My 11 Year Old Says That She Hates Her Life.

I am sorry, it may not be the case, but I want to ask you this: Does she hate her life when you don't please her the way she wants??? Does she hate her life because she doesn't have the same things as her friends? I ask this because my best friend's daughter always says so when her mom doesn't want to give her something or so. Also she says that she hates her life when she finds hard to study or doing a project, a task, etc. She gets upset and cries or just gets plain mad. If it is so, it is time to re direct her emotions and teach her how to cope with difficulties.
A. :)

I felt that way at 11.There was a lot of awful stuff happening that I was not emotionally equipped to handle. My parents knew a fragment of what was happening but didn't know there were options like counseling out there to help kids like me. Back at that time and place, therapy was for "crazy" people, and I wasn't crazy, just miserable. To top it off, I couldn't talk to them about it because I feared worse than anything else their disappointment and seeming inability to fix any of what was going on.

I think it's great that you're going to talk to her doctor. Take advantage of the resources out there to teach her coping skills and find her the help she needs to have confidence and find the joy in life. As long as you are looking out for her and continue to seek her needed help, she should come out in good shape.

Depends on the child and her situation. I think it is normal for teens/preteens to be emotional, and "whoa is me" but if it's extreme, figure out why.
Is she being bullied at school? Struggling w/ grades? Having a hard time w/ her physical appearance for some reason? There can be a lot of reasons for this. Some normal, some not. Its great you are discussing this with a professional. Also be there for her no matter what. Even if it's exhausting. Make sure she knows she loved and supported and that you'd do anything you can to help her. Teen years can be terrible.
Good luck and hang in there!

Hormones.. Has she started her period?

Preteens and teens can be very dramatic.

The best thing to to do is to get her to tell you exactly what she thinks is going on..

Maybe bored?, maybe a little nervous about returning to school in the fall.. Homework and the drudgery of set schedules..

Maybe feels like she is missing out on some sort of excitement this summer? Missing her many friends?

Is she a writer? Get her to write in a journal or draw picture..

If you feel like there is a problem with actual depression, then you can speak with a professional..

Ever see the movie "Moonstruck" ? with Cher and Nicholas Cage rated PG but has some adult situations.....Anyway. I love one line when Cher tells Nicholas Cage "SNAP out of it!" As she slaps him.. He is all doom and gloom..

So in our house when you become all maudlin We say
"SNAP OUT OF IT!" in a Brooklyn accent.. .. cracks us up every time.

I didn't feel that way at 11.
My daughter just turned 12 last month, and nearest I can tell, she didn't feel that way.

That's all I have. I cannot speak for any other 11 year olds about what they FEEL. Some may feel that way and never say anything. So you never know, I guess. But I would GUESS, that no, it isn't just the age nor would I consider it normal. Maybe for a child who was known as a drama queen her entire existence or something. But any other child? I'd say no, not normal.

I think there are many things to "hate" about being a pre-teen girl!

Mean girls, puberty, boys, body image, school, difficulties in dealing with parents...I'll stop before I bring myself too many bad memories! ;-)

The difficulty is that an 11-year-old is not emotionally mature enough to "rise above" the craziness, and can often get caught squarely in the middle of it. Which can lead to feelings of "hating" the whole package (life).

It's great if you can find her someone to talk to (like if she can talk to a doctor without you being in the room with them).

I do not think you need to get TOO nervous about this, though - I bet there is a good chance that it is just the usual stuff. She'll grow up to be a wonderful woman - but getting there is rough.

What is to love about her life??

Does she have friends? Does she have hobbies that you and your husband help to nurture? Do you do things fun as a family? Are you involved in any service organizations that will help her to put life in perspective..and help her feel she has power over bringing joy to others' lives?

I think it is great that you are going to talk to a doctor about this. Way to go M. for reaching out for help here..and in the medical community. Let her have some time alone to talk to the doctor. Our son,13, trusts his pediatrician so much and can talk to her about anything. He hasn't shared anything yet with her that he hasn't already chatted to us about. But...maybe there will be a day he feels he has no one...but this doctor could keep him on the right track.

I don't know how serious your daughter is when she says this, or how often the anger and crying keeps her from enjoying life. When she is unable to find ways to cope through anger,crying and sadness...then she needs to learn skills from another source.

I wish you the best. It is hard being a mom and watching our children struggle.

She is approaching..or could be in the throws of puberty right now. Hormones are a beast to deal with at this age. Heck..I have a hard time with PMS and have to talk myself down from fits of impatience each month. It is so hard on the immature pre teen..and teen.

Open communication will be the key to unlocking the door to your daughter's heart. Listen without too much talking on your part. Spend time with her doing things SHE likes to do. A walk, go get a smoothie, rent a movie and pop a big bowl of popcorn. Let her enjoy time with you...let her open up on her terms.

Good luck and best wishes!!

She is 11, of course she hates her life. Not a kid, not an adult, hormonal, friends get clicks. She is not old enough to understand it will get better. Love her, support her, be empathetic and it will pass. Not easy those tween years. It sure I would cart her off to a doctor. Think she just needs understanding and she needs to know its part of getting to be a teenager.

This is just so sad. I can't imagine that this is normal. My daughter is 10 1/2 and seems to love life. She frequently tells me what a great day she had or she is so excited about X, Y and Z. My daughter rarely is angry or sad.
Does your daughter have friends, hobbies and activities?

Pre Teen years are rough! Have you thought of counseling? Girls self esteem group....maybe she has stuff going on that she doesnt know how to talk about. I am a big advocate of counseling...I really believe it helps.