Am I Normal - Don't Want to Leave My Girls for a Business Trip

Nope, totally normal, especially with a new baby. Call them every day and try to enjoy the trip as best as possible!

You are very normal and it is a healthy instinct because children need their mothers at all time. I would not leave without them.

I am an author of a parenting book, and a public speaker. I have taken my children when they were young to all my speaking engagements, bringing a helper or my husband with me to be with them while I speak and being with them most of the time and sleeping with them.

Warmly, N. Aldort

You aren't alone. I can't bear the thought of being away from my kids 5 and 3 even for one night. I haven't done it yet. I do envy my hubby a bit for his guys weekends, twice a year, but wouldn't really want to leave them. If it were for business, I guess I would have to and miss them like crazy.

Stay strong, all of you will do okay.

Oh just ignore them!
That is not nice, chiding you about that....
ANY Mom would feel the SAME way.
NOTHING is 'wrong' with you... really. :)

Now, how about your Husband? CAN he handle, taking care of the children, young baby, while you are gone?
Does he KNOW what to do, and the 'routines'/feeding/bedtime needs for your children? Many Husbands don't. So make sure.... he knows what to do...
Make a LIST of what he needs to do... daily, per day.

Don't feel bad..... you are a Mom... a caring loving Mom. Any woman would feel as you do.
Tell them they are not nice, saying that something is "wrong' with you.
It is your Husband and HIS friends... saying that.
Tell them stop 'gossiping' like children.

When you are away... you can use "Skype" on the computer, to see them and talk with them. Do you have an eyeball camera on your computer??? If not then get one. And you can call them daily. Skype, is free and great!
Look it up online.
www.skype.com

all the best,
Susan

Totally normal, but this time for yourself is so important as well. So go, have a great time, and call them whenever you feel the need.

I think it is totally normal. For the moms who can take trips and have no worries - I think that just takes time to build up to that. I remember at first I was definitely a NO way could I leave. But now that I have had to do it (and also taken trips that I do want to do, ie mini weekend getaways with the hubby) I know it is just as fine to take trips with out guilt.

My husband works 5 days out of town every week. So, every Monday he leaves and doesn't return till Friday. He has done this since our children were born. It was really tough on him at first, but 5 years later it is now just routine. (of course he still misses his children but now it is just part of our life styles). I wouldn't want to do what he does - but that is why we praise him and thank him for all his great work (so mom can be with her babies).

you are not weird.....but it is an exciting opportunity...enjoy it hun!

You are way normal. Don't let your husband & his friends bully you about being a natural parent & loving your kids while they are little. If after 8 years of age your girls aren't pestering you to play with other kids all the time, I would be surprised. At that point you won't get to play with them much anymore. Enjoy your girls while you can.

I had my first business trip a 10 day buying trip at market when our daughter was about 7 weeks old. It was very hard, but I knew I had to do this.

Imagine, I had to stop breast feeding, had to trust husband and missed our daughter so bad..

It was hard, but I was so busy it was actually a blessing. I called home at scheduled times.. (this was before laptops and cell phones) and my husband would give me updates..

You can do this and your girls will have a chance to be "daddy girls". It will all be fine. Just keep their pictures close and schedule phone calls so you all can talk..

Congratulations on this opportunity. Your job must really be pleased with your work..

It is very hard. I left my girls for five days when the youngest was in pre-school.
I called everyday. When I came home my husband and the girls came back from open school night and I had missed it. He was a very good father and so I trusted him.
Do you trust your husband with the children. If you do then it is no problem.

I have a 3 year old who I've only spent one night away from and it wasn't by choice. It was because my newborn was hospitalized and I needed to stay with her. I've never spent a night (or more than about 2-3 hours) away from my 1 year old. I don't plan on leaving them overnight anytime soon and while I know that other moms do, it's not right for us. We're still normal, just choosing to parent differently than some others around us.

It is perfectly normal for you to want to be with your children. It is how we were designed. So sorry you have to go. I know I couldn't do it.
Blessings

I just left my two kids for the first time for a business trip across the country. It was really hard and I didn't want to go either. I knew I had to go and I did receive a great welcome when I got home. I made sure to call them every day and I also got them little gifts so it gave them something to look forward to. I think you not wanting to leave your children shows what a committed mother you are.

You're not a freak at all! I told my job that I would not travel anymore since my two year old was born, I wouldn't leave him to go on a business trip if I had a choice, and If I had to go, I would go and would be missing him every minute of the day! So you're more than normal and a great mom to not want to leave them!

I have to travel a bit for work, and I get a lot of anxiety being away from my kids. I can handle the short jaunts about the US, but I've had to go to Copenhagen and London before, each for a full week, and once while still nursing, and that was highly traumatic for me. In fact it was so hard for me the first time that I ended up bringing my then 18 month old to London with me the next time I had to go, and paid for my mom to come with me to watch him while I worked! I have two boys now, and a little girl on the way, and I constantly worry about having to travel overseas and leave them all....it's one of my biggest anxieties about being a working mother.

