Special Needs Son Is Very Hairy

Do you have any medical or professional assistance that comes in to assist you with any personal needs care? If you do I would discus it with them and see if they can assist you.

J.

I've been in the medical field for 11 yrs. caring from neonatal-geriatrics. if your son will let you trim his hair with scissors(childproof ones) in the personal area, that would be better on his skin than hair removing lotions. it's alot easier on personal hygiene if the hair isn't too thick/long there. not to sound gross, but hair holds in moisture, wether it be from sweat or urine, and if the hair's not maintained it can keep an odor even after washing, which in turn can cause skin rashes that can be very difficult to clear up. as for the facial hair, CONAIR sells aa electric trimmer, it's the size of a pencil and is very quiet(what i used to use when i worked with MR & alzhieners patients), and i made it into a game so it wouldn't be a burden for them to get thier beards trimmed. if you ever want to talk or need any advice, feel free to email me anytime. God be with you & your family.
C.

I worked in a MRD center with many young boys turning into young men.We shaved their faces and if we had to trimmed the lower private hair with scissors. Shaving a person is very easy.Use a good shaving cream and warm water.We mostly used Bic sensitive skin razors that are disposable.It is fun if you can get them to puff out their cheeks for you and make facial gestures for them to try to copy so it is easier to shave certain areas. I used these technics at the nursing home as well and knock on wood never brought blood.

I don't have a special needs child, but I am a barber. I know you said an electric razor would scare him, but there are some clippers (outliners) that are very very quiet & work really well. Andis makes one called a T Outliner that might help. I also do razor shaves & dont suggest doing it on him unless your sure he can remain very still. If that's the route you decide to go, there are several things you can do to make the shave easier on you, if he can handle it.
1.) If possible, lay him down & lather his facial hair
2.) Get a face towel wet w hot water, (as warm as he can stand it) and wrap it around his face over the lather until it's cool.
3.) Repeat w the steam towel.
4.) Once the 2nd steam towel is cool, remove & relather him. The afore mentioned processes are meant to soften the hair folicle.
5.) Begin your shave w a disposable safty razor & make sure you pull his skin taunt while shaving. Always shave with the growth of the hair rather than against it.
6.) After the shave we usually apply a cool face towel to the face to close the pores & avoid irritation.

You may want to take him to a barber shop that does shaves & they can show you. Most barbers tend to be laid back ppl & will be understanding. We do lots of shaves on handicapped ppl that are unable to do it themselves.
Hope that helps!
Good luck,
A.

Bless your heart, you have a lot going on!

I would do what you need to do to take care of him, down there, maybe a trim would help the diapering issue be more hygienic for both of you. You could speak to the physical therapist too, it might cause him irritation and would be better left alone.

If you don't think that his facial hair is an issue, and if he does not thing it is an issue, then I would not worry about it unless it is causing him feeding or hygiene issues. If it is unsightly, I suppose that you have to weigh out how people may treat him as a result too.

Does he have an IEP for personal care issues? I don't know how much he can do himself, but this would be appropriate if he is able to participate in the grooming and make some personal decisions about his own appearance.

M.

I love your post! I am a mother of 3 special needs children as well! My oldest was 23 when he passed away. Had Cerebral Palsy and pnuemonia took his life.
Now on to your situation: Is your child in a wheelchair or is he ambulatory? The sooner you "learn to shave" with a razor the better off you'll be. Yes, the noise of an electric razor maybe frightening but it you work with your son, it maybe safer. If his hair is too long and thick - thin it down with scissors first. Then use razor. Or IF he's on the Ohio waiver program - a home health aide or someone at his school maybe able to help you learn to shave him. I'd recommend washing his face, lathering, take razor and stroke downwards, removing the hair. Remember, however you start to "shave" his face is the way the hair usually grows. Good luck. You can do it! And as for the private area - trim with scissors. Small scissors and be careful NOT to cut his skin.

