Toddler Fear of Facial Hair!

She may be too young, but introduce her to Santa Claus, read her some books or show her a video of Santa giving toys to boys and girls and fill her mind with the wonderment of Santa and Christmas. Maybe then she'll relate a beard to Santa and nice things and the fear will dissipate! Good luck!

Let her carry around a picture of her grandfather...that she can hold in her hand. Talk about him a lot - like every hour...look at the picture together. Talk about his beard...use things around the house to make a beard for your face. Take it off and laugh...then look at the picture of her grandfather and talk about his beard... tell her it is funny and laugh.... Lighthearted!
I hope this goes well for you and your family!!!

I would suggest your father have something in his pockets that she would love---candy, small toy, just something she can associate a good feeling with him.

You might try taking pictures of your brothers and father and showing them to your little one. (Or even printing pictures of people with facial hair off the internet) This way she is not surprised by their appearance when she sees them. You also might try to find dolls or puppets with facial hair. I know that sounds silly, but it might work. I have seen some at Mardels, I think that they are Jesus puppets :-) Most of the men in my family have facial hair, but thankfully my son has had no fears yet. Good luck!

Little about me: SAHM with 7 month old son, 10 years experience and a degree in early childhood development and education.

I don't really have any advise, I just thought it was funny because my daughter was the very same way until she was 2!! We did everything we could think of, but nothing worked. My dad eventually shaved his beard (his choice, not ours), but my nephew also had a beard and she cried every time we saw him even though we saw him every weekend. I wish I had some suggestions, but hopefully your daughter is almost over it! :) Good Luck and God Bless!

my nephew went thru this with our dad. take pictures of the people so your child can get use to seeing them and the idea of the fake beard is good too. But I am sure your dad understands, but dont push it. Let them come around.

I think it's normal, hair or no hair, for a toddler to be afraid of people she's not around very much. I saw Supernanny do a little skit about this where she got the parents down to the children's level and then she stood up and asked them if they felt a little intimidated and they didn't realize how it feels for little ones when everyone else is much taller and different than they are. So, totally normal and I would encourage you not to force it, since she will come around when she is ready! Usually about when my dad leaves, mine warm up too. Good luck!

Maybe it would help the next time you see him to make a tape of her and him together doing something fun so she will not be afraid of him. Then the next time that you are going to see him she could watch it before hand. Not sure if that will help. Maybe he could shave the beard off. Good luck!

Of course you can't ask them to shave. That would be insensitive...but you and your hubby can wear fake beards around the house so your dtr can get used to the fact that people with beards are okay.
She knows you are her safe-haven and if she gets used to you in a beard wil will know 'those kind' of people are safe also. I know it sounds crazy, but I think it would work.
If you are a SAHM you can make games with wearing the beard during the day so she has more time to get used to it. If you both work, make a game of 'dress up' in the evening up until she goes to bed. Let her wear the beard as well.
My oldest was deathly afraid of my husbands uncle b/c of the beard. The more he came around the less worried about the beard she was. I think it is b/c a beard covers facial expressions and at a young age that is how you learn to trust people.
It's good to start now anyway, Santa is right around the corner. :)

When my daughter was a year old, I took her to get her photo taken with Santa Clause. It took me an hour to get her comfortable sitting on the guy's lap for a photo. Then later, she was at a sitter's who's husband had a beard. She freaked... Of course she out grew the beard thing...

I would suggest your husband to get a fake beard and put it on/off in her presence. Of course where it for a while each time...

Good luck.

I'd put together a little photo album of all the extended family. You know Grandma, Grandpa, Aunt Marge and Cousin Joe. Then I'd look at it with her, name the people, and talk about all the fun things she does/can do with each one. At his age my son loved looking at family pictures anyway.

I had a similar fear when I was little. One Halloween when I was two my mom dressed up as a pirate. I was terrified. I couldn't wrap my little brain around the concept of mom with a beard. I was afraid of men with beards for a while after that. Funny thing about it though; my dad has a beard. Even my mom has never seen him without it. I wouldn't recognize my own father in a crowd if he shaved today. I was never afraid of him, only all the other bearded men in the world. Who knows what I was thinking!

I think we all know this is a temporary thing a kid would go throught but "geez" isn't a good response. I think the point is that there is a grandparent the parent would like the child to bond with in some way in the little time they have together during this trip. It can be sad to watch a loved relative come see a baby and hope to enjoy the visit just to leave and have been the object of their fear. Especially if they don't get to see each other often or if its an elderly relative.

ANyway, I didn't have a chance to read all the suggestions so i'm sure many good ones have been given. I don't think having them shave is a reasonable answer though some grandparents may be willing. A caring gparent will understand the situation and try to help. The only things that come to my mind are perhaps having the grandfather bring a small fun toy (probably unwrapped b/c the little girl may not get close enough to concern herself with opening a gift but may change her mind if Grampy is standing there HOLDING a beautiful dolly) and have it out right when they are in the same room. With a smile of course. And I think sitting down is a less aggressive position and standing and "coming at her", you know?

or perhaps if the baby can be on the opposite side of the room and maybe another young relative is there and interacts with the grandfather first....showing how kind he is, speaking softly and nicely etc (maybe giving THAT child a small gift so your little girl can see) and maybe doing something funny like givign his beard a little tug and grampy can make a funny face and laugh....i don't know. just ideas to show your little girl the beard doesn't equal scary/evil.

But it could be that none of that will work. Maybe you will do your best if you can just get them in the same room if not together. Sometimes trying to force it makes things worse. good luck.

This is pretty normal at this age, I have pictures of me and my daughter at this age with Santa screaming our lungs out! I would show her a lot of pictures of men with facial have and talk about them, expecially if you have family pictures. Good Luck!

