Is It Too Soon to Leave My 2Yr Old for a Week?

I haven't read the other responses, but I left my daughter with my parents for a week, when she was 12 months, while my husband and I enjoyed some vacation time together. My daughter did well, and my parents enjoyed the time with her (at least that's what they told us :)). I'd say, go for it!

I think it all depends on how long you trust the family you will leave him with. I think a week is a great get-away for you (although 9 days I would think about harder).

The other option is to take him, however the trip would be TOTALLY different if it revolved around a toddler.

I left my 9 month old for 5 days with my folks and it was wonderful. She had spent 1 overnight there prior so we were comfortable with the situation.

I think it is worth it, though tough. You have probably been very focused on your son for a while now, and your husband wants some of your undivided attention. Several girlfriends and I were chatting about this yesterday, and we all were saying that our relationships with our spouses sometimes suffer, but that when we have the opportunity to renew that relationship it is sooooo worth it (we have 13 kids between us, one has twins AND triplets, plus one more, but she always tries to make sure she and her hubbie have some good alone time)! I am a SAHM of 3 kids, ages 5, 7, and 10 and we have consistently gone out of town for about a weekend a year. last month we had the chance to go to Europe for 16 days. I was so very nervous about leaving for that long..it seemed like an eternity. But it was SOOOOO worth it. So many marriages are falling apart these days, and I think the opportunity for real connection with your husband will only benefit your little one. Hope that helps!

Hi E.:
I guess I'm a little late on this response,but I'll throw in my two cents.I seriously doubt,your husband thinks of your son as An (Inconvenience) I think you know exactly what he means.It would be an inconvenience for you all!Not merely for you and him,but for your son especially.The flight alone is very long and tedious.It's hard for adults to be sitting for 10 or more hours,much less a child.There is no escaping (Jet lag) after such a trip,so you'll all be very tired and your time schedule off.Your son will be in unfamiliar surroundings,and probably will have trouble sleeping.The food there is different,and you;ll have trouble finding those things he has grown to like.You should be asking yourself,is this a trip your son will enjoy,and have memories of?Will you and your husband be able to enjoy the sights,or will you be stuck in a room caring for the baby while he's sight-seeing and enjoying the trip? Your husband obviously has thought of these things in advance.There's a difference between being logical,or ignoring the inevitable. If your son has spent time with family,and you trust they will provide loving,antiquate care,then he would most likely be happiest with them.Your husband knows,that expecting a child of two to adapt and behave on A trip across the globe,is far to demanding,and Yes it will be (Inconvenient)considering your spending a fair amount of money,to enjoy yourselves. Parents deserve to get away together once in a while. Your son has plenty of years ahead of him for vacations together,and building fond memories. He's to young to absorb those now. If you just can't leave him,stay home. But don't fault your husband,because he feels you've both earned some free time away.I wish you the best. J. M

E.,

My heart goes out to you.

It sounds like you have bigger issues than just whether to leave your child for 9 days. It deeply saddens me to hear of a child being an inconvenience, especially when we as adults are responsible for bringing them into the world. They are a gift, and it is an honor to have them in our lives.

Nine days is an extremely long time for a young child. I think 2-3 days would be appropriate for parents to have a little get away, but 9 days is a long time at this age.

You are obviously torn about this issue, which means that part of you does not want to leave your son. Go with that instinct because he needs you. The adults (you and your husband) will have to deal with your own feelings regarding being left behind/going alone (if you stay) or dealing with the challenges of traveling with a toddler.

Blessings and courage to you,

M.

I've done both:

- Left my kids at that age (or even a little younger) with one or the other set of grandparents and it was totally fine. I would only do it if the child already has a strong relationship with the family members in question, though. The kids (we did it with each) were completely fine, and we thoroughly enjoyed our vacation.

- Took our older son to Europe with us for two weeks when he was 2. We took a nanny with us as well - they slept in one room, my husband and I slept next door. Made the trip completely enjoyable for everyone. It was the nanny's first trip to Europe, so she was happy. We got to spend time with son and time without him, so we were happy. And our son was ecstatic and came home being able to count in French up to 20!

