Going on an Overseas Vacation with a 1 Year Old

I think you should take him with you because the caribbean is very nice at that time of the year and as you say other mom would have there kid .

My advice to you is to leave your son at home with Grandma and enjoy the trip and the time alone with your husband. I am a stay at home mother of 4, and since I had all 4 of my children within 6 years time, I was unable to go on an extended vacation with my husband until the youngest was about a year old. Since this is your first and only child at the moment, if you decide to have other children, the opportunity to go may not come up again for awhile - especially since you are working as well. If you happen to have only the one child, then as he gets older he would be able to appreciate going with you on trips and be able to participate in the activities available. I've been to the Caribbean a few times and this is actually where my husband and I went on my first trip away from the kids. I honestly did not see too many toddlers around on any of my trips, other than the local people. I'm sure you will miss your son while you're away, but there are so many things to do you will be able to keep busy. All day snorkel trips are great and really aren't something you'd bring a young child along to. Take a few pictures of Joshua with you, and call when you need to, but at his age he will be pretty content and not missing mommy & daddy very much at all. You will also have even more appreciation for him after a little time away, which is always a nice feeling to have. Enjoy the trip!

P.

If Grandma is in good health and if your child is comfortable with her and she's willing to take care of him for a week in your home...Leave Joshua and enjoy your vacation with your husband.
Leave her a list of his routine and back up phone numbers and make sure she knows where things are located in your home. And if it will help you to relax more about the situation, perhaps you have a neighbor or friend who will look in on them as well from time to time...

It will be good for him to be with someone else besides you from time to time.....perhaps then it will help him to adjust and wont be so hard on him to leave Mommy when he begins school.
There's going to be a life time of things that will seperate you from your child...you need to learn to relax and go with the flow...

The caribbean is not off the planet...there are phones in hotels...you can always call in to see how they are doing. And if things aren't going well, you can always change your flight and go home....

Couples need alone time...

Is anyone else going on this trip bringing their children with them???? If not will they mind having a one year old along on their vaction????

It's quite difficult to travel with a one year old (I took my then 14 month old overseas and found it too much...well, the flights really). And you know you'll be leaving him with his grandmother, with whom I imagine he has a great relationship. I say take the week to enjoy the time with your husband. It will rejuvenate your relationship and give you a chance to relax and enjoy yourself. Whatever you decide, enjoy the vacation you end up taking!

This is a hard one to answer. Like the other response that you have gotten, I understand how your husband feels, and I too understand how you feel. I am in agreenment with the first response, see if Grandma wants to go on a family vaca. with you that way everyone could enjoy the vacation AND spending time with the baby. Check with your Dr about what the baby needs BEFORE going also. If Grandma doesn't want to go, I think the little one will be just fine with Grandma for a week ( talk about being spoiled rotten while you are away HA HA HA).Good luck, have a safe trip, and either way all will enjoy it ( you guy's for having a "honeymoon" vacation and Grandma for being able to spoil the little one ( after all she rasied either you or your husband, so she must know what she's doing)

Hi Mom,

i think that a WEEK on Vacation will bee too much for him , especially the Blazing carribean Sun,

there may be other moms with kids there thats true, BUT your child is better off at home with granny, the water, the HURRICANE season, I just think that your husband ad you need time alone, MORE than 3 lousy Days LOL,And since your child is already accustomed to your working, he should be more than happy with granny. In the comfort of his own home, with his same routine, no contaminated fruits and water, NO Carribean Bacteria, and Viruses.

If your mom is willing to wathc him Go ahead Go have fun.

M

Hi,

This is a tough one to answer. In a nutshell I would say leave your son with his Grandma. I have left my daughter behind twice...once when she was about 15 months old and I went for 4 days to Florence with my husband. I cried all the way to the airport but once I got there and got into holiday mode I did fine and she was perfectly happy with Granny and Grandad.
More recently we went to a wedding in Hong Kong and I left behind a 4 year old and a 15 month old. I was heartbroken but I knew it was the right thing to do. My girls would have hated the flight and there wouldn't have been much for them to do there. My 4 year old was upset every time we called but fine after the calls. We skyped every day and my 15 month old really could not have cared less that her Mummy and Daddy were talking to her on the computer!! She had an absolute ball with her Grandma and Grandpa.
So, what I learned from this is that it's never easy for Mom but it may be easier for your baby if you don't bring him along. Especially at his age. My week in Hong Kong was like a second honeymoon for my husband and I.
Good luck and enjoy your holiday,
M..

I recently heard a traveler's report that I agree with, and will use when considering vacations as I now have a 1 month old. It was pretty simple - take the children to places where they are old enough to appreciate it. Think about it - will he remember/appreciate the vacation necessarily? Your time will be spent keeping him in sunblock and sand out of the diaper, worrying about sunburn. Take the vacation for yourselves, as long as grandma doesn't mind. Maybe there is someone you trust who can help her a few hours while you are away. Enjoy yourselves and plan another kid-friendly trip when you can - one that is really age appropriate for Joshua. Also, will flying and being in a "strange" setting sit will with your baby? You deserve a vacation. I say leave your precious one at home and bring on the cocktails!