Hello K.,

I don't have any advice or experience with the hair thing, but as I was reading your post, I noticed you have a 7 yo girl who has an anxiety disorder. I do too. I write to you to maybe help you in case our daughter's have a similar disorder. My daughter used to live a horrible life due to the stresses of life, then I diagnosed her ith SELECTIVE MUTISM - (or SM) after a lot of research. Now she is medicated, and lives a relatively normal life. I would like to share what I have written to several people about it, it may change the quality of your daughter's life. Let me know your email address so I can send it there, as not to take up the whole mamasource space. Anyone else interested in SELECTIVE MUTISM, I will be happy to send it to you too- and talk about it with you. That is why I am here at mamasource, to help other's learn about SM, and help children grow into healthier and happier children.

Thanks!
A.

K., I just recently lost my brother (2 weeks ago) and he was very special. First off I want to take my hat off to you for not sending your children to a home to be forgotten. Home would have never been the same without my brother, and he too just like your son wore diapers and grew facial hair and other hair. When it was time to shave we would let him soak in the bath tub and then pull him up on the side of the tub while we were sitting on the side of the tub, kind of like a head lock and shave him, but you have to be quick, if you can't get it all the first time don't worry just try again the next day or later, cause it does stress them out and electric razors are completly out of the question, just like you said the noise terifies them. As far as for the rest we just did it the old fashioned way and used a wash rag, wet wipes don't work. Hav fun with your children they truely are special, and never give up God never gives you more than you can handle. I truely miss my brother he was 38 and home will never be the same without him, we knew this day was coming since he was born, as the dr.'s said he would not see his first birthday, 38 years later we were still not ready to say see you later, but now he is perfect and may he rest in peace.

K.,
I looked up Robert's Synd. as I have not heard of it. I have to say that you are probably a very busy and overworked Mommy. I don't really have much advice for you, except I wouldn't shave his pubic area as when it grows in, it will be pretty uncomfortable. I would trim it to keep him clean and improve hygiene (like with a little beard trimmer). You must be an amazing person and your children are blessed to have parents like you. Best wishes and God Bless your family! A.

Can your son see and know the concept when yor husband shaves? maybe while watching your husband shave he will understand that you are not going to hurt him, a regular razor I would use. It use to take me two hours to trim my sons hair, I perfectly understand the electric razor, I had to find a electric trimmer that made a low sound. David never grew hair on his private parts. I would ask his doctor about that.

Wow - you are a very busy mom! I'm sorry I don't have any advice for you, although I read what was posted below and it sounds like you have some great suggestions. I just wanted to post to tell you that you're wonderful! God never gives you more than He knows you can handle, and He must have given you tremendous gifts and graces to raise your children. I will always think of you now and remember you in my prayers :)

Oh K., you have your hands full! I really don't have any info for you on that subject but I do have a book you may like to read. it is called

"Unexpected Journey" written by Joe and Cindi Ferrini.

They too have a special needs son who is now 29 yrs old. It is just being released.
May I keep you in my prayers. Know that Jesus loves you and your family so very much. I don't know why these things happen but I do know that God is with you and He loves you with an Everlasting Love!

also about shaving his private area, I don't think I would do that because then as it grows back it would be itchy. But I think, if he would stay still for you, maybe you could just trim the hair so it is shorter and easier to keep clean, and it would more comfortable as it grew back than the shaving would be.

Hi K., my little cousin was severly handicapped, he also was very hairy, he would grow a full beard if my Aunt would let him, however she did not. She shaved him with a bic razor, just be careful, I think he'll be fine. And she didn't shave his private area either, when she diapered him,, she'd just make sure she got him clean. She had him up until this past August, he lived to be 45 yrs. old. She was a good Mother, and I know you are too. I hope this helped you in some way. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Your children also.

Hi K..
When I went into school to do nurses aide training, shaving was one of the things they taught us to do and honestly I was scared to death the first time I had to, but it wasn't as bad as I had expected and the more you do it, the more confident you feel about it. It's not as scary as you think it is. I don't think I ever cut or nicked anyone. As for the pubic hair, I would just leave that alone. It's only going to grow back if you remove it and sounds like you have ENOUGH to keep up with. Good luck!
K.