Leaving Baby for a Week...Is That Okay?

Updated on June 19, 2012
D.R. asks from Utica, MI
27 answers

Hello,

My husband's boss just bought a huge condo in Miami and is offering to let us stay there for a week in July. I have never been to Florida and I am sooooo excited about this. At the time of our trip, our son will be 23 months old and our daughter will be just 3 months old. The thing is, we are planning to leave our daughter behind with Grandma & Grandpa because she really isn't supposed to be in the sun yet. While in Florida, we will (obviously?) be spending a lot of time outside, and we may even try to go to Disney World for a day (at least we think so...we actually have no idea how long of a drive it would be, so we are not sure on that one yet.) I just don't feel comfortable bringing my daughter on a vacation like this, and if we did bring her, I would feel pretty limited to what we could do.

My question is: Am I a bad mom for leaving my daughter for a week? Should I even be considering this? Is this going to have any sort of impact on her? I'm sure she will be fine, but I can't help but fear she will completely forget about me! Has anyone else left their children behind at this young age (not out of necessity, but for pure fun)? Or am I the only woman who would consider leaving their 3 month old for a week? My mother-in-law keeps saying my daughter will be fine, and I'm sure she will be, but then again, Grandma is really looking forward to an un-interrupted week with her first and only granddaughter! Can anyone make me feel better about this? Or should we pass on this trip altogether until my daughter is old enough to make the trip with us?

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.R.

answers from Detroit on

I can see how this would be a hard decision to make.

How are Grandma & Grandpa? Are they able to handle your daughter for a week? I would leave my baby (and I have for three nights, 4 days with G&G for pure fun) if you know they are capable of handling your little one. And will they be staying at your house. Which I think will make it a lot easier.

Could G&G go with you and stay at a hotel close by and be babysitters on your trip?
What if they came down halfway thru the week to cut down on the cost? That way you and your husband can have alone time and family time.

Taking a 3 month old to Florida just doesn’t sound like much fun. And not very relaxing for anyone!

I don’t think you will be a bad mother for leaving your daughter with G&G – no bond will be lost in that one week.

I know my mother-in-law would love to have my daughter for a week. I think she'd move in if we let her!

Plus how nice for them to spend time with her - their first and only granddaughter. That will be a nice bond for them.

Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.R.

answers from Detroit on

you know what's best for your child, if you feel comfortable leaving her with grandma and grandpa i'm sure she will be fine. Also, the drive from Miami to Disney is about 4 - 6 hours. If you were gonna go you should probably make it an overnight trip.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.B.

answers from Detroit on

You are not a bad mom. Call her and have your mom put her ear to the phone and talk to her. I had fears of leaving my son and it did not impact him at all. The time she will be able to spend with her grandma would be great! For her and your mom.

We flew to Orlando in May and drove to my husband's uncle's house in Miami--its about a three and a half hour drive on the turnpike.

Enjoy yourself. It will do you good as well!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.S.

answers from Detroit on

NO. Have a great time and just leave the grandparents directions and phones # if anything arises.
Have a good time. Miami to Orlando i wanna say is 4-5hrs or less. Map it and check it. If you trust who you are leaving her with and they can handle the waking up if she wakes up in the middle of the night then have a blast. Ans please do not listen to Erika or Samantha C. Themr telling you to not go is just amazing. The bringing the grandparents half way down the trip aint a bad idea then you and your hubby can do somethings too way to go lola on that idea. You go, you do not know the next time you will be able to do this. Have some fun with your other child alone. He or She will love one on one Mommy time.
Good luck and go for it

C. S.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.T.

answers from Allentown on

Not sure why anyone would want to leave a newborn simply to go on vacation for any length of time. It's selfish, period. Maybe even horrible parenting. Probably should have thought about taking a vacation before getting pregnant. And if it's an oops then I guess you're just SOL.Guess you'll be "pretty limited to what you can do" for a while. Wow.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.A.

answers from Lansing on

YES it is OK pack their bags and ship them to grandma. Get away and enjoy your self you deserve it. Of course you will miss them and worry, but try to have fun and relax. Enjoy yourself and get to know your husband again Have fun.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.T.

