Should I Leave My 3 Year Old for 10 Days?

There are millions of mothers who work. They often have to travel to keep their job. There isn't any reason you shouldn't go to do this trip. If it is something that is paid for but you just choose to not go that seems wasteful and silly.

I'd go in a heart beat. I think you will find that it won't even bother kiddo.

I do suggest you leave him overnight a bunch between now and then though. SO it's not such a shock to him. Leave him with grandma overnight one time. Then another time leave him for the whole weekend. You can get him used to you not being there all day and at night so he'll do the 10 days much easier.

It's the kind of opportunity that you won't get again. Do it. In a year, he won't even remember that you were gone. But you will always remember the trip.

I was all ready to say no way, until I read the reason why you were going to be gone. And now the answer is YES!! That is an amazing opportunity and you should not miss it. I know it is so hard to leave a child, but you have a safe place for him to go. Really, a trip like this may never happen again. Go for it!

Go, go, go. This is a great opportunity to spend some time in Europe without the extra expense a trip like this would normally incur, and it will give you valuable experience for your degree program. Your son will be fine, really!

Take it from another single mom with a career....GO. He is three and will be fine with your mom. Whether you know it or not, you probably really need an adult only trip at this point. One which furthers your academic career, and I assume will show your employers that you can and will travel if need be as well and is already paid for and part of the MBA experience should not be missed. Although of course I love my child (5 yr DD) and I know you do too, getting away to grow as a separate person and just freaking think about longer term things every once in a while has really made me a much better mom and indeed a much better business person as well. GO!

Kids benefit from learning that there are others in their families who love and care for them. It can actually help them if they can be independent and bond with Grandma or someone else they know well. The important thing is that you maintain as much of his routine with the other caregiver. Can your mother stay at your house so your child will have his own bed, toys, routine, surroundings?

With today's technology (Face Time, Skype), you can do a lot of face-to-face talking too. Of course, you will miss the hugs and snuggling but kids survive this if the parent is confident and if good preparation is done.

So the deciding factor is, will you gain a lot from this trip in terms of academics or an addition to your resume? Do you, as a single mom, just need a damn break now and then to restore yourself? That's worth a lot.

ETA to the poster who said not to go because there are refugees invading Europe...SERIOUSLY??? Good God. Get educated. Germany is far more humanitarian than the US right now, and none of these people on rubber boats or rickety buses is gunning for American MBA students, or anyone else.

Please go. 10 days out of your 3 year's life is so small, compared to what you'll gain by taking this trip. It will ALSO look good on your resume - unlike a project...

I go every year to Europe with students. I left my youngest when she was 8 months and had to carry a hand pump with me so I could keep up my milk supply. I have gone every year since. Both of my girls know that mom loves to travel, goes for 10 days and comes back. This feeds my soul and shows them there is a whole world out there. I miss them like crazy, but skype and send post-cards. I know they are safe and happy. If you would like the experience and have childcare you should go! He will see his mama as a world traveler and adventurer. As to safety issues, I have never felt unsafe. I stay in safe areas and am probably at more risk of violence in my high school classroom!

If your son is accustomed to Grandma's house and Grandma, I don't get the problem. You know he'd be safe with someone he loves.

Did you know about this when you started the program?

I don't see how it can scar him did life to be away from you for 10 days. Sounds like you are the one attached to him. A break might do both of you some good.

You can't stop living your life and fulfilling obligations because you have a child. Use it as a teaching moment. You'll both be fine.

As for the cost... I hope you understand everything correctly. I've never heard of a trip being included in tuition at 100%. That's not how it works at all of the colleges I am familiar with. Once you clarify the cost and spending money, then figure out if you can swing it financially without going in debt.

I know you love your boy but you don't need to be attached at the hip 24/7.

Good luck.

it's included in the cost of tuition. Go.
Your son is in a safe place, right?
You trust your mom to care for him, right?
If the answers are yes? Then go. Stop letting Mommy guilt keep you from living your life too...it's OKAY to do something for yourself and this is for school too.