With that being said, I have found ways to cope with the travel, because for me it's a necessary "evil", and I really want to find ways to enjoy it and embrace it, because a lot of moms don't get the opportunity to get away and be an "adult" for a stretch of time like we do. It can be really fulfilling if I don't let my anxiety get in the way.

1. I line up really reliable and loving childcare. I trust my husband completely, and luckily my mom lives nearby and is like a second mom to my kids. So I always feel like I'm leaving them in GREAT hands, which helps. I also remind myself that it is good for my children to learn to respect other adults and to live outside their comfort zone for a bit too. It's nice for kids to not have mommy around ALL the time I think - it helps them grow and be more independent.

2. I plan fun things to do in whatever city I am in - things I could NEVER do with my 1 and 3 year old in tow. For example, a nice sushi dinner (on the company expense account!), or leisurely shopping at a local nice mall, sight-seeing tours, or just an evening of room service and watching whatever I want on TV and taking a bath. I try to take advantage of my "me" time.

3. I skype with my kids while I'm away, which does help. I love seeing their little faces on the screen and chatting with them.

4. I throw myself into work and work long hours as a distraction. It's good for my productivity to be able to focus on work 100%, which I can never do at home.

5. I constantly work on different strategies of coping with my anxiety and use them when I need to while traveling.

I wish I could help more or put your mind more at ease, but I think a lot of mothers struggle with leaving their children, especially for a whole week. But try to embrace it and make the most of it! It'll be good for you and your children.

Good luck!

K

Oh so normal!! Can you Skype at bedtime to say goodnight? It may help with some of those "pangs" that come with being away from your girls. After you say goodnight, order some roomservice, cozy up with a good book and enjoy the peace and quiet!

I'm totally sympathetic, but I'm also a little jealous... :)

Have a good trip!

Normal. I agree exactly with Holly G.

I don't think that is strange at all! Your normal in my book:-)

It also comes down to trust...if you trust the person to do the best for them while you are gone.

If you are a freak then so am I! I have never left both of my children who are now 4.5 and 3. I have left my older son when he was a year old for 3 days and have never left my younger daughter. I have made a few trips to see my family with one child or the other for 1-2 days but never left both of them at the same time. I think it is normal, and shows that you are a good mom who wants to be with her kids more than she wants to be alone. Now that is not to say that it is bad to want to leave your kids either everyone needs a break now and then. I know I have not left my kids because of 3 reasons.
1. I don't have someone I trust enough other than my hubby to leave them with and my hubby works really long hours so I have been concerned about him getting home in time to pick them up from the Child Care Center.
2. No one can take care of them like I do
3. When away from them all I do is think about them and I just don't have any fun.

So I know that you may not have a choice because you have to go on your business trip but know that there are other moms out there going through the same thing.

Good luck.

It is very, vary hard for me to leave mine like that! We just went on our first vacation in 6 years-the last one I was pregnant with our oldest! I have only ever been away from my son one other time for that long when he was 3. It was very hard but I knew I needed a break but it didn't keep me from missing them like crazy.

Nope, not a freak...just a normal M.. It would probably be ok if you leave since they are in good hands, but a M. will always worry. I left my son overnight with my M. and was calling to make sure he is doing ok, so I could imagine 5 days.

Yes, this is normal. I feel anxious just leaving my girls for a few hours which is funny because often times I wish I could get away. But when I finally have the chance, I'd rather hang out with my girls.

I have to leave for two weeks in the beginning of December and I am freaking out about it!!! I knew this when I took the job, so I knew it was coming, but still - I AM FREAKING OUT!! You are totally normal to not want to leave them!

No you're not a freak! You are a normal healthy person to miss your little ones for that long. It's normal to be bonded with your young children. I'd worry more if you didn't feel that way.

Completley normal!! It would abnormal in my opinion to not be apprehensive about leaving your sweet girls!

I feel the same way and have to leave my girl for three nights soon. I don't mind getting away but I am very anxious about being away from her.

I think what your hubby may be missing is that moms are different than dads!

Nope, that is normal. If I go on a trip I plan on taking my little boy with me. My sister can watch my son, since they both like TV and the pool. I know that is selfish of myself, but why deny myself time with my child?

Maybe you can video chat so you don't completely miss your kids entirely.

You are totally normal. I did not leave my kids overnight until my youngest was three and then I missed them so much I called home every night. Your girls will be okay without you. But it will be harder on you than on them. Call them every night. Take their picture. Cry if you must, but don't let them see you cry. And tell your husband to support you and tell his buddies to back off.

I'm going away to a family wedding this weekend and it's only for 2.5 days and my husband is staying home with the kids, but still every time I think of it I tear up. It doesn't help that I can't stand flying, but, no, I don't think that you're weird at all.

I feel the same way! My husband and some of this family think I am silly. I could go out of town for business, but I hate being away from my kids. I even hate them spending the night somewhere because I feel guilty and miss them. They are almost 3 and 4 and I work during the day so I want to spend the most time with them I can.

