Can Any Woman Be Totally Sure Her Man Won't Cheat?

There's only faith, trust and pixie dust. Oops, must have wandered in from the fricken' fairy tale thread.

I think people can put 100% faith in the fact that their significant other won't cheat but I don't believe anyone can know 100% that they won't.

no. many women say they can, and they believe that, but... my hubby shocked my pants off, and believe me he was not the type, or so I thought, but, he was guilty. Ive heard that opportunity knocks politely at the door, temptation leans on the bell. also I guess it depends how you define cheating. I do have a little insight on this I'd only share privately,in pm... ;)

The only person that you can 100% trust is God.

Yes.
As long as both of you love and respect each other than you can be sure.
I KNOW that my husband will never cheat simply because I know that he respects me too much. If it ever came to the point where he would consider someone else he would just simply tell me.

I do not think that anyone can say for 100% that their spouse wouldn't cheat...because things/life happens...you never know what situation could come up in the future...but, I am 99.9% sure my hubby would NEVER cheat on me. He is just not that type of person, hell, he doesn't even ever lie! He is a very good person with a very big heart and just doesn't have it in him.

~Now, that doesn't mean that it could NEVER happen...I am not that naive, but I do not ever worry about it...and that is a nice feeling!

There is no way in the world that you can be 100% sure that a man won't cheat. Actually, this might sound bad to some people, but I do believe that most men do, so that's why I don't even worry. If my husband is going to cheat there is nothing in the world I can do to prevent it, and I have my daughter and my boy on the way, so I have no time to also babysit him. So if they want to ruin a good relationship by doing such a thing then let them, that would be their mistake. What goes around comes around.

Can any man be certain his woman won't cheat?

Trust is something that is given and earned but be very careful you don't stress out your relationship and push your trust worthy man into a situation by your own design.

I am certainly SURE beyond a reasonable doubt that my husband wouldn't cheat because he knows there will be no more of all of this if he did.

Spend more time focusing on what you have and cultivating that rather than borrowing trouble where there is none. If you just aren't certain perhaps you may need to work on that in yourself before trying to have a committed realtionship with anyone.

I don't even think you can be 100% sure YOU won't cheat. Life happens.

Like someone else mentioned, we cannot dictate a spouse's behavior. However, we can control our behavior and that includes who we choose as a spouse. And there are qualities of a man that indicate a lesser likelihood of cheating. These qualities include: Honesty, Character, Drive for Self-Improvement, Loyalty, Responsibility, Family-Oriented.

If your man has these qualities and you always treat him with respect there is a far less likelihood, though no guarantee, of cheating.

No unfortunately, you cannot know with absolute certainty that ANY person in a relationship will not cheat. Temptation affects people at different times and circumstances present themselves making an opportunity prime for an affair to happen and affairs don't always have to be physical. It can be an emotional affair, which is just as devastating.

I feel that you could be insecure because of being with a cheater in the past. This is not your fault but something you do need to face. Any relationship requires a certain amount of vulnerability and learning to trust another after being hurt in the past is no easy task. Hang onto the fact that you DO trust your fiance and go with that.

Yes. Any woman can.
Some women more than others.
Depends on the level of trust and commitment between her and her partner.

My husband blinded me with fake openness and showered me with attention while he was cheating. I never ever thought he would do it (which was my mistake), but he did. We're doing great now, but it was a long, hard, painful road to find our way back to each other afterward.
Monogamy is hard. It's not even "normal" in regards to our evolution as a species (read Sex At Dawn). I believe that if either spouse strays once or twice, and the marriage lasts for longer than 10 or 15 years, they were pretty successful at being monogamous.

I'm pretty sure my husband wont cheat. I am pretty sure I wont cheat either. We love each other and have committed to each other and our children. HOWEVER...I am TOTALLY sure that IF he DID cheat I would make his life a living hell...so he better be careful!
L.

I guess no O. can be "totally sure" but it sure is a nice feeling when you're "pretty darn sure"! Seriously, I have complete and total trust in my husband and I doubt he would ever do anything to jeopardize what we have.

