Whoa: Anyone Else Somewhat Startled by Becoming "That Nice Older Lady"?

i am only 33, i am startled that i am the mommy helper in my child's class.. that i am a chaperone on field trips, that theres other mommas out there that are asking ME for ways to deal with their infants... seems like just yesterday i was asking about my own baby and now i am the momma with experience (in the infant/toddler department)

Yes. And I am old. 50+. Hopefully people think of me as "nice", not "mean".

But this reminds me of something that happened yesterday. I had an appointment, and parking here is challenging and expensive. Even when I take my daughter to the hospital or a major medical clinic, the attached parking garages are not free, nor cheap. So my appointment was not far from a Safeway with a very large parking lot, and I parked there and walked the two blocks to my appointment.

I noticed a small, frail-looking, sweet-looking, white-haired, elderly woman on the same sidewalk as me, a short distance in front of me. She appeared confused and appeared to be at least 80 years old. She turned around and around,as though she was trying to find some building, or trying to remember something. She started walking one way, abruptly reversed her course, then just stood there scanning the street. I guessed that she was either lost, or perhaps had some sort of Alzheimers, so I decided when I got to her that I would ask her if she needed help.

But when I got to where she was, she seemed to spot what she was looking for, across the street. She loudly blasted out three words: "Oh f****** s***" and then stomped right across the street into traffic (not at a crosswalk). Several people had to slow down or stop to avoid hitting her, and to each and every driver who stopped so they wouldn't run her over, she raised her middle finger, glaring at them, as defiantly and powerfully as an angry teenager.

So much for being a little old frail sweet lady. So I guess my goal is to not turn into that.

Yes, it's taken time for me to accept that I'm now that nice older woman. At 73, i'm that respected old woman. I first noticed that it seemed I was respected in a different way. "Let me carry that bag for you. Are you sure you don't want someone to help getting groceries to your car?" "Wow, you have a cell phone! You text? !" From my daughter. "If.this is too tiring for you,.it's OK to stay home." Until a couple of years ago, very few were concerned about me doing ordinary things. My theory is that my more visible wrinkles give me away. I can still do most everything I could do when younger.

My 36 yo daughter has a close friend who has a 19 yo son. She's 10 years older than my daughter. She's lots of fun! When my 5 yo grandaughter was born, I felt like one of the group at her home delivery. I felt young. As time goes by and they treat me with deference, I feel older.

My mother used to say she didn't feel old on the inside. I now understand. I am starting to feel old on the outside. I do have less stamina. I see my wrinkles. And my friends are ill or dying. For me this age feels similar to being a teen in that i'm in between heaven and my daughter's generation. Fortunately, I'm more confident and have wisdom coming from all those years of experience.

At work, we called people with wrinkles, raisins, not just because of wrinkles, also because their attitudes seemed all dried up. I'm not a raisin yet. Smile

It is part of life cycle. I still feel like the 34 year old. It felt strange the other day when I spoke with a college student and gave him advice that he appreciated. I guess the gray hair around the forehead has given me an air of authority and appreciation. There is a bit less energy for huge projects and it takes a bit longer to complete them..

The thing that does surprise me a bit is the gray throughout the hair and my curves that are a bit fuller than say 10 yeas ago. But I am happy with what I have and I can still get around and not be a burden on anyone. I kind of enjoy being the older woman of 68 now.

There was a time back with the covered wagon when tampons were advertised for the "older" woman like 30s and then a few years later it was the "teen" girl that was using them. So somewhere in between I grew up and the world changed. Does anyone remember the Breck Girl commercials? I know i am telling my age with that.

Have a great day all.

the other S.

I am often shocked when I look in the mirror and see an older middle aged woman.

In our times though it's funny how those older ladies we thought were the age we are now are really the ones up in their 80's? When I think of little old ladies I see white hair, wrinkled skin, sagging arms and skin, knotty hands, and more. I always thought of those ladies as in their 60's/70's but in real life they're older. I look like what I used to think 40's and 50's looked like.

My family, small children and camels like me.
I'm happy with that.
Otherwise I'm not responsible for other peoples happiness or lack thereof.
I work serving food at the high school cafeteria.
Most think I'm nice but you can't be a push over otherwise they'll rob you blind.
I'm capable of 'nice' but I don't feel I HAVE to be.