Go.

If you completely trust your mother to care for your son while you are gone, it could be a tremendous opportunity for you.

Before you decide, can you talk with past students from the program and find out what they say and whether they believe this trip had a positive impact on their careers? If so, and I were in this situation, I would choose to go.

It is definitely hard to leave our children when they are so small, but 10 days will go so fast, and you'll be back home before you know it. There could be many benefits to this trip, perhaps even important networking opportunities. You're working on your MBA, not just for yourself and your career, but for the overall betterment of your family. If you look at it that way,
a 10 day international trip is a good investment toward that end.

Your son will be fine. My husband travels internationally all the time (and has since all of the kids were young), and it's been fun for our children to learn about other countries and continents from his travels. It's made them very adventurous travelers themselves!

Well, you don't seem concerned about the cost, so I'll assume (as your question states) that this is about leaving your child with Grandma. Does he know her well? Used to her house/having her at your house?
If so, I'd go for it!

Great opportunity. I would absolutely go. In a year or two he won't even remember your being gone.

Sounds like a great opportunity. He will be fine. I would go. Don't want to regret not going.

I would do it. 10 days is not very long in the big scheme of things. Sure, you both will miss each other a lot, but before you know it you will be home again and will have a sweet reunion. We left for 7 days when my youngest was 2 and it was hard for me. I had a hard time deciding to go. But she had a great time with grandma and grandpa and of course does not even remember it now.

If your mom is a good caretaker, then yes, go on the trip. I'm pretty sure when I'm a grandma that I will be able to take care of my grandkids for 10 days.

If it was me, I would do it. The trip will be an amazing experience, culturally, educationally, and socially. I think it would be a valuable thing to do. With options like skype and facetime, you can still find opportunities to check in with your son daily. You can even call at bedtime and read him a story (though it may mean waking up in the middle of the night to do it), or record a video reading to him that your mom can play. He will love his time with grandma and will be thrilled to see you when you come back.

I know it's hard to leave him, but try not to let it hold you back. Opportunities like this don't come around every day and you may regret it if you pass it up.

Well you don't mention a few considerations.

First off, as others have mentioned - cost. How much will this cost you? To me, that would be a huge consideration. Is your work paying for it? I had a friend who did the trip to Europe as part of her MBA (she was single and had no kids) - and our company helped fund it most of it. She didn't really make any connections so much as she was able to put it on her resume and it was great experience.

As for leaving your son - that's your personal decision. My sister in law was able to leave her kids with my mom as early as a few months old because she had a huge career and it was just expected of her to travel right away. In some ways it was easier - there was no choice.

I left my kids to travel for work when they were about that age. For about 10 days. I was not overseas and could get back in a hurry if needs be (which was a consideration for me). I was leaving them in their own home with my husband though, and there was very little disruption to their lives. They went to daycare part time and were with my husband the rest of the time. Again, I had no choice. It was part of my job. I only did that one long trip. The rest were 2 nights tops.

I'd also want to be sure your mother can handle ten days. Some are able, some not so much. If you're comfortable and know you won't worry about her being exhausted and him being ok, then that would make it easier than if you have your concerns.

I'm not sure I've answered anything really - but those would be the factors I would consider.

Good luck :) Let us know what you decide.

Sounds like an amazing opportunity, and you should take it. Your son will be fine and he and your mom will have fun. You can always facetime every night to check in.

