Should My Daughter Be in Teh Class with Her Best Friend??

It won't matter one way or the other which classrooms they are in. My son never shared a classroom with his best friend, and it didn't make the move-away any less sad.

Don't request that they be together, or apart. Just let it work out the way it is meant to be.

Whether its now or later, they will need to separate....I don't think it matters. Let them be in the same class for now.

There are few times in your life that you could have a true best friend. Let them be together and treasure that time together. It's going to be tough but no use in slowly taking off that bandaid for both kids.

Are you saying your daughter has NO OTHER friends but this little girl? I doubt it if I know 8-9yr old kids.
Letting them spend another year together is no biggie. Your daughter has her whole life ahead of her to make friends.

You are micro-managing your daughter's social life. Step back. Give her room to be a person and to experience whatever feelings or emotions will come with her bff moving.

One of the problems with kids today is that they do not learn how to deal with and manage negative feelings because parents are always trying to shield them from anything unpleasant. Unpleasantness isn't fun, but it's a part of life and kids need to learn how to deal with it.

Think for a minute, if your hubby was going to be deployed. Do you spend the last months of his being home separating from him to make the deployment easier? No! You spend as much time with him as possible before he goes. Let your daughter have that, if it's in the cards.

friends moving and friendships ending is an inevitable part of life. kids cope with it because they have to, and if they have supportive, sympathetic parents, the parents help them with it.
it's natural and necessary.
you don't have to create the separation. when the friend moves, your daughter will mourn, then move on and find new friends. why deprive them both of this last opportunity to enjoy their closeness?
khairete
S.

I vote for letting them be together. But also make a very big effort to have a playdate at least once a month with a child other than the best friend, so that you can make sure your daughter is developing other friendships to fill the void when her friend moves away.

Either way would be fine.
If they are in different classes, not only will your girl get a chance to make new friends but so will the other girl - and it will be a skill she'll need when she moves.
They can certainly get together outside of school.
But if they are in 3rd grade together they will have a last year together and then they'll have no option but to branch out in the 4th grade.
Maybe they can practice writing letters to each other (using snail mail) so they can keep in touch once the other girl moves away.
It's great to have a pen pal!

I second Mynewnickname. Give your daughter other opportunities to form friendships with others. Girl Scouts and sports would be a great way. Like Jim said, I'm sure these girls naturally gravitate towards others as well so it probably is not as black and white a situation as you're seeing it.

Leave them together, give them their last year of memories. Separating them now isn't going to make the hurt any less hurtful. Your DD will do fine come her next year of school.

I would not have a problem with them staying together. It sounds like they have a special friendship. Who knows, something could change by the end of 3rd grade as well.

My concern would be if this best friend is your daughter's ONLY friend.

I am sure that is not the case here but if it is, your daughter needs to be in some programs outside of school to socialize if she is not socializing with others at school.

It is good to have a best friend but we need to have many friends. As she goes through her school career, she will need to know how to work well with others.... girls, boys, children of different races, etc... hence.. being diverse. Especially in the higher grades you deal with study groups, project groups and it is important to have communication and social skills so each person can pull their weight in the group situation.

Just my two cents. Have a great day!

If this girl is your daughter's only friend - ie, no other playdates etc, then I think you should steer them into separate classrooms. One of my daughters has had a special, very close friendship since preschool. They just click and it's so sweet. K and 1st they were not in the same classroom and while it would have made things easier, I was kind of glad. My daughter did have to make some other friends. Now they're in the same class and it's fine but I know it also keeps my daughter from branching out. Same time, my other daughter was always more of a social butterfly but is stuck on her best friend this year and it worries me a bit. But I know this is how things go and it's all part of growing up. Sometimes as moms we have to help a bit though. So the answer depends a bit on your daughter but I don't think you're on the wrong track. Also, would your daughter know if you split them up? If so, then I wouldn't do it. That'd be so hard for her to understand.

I would let them be together as long as they can.

I have to agree with you. Talk to the guidance counselor. Tell her your feelings about it. Meanwhile, get your daughter into some outside group activities, if she isn't already in some.

I agree with you. Both of the girls are going to have to learn to be apart. It'll be much easier if you start the process now, while they can still see eachother on the playground and so forth. It's time for both of them to learn to make new friends, and the other little girl will benefit from that skill when she goes to the new school.

If it ain't broke, don't fix it! They are happy. Let them be. I assume your daughter is involved I an activity after school with other kids if she is not and it will make you feel better, sign her up for something

However, it is really special to have a friendship like theirs.

As long as they are on the same level and there is no educational reason not to do so, I would probably ask if they might be in 3rd together. Either way will be fine. That said, the parents recognize that there will be a time to part and that both girls need to be able to find new friendships. I would look for opportunities to visit or skype or otherwise keep in touch, but not worry too much if it fades.

I've always taken the "let the chips fall where they may" philosophy with regard to class assignment. And frankly, I'm surprised that this many parents orchestrate it.
I know due to this girls anxiety issues, it might be good for her to have your daughter to count on. Just make sure your daughter forges a wide social circle.

I wouldn't take the last year the girls get together away. I would start to have other kids over for play dates or other activities, so your child can make new friends and her little friend can get some different exposure as well.

Just let the school assign them however they'll be assigned. Your daughter should be learning how to make additional friends anyway. At the current age very rarely is any one student friends with only one person. Even best friends have other friends and play with other people.

And not for nothing, but I think intentionally separating the girls a year earlier than the planned move is more micromanaging rather than protective. You don't need to protect your daughter from a friendship where you know the other little girl is moving. How about when the time comes during that third grade year, you help transition your daughter into thinking about how to have a long distance friendship with her friend?

I know that girls often have "best friends" at this age, and that they primarily play with each other, but does your daughter not EVER play with anyone else?
I think I would let the teachers/school decide about class placement, and in the mean time I'd encourage my daughter to reach out to other girls. Get her involved in activities outside of school (scouts, sports, dance, etc.) so she's meeting and socializing with a wider circle. Encourage her to invite other classmates over for play dates, not just her BF.

Why not just let it be and see what the school does with them. Perhaps the school will place the girls in the class that is best for them.

I totally get it, my second grader has been in the same class with her besty since K too. They see each other every day. The figure skate together on Saturday's and see each other at Sunday mass as well. The dad also brings the girls to my daughter's games some times.

It is tough. When they leave, the hug each other like they won't see each other for a year. She says this is her best friend in the whole world. Her friend is petite and my daughter is tall, so in kindergarten, she used to carry her friend on her hip. As cute as it was, I taught them boundaries and always tell them we don't pick up our friends.

You may have to start preparing your daughter that sometimes out friendships are out of our control and families have to move. Tell her about your friendships and separations.