8 Week Old Not Sleeping on Her Own

Why shame on you?? Co-sleeping is a very natural practice. One that your baby is telling you she needs. Especially if you are returning to work soon. It could be a great way for you to bond and stay connected. I have three children, 9, 4, 16 months. My babies all slept with me. They decided when they were ready to sleep on their own. Usually it was about 5-6 months. Enjoy this precious time. It goes by very quickly!!

DO NOT SAY SHAME ON ME for letting your infant daughter sleep with you. I have the experience of 4 children (7, 5, 3, and 7months) and I will tell you every one of them has had different sleep habits/abilities. My oldest did what you are describing, and I remember how desperate I was for sleep, and back then I felt bad about letting my baby sleep with me, BUT NO MORE! Don't let anyone tell you that "you'll be sorry". My new baby has slept with me for the first 4-5 months, and she transitioned to her crib better that my other 3. She's the best little sleeper so far, and just a great little baby. Now I'm not saying that this is THE answer for every parent or every baby, but each child is different and you need to respond to each child's needs. You were entrusted with this child by God and you need to trust your "mommy insticts". Don't let anyone or any book make you feel bad. Good bless and ENJOY this infancy because, believe me, it flies by...M.

By all means, if you need sleep let her sleep w/ you. There is nothing wrong with co-sleeping. Letting a two month old baby cry it out is cruel. Someone who's only been on this planet for 8 weeks is not spoiled and is not manipulating - they are in the process of forming an attachment. Think about where she was just 8 short weeks ago - she was close to you for nine months so of course she wants and needs you near.

Because I listened to my mil when she said one of my twins was spoiled at 8wks old and that I should let him cry it out, I now have a clingy two year old with trust issues.

Check out The Baby Whisperer Solves all Your Problems by Tracy Hogg or the Dr. Sears book on Attachment Parenting. Tracy Hogg will give you a particular method for getting your infant to sleep in their own bed w/o letting them cry it out and Dr. Sears recommends co-sleeping.
Hope that helps!

Please do not be ashamed of letting your baby sleep with you. This has been shown, by medical evidence, to be the best thing for both you and your baby. It is a way for you both to get a good night sleep. And, if you are returning to work soon, it will give you time to be close to your baby at night, when you can't be close during the day.

My children slept with me until they were between 2 and 3. We all sleep better that way.

If you are concerned about safety, please know that it is actually more safe to sleep with your baby, then it is to put the child in a crib in a separate room. Please see Dr. Sear's Website,

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/t102200.asp

and Mothering Magazine's article, with lots of useful links to other websites:

http://www.mothering.com/sections/experts/buckley-archive...

Co-sleeping is the norm in most of the rest of the world. My advice is to give up trying to get her to sleep alone. Take her to bed with you. If you both sleep better that way, you won't regret it.

I always said I'd never let my infants sleep with me, and with my son (now 7), I didn't. He would wiggle, wriggle and socialize. Sleep? Not so much.

My daughter (now 3), though, slept with us most of the time for the first year. She was cuddly, happy, very still and slept straight through after the first couple of months. She got kicked out at about a year old when she decided she should own the entire bed and kick her parents in the ribs and head. LOL. So, no shame on you from me. :)

We had minimal problems moving her at that point. Honestly, I don't regret having those snuggly times with her at all. I don't regret not having my son in bed either. Kids are different, and the things you do with each naturally reflect that. The goal is for everyone to get the sleep they need.

If you really feel strongly about moving her to her own bed, you're likely going to have to let her cry some. With my son, he'd cry for about 10 minutes, get a pat on the back. Start crying again and then we'd go 15. The difficult part is that you really can't pick the baby up for comfort or you'll just start the whole thing over. Fairly heartbreaking at times, but my son did figure out how to sleep on his own in a few nights. They were long, exhausting nights, but it worked.

My son slept with me for the first 11 weeks of his life. Then I started to put him in his pack 'n play which was right next to my bed for naps during the day only. I finally figured out that he LOVED sleeping on his stomach and he started napping in the pack 'n play. When we transitioned him to the crib, it was a little more difficult. But we eventually put a heating pad in his crib to warm up the mattress. Once it was warm, we would remove the pad and put him right on the warm spot. It worked! He did not wake up after laying him down. I hope you will find something that works for your baby soon. Oh, and by the way, if you want to co-sleep, do it. Check out www.askdrsears.com and look up "attachment parenting".