And it always seems like the insecure, jealous type of women are the ones that end up with cheating husbands! Weird.

I don't think it's possible to be 100% sure, but I think you can believe it is.

No. Of course not. Neither can any husband that his wife won't cheat. But being sure is COMPLETELY different than trusting.

When someone is trusting you with anything, that is half or more of the value, because NO ONE can be sure. So trust is both a gift and something to be treasured and respected.

No, like a lot of others have responded there are things you can do and keep doing but there are no guarantee. Look at some of the most beautiful women out there that's been cheated on, Halle Berry. I think premarital counseling is a good show of faith, but I don't think there are guarantees.

Wait - weren't you going to ask a cat pee question next? Or was that someone else? : )

Totally sure? Weeelll, I am pretty sure. But my DH is a stay-at-home Dad with 3 little kids and almost no sex drive (didn't start with the kids, BTW).

If he cheated, well, I think he'd have to do it with the kids around - and then they'd know and tell! And the second part - well - if he used what little drive he has to CHEAT on me, I don't think I'd ever recover...

My husband is such a standup guy, I can't imagine him ever cheating. However, I try not to ever take him for granted and tell him how much I appreciate all he does for our family. We also have a very healthy sex life. I have been to many "pampered chef" type parties and am always shocked by how many wives deny their husbands sex regularly. I think men are programmed to need it and if their needs are not met at home I see how they could look for this type of attention elsewhere. Not that I condone this or would excuse the breaking of marriage vows in this way because they lacked attention at home. I believe if you really want someone else then leave... Don't cheat!
I remember a time in my marriage I felt taken for granted and I told my husband I wanted/needed a boyfriend. Luckily he took me seriously and became my "boyfriend". I've been married for over 15 years and I think the key to a sucessful marriage is to always stay connected and laugh frequently together! My husband is truly my best friend and I just can't imagine ever hurting him by cheating or him hurting me by cheating.

Of course not. I'm fairly sure my hubby isn't the cheating kind, but one can never be 100% sure. The only person whose actions I can control are my own. If my husband wants to ruin our relationship and our family then that would be his choice. I love my husband, he loves me and we have 2 children we adore. I don't think either of us would do anything to jeopardize that. I, also, do not believe it is my responsibility to keep him in line. Women are very intuitive. I think we all know when something is up even if we can't exactly put our finger on what it is.

TOTALLY sure? I say of course not. How can you be sure of anything in life? You cannot even be sure that you will live another day.

I believe strongly that a loving successful relationship does not lie in being sure of anything -- rather it is about trusting in the fact that no matter what happens, you will be OK in the end.

I believe that one can develop trust and love with another person even when without being totally sure or certain of anything.

Hi L.,

No, you can't be 100% sure. You can trust your man 100%, but you have no control over what anyone else does but yourself. If they decide to go and cheat, you can't stop them and you can't be responsible for their actions.

**I do have to say though, for men or women who cheat regularly in relationships, the likelyhood of them cheating in a new relationship is pretty good---unless, they get some counseling or help for their behavior.**

Molly

No one can be totally sure. I can speak first hand on that. I was totally 100% sure my husband would NEVER cheat on me. He had been cheated on before me and already knew how it felt. I had 9 blissful years of total blind trust. Then the world crashed down around me. Before that fateful day I told anyone and everyone my husband would never be a cheater. Boy oh boy was I wrong.
I can't stress enough that one can never be totally sure one's spouse won't cheat. Even if you think you have a fairytale marriage(like I thought) a spouse can cheat on you. Don't ever say it wont happen cause that is a sure fire way to set yourself up to be blindsided. Yep I'm a bit bitter on this topic.

Hi there,

I am pretty sure but no one can be totally sure...because stuff happens. I agree with previous posters who stress that it's important to have a good partnership and sex life with your husband. Here's the three-step process I will pass on to my daughter (when she's old enough to marry) on the topic:

1. Try to pick someone who does not have a past history of cheating, and with whom you have a great friendship and chemistry.
2. Have enough going on in your OWN life, friends-, family- and career-wise, so that if the unthinkable happens you will not be totally crushed by it.
3. Enjoy life, and try not to worry about "what-ifs."