Heck no...he's not too young...if he's with people you trust to love and care for him. :) <grinning> Sheesh...quite frankly, 10 days is just long enough to get over the worrying and start relaxing. And it's less than 2 weeks, it's not like it's a 3/6/9/or 12 month deployment staring you in the face.

That said; his age & the time you'll be gone, doesn't sound like the real issue to me (although I could be wrong, have been before). It sounds to me like the real issue is that your husband wants an adult vacation, and you want a family vacation.

They're both very different animals. Like Erika, I've done both, traveled with and without my son. I've also been on the receiving end...my parents both traveled extensively WITH the my siblings and myself, as well as leaving us for up to 3 months with my grandparents. All four ways were soooooo much fun. I loved traveling with my parents, I also loved having special time with my grandparents. I love travelling with my son, and I love traveling as an adult. The hardest thing, in leaving my son -aside from the "oh my baby!" is how much my SON loves spending special sleepovers with his Nana. Essentially he loves HIS nana as much as I loved mine. But even though I know that, and I tell myself over and over that the more people who love him and he loves the better... Greeneyed monster, here we go. Oy.

On the adult side of things there's NOTHING "convenient" about having children...at least nothing that I've run into. From pregnancy to paying for college I honestly can't even think of a single thing that would be considered convenient. Kids are an amazing adventure tumbled in love (and mud and headaches and you flushed WHAT down the toilet???), but convenient they aren't. So your husband DOES have a valid point, but expressed...poorly.

Either what he actually wants is some serious 1 on 1 grownup time with you...reconnecting, being able to do all the things that are difficult to impossible to do with a toddler around... OR he's a selfish idiot, who understands just enough to know how much work children are, and that he doesn't want any of that to affect him in anyway shape or form...which would be unavoidable traveling with a small child.

If it's the second option, you've got a rough road in front of you. If it's the first option, and you have someone you love and trust to watch your toddler...take him up on it. Those times where you get the opportunity to fall in love all over again, or to simply just BE with your spouse...take them where you can get them.

You don't want to spoil your marriage over this but,
I was born in California and had two babies born in the Netherlands and one in London. We always took them to visit family half way round the world when ever possible and even took the whole crew to Singapore and Hong Kong when the London born one was 13 months. I brought them back to London on my own. It was such fun. At some point we moved to the States and still traveled a lot....
I wish I could give you the magic words to say to your husband. They do have baby sitters, baby food, formula , diapers etc. all over the world and doctors and hospitals all speak English and life is short and we always enjoyed the children......
Love,
B. v. O.

Although I don't necessarily agree with your husband's rationale, I think it is fine to leave your son with family he knows to have a small vacation with your husband. My girlfriend does this with her daughter who turned 2 in December. They go on one husband/wife vacation a year and the daughter stays with grandma - it works out for everyone because grandma gets some one on one time with her granddaughter and mom and dad get some time together. Yes - it may be hard, but .... while it is your job to take care of your son, you also need to take care of yourself and your marriage and some alone time is always refreshing for a couple. Go and have fun, then come back and you will be energized and full of even more love for your little man!

I am sorry to say your husband has his priorities mixed up. If he puts his needs before his children, he is showing how immature he is.
He and his brother are ADULTS that can deal with waiting.

No, it is not too early to leave your son as long as it is with trusted family members that he feels confortable with. However, that being said, if it was me I would be concerned about your husband feeling that your son is an "inconveniance". If he just thought that it would be easier on both you two and that your son would not appreciate or enjoy such a hard trip that would be OK.

I'd stay home and tell your husband that you have to raise his inconvience for him while he goes. After a comment like that i'd want a break from my husband. I'd plan something fun like a day at sea world or something with my son and just go. Sorry, but it just irritates me when men feel that way.... always said that women have responsibility while men have choices.

