My 15 Month Old Just Started Hating His Crib

Hey C.,

This is an ongoing discussion between us moms. I am a firm believer in the cry it out method but it is personal choice. It is extremely difficult to listen to but it is not dangerous and it can be modified. You can go in every few minutes check the baby rub his back say night night, lay him back down, and leave. So there are no abandonment issues, or long time detachment issues. I have done it with my kids and have taught many of the moms in my childcare center who are sleep deprived. I also belong to a forum called CityMommy and there was a post this week about a study that the government just completed regarding co-sleeping. The report states that infant deaths due to co-sleeping have quadrupled in the past 20 years. Due to suffocation and strangulation and in some cases babies falling off the bed. I have never co-slept because my husband is about 6'3 300 lbs and I always feared he would roll over on the kids in which case I could never forgive myself. The study shows the safest place for a baby is in their crib on a flat mattress with no blankets, or pillows. I am all about cuddling with your baby and loving your baby, however safety comes first. I also was a stay at home mom and I admit I needed my space at night. I was with my children all day and I truly needed my alone time as well as time with my husband. My kids are now 24 & 19 and we are extremely close they did not grow up to be serial killers, do not have trust issues, if anything as they have grown older I am not only their mother first I have become their confident and friend. THEY FINALLY LISTEN TO WHAT I HAVE TO SAY LOL!!!! I am not saying that you have to do cry it out it is really up to you and what you can handle but it does work. Also it is not harmful it is a gift you can give your child to learn to sleep independently as well as teaching them to rely on themselves for self soothing. Good luck!!!

C., It's possible your son is experiencing separation anxiety when you put him in the crib, so this could just be a phase. Then I would think about bedtime - I don't know what time you're putting him to bed, but at this age usually they need to be asleep by 7pm (my son was in bed by 6:30 until he was 20 months), so maybe he's overtired and needs an earlier bedtime? This may help in two ways - probably your husband and your prego neighbors aren't asleep at that hour so you *could* let him cry.

I would stop rocking your son to sleep. Help him learn how to soothe himself to sleep. You can get him into a calm state and then lay him down. If you don't want to let him cry you could try patting him. We HAD to let our kids cry though - us being there was a deterrent to sleep (but I also never rocked either of them to sleep either.) Is your son a restless sleeper? Maybe he needs the bumper pads back on his crib (our son wouldn't sleep at all without his because he'd be hitting his head all night).

For great non-judgmental sleep advice in general, read Weissbluth's Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. Good luck! I hope you find something helpful in my response (I have a 2 year old and 11 month old, both sleeping through the night).

Is there a reason you don't want to move him from his crib to a bed? I know this is young, but my son did the exact same thing! I would rock him almost to sleep and then lower him into his crib. As soon as any part of him touched the mattress, he'd start to cry. I don't know why, but at 14-15 months he must have noticed the crib and decided he didn't want it. There was a spare bed in his bedroom, and one night in frustration I put him down there, and he fell fast asleep!! The next day I got bed rails, put pillows on the floor, and let him sleep in a bed. He never came close to falling out, and I had lots of padding to protect him, and I had a baby monitor so I'd hear if he did. But he never did and a month or so later we took his crib down and made the 'big boy bed' permanent.

C.,

Why do you think your son shouldn't sleep in your bed? If its because you and your husband don't want him to, then fine, you need to find another solution. If its because everyone else says don't do it, well, they don't know what's best for your family, only you and your husband can decide that. There is nothing wrong with co-sleeping. In fact, I think it is great for the child, they feel so secure. It might not be so great for the parents, unfortunately.

Before letting your child cry it out, I recommend reading The No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. You can get your child to sleep without resorting to extended crying.

Whatever you decide, follow your gut feeling.

Good Luck,
R.

C.,
I agree with Rebecca, though I haven't tried the book. It is not wrong to co-sleep, you aren't giving him bad habits.

This is your family; you do what your family needs to get a good night's rest - for everyone.

Your baby is gorgeous because you have responded to his needs, and this is another need of his. Keep his smile going!

Good luck,
M.

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Warn everyone around you and let him cry it out. He is
testing you. Good luck.