What to Do About Cheating Friend?

I understand not wanting to take sides in a break-up between friends, but honestly, it sounds like you already have & there's really nothing wrong with that. Personally, I'd let her know how you were feeling because really, what do you have to lose, right?

I freaking hate it when woman so easily replace Dad! It drives me batty! He was good enough for you to make the kids...ugh!

I don't know what you should do, just wanted to add that this frustrates me to no end! That 'new' man has NO right to BE DAD!

Without having read the other answers...

Cheating speaks volumes about a person's character. Just because she was having problems, doesn't mean she should have lied, manipulated, and betrayed all trust to go out and feed her "id" with another man. If you think about it, our spouse is the ONE person in the world we commit to be faithful to, promise to cherish/love beyond anything and everything. It is a HUGE betrayal to cheat. There is NO accidental cheating- if you are sane, then you are in control of every choice you make, and she entered into another relationship willingly. I won't even go into how horrible a person she is for doing this to her children! (Divorce is different- if you really need to split, then do it the right way, and peaceably.)

Anyway, if she will do this to her husband, what kind of friend is she really? One who will go behind your back and spread rumors, lie, steal from you, hurt your feelings without caring for her own benefit?

I would remain friends with the ex and the girls, but remove her from your FB list. It sounds like (from her FB comments) that she is intent on causing even more pain for him, while trying to convince herself (and the world) that everything is a-ok. It's not :(

My 2c

Remove the divorce from the equation because it seems like you are forcing yourself to be friends with her because you don't want to choose sides. Not being friends with her has nothing to do with choosing sides. You don't like the person she is now, that has nothing to do with the divorce and sides, ya know?

I have been in this exact situation and i know how you feel. I was friends with a couple for over a year (our boys are best friends and were in a small in home daycare together). Used to hang out with the mom all the time, talk to her on the phone regularly, saw here everyday picking kids up from daycare that kind of stuff. Had the couple and their son over for dinner, bday parties and did stuff together on a pretty regular basic as families. I had no idea she was cheating on her awesome husband with his best friend, until they announced they were getting divorced (they always seemed so happy). Anyways the wife kept calling and wanting to do things with me after they split which was fine until i found out about the reason for the divorce and then she wanted to start inviting her new boyfriend along to and that was the end of it. Now 2 years later they are still fighting a nasty divorce (cant agree on custody of their 3 year old son) but her ex husband is one of my best friends and i have not spoken to her in the last year and a half, I cant see being friends with someone who would do that to the person they claimed to love.

I am totally aware that I am about to sound totally judgmental. However, if I were in your shoes, I think I would just block her posts from Facebook so that I no longer saw them, and if she contacts you, just be busy and noncommittal to making plans. Or delete her altogether. The fact is, while people make mistakes, the choice she made to cheat on her husband was one of the most selfish choices ever. She has shown her true colors. If she is so selfish that she would do that to her husband and kids, then how can you trust her to not be a completely selfish friend? It sounds like she thinks the world revolves around her wants and needs. I would not want to be friends with her. Just my opinion.

If you can get past what she did, then remain friends. You don't know what really went on in their marriage. The husband may have been the most wonderful man and the wife a complete b*tch. But it could be the other way around. Or somewhere in the middle. You know the ex-husband is suffering, but it's possible the wife was suffering when she was married to him. You just don't know.

If you can find it in your heart to move past this, then remain friends. If not, you owe it to your past friendship to be honest. Let her know that you can't be friends any longer.

Like you said, it is none of your business. She deserves to be happy. If you cannot be happy for her and the "love of her life" then stop being her friend on facebook and in real life.

Should she have cheated? Of course not. But she did so if you can't forgive her for this wrong then you need to move on.

try not to get angry here...
Why is her happiness with someone else bothering you?
THEY are divorced. NOT you. She paid her price for cheating. He left her. NOW she found someone else. Had she been married to same guy, your friend NOW, Do you think she would also post how much she loves him. Did you ever wonder that he IS a great second dad. He IS the love of her life. MOVE ON. Stop getting mad at her for being happy. You dont like her? you feel she did something wrong? You cant forgive her for hurting your friend? They DONT associate. Shes asking you out cause she has not a clue that you hate her actions. You never told her this. She assumes shes still friends with you. She has no ideal her FACEBOOK quotes are bugging you. Why? CAUSE they are not meant for C. M. They are meant for everyone that cares two farts about it. You just dont like reading it.
Her kids obviously like him, so no big deal, if you think he is yucky, then go out with them and find out for yourself, instead of judging him for something he might not have had anything to really do with.
Shes not friends with DAD on FB right... so WHO CARES.

One thing I am seeing in all these posts is, She cheated, that makes her a BAD person... sick, disgusting Cheater, cheaty cheaterton... so is cheating on your husband worse or better than cheating on your taxes? Lying to the law, lying to your kids, lying to god, cheating on god, cheating on your diet... when do we make that list where one digression is worse than the other. WHO are we to judge that? Everyone Cheats and Lies in someone way. So then everyone's character stinks. She got caught. Wait for a few years, your going to find something out about dad friend your not going to like. I bet ya a hundred bucks. It could be far worse than said ex wife's cheating. Why drag the transgressions on and on. Be up front.