He is far too young to be left while you travel. Wait until he is 5 or so. That way he will understand where you are going, that you are coming back, etc. Now he will only feel abandoned by you.

I'm sorry your husband sees his/your son as an inconvenience. I believe you should take him with you. Our three children have gone on every trip with us since the day they were born - we are "all" family. If you need time alone with your husband go out to dinner, meet for lunch, but don't leave for long periods of time.

Good luck to you.

Well, your husband is right on one hand, a two year old is an inconvenience...even to the grocery store. But, is this trip for you two to have some time together or is it for him to have some male bonding time with his brother? I think that should be decided first. I have been to London several times and you can do it with a child no prob...but you will go at a slower pace and not stay out as long. If this trip is for you two and you will catch his brother a bit here and there than by all means, GO, hold hands, kiss in public, fall in love all over again. But, have a plan and know what sort of trip this is going to be. You don't want to find yourself alone or tagging along with the boys if you planned on fun time with your husband. Your little man will be fine with out you! You will be so happy to see him and have a renewed sence of Mommydom when you return and have some wonderful memories with your Husband!
Good luck and I hope you go...London is WONDERFUL!

I'm so sorry...that sounds like you and your husband have really different views on how you parent...

Just wanted to say, we brought my son to London with us when he was 9 months old and it was great! Everyone thought we were crazy, but it was a fantastic trip. It was a little different than trips before kids, but we had a great time and the family that we visited LOVED seeing my son.

I did a ton of research online before we went about family friendly restaurants, etc and I have to say, it was easier to find a clean place to change my son's diapers anywhere there than a lot of places here! I kept hearing that people in London don't like kids out, but we had no trouble and my English relatives were happy to visit!

Good luck!
-M

Hi E.,
9 days is a long time, but you won't harm your son or anything if you go! He will be fine. It's wether or not YOU will be comfortable. Maybe you can take an earlier flight back and make yours a 5 day trip while your husband stays longer? Would you be more comfortable with that?

We left our 2 year old with family and went away for a weekend for the first time a few months ago- I thought it would be hard on me, but it wasnt. I found I appreciated having a "true" vacation where I didn't have to worry about anyones needs but my own. And I was so busy doing grown-up stuff, I didn't really have time to miss her or think "oh, she would have loooved this!". And my daughter had a great time- it was like a vacation for her as well with attention lavished on her from cousins and grandparents and lots of special actvities.
Overall, I think your son will be fine if you go, and you will probably enjoy it more than you think.

First of all who will you be leaving him with. That person needs to be someone you feel completely confortable and you trust. I left my 15 month old with my mom for 10 days for my hubbys 40th bday Jamaican trip n everything worked out great. Remember you n your hubby need some couple time.

I think it is healthy for you and your son to be apart. What I mean by healthy is that he will learn to be with others while away from you. For you, it'll be soothing knowing that when you're away in the future, he is not crying etc. However, with that said - I don't agree that your son is an "inconvenience". I strongly believe that marriage is work and time has to be made for each other. On the other hand, family vacations make beautiful memories and beautiful pictures. I don't want to comment too much on your husband, but I think his priorities are a bit off if he has already vacationed without you and your son within the last 2 years... for the "inconvenience" reason... Best of luck.

My husband and I left our two and four year olds with his parents for 10 days when we got a free trip to cancun. It was hard on me, as I missed the kids. My two year old was so great; my four year old was the one who took it hard.

It's important for you to value your marriage if that trip will give you time together. But if the two guys are going to just hang out, I'd vote for taking your son or having him go alone.

This is a tricky one. I can see your husband's point, BUT I also can see your point.

I think this is something where the timing would be different for each family individually. 9 days is a very long time for separation, especially if you've never been separated to date. What might be best is to begin with shorter times away, and gradually building up so your son is used to it. Perhaps a weekend trip, then 4-5 days, then 9 days...that sort of thing. This might not be feasible this time around, but by the next trip to London the timing might be perfect? Not only does your son have to be ready for this sort of separation, so does the mom.

