Potty Training - Henderson, NV

You shoulf never shame a child when they poop or pee themselves. Use rewards for the bathroom. For boys a good trick is to put pieces of cereal in the toliet and make a game out of trying to "hit the cereal" with the pee. Try to be consistent with having him use the bathroom the same times every day even if he says he doesnt have to go. Have him stay by the toilet or on it for a set time (3 min or so) and that might prompt him to try.

I would advise against punishing him. That would be negative attention and would make him associate pooping with punishment. I would just back off. Let him wear diapers or pull-ups at nap time (or even all day if he poops at times not associated with sleeping) and try again in a few (as in 3-6) months. Many kids regress (or don't progress) when a new sibling comes along. When he is ready, it won't take long at all.

J.,
Well I can relate as my 3year old was just trained about a month ago. I too have a new baby..congrats by the way. I ended up putting him in daycare just to get him trained. We could not really afford it but it worked. This way now in the fall he can start preschool.
Hope is helps if you try it.
J.-Henderson NV mother of 3 boys 7,3, 2months

Hi J.,

DO NOT PUNISH HIM, you will end up with a child with lots of problems. He may need to feel the security he had as "the baby" so he is not progressing right now. Just be patient and eventually he'll want to be "the big boy" but remember, having a new baby in the house is a big adjustment for everyone and he may be overloaded right now.

V.

First and foremost, you probably read and heard that he will train himself when he is ready. I do believe that to be true, however, what worked for my daughter was putting her in regular underwear. I tried the pull-ups and she treated them as diapers. Once I shifted to underwear, she did not like the feeling when she went #1 or #2 in them. Of course, we still had accidents but she was potty trained in about 2-3 weeks after I switched.

Hi J..
I know it can be trying and I know the feeling. My sister had this problem with her son. What finely worked was we made him wash out his own soiled (after we got out most of it) underpants. It only took 2 days! He said it was gross, we could'nt have agreed more LOL. Dont know if it will work for you Good Luck and keep your chin up it will work out soon.

Hello J., I am a mother a 6 children from the age of 15 to 6. I have one son and we made a game of it. Sounds funny but try putting cherrios or a ping pong it the toliet (it will not flush) and have him aim at the object. It make going pee fun. If it is just a poop thing that is a little harder, but try an reward system....if he goes give him something that he really like. With one of my we used M&M in a jar on the bathroom counter. When they went to the bathroom they got one M&M and it made them want to go and try and try even if they didn't have too.
Hope this helps.
L.

I feel your pain. We switched cold turkey to cloth training pants (Gerber) which worked for pee, but he would avoid going on the potty. He'd wait until we took him off and then go in his pants.

What finally worked for us (my son was 4) was a combination. I asked him WHY he didn't want to poop on the potty; turns out he was scared of it. We told him he could go poop in the LITTLE potty and he thought that was a "great idea." He still had accidents, but it wasn't every day like it had been.

The second thing was letting HIM deal with the consequences. We made him clean himself up (supervised). We didn't punish him at all, we just made him take responsibility for it. That has worked.

Good luck.

Hi J.,

The good news is, at almost four years of age, potty training will probably happen quickly once your son is ready to go for it. :-) I used a sticker chart with all four of my kids. Worked GREAT. Each time they used the potty, they got a sticker. After 10 stickers, they got to pick out a small toy. By the 3rd set of 10, they all had it down (some sooner) and had forgotten about the chart altogether. LOL I put the chart on the fridge where they could easily see it. I found that pushing them never worked so I always waitied for them to be ready and to show interest. I talked to them a LOT about how big kid use the potty and that "soon" he/she would be ready. We had books and a video. I asked them often if they wanted to use the big boy/girl potty or still wear diapers. They all told me when they were ready to give up diapers. Their ages at the time ranged in between just under 2 1/2 and just over 3 1/2. Didn't matter whether they were younger or older, they all learned to consistently use the potty within days of starting the "sticker chart". The only real difference was, the older boys needed/wanted much less help with pulling up their own pants when they were done. :0) Good luck!

J.,

Try giving him an incentive. I gave my daughter 5 cents every time she went potty on her own. When she reached a dollar, we took her to the store for her to buy something she picked out herself. It has worked out wonderfully and she learned how to count money up to a dollar. I would exchange nickles into quarters, then the quarters into a dollar. I would also use dimes.