First off, there is nothing wrong with having your daughter sleep with you if that's the only way you and your husband can get some sleep. My daughter was born prematurely and when she did finally come home, the only way she would sleep was in someone's arms - nap and at night. So, my husband and I propped up some pillows and took turns each night (we both work) holding her while sleeping. Then, every once in awhile, we'd try to lay her down in the co-sleeper we had next to the bed. Sometimes it was successful and some times it wasn't. If it wasn't, we'd go a few nights without trying and just holding her and then try again. Sure, it was about 1-2 months before she was sleeping on her own, but she's now 18 months old and is a happy little girl who sleeps in her own bed every night.

You can't spoil a 2 month old. Go with your gut on what feels right to do.

I'd like to 'ditto' the advice from Amy L. I think she gave you some very realistic, practical advice. I used the same technique with my 2 daughters. It took some perseverence, but it worked. My girls (ages 8 and 6) still go to bed easily by themselves.

I also feel compelled to caution you about using a heating pad in your daughter's crib, as one of the other moms suggested. Research indicates that making your baby too warm while they sleep significantly increases the risk of SIDS.

Good luck...and sweet dreams!! :)

I'm sorry that you felt the need to say shame on you. If you want to co-sleep, don't let ANYONE make you feel bad about that. We did almost from day one & loved it. We used the boppy pillow until our DS was moving around too much. Then, went to sleeping flat on the bed. Worked great for us. That said, I wasn't sure that I wanted to do that, so in the beginning, I learn that DS liked to be somewhat warm to sleep. She didn't like the full swaddle, just up to her arms. She still doesn't like her arms covered when she sleeps. I used a blanket on my shoulder, then covered her with one on her back. The idea being that when I layed her down, she was laying on a warm blanket. She still didn't sleep all night, but at least a few hours at a time. With our son, we did the pat the bottom thing. That worked great for her. Good luck.

You're doing a good job, it is a special thing to sleep with your little one. There is no reason to stop at this point, especially if you're wanting safe sleep with very little crying. She will need to know you're close by especially when you go off to work and you need to reconnect with her. Please don't feel shame, it's no body else's business, and you know in your heart you're doing what is right for her. Check out Dr. Jack McKenna's new book, Sleeping with Your Baby. It's been practiced for thousands of years, and it is instinctual. Keep it up!

Hi My name is A. I had my forth child on March 12th. we had this problem with our first born as well. My advice to you is this when you are home inthe afternoons for her naps try holding her with her belly to your chest and her little head on your shoulder. Once she is asleep getly lay her on her belly on a firm surface(crib,couch,ect) Get her used to slepping with out you that way you can get things done that you need to while she naps. As far as night time goes turn the temp in the house down a degree or two so she wont get to hot and wrap her tightly in a blanket including her arms and then hold her normal to put her to sleep. If she dont feel you quite so close then she wont be so attached when you go to lay her down. Hope this helps.

I remember my son doing the same thing...it might have been a phase or a coincedence but I began putting him on my bed for naps b/c we had the tempurpedic bed and I noticed i could get my hands out from under him with out him noticing. As long as he didn't notice the shift from me to the bed he would stay asleep. So after this became a success I bought the mattress topper (2-3" thick) for his crib and had similar success! Just a thought!

Hi Victoria~ My suggestion would be to swaddle her up really well so she still has a sense of security and then you might be able to lay her down and get some rest. Like you said, the last thing you want to do is have your child sleeping with you and your hubby in bed. Never started that and go glad I haven't after I talk with people who still have a 4 year old in their bed. I wish you the best. I have 3 1/2 year old and a 7 month old, so I know all about lack of sleep and how important it is.

I have to be honest I allowed both of my children to sleep in our bed as often as need be for me to get ample amount of rest. They both slept with my husband and I on and off until they were about 6 months old, and neither one of my children had a problem adjusting to sleeping on their own, in fact the adjustment was very easy. My advice would be to make a routine and try very hard to stick to it. Lay her down to sleep roughly the same time everynight, make a bed time ritual, bath, book (they are never to young), milk, and down in the crib. If she cries pick her up and comfort her, or sit beside her, anything to let her know that you are still there. If she wakes after a couple of hours try to feed or change and lay her back down, if she wants nothing to do with it lay her in bed with you, there is no shame in that!Remember she spent 40 weeks snuggled right next to you, and only 8 weeks on her own, some take a little longer to adjust than others. It may take a little time, but eventually she will catch on. I was never much for letting them cry it out, I just simply couldn't bare it... 5 minutes felt like an eternity when my little guys were crying, but I know that this method does work more quickly for some. It is all trial and error and eventually you will find the routine that works best for you and your daughter.