I have a one year old, and I've never been away from him at night (just during the day while at work). And, I know that I'm not ready for it either. I can't imagine vacation away without him.

So, I think it's something that each individual in the family needs to be ready for before the decision can be made.

Good luck!

Hi E.. You've already gotten a lot of great advice, but I just thought I'd weigh in and say that I personally could not leave my 2.5 year old for 9 days. So I would also either not go, or if I did, I'd go for a shorter time. I do think it's troublesome that your husband is calling your son an inconvenience. Maybe he is resentful and he does want some time just with you. Do you guys have date nights regularly? Maybe a compromise would be that you skip this trip, but you and your husband take a weekend away somewhere close by...soon

I feel for you! Yes, it is too young to leave your child with anyone for that long. Your husband is acting terribly towards you and I feel bad for you. I'd stay home with your son and start marital counseling as soon as your husband gets back.

I think it's terrible that your husband thinks that your son is an "inconvenience"! I would not leave my 2 year old for 9 days with both parents gone! That is simply too long. Let your husband go by himself. Take care of your son's needs and stay here with him.

Yes, I would leave him with family. London for a week sounds nice. Just make sure you are ready to do this so you can enjoy yourself and not feel guilty. Personally, I wouldn't do it and I'd be pretty disappointed by the comment about your child being an inconvenience.

I think a two year old needs to be with its mother and father. I understand leaving the child if it was a business trip, but to leave it behind because your husband thinks it is inconvienent well that is just selfish on his part. Personally I would tell my husband to have a great trip. You are young and my not see there is a bigger long term issue here. Any husband that says there child is inconvient had a child either because it happen adn he wasn't ready or he just thiknks they are to be dropped into his life it he wants to spend time with them. I can only say I would not leave my child at 2 years old. My daughter which is 3 has already gone to Hawaii when she was two because she is part of the family not an inconvience. Granted taking them does change the trip. You may not be able to do everything they you woul dhave if the child wasn't there, but think about it does it really matter? I never thought I was misssing out on anything. You child will only be this young for so long enjoy. Hope this helps.

I think it absolutely fine to leave your son with family to go on a trip. Having some time with your husband alone can be great for a marriage. That being said, it would be a great experience for your son to go on this trip. If you are feeling uncomfortable with being away from your son that long, would it be possible for you to travel to London with your husband, but fly home earlier?

We left our 13-month old son at home with his grandma for six days to go to Hawaii. His grandma is a HUGE part of his life; comes over and helps take care of him almost daily or I wouldn't have felt comfortable leaving him at all. So, who you would leave him with is one thing. We enjoyed ourselves on the trip, but I was ready to come home and was dying for a hug on about day three. Made relaxing a bit difficult; found myself counting down the days until we'd get home, if you can imagine. We'd been there a couple of times before he came into the world and enjoyed ourselves much, much more. Anyway, I love the idea of joining your husband for a few days because I'll bet nine will be too many to be away.

I also recently traveled with my son for the first time - he's now 21 months - and it was a whole different animal, of course. "Inconvenient" wouldn't be the word I'd choose, but it was a challenge. And one we survived while having the benefit of spending family time together away from home.

Best of luck in your decision.

You say a few things that make me wonder about your relationship with your husband. If your little boy is "your life" where does your husband fit into that? It is entirely possible that your husband is trying to "reconnect" with his wife. He probably misses you, and wants to be close to you again.

It's easy to get caught up in the world of your baby. But husbands are human beings and they need time and attention, physical intimacy, trust, honesty,friendship and everything else that makes marriage a comfort and a joy.

Sorry to say, but I also think your husband sounds a little self-centered. It seems unfair for him to ask you to leave for a period of time that feels too long to be away (for you); and I find it very weird that he would refer to your son as an "inconvenience".

On the other hand, if you have made the mistake many women make of ignoring your husband in favor of your child,I think you and your husband need to work on putting your primary relationship back on track. A trip together may help.