ADDITIONAL: just to make it clear, I am a divorced woman. I left my husband for cheating. My husband was sleeping with a woman who was still married, and her husband was dying in a hospital bed in their bedroom above them, while they were doing the deed. Yeah... had some problems with that after her adult teen SON caught them and told me about it. My boyfriend of 5 years cheated on me with a 14 year old. I am re-married with kids. I have since forgiven my husband and boyfriend for cheating, because when they did that , they lost the best thing they had. ME. They learn it later on. My boyfriend of 5 years married his cheater, and now is divorced again and is living on the streets. My ex-husband was dumped by cheater ON FB, where I got to see it and laughed my butt off.

Well, I would definitely delete her off my FB account, since you don't want to read what she writes. And anyway, do you want to keep her as a friend? If you do, you should just have a talk with her, and tell her that you are having a hard time dealing with this and you'll have to sort through it before you want to hang out. If you do want to sever the relationship, then tell her what she did is not something that you find morally right, and you will just continue to have the kids play dates with the husband. You will have to be blunt with her IMO. You don't have to say bad things to her, but she has hurt a lot of lives, so why candy coat the truth. Tell her like it is.

I am in your shoes...sort of. We have friends that we have been really close with for 12 years. The husband had some sort of midlife crisis and had an affair...or maybe several. Anyway the wife (closer to me) got fed up, (finally) and tossed his butt out. Luckily these two do not have any children.

Anyway he is still on my Facebook and is posting pics of him and his new girl taking these exotic trips that he wouldn't take with my friend. It just pisses me off. I finally de-friended him. Honestly, now that we know what all he did, he is actively avoiding us, making the decision that much easier.

You are in a tougher spot. I honestly am not sure I could deal with it. I think the real question is, can you be with her and not be really uncomfortable? Because if you can't she will pick up on that, and the whole thing will be awkward.

I might try one dinner, (or somewhere you can make and early exit), if your comfortable, then continue the friendship. If it's weird and awkward, let it go.

You don't know what went on in their marriage but I think the way she's posting all this stuff shows what she's really like. She doesn't sound like a particularly good person. She sounds immature and selfish. Personally I'd let her be so happy with her new family and give my support to the dad if he needs it.

I would tell her that you don't feel comfortable hanging out with her and her new boyfriend. When she asks why, tell her the truth! (just what you told us). If she is a true friend, she will make amends and see how you can move forward. If not, good riddance.

If it were me, I would not want to be around her anymore. I would tell her that although you all used to be friends and hang out, things have changed and you don't feel comfortable now like you used to so you would rather not go out with them. I would support the husband and have your kids see their kids during his parenting time when he has them. Then I would block her off my fb and leave it at that. Good luck.

I think if you're really that uncomfortable with the idea and what she's doing, then you should de-friend her, both on FB and in real life.
There's no sense in pretending that you're OK with the direction she's taken her life in. And while you have no business telling her what you think (which I think you know already), you also don't have to pretend to be totally oblivious to it.
You do have to be straightfoward with her, though.

Why do you have to make a judgement about her personal life? If you can't help but judge her than don't be friends. If you can respect that she is a different person from you, then hang out with her and see if she is still someone you would want to be friends with. People are weird in FB land.

I don't think I could do that (go out with them) out of respect to the dad.
I know you were friends with her first. But that doesn't make her "right."
Is this a friend you really value? Then she might deserve an explanation of your feelings.
I'm in a slightly similar situation with a couple now...separated, both FB friends and frankly, the mother is making herself look like an immature skank with her "activities" and "update" posts......
The dad is devastated and in severe financial trouble.

Who I really feel sorry for is the 3 kids involved.

I'm sorry---I guess no real answer here from me. It's tough.
You either make a stand, lose the mom-friend or paste on a smile & go I guess...

This is exactly why it happens that certain people "keep" certain friends after a divorce, I guess.

If I HAD to pick--I'd probably decline the invitation and explain, if asked. And I'd keep the relationship with the dad/girls as it is.

If you still consider her a friend, then I would limit what you're subscribed to on her profile. You can turn off her status updates in subscriptions so that they don't show up in your newsfeed and then the only time you have to read them is when you choose to and you go to her profile page. Just hover over her user name and subscription options pop up.

If you feel like it's just not right having her as a friend any longer, then that's probably deserving of a conversation with her where you break up with her as a friend and then remove her from Facebook completely.

Follow your gut reaction on this one. It is telling you something! I am a wife of a man who was cheated on by his ex-wife. She married her cheat partner and then immediately put this man in the role of dad with my hubby's daughter. I have seen first hand the kind of pain this type of situation causes. Not only was your friend cheated on he is now having to lose full-time life with his daughters and share his kids with this other man. There is a sensitivity chip missing with your friend who cheated. Life is too short to spend time with people that our gut tells us to avoid. Just my 2cents