Let her cry it out a bit. She will most likely fall asllep. She is spoiled from you giving in and holding her. Most parents go through that wih the first one. Good luck to you!!!

Hi Victoria! I feel your pain. I've had a sleepless/can't sleep alone daughter for the last 6-1/2 months, and we are FINALLY getting to the point where she's putting herself to sleep. What I did was give her something else to sleep with. I used a soft bunny and a blanket. It sounds odd, but you need to get your "scent" on the item you give her to sleep with. That way, she will associate that particular item with sleep, and not you, but she will still be able to smell you on it. I nursed her with the blanket and bunny between us, but it took a few nights for her to get the hang of it. The only time she got the item was at nap or bed time, and it always stayed in her bed except when we nursed. I still think that she's young at 8 weeks, so you might be sleeping together for another couple of months, but keep trying. We slept together for about a month, but then I had to bring it to a halt, because I wasn't getting any sleep and she was just starting a bad habit of being in our bed. Kaelyn is older than your daughter by four months, but get her used to sleeping with something other than you. You might be stuck sleeping together until she gets a little older, but you need your sleep if you are going to work next week. I hope this helps!! Give it a shot!

First of all, set up a rotation with your husband so you are not the only one losing sleep. Second, the best tried and true method is letting her cry it out. As a newborn most kids will sleep anywhere. Instead of holding her until she is asleep develop a routine that helps her know it's time to sleep ( a shortened version at nap is usually helpful). Hold her for a few minutes while she gets drowsy, then lay her down. From here you can stand nearby and sing, pat/rub her tummy or hair, etc. Another thing is to put a heating pad on low and put it in her crib before you lay her down - then remove it before laying her down (test to make sure it's not too hot) to warm the sheets. What really helped with my daughter was a mobile (fisher price I believe) that put lights on the ceiling and had a remote you could use from the doorway. I might have to re-start it a few times, but it usually mesmerized her until she dozed off.

i had the same problem coming home with my son and swore i wouldn't let him sleep in bed with me. so i had another idea. the nights he has trouble i get him asleep in my arms swaddle him and place his boppy pillow in his crib or bassinet. i lay him in the middle of it and pull the boppy close. it makes him feel like hes still being held plus he keeps the heat by being swaddled. this has worked wonders for me the past three weeks. hope it works.

Victoria,
First of all i want to say don't beat yourself up about letting her sleep with you. It's really hard with your first baby because not only are you trying to care for your new baby but you're trying to do it "right". I have 4 kids ranging from 18 mos. to 8 and the number one thing i have learned is that you have to do what works best for your family. if that means letting her sleep with you well then.... and let me put the fear of the future to rest for you as well. if you let them sleep with you now, that does not mean they will be doing so until they are 20. it is easier when they are a little older to train them to sleep in their bed. anyway, as for what to do, i have had to go through all the routes between the four kids. i did let all of them try to cry it out. if you're not familiar that is putting them down and leaving them in the crib even if they start to cry. you need to go in and console them every 10 mins or so but don't take them out of the crib. i will say it can be agonizing for you, but it can be effective. i even started at eight weeks with my first one. it seems harsh to me now, but i have to admit he is my best sleeper. with my next two crying it out was not effective, and they did end up sleeping with me. finally with my last i tried everything but crying it out because i had decided i didn't feel comfortable. we rocked and rocked, we tried co-sleeping, we stood and swayed (from which i now have back trouble). she was a terrible sleeper for the first 8 mos. until i finally gave in and let her cry it out. as soon as that happened, she started sleeping wonderfully. so, in all of this rambling i guess that crying it out would be my suggestion, and give it a fair shot, but don't beat yourself up if you need to go another route.

My son was the same way. I think it's because they can sense you there - your touch, your smell & then cry when you leave. I know this sounds weird, but I would put my son to sleep in my arms & then lay him in his crib, but not let go of him right away - I kept my arms around him, and slowly removed myself. Sometimes I would sit on the floor next to the crib, with my arm in the crib, patting or rubbing his back & slowly quitting until I thought I could leave - Yes, I even sometimes would fall asleep sitting there on the floor with my arm in the crib! lol. I also took some of my clothes (that I had worn recently so it had my "scent" on it) and kind of stuffed it,and put it in the crib with him. I assume he thought I was still there, because he could still "feel & smell" my presence. Of course you don't want to put anything big or bulky that would be a hazard in the crib with your daughter. Good luck! Hope you get some sleep soon.... at least on the floor - LOL!