answers from Detroit on

You shouldn't feel guilty. You are leaving your daughter with grandma who will take VERY good care of her and you are taking a probably well needed break with your husband and son. You will come back a well rested, happy mom which will be good for everyone. Enjoy yourself and call you daughter while you are gone and have your mom hold up the phone for her and you can tell her how much you love here and that you will be back soon. :)

Enjoy and don't feel guilty

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.C.

answers from Detroit on

I wouldn't leave the baby, Ithink 3 months is too young, my daughter is 2 1/2 and I would just now be able to part with her for about that amount of time for a vacation of course she's old enough we would take her now. but it's YOUR child and certainly your decision if your comfortable with it that's all that matters, don't let that make you feel like a bad mom, you care enough to ask for advice.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.R.

answers from Lansing on

I left my daughter for a week when she was 9 months old and she was not happy when we got back. I was breastfeeding and she refused to breastfeed for a day and then she finally started up again. At 3 months it may not be a big deal, but I would also not hesitate to take her on vacation either. We are planning to go to Ft. Lauderdale in February and at that time I will have a 7 week old and we will be taking it and our daughter with us. I wouldn't feel so guilty about it if you leave her or take her, she will be fine either way and the impact of either decision will not affect her in the long run.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

H.H.

answers from Las Vegas on

Wow! Everybody seems to be all for it.
I am a stay at home mom also. I can understand that sometimes we all need a break.
The first time I left my daughter overnight, she was 9 months old (now six)And it was for 2 nights. I was so excited to spend time with just my hubby and relax, stay up late and sleep in etc.... I thought about my daughter the entire time, had a hard time relaxing , couldnt wait to get home to her and hug and kiss on her. I missed her sooooo much!! After that experience, I have learned that 1 night away is just right , for me.
Your daughter will be just fine, a week away from you. But will you be fine a week away from her?
Here is a suggestion, what do you think of taking Grandma with you on the trip. That way, you will still be in the sun having fun, and be able to come home to your daughter as well. Just a thought. Enjoy your vacation! Disney is a blast!!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.W.

answers from Jackson on

personally I wouldn't I'd be afraid it would destroy our bond. She has no way of knowing/understanding where Mommy went. Suddenly she's with Gramma and Mommy and Daddy are gone.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.M.

answers from Saginaw on

Oh Honey, u & her will be fine. Take up the oportunity if u have it. Grandma will take good care of u & she will not forget u at all. u should do it now instead of when she is a little older, it will make it worse then. Things will be fine & u will miss her but u will be ok. She will be ok. Take this trip & have fun, u r right u would be very limited if u took her. I hope u have a great time & u r NOT a bad mother at all. I would never even consider that act as being a bad mom. U need time too. Even though u have your 23 month old u will still have fun & this will give him some one on one time w/ u & your hubby. Your oldest will enjoy this very much, i am sure. Have a great time & relax things will be ok. Good luck w/ ya.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.I.

answers from Lansing on

hi D.
i think it all up to you my youngest is 27 mo and i could not imagin being away from her a night let alone a week i am sure grandma would take care of her just fine but i think you would miss her weigh to much to the point you might be home sick she would be fine to go with you sun screen and light clothes and a light hat well good luck and have fun

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.B.

answers from Detroit on

Hi D.! I know how this feels. But honestly, its good for them to learn to be seperated early on. When my son was 3 mos we started going to weekend trips here and there, and he stayed w/my in-laws. He's 3 now and loves going to sleep overs everyonce in awhile w/friends. Some of his friends, however, won't be out of their parents sight for more than a minute. Those kids have never been seperated, even for a night. Take your trip, and try to enjoy yourself! It might be hard the first couple of nights, but you & your baby will be fine! ; )

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.S.

answers from Detroit on

I don't think you have a thing to worry about. I am leaving all 4 of my kids for 3 days mid-July and can't wait. They are older 12, 5, 3 and 2. As long as you know G&G can handle the baby don't worry other wise you'll end up like me...I haven't had a single night away from kids since my 5 year old was born.
Another option is to take G&G(or just one of them) along if there is room in the condo(you said it is huge) or put them up in a hotel.
If you really are worried about leaving her and they can't go along you could always hire a nanny while you are there. Here is a place to find one
http://www.4nanny.com/agency_directory/florida.htm
It looks like there are a few agencies in the Miami area that do temp. work either by the week or the hour. Though, it would probably be less expensive to take at least Grandma. Good Luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

E.S.

answers from Grand Rapids on

Hi D....

