Why Cant He Just Do What I Need Him to When It Comes to Disapline *Edit

my husband fights me on disaplining our daughter. he sleeps all day and never really spends time with my daughter and i unless hes forced to. any who my 3 year old daughter got sent to her room for not listening and was told to sit there until she was ready to apologize (it gives her time to cool down and myself then i talk to her when she says sorry). well as soon as my my daughter gets sent to her room my husband calls her out into our room. i called my daughter 4 times to go into her room loud enough that i know they could hear me and she didnt come. so i got up and went in my room and asked her were you told to go in daddies room or your room and she said her room. so i told her she needed to now go in her room and sit until she was ready to apologize for not listening to me again.
my husband tells me that i need to just let it go and i dont agree with that. she is old enough to learn and know that her actions have consequinces (i have been like this since day 1 so its not new to either of them). i told him i know darn well that he didnt get away with things as a child and she wont either. she knows when she has done something she wasnt supposed to and she gets put in her room with the door open untill she has calmed down to say sorry. somedays its quick and others its not.
because my husband chooses to not be very involved i have had to be the one to disipline so i have accepted that i will probably be the parent that she hates when shes older and thats ok its for her own good so i can hope she turns out a well rounded and good person.
i have learned to use time outs over spanking and i only swat when she missbehaves in a time out after 2 warnings. im at my wits end because my husband puts me down and makes nasty comments when what i do when all he does is scream and yell at her and treaten her with me and i really dont like that. i just want a tiny bit of respect from him i dont ask for much.

i realized with a post that i didnt explain why my husband was in bed all day. he works all night. so i do understand why he sleeps durring the day but on his days off when its family time hes in his room or glued to the tv and god forbid if you bother him. our daughter loves her daddy very much but she always hears just a minute. or him yelling stop im busy dont touch that blah blah. if your going to say just a min mean it dont prolong it for an hour. our daughter is pretty patient for her age but a 3 year old can only wait so long. also i have always had her sit in her room until she is done crying because its what works for us. it also gives her the chance to voice her disgust by crying because shes in trouble. i refuse to have an unruley child and i have worked very hard to get her where she is today. people are amazed how well she listens.