I don't think that there is anything wrong with allowing your child to sleep with you, as long as you are not under the influence of any drugs (prescription or otherwise) or alcohol.

My son is 16 months and we've co-slept since he was born. It was the only way to get any rest, and it is proven that co-sleeping reduces the risk of SIDS as long as the parents are not over weight or using a substance. For more info on co-sleeping google Dr. Sears. His website has some great info on it.

Also, I wouldn't worry about your child not wanting her own bed...eventually she will want to be a big girl and will want her own big girl bed (some will tell you otherwise, but I think it is a exception, not the norm).

Good luck !

Hi Victoria! My daughter has gone through the same thing recently....it must be in the air. :) My daughter is 7 months old. She has always gone to sleep on her own in her bed. About a month ago she started crying when we put her in her crib so we rocked her until she went to sleep. She would wake up when we put her down and we would start over again! I wish I could say there was a magical answer, but I don't think there is. Here are a few things we have tried...We tried letting her fall asleep in our bed and after she was REALLY sound asleep putting her in her bed. This worked, but I will warn you that it is a horrible habit to get into! We also tried rocking her until she was really sound and putting her to sleep. This worked some of the time. The key was making sure she was REALLY asleep. We would also put our hand on her chest when we laid her down so it felt like we were still there. This didn't solve our problem of just putting her to bed on her own though. We would try about every 3rd night to put her in her crib right before she went to sleep. It worked a few times, but not many. BUT....the good news is I think it is only a phase because my daughter has gone to bed on her own 3 times this week. We are hoping we are past this phase. I know it can be really hard when you are so tired, but remember that you wont be able to rock and hold her forever. ( I have to remind myself that when I am holding my eyes open and she won't sleep.) Good luck. If you find a magical solution, please pass it back to me! :)
A.
PS Crying it out didn't work for mine! She just screamed louder. We tried it and she cried for 2 hours one night. I am sorry, but I can't let my baby do that! (Whimpering is different than crying.)

My son did the same thing! He ended up having reflux problems. He would sleep in our arms ok, because he was more upright. Try letting him sleep in his car carrier. Our doctor approved this for up to six months old. Also talk to your doctor about it incase he may need some meds.
Hang in there. I promise it will get better. I really do understand!

Ok this isn't going to be easy and since it is your first child it will be hard on you. If you don't correct this problem now it will only get worse. When you lay her down for a nap if she starts to cry just leave her in there and walk out of the room she will cry for a little while but crying is good for her. It will strenghten her lungs believe it or not. Don't give in to her she will be fine. If she cries for more than 10 min go back in rub her just to let her know that you came back and that everything is ok don't pick her up that is what she wants you to do, then you will be back to square one again. Keep doing this and she will realize that it is bed time and this is where she needs to sleep. Actually right after she is done eating and it is time for her nap put her in the crib while she is awake don't let her fall asleep on you put her in bed when it is bed or nap time she will get used to it in no time. You don't have to wait for her to be asleep. Acutally it is better she is awake that way she will put her self to sleep with out your help. Please let me know if you have any other questions. I hope this helps. I have two of my own and never had a problem putting them to bed due to they were always awake when I put them in there crib. Good Luck!

Ok Try this--- Put her in the carrier to got to sleep . I had the exact same problem with my sons, dont let them sleep with you!!Trust me this works and they will eventualy go to sleep on their own flat, but for now go get some sleep girl! get that intimacy back with hubby asap!!

I'm sure someone has all ready suggested to you to feed, burp and then diaper your baby so she doesn't have a chance to fall asleep before you put her into bed??? i know babies tend to fall asleep while they're being fed and then you want to put them down while still asleep, BUT this, obviously is not working for you, so try puting her down awake. Does she use a pacifier? Good luck-- I know sometimes when sleep -deprived you will do just about anything.

Have you tried some soothing music? We play classical or slack key guitar (a type of Hawaiian) music for our dd. This is her "key" that it's time for bed and will usually fall asleep a little faster than without it. Also, as one other suggested, try putting her to bed before she falls asleep.

I read once that having a baby fall asleep in one location then moving them to another is like us falling asleep in our own bed and woking up in a different house. Startling and confusing. They can't process the "how" and get upset.

Hope this helps. Just give whatever you try a little time to work. She will eventually figure it all out.

