Should I Travel to Spain with or Without My 8MO Daughter, or Not Even Go at All?

J., Sorry for the late reply (and you may have already made your decision by now), but I wanted to reply because my husband and I just returned from 2wks in Spain with our 1yr old. Sure, traveling with a baby/toddler means it can't be a carefree vacation for the two of you, but we had absolutely no regrets about taking him with us. We had a pretty ambitious and aggressive itinerary, but babies are pretty adaptable, and our son was wide-eyed with each new site and experience. As others have said, even if you leave your daughter home, it will not impact her development in any way. You have to do what's best for you and will make the trip enjoyable for you, too. If you're going to be anxious and worried the whole time without her, then bring the baby. Since you and your husband are flying separately, that air travel portion will be more challenging if you're traveling alone (baggage, long flight, etc.)

The only thing you can do wrong at this point is feel guilty about your decision. Some people travel easily with their children, others need a break. It doesn't make any one person a better parent! There is something to be said for reconnecting with your husband. Your daughter will be 100% fine developmentally. It is hogwash to assume that just by taking a vacation you could permanently damage a baby. I agree, though, with the other poster. If your mother is uncomfortable with you leaving her, leave her with your husbands mother. Your daughter should feel welcome and be shown a fabulous week with Gramma! Have Fun.

I think you should bring her to Spain. I have friends who have taken their babies to Ireland on planes and have had no problem. Their babies slept the whole time. Talk to your pediatrician about it! (:

I had the same anxiety when my husband and I went to London/Paris last fall when my daughter was about 5 months old. We, too, did the staggered travel and had both of the grandmas share responsibiltiy for the baby for the 5 nights we were gone. It worked wonderfully and was time away that both of us needed.

In regards to an emergency, I listed all doctor/hospital numbers and directions and also had a medical authorization form completed with a copy of our insurance card in the event anything occurred while we were gone.

We left my daughter for 5 days around 9 months, in the middle of "stranger anxiety." According to my parents, everyone had a blast while I was gone. No unexplained tears, no fussiness, just a happy baby. Perhaps the best "side effect" of leaving her at that age was the trust she developed in my parents. She is now 2 and happily trots off for sleepovers at grandma's house with a hug, a kiss, and a wave.

It will not permanently harm your daughter to leave her. Her grandma is not a stranger. If your mom doesn't think she should be left, leave the baby with your husband's mom. The baby will probably enjoy 4 days with grandma much more than 20 hours on an germ filled airplane. Try to think of it as an opportunity for your daughter to spend quality time with her grandmas and with your husband, rather than as time you are missing. Kids are quite resilient and flexible - give her more credit.

I say do what you feel the most comfortable with. If you do not want to leave her that long then go with her. At this age, children are still very flexible, even those with routines and they are more in tune with the time change that they can generally adapt more quickly to the time change.

7 days of no mommy will not adversely effect her, but may adversely effect her routine, if you have one, depending on how closely grandma and grandpa follow it.

If I were in your shoes, I would bring her. The Spanish are very family oriented and you will see lots of babes out & about. Just bring extra care for her eczema and possibly bring her own food if you're that concerned.

Please, Please, Please, do not listen to anyone that is telling you that this will have a developmental impact on your daughter. She will never remember this and will not be impacted at all. I am a teacher and was an early childhood development major and know for a fact that this will not traumatize your daughter in any way. This will not have even a tiny miniscule drop of an impact in your bonding or your daughter's trust in you. I do agree that you will have a terrible time if you do not let go. If you cannot trust anyone and feel that this is a bad idea then you will not enjoy your trip.
Some people are able to leave their children and others are not able too. It does not make you better or worse of a parent either way. I do agree that waiting till your children are two, three, and even older to leave them even for a few days can be rough on a marriage. You need that reconnection time to enjoy each other without children in tow, especially if your husband is asking for a chance to have some alone time. In the end, you will have to choose what makes you feel good. Just remember that she will be fine when you get back, it is healthy to miss her, but try to remember that your husband is a big important piece of your life too

My husband and I traveled to Italy for his sister's wedding when our youngest son was 8 months old. We were gone for ten days and my mom stayed with the kids at my house. There was not even the shadow of an issue. The kids absolutely love my mom and their bond with grandma grew even stronger during this time away. I think one of the hardest parts of being a mom is learning that you cannot control every second of your child's life and that you cannot protect them from harm completely. But you are fallible, just like your mom, and the sad truth is that harm can come to your child whether you are there or not. Harm can also come (and maybe more easily) if you are traveling with your baby to a strange country far away from her doctors and her familiar environment. Of course you have to do what is right for you and your family, but for me, the right thing to do was spend some much needed time re-connecting with my husband and letting my son learn that his mommy was not the center of the universe and there are many people in his life whom he can love and trust. As long as you are comfortable that your daughter's grandparents can handle any issues that might arise relating to the eczema, etc., I believe there is nothing to stop you from going to Spain. Good luck with your decision.

