This regarding a 17 year old with a thick beard growth and neck hair. He apparently finds shaving too time consuming and says his facial hair grows "too fast". He says the electric razor doesn't work or gets caught or pulls the hair. The sink used to get clogged every week..And I guess he tried shaving with 5 different razors at a time to speed it up the shaving time (less blade rinsing?). He doesn't want to talk about it.
We are thinking of recommending that he just wear a beard and periodically have it trimmed by a barber. He looks good with a beard, but it does create a sort of "mountain man" effect, because it is so thick and over his neck also.
Has anyone got experience or ideas about this?
Added notes: He physically matured young (very tall) but otherwise is not mature for his age (but thinks he is). He is a not a talker...or a listener, for that matter! He IS planning to look for a job soon, so I think we can use that to bring up the topic (again).
He's doing a little bit better with the shaving. He does it more consistently, at least. He still likes to keep multiple razors.
There is a store called "Art of Shaving" that specializes is shaving supplies. They have creams, brushes and razors. They people there might be able to give him some guidance/suggestions. We have one in Walnut Creek and I would guess that you could find one in the San Jose area.
I bet his friends are envious --- they all want lots of facial hair at that age! If I were you, I would offer to take him to a barber to learn how best to deal with the beard, and then leave it alone. His friends will all have ideas, and he will probably try them all. (My nineteen year old just shaved all the hair off his face, except for a pencil moustache and some weird "mutton chops" he's growing under his chin, and he's shaved a diagonal slice out of one of his eyebrows. He has a new look every week!)
My husband grows a beard very easily. He has to shave every day or pay. The reason why your son says it is "pulling" is that the hair is getting too long between shaves. The easiest way to stay clean cut is to get a good electric shaver. Maybe he needs to shave morning and night - depending on his skin. The fact that it is time consuming isn't an excuse because he can do it while he is reading or watching TV. Regarding a 17-year old with a beard - extrememly young to have a beard and it will age him considerably. The fact that he sweats a bit, I wouldn't recommend it.
Good Luck.
As a wife of a "mountain man" I would recommend you get him a GOOD razor (not the 10 for 10 bucks kind) and have a barber (if your husband doesn't want to) show him how to shave correctly. IF he is not willing to do that then he needs a good trimmer (the electric razor he has obviously isn't good enough or he doesn't know how to use it) and, again, have someone show him how to trim his beard so it doesn't look shaggy. My husband loves wearing a goatee because it means that he doesn't have to shave around his mouth and chin (a very sensitive area, especially if you have thick hair) but he does shave his cheeks and neck making him look much more stylish and well groomed.
Since he is at an age when he will soon be wanting to get out and get a job he is going to need to look neat and tidy. Even if he doesn't want to now he should be practicing. =)
You said your son doesn't want to talk about the facial hair problem. I'm wondering if he is embarrassed or frustrated about the hair, or if the hair really is not an issue for him. I'm guessing he might be embarrassed or frustrated. Yes, guys want some facial hair to make them feel "more manly" or grown up, but too much hair can cause teasing by peers. He might not be sharing this if it has happened at school. Kids can be mean and call other kids names like "gorilla man" or "monkey boy". If his self esteem and personal confidence are strong he'll deal with it on the outside but it might gnaw on the inside (emotionally)and likely not be something you want to tell your Mom. Your relationship with him is important so you can get to the truth (his real feelings) without more embarrassment or frustration. Be sure YOU are the right person to talk to him, or perhaps his Dad or trusted Uncle- someone he looks up to and willing to share his feelings with, would be a better choice. Give that some sincere thought.
If he is embarrassed or frustrated then finding a solution is imortant. Talking to a GOOD barber that will provide a pleasant experience and wise advice on "how to" and where to get quality equipment is a step in the right direction. You can talk to a dermatologist about hair removal that will permanently remove or reduce the amount of growth. Women commonly deal with hair removal in that way- works for men too. They might also recommend a cream that leaves the face smoother- longer. If he wants the hair removed, there are ways to do it that don't involve the everyday boredom and frustration that teens and early 20's don't want to bother with.
If he likes the hair on his face, then finding a "hip" style could provide the motivation to trim it up.
There are lots of directions to go with the facial hair issue but I think the first avenue to follow is an open, honest conversation about how he really feels about the hair growth, and what he'd really want if it were up to him. And please, don't make this a point of casual conversation around family and friends until you know what he's really thinking. This really is a kind of personal issue
Good Luck. hope you find the right solution. Look forward to hearing how this turn out.
