Love & Marriage--then Separate Bedrooms?

Hail to separate bedrooms!

My husband is a light sleeper and sleeps with a fan for white noise.

We both snore.

I like to fall asleep with the TV and he can't stand it.

Have I said enough yet? Or shall I move on to the blanket and pillow issue, the fact he lets his cats on his bed issue, I like many pillows, he has too many blankets, I mean, I could go on and on.

It's truly a proven fact that people who sleep in the same bed do not get the quality of rest that people who sleep individually.

He does his thing, I do mine. And yes, we are just as intimate as people in the same room.

I don't think it's sad at all. I think it's the smartest thing possible for many couples. And think about it, when either of us are sick, the other one doesn't have to worry about sleeping with a sicky.

Different strokes for different folks!
Just because you don't think it would work well for you doesn't mean it doesn't work well for other people.
And just because they sleep in different bedrooms doesn't mean they don't have sex.

I was just talking to my friend about this exact thing today, about separate sleepers, and then the new houses being made with two masters. yeah, im only 29 so the idea of separate bdrms, seems deppressing and like a bad idea that can cause a rift. But i am still in my 20s after all. I dont know a single elderly couple who sleep in the same bed. I assume after awhile, after menopause, erectile dysfuntion, sleep apnea, rls...etc,,,,kick in with age, ill understand it a little better.

Probably around the same time i eat dinner at 5

M., my husband and I have had separate bedrooms for many years. It saved our marriage. I probably ought to add that I am married to THE Champion Award-Winning Snorer of the Western United States. Sleeping pills, breathing strips, or ear plugs don't even make a blip on the snore screen.

So I sleep upstairs; he sleeps downstairs. I can still hear him snoring through my floor. But at least it's far enough away to let me sleep. I am a much better wife when I sleep at night. Now that he's older and has major back problems, he gets better sleep at night this way, too.

The idea of separate bedrooms conjures up a vision of separate lives. But it isn't necessarily so. Separate bedrooms really aren't anything new. They just haven't been popular for a while. The thing we have to do differently is to work extra-hard on communication since we aren't geographically together as much as other married couples. But everyone has to work on communication anyhow, no matter where their beds are.

Why isn't it sad? Because we don't lock one another out of our bedrooms. There are other things people do in bedrooms that don't involve sleeping. Oh, wait... I'll bet you know that. :^)

I don't sleep in the same room as my husband. He snores like a BEAR! When i had my last son, 5 years ago, he would wake the baby and myself up all night long. That's when he got his own space to sleep. He would snore, I would poke, he would snore, I would push, he would snore, I would kick...it went on and on until he would get so mad that he would stomp out of the room.
We have been happily married for almost 8 years, have two boys with our daughter on the way (3 more weeks to go!). our sex life has been fine and I don't think it's sad at all! Women that say that they have somehow learned how to deal with their husband's snoring have not had to deal with mine! lol
L.

Yay for seperate rooms! I am so happy to see all the people who do this-nice to know that I am not alone. My husband and I realized that we just do not get the same quality sleep together as we get alone. He snores and I am a super light sleeper. Its just easier to sleep apart. By this time in our marriage we don't need to suffer sleeping next to eachother just to show we care.

I know you have gotten alot of responses already, but I just figured I would put in my 2 cents. lol.
Everyone has the right to do what they feel is best in their own marriage and for their relationship. However, my husband snores loudly, makes it hard to get to sleep sometimes, but I could never imagine not having him in bed with me. I hate it when he is in the livingroom on the couch 20 ft away, let alone down the hall in another room... I love my husband and I love being able to roll over next to him in the middle of the night or have him roll over and put his arms around me. :)

My mom and dad have not slept in the same room as each other for several years. He has severe back problems and is a very light sleeper and my mom is a very heavy sleeper. They found they got better night sleeps when they slept seperately. They will now sleep together only when they have more people in the house then beds. They will go into each others rooms and in the mornings or before they go to sleep at night and lay together and I do not think that they it has mad their relationship sad. They love each other more then many families I know that share a bed. He would do anything for my mom and she is very grateful for him.

On a similar note, me and my boyfriend hardly ever sleep in the same bed. He is a night owl and will stay up all night long. When he works, he works overnight shifts and I'm usually waking up when he is going to sleep. Since I've been pregnant we'ver been completely unable to share a bed because I am so uncomfortable. Plus, before that, he is a perfectly still sleeper and I toss and turn all night long so I would wake him up when I moved around. He will come lay with me in the mornings and we have "cuddling" time. We are still very intimate, and again, I know he will be there for me through everything. I don't think a bed is what defines the love of a relationship, but the two people. If your still showing intimacy to each other in other ways, then who cares if you sleep in the same bed. It doesn't mean you love each other any less.

When you are young in the marriage it is fine to sleep together. After children and growing older sometimes things in life make changes for you. Have you ever tried to sleep with someone who moans and groans all night in a painfrul way because of recent surgery during recovery? Not a good night's sleep get me the couch quickly! Hubby wanted to know why I didn't want to sleep next to him and I told him you keep me awake and I can't sleep and work. We do share a bed again but it was rough going for about three months.

