Have You Ever Requested Your Child to Be in the Same Class with His/her Friend??

Hi,

I am a teacher...and if you say it just they way you did they may be willing. And just add on I just really want to see my daughter to continue to thrive socially-emotionally and what is best for her. They only thing they can do is say no:)

L.

Updated

Hi,

I am a teacher...and if you say it just they way you did they may be willing. And just add on I just really want to see my daughter to continue to thrive socially-emotionally and what is best for her. They only thing they can do is say no:)

L.

Our elementary school is very thoughtful about the placement of students.
They look at each individual child as a student and as a person. They take into consideration the personality and teaching style of the teachers, then they try to make up a really good mixture of children.

We also have a very shy child. I like to say I think whole goal in life is to go unnoticed.

When I saw her first grade list, I was really upset because she was the ONLY child that had been in a particular kindergarten class from the year before! She had a very good friend from the previous year and she was not in the class.

I decided to keep an eye out for how our daughter reacted to this class. The first few weeks, every once in a while she would mention she did not have her friend in the class. I was getting really nervous that our daughter was not happy.

Then I had a conversation with the teacher and discovered our daughter actually had 2 other girls that she was sitting with and playing with during recess. At the beginning of the 3rd week a new student was moved into that class and these 3 girls took the new girl under their wings and all became very good friends.

I also found out the teacher had been an only child who was extremely shy as a child! Her passion was reading and she had a great sense of humor. She was a perfect match for our daughter! I learned then that the school and the teachers knew what they were doing and I needed to trust them.

Ended up that the first grade teacher said it was her all time very favorite class she ever taught! We even had a reunion of that 1st grade class in honor of the teacher one year, the kids were about to be seniors in high school. They almost all showed up!

Try to stay strong and let your child have experiences even though there are times, she may be nervous or anxious. Be encouraging that she is a good person and will make friends. She will gain confidence as she discovers she can do things on her own, even when in the beginning she was worried about it.

This is the hardest part of parenting. We keep saying, "well they are so young". Yes they are but they will not be forever. Your child was nervous about walking, but you did not stop encouraging her. She was afraid to ride a bike, but you do hold her back.. This is the same thing but even more important it is her self confidence. She is a strong child, she just has not realized it yet. Be there to encourage her and support her.

I am sending you strength.

Hi A.--I don't see what harm it would do to request it. It can't hurt to try! If they cannot do this, don't be alarmed. Your daughter will find someone to connect with. I was extremely shy when I was younger (still am to a certain extent) and was always terrified to enter into a new school year. It never failed though, I did always make a friend or even sometimes a few friends over the course of a school year. I would always feel left out during the first couple of weeks but then I'd see another little girl that was also just as shy and end up bonding with her. Good luck to you and your daughter!

I agree with Laurie. The most important thing is that your child get the best matched *teacher* for her needs. I would not make a request to the school for her to be with a certain friend. Your daughter's 2nd grade teacher probably had good reasons for getting her placed in the class she did. Plus sometimes principals may honor that buddy request, but then you may get a not-so-great teacher, the principal thinking since the peer thing was your top concern, you wouldn't be looking so much at the quality/most sought after teacher, like other parents surely do, and make their requests accordingly. It's important for our kids to learn to play the hand their dealt with groups of classmates. She can STILL have playdates, and join activities together with this special friend. If she isn't in her class, it will take her out of her comfort zone at first, but I think it opens up the doors for her to find more friends. At my kids school, the kids in the same grade all have lunch and recess together, so even if they aren't in class with their friends, they get to be with them at the most "social" time of their day. I would at least call your school and find out one way or the other so you can prepare your daughter accordingly. Good luck!

I have a son with Aspergers so every year at the end of one school year we have a 504 meeting and I always provide the principal with a list of a few students that we would like to possibly see in my son's class the next year. She has always accomodated our requests.

In your email, acknowledge how busy she must be and that you are sorry for making this request at the last minute. Keep it simple and short and just state that due to your daughters shyness you would appreciate it if it would be possible for so-and-so to be in your daughters class this year. Close by saying that if it is not possible you understand and that you appreciate her time.