As for taking a two year old on a lengthy journey... I wouldn't suggest it, unless your husband is going to help out. And it doesn't sound like he's inclined to do that.

Last summer I went to Scotland with my husband, my 2 year old and my 4 year old. I have to say the time difference was deadly on them, and made the trip pretty difficult. It didn't help that Edinburgh is very far north, so the sun went down at 11 and was up again at 4 - and they didn't believe that it was night time if the sun was up! It was my brother's wedding, and I wasn't comfortable leaving them to go that far. I think if your 2 year old is weaned (mine wasn't) and has a caregiver he loves and is comfortable with, you might consider leaving him. Maybe go for only 5 days as a compromise.

It will be hard but go and enjoy the time with your husband. Just make sure to leave him with someone great and call everyday. Enjoy that time away

My parents left me with Grandparents for 2 weeks when I was 2 and I survived. :-) Go with your husband.

E. W

You will get several opinions at what age to leave your child with your family. You are a good mom, however, even you need a break once in a while. Take the opportunity to have a second honeymoon, you've earned it. Your son is not too young to allow your family to care for him while you go for a week. Nine days is not going to hurt him. If you want to see how he will react, go out to dinner without him and leave him with a sitter. Evaluate how he reacts and they decide, this will allow you to observe his behavior when he is so excited that you have come home and jumps into your arms with a big hug and kiss. Remember there will be a certain amount of separation anxiety at first, but this is normal. If you trust your relatives than don't worry. They will take care of your son just like you would, if you feel there is a problem, then insist that your son go with you. This is just my opinion, but it is ultimately up to you in the end. You will do the right thing by your son with your choice. Good Luck!

We left our 6 month old with my parents for 5 days to go to Cancun for our anniversary. We also left for a week with my parents when he was 18 months old to celebrate our anniversary at Disneyland (my parents live 30 minutes from Dland).

If you are truly comfortable leaving your son with the family who would be taking care of him, I say go for it and enjoy your trip.

I agree, your hubby is sounding like a jerk. Travelling with kids is more difficult than travelling without them. But it is also much more fun to have them experience new places and things with you. I have not made an international trip with my kids, but we just did a 2 week road trip from San Diego to Rapid City, SD with our 4 and 2 year old. They did great in the car! My kids have also done short flights to Texas and S. Dakota at least once a year starting from age 6 months. I would take my kids just about anywhere since they are such good travellers. Yes, you have the tantrums and meltdowns, but if you as the parent go in with the mindset that you won't let these things bother you and you don't overschedule activities and allow time for naps and rest, everyone can have a wonderful time.

FYI:

Before kids my hubby also thought it would be a pain to travel with kids and said that when we had kids he wouldn't take them on a plane until they were at least 5 years old. Then we had our son. Our son took his first trip to S. Dakota with us when he was about 6 months old. My daughter took her first plane ride also at about 6 months old. My hubby would never dream of going to see family/relatives without bringing our kids. Plus kids are a great excuse for getting out of doing these with relatives when you don't want to or would rather do something else. We love to use the excuse that our kids need to take a nap, when really hubby doesn't want to go out to lunch with his relatives because he is too tired. Or when we are visiting my relatives in Vegas and they want us to go drinking or clubbing with them or meet up for a late dinner we just tell them no because our kids go to bed early.

Another idea, can your brother in law come and visit you? Why does your hubby always have to go to him?

I'd submit it depends on the relationship your son has w/ you were leaving him with... If you do leave, do several trial runs w/ that person so parents, care takers (family) and son feel confident. I agree that nine days are a little long and you can expect some anger and disruption from him when you return.

Kids are an inconvenience. They just don't let you do what you used to do. (Tongue in cheek) That's the choice you make when having kids. I like the idea of another writer who brought her nanny. I'm taking grandparents when we go to Italy.