J.

You're right, punishing can lead to big problems in the potty training dept. Bottom line, this is not an area parents can ever control. You don't want to hear this, but he's simply not ready to be potty trained. Buy him some exciting big boy underwear, check out some DVD's and books from the libary on potty-training (made for kids), watch the movies and read the books to him. Ask him if he's ready to give up his diapers and wear the big boy pants. If he says yes, put him in the underwear, put the potty chair in the family room and be prepared for some accidents! We did it in the summer, so they just had on a shirt and their underwear---it was a lot easier for them to pull them down and sit on the chair quickly! With my boys, I waited til they said they were ready, did just what I told you, and they were 100% trained within 3 days. They were a little older then most of their friends, but they never had accidents like their friends did. If he says he's not ready, then keep him in his diapers, and try to entire thing in 3 mos. He's still young---don't sweat it.

I found these 2 links on another mamasource question.

http://www.pottytrainingconcepts.com/Potty-Training-Resis...

http://www.med.umich.edu/1libr/pa/pa_btrainin_hhg.htm

My son was so stubborn potty-training--it ended with my husband taking ALL of his toys and putting them in a locked bedroom---and only when he went to the potty did he earn one back. He was only left with crayons and paper...and books. That's it--yeah--he was cured in 36 hours!

I did commando potty training. It takes a week. You have to be really consistent, but I swear, it works like a charm. We started on Monday morning, I brought the potty downstairs and put it on the kitchen floor. My son then didn't get underwear until he earned them, by going on the potty. Then he earned his pants too. I set the timer for 10 minutes and sat down with a book. Every ten minutes he had to come sit. I also made sure he had LOTS to drink, so he usually went whenever he sat. The next day set the timer for 15 minutes, then the next day 20. The rule is, when the timer goes HE MUST SIT, not always going, but always sitting. It took about three days for him to poop, and when he did he "won" a whole bunch of prizes (books, candy, some new underwear). In a week we never looked back, and afterwards it was one or two accidents in the last year. Good luck. You will be amazed when he is done, it will be a wonder... :)

My advice would be to try a reward system. Make a chart and everytime he goes in the potty by himself he gets an award of some kind. Like his favorite candy or a little toy or a coupon or ticket type thing for next time you go to the store he can redeem them for a treat. How ever you want to do it just some sort or incentive/reward system. It may help to see there is something in it for him.
When potty training my two boys I just had to every 30 minutes to an hour ask if they had to go potty and just take them there to see if they had any secrets they didn't know about. Eventually they figured it out and I didn't have to keep hounding them about it.
Good Luck! Potty training is a chore! You'll get through it!
J.

Hi J.,

....two videos....BEAR IN THE BIG BLUE HOUSE - POTTY TIME WITH BEAR....and POTTY POWER. My son saw 'Bears' video many times before he sat one day months before his 3rd birthday....and never went back to diapers again!! In one day!!
I've also heard rave reviews on Potty Power as well. Bear does it with songs and enpowering kids with understanding why their bodies are 'releasing' this stuff...and where does it go? Some kids think there insides are coming out!! There's no way to know how each child see's it.... but these videos strike a nerve and it gives them the bigger picture.

Check it out on Amazon.com and see the product and read reviews.

Punishment to teach potty training is something that could stay with them their whole lives. And they can end up like one of our old family friends (48) who STILL to this day can't go in a public facility...and holds it all till he goes home! Whatever 'punishment' he got or guidelines, he see's it as a bad thing....instead of a normal thing. And no one should carry that with them their whole life.

Kids can relate to characters, etc....sometimes better then all our verbage as parents. [;o)

Good luck!

Hi J.,
I was having the same problem with my 3 year old. My son would scream if you even took him near the bathroom finally at the advice of another mother on mamasource I went ahead and bit the bullet, I put him in his underwear and told him to let me know if he had to go potty. Of course he would never tell me so I put him on the toliet every hour even if he didn't have to go, it then became a routine. When he would have an accident that first week or week and half we wouldn't get mad at him but would tell him that he has to go on the toliet. If he had accidents after the first 2 weeks we did put him in time out for 3 minutes. For him that worked because he knew we were serious about him using the toliet. I do understand your frustrations, I also have 3 kids 14,3, and 11 months and I just really needed to get to the point where I only had 1 child in diapers. Good Luck!!