I will answer this question as an academic who has led study-abroad programs AND as a parent who has left her children in the care of my in-laws in an somewhat remote African village with no phone connection for a month at a time since they were toddlers... ABSOLUTELY go! There's a reason why your program makes the trip the 'norm' and the project an option (but not the preferred one). Guaranteed, you will learn more about business in Germany and France from being there than from doing a project here. If the cost of the trip is covered through tuition and you trust your mother to take care of your child well, there is every reason to go. Yes, it tugged at my heart to leave my kids for 4 weeks, however they gained so much from spending time with other relatives, both in getting some closeness to them and in gaining independence. Now, at ages 10 and 13, I see how well my kids handle themselves and new situations and I am certain that we did the right thing. About security concerns, you will be absolutely fine. The program directors know the ropes and work with local staff who know the current lay of the land--they're not going to send you into questionable situations. There also are simply far fewer crime issues in Europe than in the US, even now. Go and have a wonderful time!

Well clearly if you can afford to go and pay cash for it, then go. If it's going to add to student debt, well, then that would just be stupid (sorry but it would be.)
As far as your son goes, if he loves and knows his grandmother well and you fully trust her then that's not even an issue. Parents travel for business and deployment all the time.

10 days is a long time and Germany and France are far away. Not to mention what's going on over there. Just my opinion. Can you afford it without it impacting your life. Do you have that kind of extra money sitting in the bank?

Some people can and do - but I couldn't do it.
I waited 36 yrs to become a mother and my 3 yr old was a pretty amazing experience.
How could I enjoy a trip if my heart and mind was always thinking about my child while I was gone?
I did the traveling I wanted to do before getting pregnant.
Staying with our son was no sacrifice or hardship.

I took a job almost 6 years ago that came with international travel. The first trip was to Egypt - I didn't go because I started the week before and didn't have the appropriate passport. The next trip was to Japan for 2 weeks. Again, I didn't go because I was already on leave for one week of that and couldn't change those plans. The next time I was offered international travel it was to Canada. I went! YAY! I LOVED it. Most likely because it was a quick trip (Monday-Wednesday) and I could FaceTime with the kiddo's and my husband because the time zone didn't change.

Sometimes I regret not going on the other trips though - mainly the Japan one. I was well versed in the program by then and would have rocked the meeting...but I couldn't miss the family even that was planned. So now I don't turn down trips. I am actually pushing to make the trip to Spain on my current team...we'll see!

Other than for vacation why do you want to go? I really do not understand. I was a single mom who worked full time when I went to college. I would not in a million years blow through all of my ETO so I can leave my kids and go on a vacation for credit. I could not in a million years spend 5k to 10k when I was supporting my kids.

So to me this isn't an issue of going on vacation without your kid, it is a risky waste of money and vacation time from work that isn't going to enhance your education one bit. Do the project, save your money, go to Europe with your child after you graduate.

Mamazita brings up a very good point, if this is adding to your student loans then decline.

I would go in a heartbeat. You will not get this opportunity again to learn how things work first hand in Germany and France. You will also learn how the world works outside of USA. Your mom has offered to care for your child while you are gone --- go!

This will be a good time for a break from your child and for you to expand your knowledge and career. Since the cost is already included in the tuition do it. Don't think about it do it. Be an adult for 10 days and enjoy the sights and sounds and the education. You are a woman, a wife and a mother in that order. So now it is time for you to be the woman for 10 days. Besides when you get back you will have an appreciation of what you have done and seen.

the other S.

How much is this going to cost? If you're a single mom I would think the cost alone would be a deal breaker. It would be a great experience but I would skip it and do it with your son when you could better afford it.

I would love to go to Europe, but I wouldn't go anytime soon. Too much crime happening lately (rapes, etc.) with the (invasion) influx of refugees in Germany and other parts of Europe.

If it were me, when I think back to when my daughter was that age, I probably wouldn't leave her for that amount of time. But, that doesn't mean you shouldn't. It probably depends on how close he is to your mother and his basic personality. Does he have separation anxiety? Does he feel totally comfortable with his grandma?

Three is a really attached age. I couldn't do it.

if it were me i would go. if it were my dh he would not. but i have been a sahm since my 5 yr old was born and have spent every day and night with my kids and would love the getaway to recharge my batteries.