If this trip is more of a stressor for you than a vacation/visit, stay behind again. London will be there. Go when he's a bit older or take him along when your husband feels he's less of an inconvenience; )

Jen

if you're not ready to leave your little guy behind then don't. the overwhelming guilt could only cause you to end up having a miserable time without him.

ps

tell your husband that children are not an inconveniance they are a part of life, and most importantly a part of the family. where would civilization be today if people had his attitude and never explored the new frontier with everthing they could pack including babies and animals? this is just a vacation to london, not an uproot to an unknown place.

International travel is a challenge with a small child. We've been to London twice - our kids were 3, it wasn't too bad. But, it is difficult to enjoy the sites with a toddler along. You are a bit limited. We had the fortune of having family there to help care for our kids so we could get away for a few hours at a time. So, it might be easier to go without your son. I don't think a week is too long as long as you have someone who knows your son well and is close to him. We've left ours for about 5 days with grandparents and it was fine. Good luck.

Hi E.,

The person most qualified to decide how long is best to leave your child is you. How many days are you comfortable to leave him? 3, maybe 4? Whatever the amount maybe your husband can start the trip off by himself and you can join him for the last few days of the trip. That way you won't have to leave your baby longer than you are comfortable and you can still go away with your husband.

Be blessed,

K.

I have a 2 year old and personally, I wouldn't have ANY fun. I would be very worried the whole time. I would stay home and wouldn't have to think about it for a second (although I admit, my husband thinks more like yours). You know what's best for your family but you will also have time to travel alone when your kids are a little older. Why not mostly stick with the family road trips whenever possible and if your husband feels so strongly about going without your child, I would send him by himself again. That's what we do.

It's too bad you husband feels your son is an "inconveniance", but if you truely trust the folks that will be taking care of your son, it's ok. You're gonna miss him BIG time.

I think that your son would be fine while you went with your husband. He'd be with family and you'd get some one-on-one time with your husband. I've left my children with family twice to have time with my husband. The kids had fun and so did we. It's a great time to reconnect with your husband. And if the two of you are happy together then your son as well as your home will be happy too. Go have fun!

Go for it and enjoy your time. believe me I would.. and this is coming from someone who has never left their 4 year old...not even overnight... because my husband refuses to because he's too overprotective. If the trip is supposed to be for that long, why don't you go together and you ome back a little earlier? That's what I would do. Good luck and have a wooooonderful time

Tell your husband to step up to the plate and be a dad. Your son will fly for free and I'm sure that his brother (your son's uncle) would love to meet him. There are a lot of things that you can do with your son and leaving a child that little with family can sometimes be a burden on them. Besides if your husband wants to go out and visit some place for the night with just you I'm sure his brother probably wouldn't mind taking the baby for a few hours. As far as a stroller, you can get those McCellan (I think that is the name). They are made in Europe and quite sturdy. They are a little pricy but I've had mine for 2 years and don't even use the big stroller. What is nice about those is that they collapse down and have a shoulder strap to carry around. So much easier. Take advantage of traveling with your baby before he turns 3 when you have to start paying for a seat for him.

Good luck

If you have family you trust to care for your son... Go! You may find that it's a wonderful opportunity for you and your husband to have some you time together again.

i think its too long personally. i would let your husband go and you stay with your son.

Personally, I'm surprised to see how many of the moms that have already done this and says it's healthy?
9 days is a really loooong time for a 2 year old.
I think that when you are a family, you do everything together, including overseas trips to visit other familymembers!
Why does your husband think the baby is inconvenient? Could it be that his brother does not have kids himself?
I'd say bring the baby, or stay home.
Try to remember why you had kids in the first place, I'm sure it was because you were ready to be there - for the child - 24/7.

E.