This is such a good issue for mom's to discuss. We all feel tied down so often with our little ones. I have a 4 year old and a 7 month old. When my daughter was little we took her to Florida and I brought along my youngest sister to be the babysitter because I could not fathom leaving the baby behind. Now with 2 of them, I don't feel the same way. Your littl girl is not going to lose any type of bond with you. She's yours, and you're hers. She may have a rough couple days, but if she is fimiliar with grandma, she'll do okay. Expect when you get home that she may be a little more clingy than normal or may get up in the night a little more often. But I say TAKE THE TRIP. Give yourself some time, your husband some YOU time, and your other child some undevoted MOM time. This will be a nice break for all of you. Go and Enjoy!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.K.

answers from Detroit on

D.,

My 5 girlfriends and I go on vacation every year and have for the past 21 years. My girlfriends son was 11 months old the first time we left and my daughter was 3 months old. She had NO problems and neither did i. As long as she's in capable hands and it sounds like she is, then enjoy yourself and go with no worries.

My daughter is 20 right now and has had no ill effects. Not then and not now. Her own son is 2 months old now and I believe she would have no problems leaving him with me for a week. I have traveled both with and without my daughters their entire lives. They are now independent and well rounded adults for it. Be at ease and enjoy yourself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PS.. whether now or later, Water Babies 50+ sunblock is the best. I have a friend whose children have almost white hair they're so blond and are so fair they're almost transparent. They live in that sunblock and never burn.

have fun have fun have fun have fun. You're the BEST mom and your children will love you for the freedom you're teaching them (and for leaving them on their own vacations with Grandma and Grandpa).

L.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

E.

answers from Detroit on

Ultimately it is your decision, but I wouldn't do it. I think 3 months old is old enough for her to go. I've been places (Zoo, Cedar Pointe, etc) and seen people with NEWBORNS. Now I think that is entirely too young to be out around people (germs and such), but 3 months is a good age. Plus, I think you'll miss her too much. A week is a long time. You can still enjoy yourself, your hubby, and other child if you bring the baby along. I don't think this would be a vac to "get-away", since you're taking your older child. Sounds like a family vac, but you don't want to have to worry about taking care of your baby girl. (I understand and sympathize with you). But I think those are the joys of being a parent. Like I said, if you REALLY want to get away, why bring your son?
(Oh, and FYI I'm a mother of two: 2.5 yrs old and 10 months)

Let us know what you decide. I wish you a happy vac either way. :)

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.A.

answers from Grand Rapids on

It is normal for you to feel this way. You will have a great time and so will G&G.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.H.

answers from Detroit on

D.,

I don't think your a bad Mom for leaving your little daughter behind.. If anything your a good Mom for asking us! :) If you trust Grandma and feel that she will be in great hands while you are gone than that is a better idea than trying to take her along in the hot sun on a vacation. Trust me, my girlfriend brought her 3 month old to a waterpark in Ohio and that poor baby was so very hot we thought she was getting a fever. Her cheeks were so red and she just cried and was miserable. You do what you feel is best for your baby.. There is nothing wrong with leaving her for a week. My husband and I left our two children 3 and 1 with my parents while we went on a weeks vacaction to take our honeymoon and we really enjoyed ourselves. It is hard to leave our little ones, but sometimes it is good to do so. Good Luck and have fun! I too am 31 and have been married for 6 years!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.N.

answers from Benton Harbor on

Take the trip!! You are not a bad mom and your bond goes way deeper than a week away can destroy! You are your daughters life, but that does not mean you have to be there every second. She will not even know you are gone and the vaca will do more good for you than harm to her. Of course you will miss her terribly but grandma (assuming she is able) needs to bond with her as well. I'll bet their relationship will be even stronger for it!!! How many times in your life will you be offered a trip like this, anyway?