It's so hard to "go", but once you get gone it will be relaxing... enjoy it. Days go by so fast, you'll be home before you know it and trust me the kids wont miss you as much as you miss them! You will feel renewed when you get back home and love them all more than you did before you left ;)

You are COMPLETELY normal. I have to travel for work and I never get "used to it". My husband is great with the kids, but I'd rather be home. It's normal!

Also know it's okay to be gone. You are going to support your family and do your part - a different role for a few days than you might prefer, but important. You husband and girls will be fine. The girls will learn to be a bit more independent and know that "mommy always comes home!".

Relax as much as you can and try to enjoy the time we all need, but put last on our priority list... time for ourselves.

Take it easy on yourself. It's normal, you will miss them - alot sometimes, but you aren't doing anything wrong. ...

Totally normal!! But just try to relax and have a good time. I am sure that once you get there, you will be fine. And THEY will be fine too! They might miss you but it is good for mom and dad to have time together. and I am sure that you are leaving them in very capable hands (because you don't sound like the kind of mom to leave your kids with just anyone), so don't stress, and enjoy the time with your man, and the free time you will have to relax while he is doing his business.....I know, easier said than done :0)

I have to go on a 3 day trip every year and it is soooo hard. I don't think you are a freak at all! It sounds like you have some issues with your husband and if you don't trust his parenting or you are worried about his abilities to do the job alone, then that would make it even worse. I have no idea why his friends would be commenting on it at all, it is no buisiness of theirs. I think that is weird. Why do they care? Are they teenagers?
Your kids will miss you and mine are clingy for a few days after I get home. My 2 year old son didn't sleep well, so my husband was REALLY tired when I got home this last time. Then he wouldn't let me out of his sight for a few days. When my daughter was 2 and I came home, she cried and then wouldn't have anything to do with me for 3 days! Two seems to be the worst age for it. They all react differently to mommy being gone. They will be fine after you are back for a few days, but if they are not used to you going away, they may act out a bit when you first get home. Good luck and I hope you can relax!

You are SO not a freak!! I went away for a weekend with my friends for a 30th Birthday. 1st day - fine, 2nd day - ok, 3rd day - feeling terrible and so sad!!! I REALLY wanted to go home and see my DD, missed her so much.
The welcome that you will get when you return though is the best thing ever!!
p.s I have 10 years to wait but I am already dreading when she goes to college. :-)

I think you are completely normal! When I had to leave my 20 month old and 5 month old for 2 days, I cried on the way to the airport. Even when you know that they will be well taken care of, it still is hard being away. Don't let anyone make you feel badly about missing 2 of the most important people in your life!

Very normal. Enjoy your time to yourself. I love watching a movie in the hotel room, eating room service, and not being interupted. I also will take a long hot bath! But I still miss the kids. It's also a great time for the kids to be with Dad. He won't do things your way, but everyone will survive. I thinks it's good for their relationship.

Huh, no nothing is wrong with you. I think some people confuse getting a break and leaving your kids. Try to enjoy your work trip.

Completely normal! Recently, I have had to travel more for work and I hate leaving my 2 year old daughter. I miss her so much. But, it's also nice she gets extra bonding time with her daddy. The bonus is that when I get home from my trips, my husband is so much more appreciative of everything it takes to care for our daughter. It's never easy to leave them at home (as I miss them both!) but it does get a little easier. We find time to Skype so that makes it easier, too.

My trips are usually short (less than 3 days) so I look forward to catching up on my reading while traveling or soaking in a nice hot bath. Ahhh. Small pleasures. Enjoy your time to yourself.

I felt the way you did for a 2 day trip. Not only that but here I thought I would catch up on sleep... nope... missed my LO too much. However, it was a nice break but I was so ready to be home again...

Completely normal. I had the same difficulties the first time I left my daughter for four days, and I was going on a "get some time with my husband" weekend. We left her with my parents, and she had a fantastic time. She only missed me around bedtime. I missed her until I was irrevocably gone (in the car, buckled in, on the freeway), and then it all fell away, and I was excited about the weekend ahead of me.

There's nothing wrong with you at all. Heck, you have a new baby...what do they expect? I recently had to leave my husband and 4-year old son for 3 weeks to go to Texas to train for a new job, and it was soooo hard. I'd never spent more than 4 days away from him before. There's no way I could have done it if he was still a baby! Go with your gut...if it's telling you to stay put, then stay put. There will be plenty of time for travel when the girls are older.

I've wondered the same thing at times. I have 16 month old b/g twins, and I still get nervous just for them sleeping in their rooms. I've only ever spent three nights away from just one of them, and that was because my son had surgery and the hospital didn't allow other children there for safety reasons, I was crushed. It was horrible because I was 2 hours away and I couldn't leave my son at all just to see her.
I too won't go on a long trip because I get anxious being away from them, but that doesn't necessarily mean you shouldn't go. If you feel like a break from everyday (or even not-so everyday) stresses, and you know 100% your children will be well taken care of, then maybe you should go. However, If you have doubts about his skills and how well your children will be taken care of, then staying home may be best. Good luck!