We left our 18 month old with my parents, whom we lived with for a year while we tried to find a home in their area, so our son was use to his surroundings, when we left him for 2 weeks in Spain. We came back to healthy and happy baby, but he refused to sit on the potty for us. This is how he showed us his disdain for the situation. He was almost potty trained before we left and it wasn't until he was 3 that he would even sit on a toliet...at at 3, it was struggle. I missed him more than I ever imagined while we were gone. I thought the break would be great, but honestly, we almost flew home a week early...and debated about going home 2 days into the trip. I'm not a clingy mom, so this was a huge surprise for me - to miss him THAT much! Nothing huge, but wanted you to know what we went through.

hi E.,
well i have a 23 month old son, well my situation is a little different, instead of my husband and i leaving him, my in laws have taken him to new mexico, where they live. not just once but plenty of times, and for a week, two weeks, even a month once. i dont know if your son is used to being around the family members you are thinking of leaving him w/ but ofcourse that plays a big part. if he loves to spend time w/ them and you know he will be taken excellent care of i honestly dont really think it should be a problem. in a way i let him decide, if he refuses to go( starts crying) i dont let him go. it is very hard, i am very close to him but they are kids and growing and if he is ready to be w/out me for a little while i should be ready to let him go. i would only suggest to bring him around the family where you are planning to leave him as often as possible before you are to leave. im not saying its healthy or unhealthy im just giving you my personal opinion and my son seems to react good. the only thing i do regret was letting him go for a month, see my in laws have a very different parenting style than my husband and i do, when he came back he was a changed baby, he did not want to hug or kiss us, it was very hard, from that day on i told my husband that i was sorry but that he would not be going over there anymore, and he agreed. but my parents are more like me patient, loving and when we want to go out just my husband and i we leave him w/ them and he doesnt even notice we were gone. my advice to you is do what your mother instinct or gut is telling you, at the end of the day it is always right.

I think 9 days is way too long to be away from your 2 year old. Maybe 3-5 days would be ok, but I just can't imagine being away from my 2 and 4 year old for that long. Also since you would be SO far away, you wouldn't be able to just get back quickly if there was a problem or he needed you for some reason. Tell your husband that if your son can't go, then you aren't going either.

I know you've already received many responses, but I thought I'd share too...only because I left my son when he was 2yo and went to London. My son stayed with my parents who he is very comfortable with. I bought him a bunch of gifts that my parents could give him if he started to miss us. He really didn't need them. I had more difficulty with it and missed him terribly, but he was fine. Around day 5 or 6, my son started to want me. I don't know if he really wanted me or if his longing was triggered by a special book I packed that my mom read him for the first time on that particular day. But, overall he was just fine and had a wonderful time with his grammy & papa.

I have left my children many times since at various ages for various time periods because my relationship is important with my husband. My children have never had issues and it's possibly easier because we've set the stage. However, every child is different and this is just my personal experience.

Another thing I wanted to share is that when my son was 9 months old, we went to Hawaii. We took him with us because I was still nursing, but we paid for my husbands aunt to come with us so she could babysit. It was great! If you have the resources to bring someone with you, that might be the best of both worlds! Good luck with whatever you choose!

I can understand if you were going for a romantic getaway but to visit his brother?! My goodness, I'm sorry but in no way should your son be an "inconveniance" if it's family you're visiting.
If I were you, I'd let him go by himself.
Stay home with your son and get some good quality alone time, just you and your baby.

Hi E.,
I did not read all the responses so sorry if I repeat others. You will not have a good time if you are missing your son. My husband and I went away for 2 nights (for our 7th anniversary) when our daughter was 2. The first day/night was fine. Day 2 we woke up wanting to go home. She is 5 now and we will never leave her for more than a night because WE can't handle it. It is also hard for a 2 year old to comprehend that mommy & daddy are on vacation and that they ARE coming back. If it is possible, you may want to do a trial run for just a few days and see how you and your son do. You would have to pretend that you are not right there and can come back at a moments notice. Fortunately, London isn't going anywhere!
Best of luck to you on your decision.
Jennifer

I love Kathy C's advice... he starts it off and then you join him WITH your son for the rest of the trip (I'd say).

I had my son at age 31. My son is 9 now. We also have a 5 yr old daughter. My husband is not as "hands on" as I would like, but thankfully he LOVES traveling with the kids because he says he works so much, this is his chance to spend time with him.