Good luck,
K.

It never hurts to ask. The flip side of them not being in the same class though, may cause her to reach out to other children, if they are together in the same class, he friendship security will start and stop with this one little girl. If she ever moves then what? one of the best ways to help your daughter make friends is throw a back to school party, let her invite 5 boys and 5 girls kids having fun together is the best way to build friendships. I'm 53 and I still have my friendships from elementry all the way through high school. Hope this helps. J.

Most schools set up their class lists in the Spring of the previous school year. This is done so that the teachers have input on who works well together or who should not be in the same room together. Schools work really hard to make sure that there are an equal number of girls and boys, academically strong and weak students, etc... Hopefully, your daughter's previous teacher took notice of this special friendship. (We have all seen the class makeup go hay wire when students in the summer transfer in and there is no info on how to 'balance' the class with them)

I don't think it hurts to ask the principal especially if you start your email with the information you provided in your question. It will be important for him/her to see that you are not making this request lightly and that it is made out of a very real concern.

Good luck. I hope that this has just naturally happened already for you and that your daughter has a great school year!

tell the principal how your daughter doesnt make friends easily and how this little girl has become her one really good friend.. see what the principal will say.. she may help you out.. or she may not... good luck.. it can't hurt.. i did the opposite.. i asked that my son not be with his best friend.. as i wanted him to meet others.. i asked once in kindergarten.. and he was never with this friend until 8th grade:( but they got along so well outside school so it was ok.. and now my son is entering 9th grade and has soooo many friends

I would not request that your child be put with another child. At that age children change friends very easily. They will probably be together at lunch and recess. Make an effort to have play dates each week. What you should do is make sure the principal is aware of how shy your daughter is and I used to write a note to my sons teachers at the beginning of each year telling them a little about my children. It helped to let them know what to look for, ex. my oldest is very smart and learned very quickly, keeping him occupied was a problem for some of his teachers, the youngest was very shy and at times needed to be pushed to participate. teachers found these notes very helpful. Good luck, you are probably a lot more worried about it than she is.

Yes, I just did this for the exact same reasons. My daughter is very shy and became very close with a girl in her preschool class. We even became very close with her family and have hung a lot this summer.
Anyway, I requested this at the end of her preschool year, the first of June. The principal told me it was too late and that classes were already formed. That the request needed to be put in before spring break. But, then, right before her preschool graduation program was supposed to start they called me down to tell me that since I was a new parent and didn't know they did honor the request but not to share this with any other parent as they can't accommodate all parents this late.

So its highly likely that they have already set classrooms. However, I think its worth a shot, if anything, you can ask to see if maybe by chance she is already in the class with the friend.

I have never asked that my kids be in the same class but have asked that they make sure my son and "X" kid were in different classes lol. After 3 years of them scrapping and being in trouble a lot at 4th grade I went in and talked to the principal and asked that they please be put in separate classes. Your daughter will make more friends and she will still see the other little girl on the playground etc.

My mom and my friends mom made sure that we were in the same class growing up (from 1st - 3rd). It was great! =)

I would like to know how you dealt with this, as my daughter was placed in a class without any of her good friends (our class list for Fall came out last week). She is entering 4th grade and burst out crying when she saw the list. All of her friends got the teacher she wanted. It's crazy that out of her group of 6 or 7 good friends, that nobody is in her class. I did email the principal but havent heard back yet. I'm not sure if I should try and switch her b/c I like the teacher (my son had her last year), and I'm wondering if I should just let her deal b/c I kknow it will be ok. She is just inconsolable over it. It's going to be a long summer!!!

Yes, go for it ask. I know parents that have done it because their kids were new to the school and they wanted them to stay together one more year. It was honored. We also did it and our request was honored.

I bet the teacher has already made arrangements for this kiddo. I had a very shy student this year and I requested she be put with a friend the next year. Do whats right for your child.

Sure, ask. Principals get all kinds of requests.