I am a FT working mother of an 11 month old , so believe me I understand your thoughts here. we recently came back from a 2 week vacation with our son. It was the best thing, being that I work FT I dont get much "uninterupted" time with Nicholas. Well I got it on our vacation. Believe me I know its important for us to be alone with our hubbies, but when the kids are sleeping they can have our attention and can understand a bit better then our children why we leave each day.

after the vacation perhaps a weekend or overnight with your hubby.

Hi M.,

My husband and I just took our 11 month-old on a one-week holiday in Mexico. It was wonderful! Our son was a great traveler and the best thing about that age is nap time. My husband and I made sure to "nap" ;) every time he did, so we had a truly relaxing, enjoyable and romantic family vacation.

Also, you mention that you're traveling with other family members. Might they be willing to babysit so you and your husband can have a date night? If they have children, you could always return the favor.

Enjoy!
K.

HI M.,

If you think you will be able to enjoy yourself without missing him too much over the week, I think that you should leave him with Grandma. A cruise ship is a very tough place to bring a child. I have a friend who brought her son, and said she would never do it again as it was more tiring than anything else, and she also had her family there, including her parents to help out! Once it's his bed time it will be yours too, as you obviously can't leave him alone, and those cruise ship cabins are so tight and get so dark, even with a porthole. You should take the well-deserved time off guiltlessly with your hubby to enjoy each other, and let your son be spoiled by Grandma. The Caribbean will always be there for you to go back to and create a ton of great memories with your little boy when he is older.

Do they have child care available? Most of the resorts and hotels do. I suggest you have a sitter come to your room in the evening so you and your husband can enjoy a nice dinner, dancing etc. You will have the best of both worlds.

M.: I am going to Europe in a month with my hubby and other fam members and I am taking my 15 mo old with us. I figured if my hubby and I want some time alone we have other 3 people to babysit for us while we go out at night and have time for ourselves. I see it as the best of both worlds, we are taking the baby but have plenty of help along the way as everybody will be wanting to take care of her b/c they don't see her as often. So it really depends on you and what your other family members want to do and if the will be ok babysitting. I just know if I don't take her with me I would be worried the whole time I am there thinking about her and how she is doing and that is no way to spend a vacation either. Good luck and if you want I can give you my perspective on what a good idea this was once I return :)

O.

God have fun with yoru husband and remember why you got married. Your resposibility is making/keeping your husband happy first. As you get into the child rearing years you won't have much time together. Like the other moms advised. Grandparents love to be able to care for the grandchild and will have a great time. At his age the flight is a bad experience being confined for many hours, not sleeping in his own bed or being in familiar surroundings will just cause him to be miserable. Take him on vacation when he is older than five so he can appreciate it. Best of luck and what ever you decide have a great time!!!!!!!!

You should definitely take him, as he will have so much fun. Plus with other family members going with you I am sure you can work something out to have some alone time and you will get help from them as well. Most places also have babysitting services or other kids programs. We travelled with our son and with our second from 3 months on with family and it works out well. Get the grandmother to go along to help. Take a separate shorter trip the first time by yourselves. We took a 4 night trip and the first 3 nights were great and then we could not wait to get home and the 4th night was hard on us and on him.

Hi M.,

I understand your husband may want one on one time with you, but the reality is that with or without your son, this is still going to be a FAMILY vacation - not a romantic getaway. And if it is family oriented, I say you should definitely take your baby with you.

We took our son to Jamaica with us when he was 4 months old, and we are taking him again in May when he will be 19 months old. He may not remember it when he is 20 - but I love to see my toddler have fun, and I know he will enjoy it.

And, although the Caribbean is not part of the U.S. it is not that far to travel from New York - a heck of a lot closer than say California, so I don't see why the flight would be a problem. Also a LOT of Caribbean resorts have nanny/babysitting services so that you and your husband probably could have a romantic evening if you wanted.

If your husband is really itching for some couple time plan a long weekend for the summer or fall and remind him that this trip is about family.

Sorry if that sounded judgmental, I just sometimes think that husbands don't totally understand the mother/baby bond and I doubt your husband even realizes the position he is putting you in. Hope you find a good solution for you and your family and have a wonderful vacation.

Hi M.:

I don't see why you shouldn't take your child along. I do understand your husbands thoughts and they are valid too.

I don't know if this cruise requires you to fly to your departure location or not, but my husband and I have a rule that we would never fly togehter without our children for fear that if god forbid something was to happen our children would be without both parents. I know it is a long shot and a terrible thought, but we just air on the side of caution when it comes to this.

K.