I'm having similar problems with my 3 year old daughter -- i don't think it's right to punish them, they will regress even farther. My father in law told my daughter yesterday that she was a baby because she pooped in her pants -- now she says she wants to wear diapers because 'Opa' said she was a baby. I've read to expect 'regression' especially with changes (your new baby...i'm pregnant with one on the way).. we're also trying to get her to stop sucking on the fingers, wondering if it's just too much at once. I do hear that 'when they are ready, it will happen'... a friend of mine's son was over 4 when he was potty trained, so you've got a little time! Good Luck!

Hi J.,
I have the same problem with my son he is 3.5 he’ll be 4 in November, I just find out that if I don't tell him to use the potty he'll do it, and when he got any accident he just go and find the Spiderman boxers that he loves and put them on most of the time he got his underwear backwards but he does not wanted me to change him, so try to make him more independent to wear the kind of underwear he likes and DO NOT punished him I noticed that with my little one works better if I said "oh you have another accident" than when I said why did you do that? So be patient he is getting ready, I noticed that the worst mistake I did is to have him on diapers so he does not make a mess, let him make a mess it’s a process of the change.

I have 3 boys and the other two I have no problems with them they where ready before 3 with no accidents in bed but each Kid is different, don worry he’ll be fine.

Hi J.,

Well, I can only tell you how we got my daughter potty trained. She had just turned three. Like you I had enough of changeing her diapers because I had another child - actually twins. I really was not wanting to have three in diapers. I also had read about it and did not believe in punishing for potty training.
So I emptied out a box from the pullups we were using with her and we called it her prize box. Every time she made a pee she got a small piece of candy. She loves chocolate - so we got a jar of candy kisses. Every time she went poo she got to choose a prize from the box. I went to the dollar store and filled it up with cheep toys. Also as the process went along if she saw something in the store she wanted I would buy it - but it went in the prize box and had to be earned.

I had heard about kids going backward to wanting to be changed when they had a little brother or sister so we also emphasized how many things SHE got to do that babies CAN'T do. Things she loves to do - Like play at the park, eat candy or cookies, and going out to eat lunch with her grandparents.

She was using the potty very regularly within a few days and was really completely trained within two months. When it comes to stopping the prizes... after she had it down, I just stopped "remembering" to give them to her. She only got them when she asked (we also moved the box to the laundry room - out of sight - out of mind). Eventually she just stopped asking for any.

Good luck - I know how hard it can be.
G.

My son wasn't completely potty-trained until he was about 3.75 years old. Boys take longer. My mom said she had to put my brother on the toilet every night at midnight between the ages of 4 and 5, before he could make it through the night.
My daughter is completely potty-trained at 2.5 years without any prompting, she just watched her brother.

Punishment does nothing in that department, seriously. They will do it when they're ready. Just keep a diaper on him. It'll start to bother him at some point.

good luck

I have 3 girls and I used cloth diapers on all of them. my first 2 were potty trained by 2 no problems with accidents after a month. my youngest is only 12 months but I'm expecting the same for her. if you use the thick underwear with the plactic underwear covers you can buy at any walmart kmart or target it will help. but the number one thing is consistency! you have to be calm and not bothered by it so definately do not punish it will just set you back. boys are lazy and pretend not to care because they figure if they don't have to bother with it someone else will. so if he pees his underwear leave him in them tell him if he wants to sit down it can only be on the kitchen floor and he can't go on the carpet while he is wet. if he wants to take them off happily take him to the sink and have him wash rinse and hang them to dry a week or less of this and he won't want to do that any more especially if its poop! it worked for my sister who as 2 boys. good luck and remember you and your husband must be consistent!

Your husband is right. I agree with the books that say do not punish them when they are just learning or are really young. However at almost 4 years old, your child is cognizant of what he or she is doing and knows the difference between right and wrong. Therefore, the child may just be being lazy or rebellious by not going to the potty. If you have tried other methods, I would suggest you take your husband's advice. I did the exact same thing with my daughter. I didn't rush her and I never spanked her but when she was 3 years old, enough was enough. You don't want the child to be almost 6 having the same problem (I know someone who did!) Hope this helps!