Maybe try talking about how much fun she is going to have when Grandpa comes and how he has really neat hair on his face. I would show her pictures and touch the beard in the pictures. Then maybe sit down and help her color a picture of Grandpa with his beard. I would just talk about it as if it were something really exciting and hopefully she will be desensitized to it by the time he gets to your house. Good Luck.

Maybe get a fake mustache/beard for your husband and play a game with her - let her touch it pull it, etc. and show her that he's still the same daddy she knows and loves. It could even be fun for you, just pretend you have a mustache - we did this with my youngest son, and he thought it was hilarious after a while - at first he was a little freaked out - you could even put it on her and let her play with it. A word of warning, thouhg - she may try to pull their beards/mustaches - so give them some warning before she gets too close.

Hope that helps,
Laura

I don't have any experience with it but I would go buy a fake beard and play with it to get her used to it.
Let her see and feel Daddy's whiskers and tell her that the beard is just long hair on the face and they can not hurt her.
Do you have a picture of him to let her see every day and maybe hang it on the fridge where she can see it?
Also if she will get a visit from Santa, maybe go buy her a Santa with a beard so she can get used to him and his beard.
I can just imagine what that must look like to her. Kids see things really big and with different eyes.
good luck

My granddaughter did the same thing, but after a while we figured out that it wasn't the beard/mustache, it was men in general. She was fine around papa and dad, but because she didn't spend time away from close family, she would freak when any other man talked to her. Wasn't too fun when trying to get her pictures taken :-) Luckily she outgrew it, as will your daughter. This is a tough age because they like familiarity, so anyone new is going to get the same treatment.
I felt the same way when we went to see my dad, she would just not go near him for a few days and by the time she did, it was time to leave. Good luck...

I'd say you've hit a normal stage - we did it too. My son was fine with beards at first - it actually helped for meeting Santa at 11 months because he looked like Grandpa! (and a couple of uncles). But then the fear developed, and there wasn't much we could do but wait it out, hard as that was for my dad and uncles. I do like the ideas of pictures for her to look at to get used to them, and a fake beard to role play with.

my daughter kinda did this with my dad, not quite as bad so i dont know if this will work for you or not. but my dad would do silly stuff like intentionally drop food on his beard so he looked silly or try to put her little hair clips in it (not that it was really long enough for that) stuff to make her laugh. & then when she warmed up he would tickle her with it. not sure if this will work since you said your daughter cries just at the sight of it, (my daughter was just kinda leary of it) but it's worth a try....
...also maybe start talking to her about it, or make a picture of a person with her & have her put cotton balls on the face for a beard.

Good suggestions.

Another might be to "adopt" an intown family that has a male with a beard - maybe from church or something. If she spends time with a bearded man then she might learn they aren't so scary.

Or maybe your husband could grow a beard! Mine did this past January and I love it! He has to keep it fairly short or it itches and drives him crazy. Actually, he finds it easier than shaving daily - he just uses the powered hair shaver with the No 1 comb (shortest one) and runs it over his beard once a week. Takes about 5 minutes or less and no razor cuts!

A.

I would get one of those baby photo books and put several pictures of him in it. That is what I do for my daughter whose relatives live away. Good luck!

A 21 month old & facial hair...when your dad comes to visit...and I know this sounds crazy, but get some plastic hair bows/clips (like the little girls wear in their hair) & if your dad's beard is long enough YOU brush it & put girlie clips or ribbons in it making it fun & she will not see it as a scary thing & while your doing this have him read a childrens book while wearing them...I hope this helps!

this may or may not work, but here is what I thought of trying. Go get a fake mustache or beard, whatever is closest to her grandpa. Since Halloween costumes are already out, you should be able to find one. If not, get felt and cut it to the size and shape. Then "play" dress up with it. Put it on your face (you'll have to find something tacky to hold it on or a way to loop it over ears), have her daddy and your daughter . Have her look in the mirror. Show her pictures of granpa's beard too. Then talk about it A LOT! Talk about that grandpa's isn' t for play, it is real. That it is hair growing on his face like hair grows on her head. That underneath grandpas facial hair, his face looks like your faces when you take off your "fake" beard. Be sure to emphasize that since grandpa's isn't for dress up that he can't just pull it off like the play beard and pulling on it hurts just like pulling on hair hurts.

She may spend the whole week trying to pull off his beard, who knows. I guess if she does that, maybe she won't be scared of him at least. I don't really know if this will work. Kids at this age are sometimes afraid of things that are kind of funny to us. My almost 19 month old is afraid & at the same time strangely fascinated with electronic plush toys that sing and some part of them also moves! Good luck.

Ps. You may also be able to find a children's book at the library about beards, to read to her. Ask the children's librarian & be sure to tell her your daughter's age so she can get an age appropriate book, if it exists!

Edited**Well I just read that someone else already recommended the fake beard idea. I guess great minds think alike, spooky!

Did Santa scare her? haha Try visiting the costume section of the store and let her see you and your husband trying on wigs/beards, etc (not anything scary of course) and let her get used to that. Say like, "hey look I'm Grandpa" and laugh and cut up. Maybe she could wear the beard and she could be grandpa too. :)

This might be a really dumb suggestion, but since your husband doesn't and she is obviously comfortable with Daddy, why don't you go and try getting a fake beard and let him wear that. Have her watch him put it on and let her feel it and play with it while he is wearing it. Then maybe she can see that facial hair is ok. Also, have him take it off for awhile so she can get use to him without it and then a few hours later have him put it on when she is not with him so when he reappears he has it on. Maybe it will help, I sure hope so.