It would seem that since she fell asleep in your arms and after putting her down she wakes up and cries, that she may need to feel swaddled. Can you wrap her in a way where she feels secure and then put her in her crib? If she is used to you holding and rocking her as she is going to sleep she may need to learn how to fall asleep on her own without being held. And therefore as I'm sure you have probably heard from us "mean" parents... I would let her cry it out, as long as she is dry and been burped.

Today is my daughter's 25th birthday. She was only 4 hours old as I write this. So, I do speak from experience!! Hope this helps.

Hi Victoria,

My daughter was the same way! Boy I suffered trying to get sleep and it killed my back to sleep her on me, but I also loved it :)

As the other persons said, you can choose to continue OR just try to get her to sleep on her own.

I can tell you that at 8 weeks most babies don't know how to self soothe, my dd got it at 8 months and my son at 7.
However, what I would recommend, if you're okay with letting her cry a little, is laying her down drowsy, not asleep. Holding her until she's asleep and then laying them down is never going to work.

You lay her down awake, she's going to cry, pat her butt and say ssshhhhhhh. For newborns ssshhhh is a soothing sound.
Keep on and keep on and keep on. At her age she may get it in a few days..... you walk out and wait 2 to 3 minutes of her crying, go back in, patt and say sshhh never pick her back up and never talk.
It works and it's work ;) But you won't have to go through the torture later when they're older and more determined to put up a fight.

Hope this helps some, not sleeping for me has been so tough and I can tell you the earlier to help her to learn to sleep on her own the easier on you and her.

And if you choose to hold her to fall asleep again, you may have to start all over hahaha yes, just once can ruin it.

Also, don't let her fall asleep after eating.
Always play after eat then bed, I followed this rule and it was awesome bc it teaches them to fall asleep alone without the help of a bottle.

Hi Victoria.
I have a 7 month old that I am working through sleep issues with. I am currently reading Healthy Sleep Pattern, Happy Child. It teaches that before 4 months to attend to your child because there is truly a need at that time. He is in favor of the cry it out method, but recommends not starting it until closer to 4 months. That doesn't really fix your problem much. But it seems to be a very helpful read. FYI.

My good old fashioned Mom remedy is this... she is all nussled snug in your arms and then you put her in a cold bed. YIKES!!! I'd scream too.... and so did my kids. Simple solution... the heating pad. Lay it in the bed say 10 minutes before naps, or right as you're starting bath time before bed. It warms it up like a heating blanket. Stick it in between the sheet and the blanket you cover her with. Obviously pull it out of the bed completely before putting your child in there. But it worked wonders. I could nurse my kids, pull the heating pad out, lay my kids down, and have my little swaddling all snug as a bug in a rug all fast asleep without fussing. Might be worth a try. Best wishes!

I don't know if you've tried this, but swaddling worked well for my son. I never kept his arms in (better stated--he never kept his arms in) the swaddle, but he felt comforted by the "close quarters".

Good luck.

I have read a ton books about getting kids to sleep well and one idea that was mentioned over and over again is to put your baby down sleepy but awake. You could rock her until her eyes start to get heavy and then put her in her crib. She may cry for a little while but hopefully not very long. That's what I did with my son and it worked very well. Hope that helps!

Maybe someone has said this, but what worked for me was to rock my son to sleep & then hold him for about 20 minutes AFTER he was asleep. This apparently got him into DEEP sleep, where he wouldn't wake up as easily when I put him down. It might be a different timing for your little one. I remember reading to watch them & wait for them to breathe slower, eyes not to move so much under the eyelids, body to relax more, stuff like that.

Sincerely,
C.

Hello!

When I used to baby-sit and had to put a baby down, I would cradel them in their blanket. I found that they would stay warm and not wake up as mutch from the cold bed or other cold blankets.

Bye the bye I am a full time step mom to twin 9 year olds and a 7 year old. No babies yet, but I remember how that worked for me!

H.

Hi Victoria,
The trick is to put her to bed when she's drowsy and awake. You can tell when she's done eating and is getting sleepy with the yawning, rubbing eyes, etc. That's when you put her down and let her fuss, suck on her pacifier, find her fingers, look at a mobile, and so on. If she's crying, give her five minutes, then go in, pat her give her the pacifier, etc. but DON'T pick her up. Then give her ten minutes, then fifteen, etc. Babies are smart, she'll figure out how to go to sleep on her own. She'll use these skills to go back to sleep when she wakes up in the middle of the night, too, so you'll get more sleep. Hope this helps.