As silly as this sounds it worked a charm on my 3 yr old. i started announcing when i had to use the potty throughout the day and i would take my 3 yr old with me. i also had her have play dates with other children a little older than her that were already potty trained (that was the turning point!) after a few weeks she was following in my tracks on her own. i just found it important not to push on it too hard or toddlers can become afraid of using the potty. positive reinforcement and patience has always done wonders for me.

I would suggest picking up the book "Everybody Poops." My son loved it and it helped the whole process be more "fun" for him. I see that others have already given you many ideas, but at a glance I didn't see this book recommended anywhere. It is rather hilarious as an adult to read it and the kids just LOVE it! Definitely a must have when going through the lovely potty training phase!

Best of luck to you!

J.;

It sounds like he might not be used to or doesn't understand why he is now having to do things on his own while he continues to watch you clean up after his younger sibling. He might have that (hey what happened? feeling, mommy used to do that for me?). I suggest you find a way to get across that as he gets older he'll be able to do more on his own. Also it doesn't hurt to remind him that when he couldn't walk and talk (just like baby now) that you did the same for him and if you have another child that you would do it for that baby too .Also, might want to inform him that soon the baby will get bigger and also have to potty train; ask him if he will help you with that ONCE HE LEARNS which would be a while from now but he might take on role of older sibling. Have him help in the decision making of items for the baby (like what shirt or color pants should we get for baby?, etc). You mentioned that if you attend to him in the middle of him going he will go,that might be an indication that he just wants you to still clean him up (like the baby) he's probably just trying to deal with the transition he is going through. I would not suggest punishment, he might associate going to restroom with bad or scared feelings which might double the time to learn.
All the best
Deb

well since he is going to be almost 4 I would say you need to start pushing him to go to the potty. He is old enough to know to go and he knows that going in his pants is bad. I would for like a week start pushing him and take him to the potty like evry 30 min to an hour and start over with the basics of potty training.
I know potty training is hard I have a 3 year old that I will be potty training again soon but your son is going on 4 and at some point you have to stop and really push him and let him know thta going in his pants is not all right with you.

Give all of yourselves a break. My first had poopy issues and did not completely potty train until a year after I started with her. (A YEAR!!!!) With my second, even when she was showing readiness, I did not even try to put her in panties until she absolutely insisted (I guess I wasn't ready for that kind of committment to my schedule!!) and she trained herself. WHen they are ready, honestly, they will do it themselves. Unless you are facing a school situation, where he must be potty trained to go, I say give all of yourselves a break and just back off. Tell him that his superman underwear are in the bottom drawer and he can use them when he is ready. Then walk away and change his diaper when he needs it changed.

Hey J.,
I have a 3 year old also. He'll be 4 at the end of October. I have been trying for months & just recently HE decided it was time. I say do not punish him. All kids do it at their own pace. I've never heard of a kid in kindergarten & still in diapers....so it WILL happen...lol.
I have been trying on & off with my son since he was about 2 1/2. We tried LOTS of stuff!! What helped this time (besides him just being ready)was a reward system. First I got him underwear with characters he loves (Diego, Mickey Mouse, Wiggles) then I took him to the 99cent store & let him pick whatever he wanted to go in his "prize bag"....books, small toys, etc. I told him that every time he goes potty in the toilet he gets to pick a toy from the bag. Another thing I did was to just let him be in underwear around the house. That way when he feels that he has to go & he's rushing to the bathroom, he doesn't have the extra struggle of getting shorts off too.
Anyhow, I hope this helps you. Just be patient. I promise it will happen (-:

I'd suggest taking a break from it for a while. With the new baby, your 3 year old is reverting back due to there being a new addition to your family. He will let you know when he's ready again.

Take one weekend, have him wear a long t-shirt and no pants or diaper or pullup at all. Kids will go in their pants, but not on the floor. Also, no more pullups, at all, even at night. I don't like punishing, but you do have to push a bit, that's why they call it "training". Incentives didn't really work for my daughter. They didn't hurt, but she didn't quite get the connection. It was more just getting used to going in the potty, all the time, and now she's really proud about it.