My ex was a cheater so I've been there, done that. My current husband is a non-issue. Just by his actions I know he will never cheat. His ex was also a cheater so I think once you have been touched by that it's "easy" to know what to look for maybe...I don't know how I just "know" he will never cheat, but I do. I think many things over the years of us being together factor into that knowledge. Some of the basic things are that me and our kids are his priority. He is never on the computer except for work, we go to bed at the same time so he's not up late at night doing things I don't know about, he does not have any kind of addicting game station, he does not drink or go out with "buddies", he doesn't have lunch alone with women co-workers or women friends (by his choice), etc. So many of these things I believe can make it more "possible" for men to cheat. Is there a 100% guarantee? NO. But I think if you are there for your husband in all the ways he needs you to be and he isn't in situations that tempt him, then you have a good chance together.

I am 100% my husband will never cheat. He is amazing!

Unfortunately, nothing is sure. Can you be sure YOU won't cheat? I have also been with cheaters and it makes if very hard for me to trust. Make sure that your fiance knows about your past, and that you have some trust issues. While it will still be annoying for them, it is easier when they understand. (Married 5.5 years.)

Yep. I know for sure my husband would never cheat. You can tell a lot by a person in how they handle the smallest things and how honest they are with those small things. Also, how secure he is with himself says a lot too! I too, have been with a cheater and it is an amazing feeling being with someone you know you can trust.

I know for sure mine won't cheat. why? Because he is overworked :)
No really, i married my husband when he was not a spring flower anymore :) He used to say how much he hated going to an empty house. now he talks about how much he looks forward at the end of the day coming home to a full house, dinner cooking, loud kids, and warmth all around. really, i make that happen every night.
also, he was not a cheater even when he was single. he was cheated on but never cheated. he always moved on when the relationship didn't work. i think he would come to me and tell me if something's not working for him rather than cheat. i am not a cheater either. i have never cheated. in fact, i hated dating. i never dated much. so it's just not in our genes.

No one can be certain that anyone will or wont do anything. but innocent until proven guilty

Good question! I can honestly say my husband would never have a "casual" affair. If he ever cheated on me, if would be because he was in love with that person, and our marriage would be over. But I know several couples where one of them has had a casual affair and they were able to work it out & are happily married now.

I guess I don't think one person can ever be 100% sure of what another person will do - unless you can see into their mind, you don't know completely. But I trust my husband 100% (which is slightly different). He loves and respects me, and we share the good and the bad with each other. He doesn't hide from me that he finds other women attractive, which I like because I think it's normal (I tell him, too) and I wouldn't want him to lie to me. But I truly believe that if he developed a crush on another woman, or started to think about one woman regularly, he would come to me and tell me and give us a chance to figure out what is missing in our relationship, because he isn't the type to seek out another woman just because.

I've been with a cheater and i DO KNOW with all my heart that my DH would NEVER cheat on me! If he did - there would be HELL TO PAY. I would make the rest of his life Miserable! So of he has any desire to cheat he better just End our relationship !!!
to play devils advocate: Can our men be 100% sure we wont cheat on them?
LOL

wow...i feel 100% sure my hubby would never cheat. my husband doesnt go out alot (in fact i am his only friend...not as sad as it sounds lol) he didnt date alot before me i always know where he is. if he isnt with me he is at work. i know he cant lie about when he is at work because i am the one who sees his paychecks so i can see how many hours he has gotten. plus...and i dont mean to sound narcissitic here....he is 42 and i am 25. i was 22 when we met and how many men who are 40 (and not wealthy...in fact he was horriably in debt when we married) get to marry a 22 yr, blonde, virgin (oh and did i mention i have studied dance...super flexiable lol) and there is a reason i married him and that is because he is very very greatful...if u know what i mean