I used to work with a guy who had sensitive skin, so he couldn't shave, but he did trim with one of those "trimmers" to have a Miami Vice look. We were in sales so he had to do "something".
My husband is so tired of ingrown hairs on his neck I think he is ready to get them lasered off for life. He knows he will never want the "mountain man" look and have neck hair. You could talk to a dermatologist about that option.
And yes, there are guys who have to shave twice a day...
One thing I haven't noticed in this thread is mention of GIRLS. I know there are some counter culture cliques into uni-bomber beards, but for the most part it seems teen girls would go for the Miami Vice look is he won't do clean shaven. Could you ask to see pictures of his favorite bands? At least it would give you a clue to see what direction he is headed towards (He wants to look COOL and loves the beard, or is he secretly miserable about the hair?)
Rae,
My daughters boyfriend was the same way when it comes to shaving. He just doesn't want to do it unless something requires it. They do make clippers at home he can trim it with. My husband won't let his hair grow because 1. its too coarse to kiss him with it, and 2. when the hairs get longer he can't shave them because they pull and hurt.
W. m.
Short of electrolysis, he is stuck with heavy facial hair and should learn how to deal with it. You need to have a good talk with him and find out if he just doesn't like the look of it, doesn't like to take care of it or doesn't really care at all. His response will depend on how he chooses to deal with his hair. Nowadays you can do a lot of designs in hair that are cool and it sure beats a tattoo! Help him learn to take pride in his looks. Goatees are a semi solution - less shaving around the difficult mouth area. Electric razors only work for light bearded men. He needs a good quality razor product. If he is just lazy (sorry to be blunt), then look at whether he is lazy in general. If not, he will probably in time come to deal with his hair more effectively. If he intends to enter a professional career he will probably get it together by then, although he may still be a bit scruffy through the college years. If he really doesn't care about his looks, then as long as he's clean just love him the way he is, scruff and all. If he ever drops his actual hygeine standards this could be a sign of depression and you should address it. GOod luck!
Greetings Rae: I have several sons with the same problem, and my husband would shave 2x's a day as he needed to look professional. His hair was so dark that a 5 o'clock shadow looked like a light beard. My youngest son, at age 23, has red hair that is streaked with gray. The little ones all call him Uncle Bear-- because he actually looks like a giant burly, grizzlely bear, becasue it is so frizzy
He has such curly thick facial hair, that it is hard to cut. I took him to see my beautician, and she saved our bacon with a product her husband useses, and made a real difference.
It is called ---- SHAVE SECRET--- it has oils in it that help keep the face smooth.. The oil makes it easier to use and to feel good on the mans face. It makes it so a man doesn't have to hurt or break out from shaving.
My guys are able to make some very fancy chin straps with how they trim their beard.
You, are able to find this product just about everywhere but I generally get it at WaLMart and it is less that $3.00.@ Walgreens it is generally $3.45, so the price varies. I just know that is works very well and and we appreciate it greatly!!!
For a guy, facial hair and body hair is a way of knowing that they are entering manhood. There are just as many variables for a guy as there are for my girls,
So try Save Secret and see if it works. One thing I have learned with my wonderful guys--- I gotta stay a few steps ahead of tthem. Hope this helps!! Nana G
Personally, I've had no luck getting my very handsome son to style his hair or facial hair in any way. At that age they don't want mommy telling them how to look. My son looks so much better clean-shaven, but he and all his friends wear facial hair. I think it's just something guys do at that age to feel more manly.
Those 17 year olds are sensitive about this subject aren't they?! My little brother just went through all of this too. Don't know if this helps, but with him, a little time passed 6-8 months, and he just ended up shaving on a regular basis. It may be a sore subject at the moment, but it will pass!
Hi Rae,
I agree with Helen, I would take him to a barber where he can get a clean shave and its also a pleasant experience...nice warm towel treatment. A good barber can show him how it's done and tell him the best products to buy for home use.
We have a guy at work whose 5 o'clock shadow, shows up around 3 and its so dark it makes him look kind of dirty. When he's late for work, he doesn't bother to shave and I don't want him dealing with customers looking bad.
Getting a job is sometimes important for a teen, so he needs to put his best foot forward. Can't wait to see how everything turns out.
Blessings.......