Hi J.,

I know exactly how you feel, it's a hard call and I wish you luck in making your decision. What I can tell you is we traveled to Europe with our daughter when she was 8 months and it went just fine. You have to be prepared and organized and bring everything you might need, but if you're prepared and don't expect it to be the typical care free vacation, you'll be just fine.

Good luck!
C.

If it were me I'd ask my daughter's pediatrician about any developmental impacts.

We traveled with our 7 month old abroad and loved it but we took my mom with us. That way my husband and I got the occasional evening out by ourselves.

Normally I would say "Go, have fun, enjoy yourselves!" I sincerely believe 7 days in the life of an eight month old doesn't mean anything, will do no permanent harm, and could actually be good for her for lots of reasons.

BUT, if it's your Mom who has the problem with you leaving then there's no way in good conscience you can leave her with your Mom. Your Mom, consciously or unconsciously, may be trying to tell you she's not up for the challenge. And she might have some misgivings about the other caretaker. So deciding against the caretaker's wishes to leave her there is a terrible idea.

I do however think you should absolutely take your daughter to Spain. What an amazing trip for you as a family! I think all children, reagrdless of age, should be able to experience anything and everything cultural that they possibly can. This is a tremendous opportunity for you to expose your baby to new and exciting stimuli. Babies are usuallly pretty flexible and 8 months is still a fairly easy age for travel. Plus you'll get lots of positive attention in Europe.

As for your husband wanting a vacation from his new baby. Well, I kind of hate to say it, but it sounds as though he's not exactly accepted the idea of being a parent just yet and all that means in terms of compromise and sacrifice. If he needs breaks from time to time then you send him off with his sister on a big day trip and you walk the baby around a museum in a stroller. There are a zillion parks and places to walk in Spain and you can have a lovely time just you and your daughter. And if he wants to stay out late and go out at night then he can do that with his sister. Or perhaps she can line up a friend to baby-sit so you can go out too.

Relax your routines and go with the flow. By all means do NOT give up such an exciting adventure for all of you. And take lots of pictures. There's nothing so special as an adult than looking through an album and thinking, "Wow, my parents took me all the way to Spain when I was just a baby."

Have a great trip!

E.
Evanston

i think travelling to spain with her will make YOU enjoy your trip more. in the end, if your husband wants a vacation, maybe he should go by himself. i agree with your mom, but even if it doesn't premanently impact your daughter's personality, it will certainly for a period of time in the near future. 7-9 months is definitely a time of stranger anxiety and re-testing of mom/dad to make sure that you are there whenever baby needs you.
also, 7 days may not be that long for us, as adults, but it is an eternity to an 8 month old.
just my thoughts.

I'm with you..., I would either take her with me, or stay home, but that's how I have been with all four of my children! Children travel well, and you'll have more fun with her, even if your husband is trying to vacation away from her!

Hi-
My husband and I just took a week vacation to Hawaii and left my daughter (1 year old) with my parents and it was just great. She didn't miss us at all and my husband and I got a much need break and a chance to reconnect. However, I stressed myself out so much before we left. We live 4 hours by plane away from my parents and as much as we see them which is often, I was really worried that because of her recent separation anxiety bouts that she was going to freak out. Well all that worry was for nothing. They had so much fun and she never even cried for me. I say go to Spain and have a great time! Sleep in and enjoy your husband! Tell your mother and mother in law to send text/picture messages often.

Well, personally, I could not leave my son with someone else for even one night, let along a week while I was out of the country. I don't think, however, that leaving her with your mom would be detrimental to her development at all. I'm assuming, of course, that she knows her grandmother well & has already spent lots of time in her care. If not, I definitely would not leave her for that length of time. Lots of parents do though. If that's what you want to do, you shouldn't let your mother make you feel guilty about your decision. Your daughter will be fine in her care.

I've never wanted a "vacation away" from my son, although my husband's family cannot understand why we don't ship our son off to their house for weekends... He's only 3 and I feel that that's way too young. I also work full time & feel like I'm already away from him enough. It's very important to me that we spend our remaining time off together as a family. Why don't you just take your daughter with you on the trip? It would be very exciting to tell her about when she gets older.