Yes, many people do sleep in separate rooms or in separate beds in the same room (California twin has two beds to make one big bed). But if the snoring and tossing and turning are too much it is time to find your own space to sleep comfortably. Intimacy can be anywhere in the house other than the bed.

I had relatives that had separate beds and slept quite comfortably and carried on a relationship.

Life is all in what you make it. Relationships and life change as we get older.

Happy dreams.

The other S.

No, I don't think it's sad - IF there are valid reasons two people can't share a bed, whether it's due to illness, snoring issues, different sleep habits, other health problems, whatever. And I don't really buy the argument that it affects intimacy either - intimacy is something that can happen in many different ways, every single day - a look, a touch, sharing a joke, working together to achieve a goal, just spending time together (and not necessarily in bed). The older I've gotten, the more I realize I need to take care of myself, and this includes getting a good night's sleep on a regular basis (and wearing comfortable shoes, but that's another topic - LOL) I suffered through my husband's snoring for years, which included many nights on the couch for me (I could still hear it downstairs with the bedroom door closed, that's how loud it was!). Eventually he was diagnosed with moderate to severe sleep apnea, and was given a CPAP machine, and now we're both sleeping much better (the machine provides "white noise" for me, and allows him to sleep without waking up so much). Although we never got to the point of separate bedrooms, I can certainly see where it can actually be beneficial for some couples. Let's face it, when you're tired you just can't function properly, whether it's at work, taking care of your kids, or feeling energetic enough for sex.

My husband had to move to the guest bedroom about a year ago because he snores and I have a lot of sleeping issues... I would rather sleep by myself and get better sleep, than to sleep with him snoring and be totally cranky from getting no sleep...

I didn't read the other posts, so sorry if this is a repeat.

I would LOVE my own room. Think about it, you probably share a room with a sibling, grow up and get a room in your own place with roomates, then maybe have your own place, then you're back to sharing a room with someone! I have less personal space than my kids (who each have their own room) do. I sleep better when I have the bed to myself.

Now, that's not to say I wouldn't want my husband to come visit me in my room quite a bit ; )

I suffered through snoring and tossing and turning for the first 10 years of my marriage. Then I sent my hubs into the guest room to sleep. OMG have things improved. I actually SLEEP now, and the intimacy hasn't changed at all - we still are very, very close. We don't "officially" have separate bedrooms, but everybody is MUCH happier in the morning when he sleeps in the guest room.

I don't think it's sad when it's a purely sleep reason; maybe if I was answering this question before I got married, or before I had kids, I would have a different answer, but after having kids, I know how much sleep means to me! I've never been in a situation where I would need to sleep apart from my husband, but I can understand that snoring, one of the partners on call for work, or whatever the reasons, can disturb sleep, and everyone is in a better mood when they're rested. I would guess that couples who sleep apart need to "remember" to stay close emotionally and physically though; it might be too easy to drift apart because there isn't the sharing of intimate space anymore- I would miss the conversations that we have before sleep too- but if two people love each other and are committed to a relationship, I don't think the logistics of sleep would have anything to do with their marriage!

Yes, it CAN BE sad. My EX-husband snored, had extremely bad restless leg syndrome, and would not get any medical help for these issues. These issues don't necessarily have anything to do with age, or a couple's desire to sleep together, or what is happening in their sex lives. Separate bedrooms could SAVE a marriage.

Have you ever tried to sleep in a bed where your partner, who weighs almost twice what you do, lifts up a leg and SLAMS it down on the bed every 20 SECONDS all night long!! THAT is Restless Leg Syndrome. Oh yeah, and then snores so loudly you can hear him from two floors away in the house when both doors are shut. Then refuses to exercise, or lose weight, or see a doctor about these issues.

What I can tell you is that it is difficult to feel loving towards a partner who is keeping you from getting any sleep unless you move to the couch, and is angry with you if you wake them up to ask them to move to the couch. If the house has a separate room, then just acknowledge that this is necessary and get a good bed in there and use it! Intimacy and sex can happen any time of day in any location, but sleep usually is best at night in bed.

Not sad at all. Between my husband and my dog, the volume level of the snoring in my bedroom is intolerable. When my husband and I got engaged, I asked him if he would mind if we continued to sleep in separate rooms (I was his roommate before we became involved) because I like my space when I sleep and his snoring is god-awful. A few years ago we bought a king size bed and now I take sleeping pills for insomnia that help me sleep hard enough that the snoring is tolerable.

It's not a direct reflection on the relationship. Sometimes having separate rooms saves a relationship. It's possible to be completely and totally in love and not be able to share a bedroom with the other person.

my man and i have our own rooms, however most of the time he sleeps with me in my room. But all of his stuff is in his room, and mine in my room. Its so wonderful having my own space...so wonderful!!!