My Mom (she's 80) always says she mentally feels the same as she has since she was 17.
Mentally I feel like I'm 22 and I'm 54.

My best friend and I were actually talking about this recently. We are both early 50s and stated that with age comes perspective on life. Our kids are adults and she has grandkids. I have granddogs. =) So life wise we are in very similar places. Here it is... My give a damn is busted and I if asked I will tell you what I think because honestly I don't care what you think. I think when you age and have multiple life experiences, you don't sweat the small stuff.

My son is getting married next year. I marvel at that. I can't believe I AM old enough!! I'm getting old photos together for the reception and I feel like it was just yesterday that I was taking him to his first day of school. The memories have been flooding back and I can't figure out where all the time went and where the hell was I???

My brain thinks I've 30 but my knees know its a lie.

I was actually going to post something along these lines.

I'm 49. My husband is 42. However, he looks way older than me. People are shocked when they find out I'm 7 years older than him. But I think that's because he looks older and I either look my age or older. I "feel" younger in my mind, but not my body. LOL I am overweight, always have been, and need a double knee replacement. About 2-3 years ago, I had some weird medical thing hit me. They "think" I had a stroke, but they don't know for sure. But I've kind of gone downhill since then, had a bunch of weird symptoms that they have not been able to diagnose after seeing 6 specialists. Shortly after this happened is when I realized I had "aged" pretty much over night.

So now when I catch a glimpse of myself, I kind of jump because I look sooo much older than I *think* I do! I'm usually pretty photogenic but if someone takes a pic and I'm not 'ready' for it, I really look aged and haggard. Mostly wrinkles and baggy skin.

My mom has had a facelift, about 7 years ago. It freaking TRAUMATIZED me!!! I swore I would never ever do that to myself. However, I do think I need some kind of miracle cream or something to tighten everything up...if it's even possible and not too late!!!! LOL

I am perpetually in a weird place age-wise in that compared to the average age of first-time mothers where I live, I had my first child very young. As a result, most of my friends who I know through my oldest kids (who are 18) are 10-15 years older than me (early- mid-fifties and talking about empty nests, downsizing and retirement planning), so I feel like I'm at the same life stage but really, I'm 41 and have a long way to go before I'm past the active parenting stage as my youngest is 10. I'm on a volunteer board that works with the PTO/PTA organizations at all of the public schools in my district and a lot of the moms of the early elementary school kids have babies and toddlers or are pregnant, etc. and I play the role of been there, done that, wise-old-owl mama. In reality, a lot of these women are my age or are maybe a few years younger LOL but I'm just further along the mama timeline than they are. It's really weird to me that within the next 10 years, I could easily be watching my kids get married and have babies and they would be at an age where that's appropriate and not tragically young. I feel like I've been mothering forever and that I'm ready to slow down a bit be that nice older lady but chronologically, I need to get my act together, find some energy and keep running around with my kids for another 8-10 years.

People I hang out with, am friends with, know I am older, for some younger, but it is never anything like you describe. Two of my kids are almost 30, I still get carded from time to time. I don't think it is because I look so young and hot, I act young, happy, ya know.

It isn't that I am immature, or even act immature, I just don't act stick up my butt mature.

I am eligible for senior discounts, but luckily they frequently don't believe me and I have to show ID.
But, other times, people who look "old" in my opinion will say things about "our age" and I realize that I don't look like a spring chicken...(or the other person is in denial too!)
Let's face it...we don't look young forever....I'm trying to accept it as best I can.

Sometimes I feel like I should still be 13, like my oldest kid. But I'm not, I'm 33. I'll take it...but it's weird for sure sometimes!

Well I am a few months away from being able to join AARP so I'm feeling a little down about that. But since I can't stop time I plan to enjoy my AARP benefits. Most people think I'm in my 30's so I will just have to be happy with that.

Oh my!! So I'm not alone....At 53 I feel like i'm a late-30-something. But...It really hit me when folks on the bus recently(within say the past year and a half or so) have started calling me "ma'am" and offering me a seat on the bus... Wha' happened? --LOL