We went away for the first time alone (Vegas weekend) this Jan.! I know families travel when babies are younger, but I don't think that's good for the child. It was great, but we really wanted them to feel ready being left (with a very trusted sitter, we have no family here).

Kids ARE a pain to travel with (sometimes even the grocery store) but the rewards IMO outweigh any stress. I LOVE flying on planes with my kids and taking them places. I have flown alone with both, I can handle it, meeting my husband on the East Coast.

I flew to Ecuador alone (red eye) with my son when he was 3.5 for a week. He was well behaved. He bonded with people and STILL remembers that trip. You'd be creating cool memories for him of HIS FAMILY and teaching him geography at the same time. He'll always have a REAL connection in his heart and body to London.

I vote taking him. I think you need to take a deep breath, center yourself, start being more self-confident and argue your position why he should go. If you husband is really stressed at the thought of dealing with an exploratory toddler, then you can say, "look it's on me, I'll do most of the child care". And if you do that, then you have to be careful about not getting so angry at your husband (unconsciously). If you are conscious about it, fine, don't act out on it. Just be aware of your feelings.

Take a look at these pictures of people riding bikes in Amsterdam. Some of the photos are of families. Yeah, it's much easier to leave your kid home on errands, but it's also FUN for them to go with you.

http://www.ski-epic.com/amsterdam_bicycles/

My cousin did what Kathy suggested. The father would have missed his son to much so he stayed home with him and they flew later to meet mom. That is very sad his dad says he is a inconvenience. If your husband won't go for this I would do what Suzi says.
Sue

Hi E.,
It's difficult to say, because every child and family is different. We have a four-year-old and we have only done weekend vacations away from her. Our in-laws care for her while I work part-time and have since she was an infant. So our daughter is VERY comfy there -- even has her own bedroom. But she is literally sad and a little weepy for us after the second night. We've cut the end of our weekends shorter just to come home to her. (Ok, I admit it, I wanted to come home to her, too!!!) So I think you will miss your son immensely being gone 9 days and you truly won't enjoy yourself. If your child had siblings, that would probably make it easier on him for you to go away because he would still have his sibs with him. But, sounds like he's your only one (like us) and that does make it a bit harder.

I like what another poster mentioned about you going and then coming home earlier than your husband. That is probaly more realistic for both you and your son.
Good luck with your decision :)

Do what you believe in your heart. but if there is someone that you'd leave your son with for a few days because you trust they would watch him as close as you and give him lots of love. go and enjoy the trip.

Hi E. - I agree with the other moms who say that it depends on how familiar your son is with the family he'd be staying with. My in-laws have watched my son since he was 5 weeks old and he is very attached to his Gma and Gpa. It would still be hard for ME to leave him for that long, but I think HE would be fine with his grandparents because he knows them so well. He has stayed with them for up to two nights and at first I get worried and controlling, but after a little time to myself, I start to relax and wonder why I don't do it more often! If you have that kind of situation, go, have fun! You deserve to spend some quality time with your hubby!

E.,

I know what you are going through. One thing I had to force my husband to understand; is that it wasn't such an "inconvenience" when he enjoyed making our son; so it is not an inconvenience for us to take him where we go. The only exception to this is when it's an ADULTS only-mandotory event and then it's not for days; just 1 or 2 days.

I would really recommend convincing him to take your child along; as it would be a great family vaca including every member of the family.

Good luck and I hope you don't take my advise offensively, as it's not meant that way.

C. B.

Hi E., My kids are growwn now but I would have never left them at any age for a week. J. L.

Your child is not an incovenience, if you think you should take him then tell your husband that your baby is part of the family and take him with you.

Is this the first time you would be leaving him for several days? If so 9 days might be hard for him. I do not think it is bad to leave your almost 2 year old with family-- but you should only do it if you feel it is appropriate. Use your instincts to tell you what is right for you and your baby.