Went through the same thing, so I know how you feel. The only thing I found that worked was to place a heating pad in the crib to warm the sheet (of course, remove it before laying the baby down). I think the baby gets used to your warm body and then is laid down in a cool crib and it wakes them up. Hope this helps.

Hi Victoria,
I have 3 children and have been through that phase with all of them. Here is my advice and what worked for mine. It may sound harsh but it seems like your baby has formed a habit and if you don't break it now this problem will continue way into the toddler years. When it is time for her to nap or sleep at night, put her in her crib and leave her. Don't go back. She will cry and cry but eventually she will fall asleep. My first son was the most difficult. It took 3 nights of constant crying but then on the fourth night he slept through and has ever since. I know this is difficult. Trust me. It breaks your heart to hear her crying like she's dying but get a good set of ear plugs and you should be ok. You will thank yourself later especially since you have to go back to work. A book I would recommend is called Baby Wise. It has so much good advice. Of course with any book there are some things that you may not agree with but there is more good than bad. It's one of the best books on baby's and schedules especially since you are a new mom. Good luck! L.

Hi,

I'm mom to 2 boys, a 4.5 years old and a 11 week old baby. My trick is to put them down before they completely fall asleep, like when she is struggling to keep her eyes open. If she jolts when you out her down, just pat her belly and say "shhhh" until she falls asleep. Another trick is to lightly run your finger down her nose (very lightly like a tickle from the forehead to tip of her nose). Doing this when they are almost asleep causes them (my boys at least) to shuts their eyes and they doze off.

I read the Secrets of the Baby Whisperer with my first son and that gave me some great sleep tips.

Good luck.

~A.

By chance, are you giving her a bottle to help put her to sleep (I don't mean leaving one with her)?? Whether you are or not, just in case she has some tummy discomfort when you put her in her crib (lying on her back instead of cradled on incline in your arms) try elevating the head end of her crib. It WON'T hurt a thing.
I went through phase of my daughter waking up as soon as I put her down too.
I also added some egg shell foam under her sheets and that seemed to help a lot!!!!! It gave her a more cushioned feel as if someone was holding her.

If you let her fall asleep in your arms the change from the warmth and hearing your heart beat etc to laying in her bed without the surrounding warmth, sound and scent is what is waking her up. When it is time for her to go to bed put her in her bed.

You can lay her on her side, bundle her with blankets if you feel the need. They manufacturer tapes with the sound of a heart beat that you can use if you feel the need.

It usually only takes 2 to 4 nights for the crying at bedtime to stop. I know it is hard to listen to but the habit is yours to break as much as it is hers. Do yourself, and your husband, a favor and break the habit now.

P. R

As much as you would like your sleep going back to work and all you can't let her sleep with you because it is a very hard habit to break once the baby gets used to it. When nap time or bed time comes around put her in her crib and let her cry herself to sleep. Let her cry for 20 min. and if she is still crying after 20 min. pick her up for a few minutes and walk and talk to her. After you do this put her back in her crib. She may cry again or she may go right to sleep. The biggest thing is to get her to learn that she has her own bed and she needs to sleep in it. You have got to let her cry it out and she will eventually fall asleep though. It is hard to listen to your baby cry like that but it is something that needs to be done. After some time she will learn to fall asleep on her own again.
D.

I am 31 and have been married for almost 12 yrs. My husband and I have 3 boys ages 10,7 and 4.

You are so not alone. My daughter had much the same problem with one of her kids, can't remember which one off hand, but she tried this.
Where a soft night shirt or pajamma to bed . When your little one cries wrap her in the shirt nice and snug. Mommy's scent will be on it and mommy's warmth. hold her for a little while then lay her down still wrapped or at least very close to the shirt.She'll feel and smell you and it should help her adjust to sleepng alone again. I really hope this helps, Good luck with your little darling, God Bless.

Congratulations, Victoria.

Do not berate yourself for sleeping with the baby. Many women do that! As you point out - it becomes a matter of sleep, which in my opinion, in order to be a good mom, is vital! I've slept with everyone of my 4 children. Usually I would nurse, they would fall asleep in my arms, I'd put them in the crib and they'd begin to wail. I know exactly how you feel. Most times - especially in the beginning - I'd cradle them and head to the spare bed to sleep with the child. I'm not a flopper and I had no fear of suffocating my child.

Eventually they have to cry it out. Training your child to sleep is a process and it is up to you when you begin the process. It is not easy - especially with your first child. Try putting her on her side, bundled. My children liked to be all cozy with pressure around them (bundled). If you want her to begin sleeping on her own, you have to let her be on her own and go through the crying. There is truth to putting her down while she is still awake. However, I don't think I did this when they were only 8 weeks old.