The trick is to make them think they are in charge. Find something they really want and reward positive outcomes, but don't make a big deal about unfavorable results -- sometimes kids think it is funny to make you crazy and will misbehave on purpose to get you to react. For my 1st daughter I had to pay her a $ Disney Dollar -- I printed fake money with Mickey Mouse and promised to take just her (not her baby sister) to Disneyland when she earn the price of the ticket. For my second, it was praise and rubber stamps on her hand -- related to toileting. It all depends on what your child fancies enough. Good luck.

I have two 3 years olds who are goiing through potty training now and I'll tell you what has worked for us. They both love Thomas the Train so my daughter made charts (rather like a calendar) with Thomas on top and bought train stickers. The first time they went poop in the potty they got a train and put a sticker on their chart. Then it was a sticker each time until a full row was filled. Each full row won them another train. The trains were up in full sight for them to see what they would get as soon as they had accomplished the task. Charts are up in the bathroom wall. One grandson has not had an accident in over a week. Not even at night. The other is coming along slower but is beginning to step up as he is envious when his cousin has new trains and he does not. Use whatever your son is interested in as the incentive and let him help pick out the stickers. Good luck.

Hi J.,
This is a tough situation since you have the new baby. Punishing is not a good idea because it makes this a power struggle and he is the one with control over his body so you can never win that one. He can wind up hurting himself by refusing to go at all. Also, the new baby is probably not helping because by going in his pants he is getting your attention.

Your son needs positive reinforcement. When my son started having accidents we created a sticker chart/calendar. He got a sticker for each day he didn't go in his pants. After 10 days he got a small present. We did this for about a month or so and he was fine after that. However, you first have to get him to go on the potty.

My son was just about to turn three when we told him he was getting no more diapers. He went without diapers (and had some accidents) but in 2 days he was going on the potty 90% of the time. I still had him sleep in pullups for awhile but the cold turkey approach worked for him.

If you can do somesort of combo approach where you tell him no more diapers and do the sticker chart it might work for him. You can also explain that he needs to be potty trained to go to school.

Good luck. I hope this helps.

Our nephew is developmentally delayed and was 4 and still not potty trained. It was a family affair and we tried everything. Finally, my husband hit on our nephew's greatest passion, dessert. Our nephew was told that when he put his poop in the toilet that he would get ice cream. Worked like a charm. It actually worked too well as we had to explain that he had to always put his poop in the toilet and never in his pants and that he would get the ice cream only once at the end of the day. Our nephew had decided that if he already had ice cream that day he could poop in his pants and it didn't matter, or that any time he felt like having ice cream he could just poop in the toilet and he could have it. That kid is a true negotiator, but, he is potty trained.
Good luck,
L. P

My son was potty training resistant but we spoke to the pediatrician about it and first she said "no child ever started college not potty trained" and second she gave us a great handout which is exactly the same advice given here
http://en.allexperts.com/q/Pediatrics-1429/Potty-Training...
My son became resistant for a lot of reasons. First, he was and is very independent and strong willed. Second, his father pushed too hard and also punished. That is THE WORST thing to do. You can't make them potty train. They have ultimate control. When my ex finally got on board and did as the pediatrician requested (tell him it was his choice and he'd do it when he was ready and then not bring it up again) our son was trained in a week, on his own terms.
There's more information about it all here. Good luck and remember, no child starts college not being potty trained :)
http://www.keepkidshealthy.com/parenting_tips/potty_train...
http://www.pottytrainingconcepts.com/Potty-Training-Resis...

It sounds like your son is taking his time but at least he is showing an interest. He is only going to be four...give him a break. If it makes you feel better, my daughter was four and three months before being completely potty trained and girls supposedly learn quicker than boys. Also, my daughter still has trouble wiping her bottom because her arms aren't physically long enough to wipe well. Don't punish him because he may start holding the poop in and that is horrible. My daughter went through that and it took a long time to teach her that poopies were okay and get her to go once a day or every other day. Your son sounds smart-so what if he's not regular yet. You have a new baby, too and that always affects the attitudes of the older siblings. Back off-he'll get there.