The advice to take grandma with was a great idea, too, if that's a possibility. You'll have baby there with you and she'll have time alone there with grandma, too.

We moms need to take care of ourselves even more after we have our babies. We don't give up our other identities when that baby comes out, so embrace this opportunity to renew, refresh and have a blast...guilt free!!

L.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

N.

answers from Detroit on

You in no way are a bad mom for leaving your daughter with grandma & grandpa, you are doing what is best for everyone! Your son will have a great time and it will be nice for him to have some alone time with you guys. Also, I'm sure that Grandma and Grandpa will enjoy that one on one time with your daughter. Don't feel guilty at all, it sounds like you guys will have a nice time and it will be a good get away for all of you. Your daughter will not even know that you're gone and you'll probably be more upset than she will that you left! Just go and have fun, it's only a week!!!

A.W.

answers from Kalamazoo on

I have never been away from my children that long, but they have been away from their father that long and it has not affected their relationship at all. I have family in Texas and when my son was 3mo old, we went there for 10 days without my husband. I have taken both of my children to Texas every 9mo or so for over a week each time and they are always very happy to see Daddy when we get home. Go with your instincts on this one. Leave her if you feel comfortable, she will be fine, but don't leave her if you are going to worry the whole time because then no one will have fun.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.V.

answers from Grand Rapids on

Hi D.,
I think it is a personal decision. I don't think anyone would think you are a bad mom. I personally couldn't do that though. I would worry the entire trip which would defeat the purpose of going on a vacation. I like the idea of maybe bringing Grandma or someone else with you to watch her while you guys play. If the condo is free for the week you would only have food that maybe you would have to pay for. Good luck with your decision.
Chris

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

N.W.

answers from Detroit on

Honestly, I left my son at 9 months for a 2 day business trip that was not my choice and felt physically ill the entire time. He was fine though. It will be much harder on you than your daughter. Paradoxically as my son gets older (now 3) it is easier for me to leave him when I have to travel, but harder on him. Your daughter won't really know you are gone (she will/but won't) and should be fine. I'm assuming you aren't breastfeeding and she will take a bottle while you are gone.

On the other hand, they do sell these great baby tent that keep kids out of the sun and Disney World (not so close to Miami) is very baby friendly.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.P.

answers from Detroit on

I think it would depend on the time Grandma has spent with her up to this point. If your daughter is very comfortable with Grandma and Grandma know how your day to day works then I think it would be okay.

My hubby and I left our twins home for a long weekend (4 days) with G&G so we could go to our cabin when they were about 7 mths. Let me tell you...you will miss your baby every second:(

But you do need to get away sometimes too. If you have been w/out a vaca for 2.5 years...you may need to go:)

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.S.

answers from Grand Rapids on

I have a few answers to this one. First off your initial question. No your not a bad mom for going without her. She wont even remember it. Second, I am actually from Florida, so as you can imagine we have taken many many trips. Our daughter will be 2 in August and she has traveled so much in her young lil life. I dont know about going to Miami but going to Tallahassee (traveling with our lil one) when we drive straight through it takes us about 24 hours because we stop in like every state for an hour or more so she can get out and play and stretch. As for the sun thing. Our daughters first trip she was right at 2 months old and we went to Cedar Key (couple hours from Tallahassee) for a festival they had going on. We Had her Big stroller and put lots of sunblock on her and she just hung out the whole time and had a great time. She also went to Disney the following month (3 months) She was fine and again had a pretty good time. I don't remember there being anything in Magic Kingdon that she couldn't do. And alot of the stuff at Epcot she could go on to (except for space mountain and the splash ride forgot the name of it) I know you didn't ask about all of that but just thought I would share it with you. Actually now that I think about it, just about anything you can do with your 22 month old, you can do with your 3 month old there. When ya'll go to Disney, are you going to be staying in a hotel? and if so is it going to be on or off Disney? The reason I am asking is that if you stay ON Disney, then some of the Hotel's offer child care. Maybe that would be something you could check into. Anyway, hope this has helped. Try mapquest she see driving directions and it will give you a round about of how long it will take. Have a great trip!

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions

Related Searches