I vote to take him along! I think a week is too long to be away from him and you'll have a blast building sandcastles with him (just make sure to bring lots of sunscreen, a sunhat, tee shirts to wear so he doesn't burn, and maybe even a baby tent if he'll nap in it.

You mentioned that other family members will be there as well, so you would surely have some help with your son. Are there others going who you could trade off babysitting with so you and your husband could sneak in a night or two alone?

Since you have your mom to help at home, indulge in a long weekend away with your husband at another time.

That's my 2 cents!

Hi M., I agree with you. Take him and then have a 3 day for yourselves. I am a 62 year old grandmother who has raised 5 and now sitting 2 of my 3 grandchildren daily. Maybe not all are as connected as I but 3 years ago my husband took me on a 7 day cruise, first time. I loved it, but after 4 days I missed my kids very much and seeing others made me cry. your baby will not be 1 year forever and he does new things every day. Don't miss them. Compromise! Sincerely,Grandma Mary

Because you are going w/other family members...I'd say, "Take him". The other members can spend time with him, allowing you and your husband a little vacation time as well. We always say that traveling with kids is just work in another location, but since you work outside of the home, you probably would like this time with your son. A big piece to consider is his temperament. If he's an easy going guy, great, but if he's a real high needs he might be an imposition on the whole group. The resort probably has babysitting, so you can get some couple time as well. Good luck.

If your son has spent overnight time with other family members before, then it won't be too bad for you to leave him with them. It is very exhausting to travel with a small toddler and I can't imagine there are many activities for him at this young age on a Carribean vacation. I understand that you're probably feeling very guilty and will miss him a lot. However, a relaxing trip with your husband will help rejuvenate your marriage and yourself. You'll feel like a better mom when you return and tackle your son's ever-growing active nature. Maybe later, you can plan a long weekend where the three of you go somewhere that have activities more geared towards your son?

We did it and it was so great for us to rejuvinate our marriage at a time when we were so in love with our son. I was nursing and that proved to be a little difficult - but I left our first son with a fellow nursing mom - and it all worked out fine. We were away for four days. There were some things that made it hard though - Finding the right person to care for your son will be the best decision you can make...a good breast pump was essential! - You and your husband will be able to relax and rediscover each other away from your new mommy and daddy roles - and I HIGHLY recommend it.Good luck with your decision.

We took my daughter to a resort in Puerto Rico when she was 10 1/2 months and had a great time. My husband and I make it a point to take turns having some alone time to do a "grown up" activity while the other will watch her. Typically naptime works well for this. The only drawback is that unless there is any kind of babysitting offered(and you are comfortable with it) then your evenings will end on the early side. Have fun and don't let other family members influence your decision after all it's your family not theres.

hello M.
I think you should take him with you .What is the point of going in vacation with only one of your loves?you may not enjoy and feel guilty all the time...
We bring our daughter everywhere and we went already to caribbean when she was 15 months.You're going to be in a resort ,most of the time they have a babysitter service if you need some time off with your husband.Don't forget to take a sunblock with insect reppelant combo.I use the AVON one.
We brought also the swing with us so our baby was napping at the beach and we could enjoy the sun and the view.have fun!

this is a difficult one, I understand how you feel I still cannot leave my boys over night let alone that long and mine are 4 & 2. I would respect the fact that your husband wants to keep the romance alive by being a couple. That is great and you need to support that; however, he also needs to understand you may not be ready. If you have made a compramise and are going to take the baby, ask g-ma if she wants to go too, then you can be alone but yet you can also have baby there if you need to and g-ma can enjoy the vacation when you guys want the baby and she can have fun with the baby when you do not. I would also check with her doctor to see if it is wise to have the baby out of the country at this age, or if you need extra vacinations before and how far in advance before you leave.

I hope this has helped, I do not know what I would do. Have fun though you deserve it.

Leave him home if you have a grandparent to watch him. Times like these wont last forever. Grandma will enjoy it and u and your husdand can enjoy each other too!!!

Me peronally I would feel guilty not taking my child. I think that you should take him especially if you are staying in a resort. You can go away for a weekend with your husband without your child another time. I take my now 3 year old everywhere with me and I am able to have a good time and relax at the same time. Its not like you are going away to party.

I have 7 and 9 year old daughters and have just gone on my first trip without them. When we travel we try to stay at a place that has some kind of reputable child care program or nanny service available. That way you can have some time with your child and some time alone. Or perhaps one of the other family memebers will watch your child one night. Have fun!

I know this is an old request...but I just got back from a 5 day trip in Cancun and we took our 7m old with us - it was a blast!! I had been before pre-baby and this was SO much better. And let me tell you the amount of mothers who came up to me who had left their babies at home and said how much they missed them. My husband and I made sure to have alone time by picking a room that had a seperate area for her to sleep and a balcony that was ocean side with a whirlpool. Having a baby is wonderful and this is a new way of life, finding happiness with your entire family there is the best!!