There isn't a magic formula. Routine does help. Nursing, play time/awake time, then nap. Repeat. It helps them develop a cycle. The book Babywise proposes this. It didn't help me particularly, but many women swear by it.

Also, begin a nighttime routine: bath, PJS, nurse, books, bed.

Good luck,
S.

Unfortunately, you just have to let her cry it out. I had to do that with first child after he was sleeping in his crib in our room until he was 8 months. I'd put him in his crib and walk out of the room to somewhere I couldn't hear him crying. You can go in the room every 15 to 20 minutes to comfort her but do not pick her up. She will eventually give up and go to sleep on her own - this may take an our or two each nigh. And it may take a few days and even a week to get her to fall asleep on her own or not cry when you lay her down but you have to stay strong.

First of all, DON'T let her sleep in your bed. Not only is it a hard habit to break, but it is extremely unsafe. After her bottle, when it is time for her to lay down, rock her/hold her for a certain amount of time, then lay her down with some soothing music and leave the room. Let her cry. She will eventually, get tired and go to sleep. It is perfectly fine to let her cry herself to sleep. She will eventually learn the routine of bottle, rock, then to bed. Most of all, just be patient, and walk away if you can't stand to listen to her cry. If you go in and pick her up, she will learn how to get your attention. I'd cry too if I knew that was how I was going to be coddled and rocked. Wouldn't you? LOL!

What worked for me was putting my sons bassinet beside my bed then I put his infant car seat inside it. I padded it and placed it in a reclined position. I swaddled him tightly in a blanket then after I fed him and he was asleep I was able to place him carefully in his padded car seat which held him in such a position as he thought I was still holding him. He was not yet big enough to wiggle out of it, so I did not strap him in. Good luck!

I feel for you...good luck at work on Monday. I recommend you go to the book store and buy On Becoming Babywise. It is a quick read and you will have your daughter sleeping by herself by Sunday. It starts with having a consistant day everyday, so having a happy baby. It has your baby learn to fall asleep in a crib without crying at all. How? Well, you put her down 1 and 1/2 hours after the beginning of her feeding, instead of right after she is done eating (food coma). This causes her to sleep better and then will sleep a lone. Anyway, good luck!

My daughter had collic. Every night for about 3 - 4 months I was up rocking her almost all night while my husband slep. I would cry some nights because all I wanted was sleep. If she fell asleep in my arms, I had a hard time keeping her asleep when I put her down (even at other times). It's hard, but I put her crib so I could check on her at times, but not so she could see me. I would let her cry during the day, but would check on her now and then to see that she was ok. It's hard, but try that during the nap time for awhile. Maybe then after awhile, you can do it at night, too. Everyone is different and all we can do is let you know how we handled it. Only a couple times did we have her in bed with us. You could try a hot water bottle or a heating pad (on low) if you think it has to do with body warmth she seems to need. Good luck. Hope I have been of some help.

Hello. I did the same thing with my daughter. She slept with me for a long time and I suffered. I have read this and tried it for myself. It is the 3 day rule. All habits can be broken in 3 days. You are going tohave to let her cry. Put her down in her crib and let her cry for a while. It really should only take 3 nights to break her, but everytime you pick her up when she cries at bedtime, you are going to have to start over.

I got the aquarium that hangs on the side of the crib for my son. We've had it since birth. For a few weeks, he wouldn't have anything to do with his crib. Now he goes to sleep on his own. He's old enough now that when he wakes up, he will sometimes turn it back on until he's ready to get up. Usually he's asleep before it ever stops playing the first time, at night and naptime. Distraction has worked very well for me, so far. I just have to make sure I always have batteries in the house. By the way, the aquarium does have a volume control which is really nice. Most toys are to loud anymore, I think. Good luck! If this doesn't work for you, I would have to say that a previous post had it. Putting your daughter to bed very drowsy but not asleep. I sure hope something offered here works for ya. All my support, Shannon
PS. Make sure the bedroom is dark enough during naptime. To distinguish the difference, I open the blinds up when I get my son up and close them when it is time to go to sleep. Also, the door is closed when it is time to sleep.

my son did the same thing what helped me is i went to babies r us and bought the infant wedge that has the mothers heartbeat in it as well. i believe i paid 30 or 40 bucks and it helped wonderfully. it also has the side pads to snug to her sides. if you dont want to spend the money have you tried wrapping her tightly in blanket? that should also work. will help her feel snug and secure just like she was when she was in your belly.

hope this helps C.

My firstborn did the same thing...I had to make sure he was SOUNDLY asleep before laying him down and then had to very carefully lay him down. We also found one of those heartbeat sounds machines helped...if he heard a heartbeat he was more content. I don't know if they still make them, but it is worth looking into. Also, if you don't have a wedge in her crib, that helped as well. He liked to feel secure, the wedge on either side of him made him feel like he was still being held. I wish you well!

Hi there. My husband and I have a 13 week old that has had troubles sleeping in her bed since we brought her home. We tried everything. I finally realized that she was having major belly issues when she is put down on her back. She was spitting up a lot. We now have her on Soy Formula. That didn't totally fix the problem though. We have to get her to sleep, sometimes takes a good hour and then as gently and quietly as possible lay her in her crib. We have to keep a hand on her head and belly for a moment so she thinks we are still holding her. She will now sleep.... sometimes it takes more than one try. Although, until last week, she wouldn't go back down after a nighttime feeding. I have to put her in a bouncy seat next to my bed from about 3am to 7am. She sleeps silently then. If that doesn't work, I hold her in a chair with my feet up and we both sleep together. This can be dangerous, but you do what you have to do to sleep. I still think it is the belly issue and not wanting to lay back down. She does not take naps in her crib. She takes them either in a swing, bouncy seat or carseat. They are all upright and seem to make her sleep better. Hope this helps... good luck

Victoria,
First of all, DOn't ever say "shame on me" for letting your baby sleep with you!! Many people will always tell you that what you are doing is a bad idea, but you have to learn to smile and nod. You do WHATEVER you need to do so you AND your baby can sleep. Let me relieve you of whatever guilt you are feeling. All babies are different and respond differently to different things. When I had my first baby I tried to go by a certain book that EVERYONE I knew went by and swore by! It was a lot about "scheduling" your baby, etc. Well, my baby did not fit into the little scheduling thing this book talked about. It said "if you do A + B, C will happen" (In a nutshell). Well, C never happened with my child. So I assumed I was a terrible mother and beat myself up all the time. By the time my son was 6 months old, he was still waking up 6-8 times in the night. I have since thrown the book away.
Next, a book that WAS HELPFUL to me, and very educational, was called "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" - Dr. Marc Weisblueth (sp?). The newest edition is best (light blue cover), but it REALLY helped me, and didn't make me feel like a bad mom about anything. He reviews several different strategies for helping your child learn to sleep. I felt like it was non - judgemental and helpful. I finally bought it because I referenced it so much, but you can probably get it at your library. I highly recommend it! Believe me, I understand the stress of having your child not sleep. I am on child # 3 and I still use this book a lot for her. She is a year now, but sleeps through the night and has just started taking really good afternoon naps for me. I have all three of my kids (6,4,1) in bed by 7:30 (usually) so my husband and I can have some time to be grown ups together.:)
Hope this helps. If not, just smile and nod.:)
J. O'Brien

I had the same problem with my son. He would sleep in my arms but as soon as I put him down in his crib he would scream. My doctor told me it is ok to let them cry for a few. Try putting your daughter down. Let her cry for a minute, then go in and calm her down. Dont pick her up. Then walk out each time letting more time go by just to get her used to sleeping in the bed. If you pick her up when she is crying she's going to know if she crys enough mommy's going to come pick her up. I know its hard to let or listen to her cry but you need to; to a point. Also, try playing music for her that way she feels like someone is there. Good Luck!! Congrats!!

You didn't say how long you let her cry when you put her down, but if she cries 5-10 minutes, that's OK. It is good for her, it will wear her out and she will fall asleep. Make sure in the daytime she is getting enough stimulation, noise, talking, getting played with and a bath in the evening is great for wearing a baby out. Do the same routine at the same time every night- bathe at 8:00, feed at 8:30 and to bed at 9:00 for example. She will get used to the routine and soon she will not be crying when you put her to bed.
I am a mother of 3, I did this with all 3 and they never slept in my bed.
I will add that if she cries longer than 10 minutes, you could go in and talk soothingly to her and pat or rub her back, but do not pick her up. Then, leave the room and give it another 5-10 minutes, etc. The only time my kids cried longer than that was when they were sick.
Good luck to you!

my 7 month old has started the same thing. The only thing that has worked for me is the swaddle blanket that velcros together. I still use it to keep him asleep throught the night.