It seems like most people think it's a fine idea. For the ones who don't, I think it's a bit unfair to criticize if you don't have trouble sleeping etc. Take a sleeping pill every night for what, 40 years?? That's healthy... I can't sleep in the same room as my husband bc he snores absurdly loudly, he often has bad stomach issues so burps a ton, he's super tall and therefore weighs something like 240lbs so cant possibly move around quietly all night, etc. And then throw in that I have always been a horribly light sleeper (ask my college roommates) and stress about sleeping and yet need a lot of sleep and it's a disaster. So what is better for my marriage - separate bedrooms or me being exhausted and therefore weepy and/or crabby all the time or getting some sleep so I can be a normal person? Even in my own bed I have to use ear plugs, have a fan and take sleeping pills sometimes to relax my mind. I WISH I could sleep through anything etc but I've tried and can't. My husband wasn't happy at first but he's gotten used to it and I think realizes it's nicer for him to not always be worried about waking me. Also, I have to get to work much earlier than him so he goes to bed later. What's the point in him tiptoeing around to not wake me when he comes to bed? If the point is to not disturb the other person, what's the point or benefit in being there? I think our marriage is very similar to lots of people who share a bed. I think it's unfair for people to say it's sad. Typically people do it bc they just don't feel like they have any other choice!

I think it is sad too :(

I think it's ludicrous unless you're 80 years old! Seriously, there are things people can do about snoring. I know RLS exists (I had it while pregnant), but I'm sure the percentage of cases is not nearly high enough for it to cause 2 master bedrooms to be a desirable feature in a home. If a married couple is sleeping separately, it's either due to a serious health issue (not snoring) or they are having marital problems.

My opinion is...whatever works. It would be sad for you. I can appreciate that. But if it works for others, power to them, as my mom would say. : )

Yes I think its sad. i couldnt imagine saying "good night" and then walking to my own room. Thats crazy. I would just be the first to go to sleep if snoring is an issue and I would take a sleeping pill. :)

I think it's awesome. As someone who lives with a snorer AND a dog who likes to share the bed...I WISH I had my own bedroom! Doesn't mean we don't love each other or want to have a great sex life. Quite the contrary...I would be MORE inclined to have sex if I had a better night sleep afterwards!

I don't think it's sad. To each is own. One should not judge others, especially in matters of the bedroom. When I was growing up my grandparents had separate bedrooms.

I can see some of the appeal, say if you have 2 totally different work schedules? Or the restless leg syndrome...my sister has that and she DRIVES me crazy! I do not know how my BIL sleeps in the same bed with her! LOL!

I can't see my hubby and I doing it...but ya never know? Maybe when we are in our 70's or 80's (like my grandparents) it will be different? Who knows?

I currently still sleep with my hubby for five year but I can tell you if his snoring gets any worse then it is...at the moment I can push him to his right side and he will stop. Anyhow if it gets worse I think I might part ways at night. I can't stand it! LOL he tried telling me it wasn't so bad until I recorded him snoring. He is surprised I have lasted as long as I have sleeping with him. Now I know I will miss my Leg support at night because I tend to use him as a pillow :)

Oprah had a couple on recently that had separate rooms also and the ideas behind it sounded great for the most part...they sleep well alone had issues sleeping together, still had sex and layed together sometimes, and also had children. The psychologist she had on said while it sounded all fine and dandy, it could lead to disconnection and a loss of real intimacy (not sex) in the relationship.

My X husband and I slept in separate beds more then we slept in the same bed. We never really grew together during our marriage. I could have even gotten used to his intense snoring but he was WAY to much of a jerk to deal with. I think sharing a bed is one of the greatest things in marriage! I know many married couples who don't share the same bed. My mom and dad have not shared the same bed for 30 years.

My husband and I sleep in separate rooms. We WOULD sleep in the same room (separate beds though) but he co-sleeps with our son and I am on some medication for chronic headaches so I can't sleep with our LO.

Hubby works ALL day and only spends a short time with our DS before he goes to sleep. Then they share a bed at night, that's their bonding time!

My husband and I tried sleeping in the same bed but it's too uncomfortable. He's a hog and I'm too restless. Besides, bedsharing is relatively new, in the last century or so. Even room sharing!

At the end of the day it's about comfort and getting a good nights sleep, not about how much or little you love each other!

... Well that is YOUR opinion isn't it? Our marriage is just fine, we get along better than most couples and we all get a good nights sleep. Once our son is ready for his own room, we'll move my bed into the master bedroom and share the room. Snoring is no longer an issue as we both wear ear plugs.

Well now that I am 6 moths pregnant it is really hard for me to fall sleep and stay sleep. My husband moves a LOT and snores, so one day I told him we should try to sleep in separate bedrooms. Well, the room was so quite and the bed so still that I couldn't sleep either. It's so weird because I get angry for not sleeping the whole night through, but when he left that night I couldn't sleep at all! So I told him to come back to bed with me and we are back to the same old routine, I wake up to go to the bathroom and I wake him up, he snores and I wake up, but it is so much better knowing he is besides me because at least I get to sleep 4 hours at a time. So I know I can't have an arrangement like that with my hubby, I'm too used to him waking me up all night and I would miss it too much to be able to sleep.

Sometimes those separate rooms are the only way a couple can stay together! My husband was hitting me in his sleep. Now I have my own room. I can finally sleep through the night. It has improved my health and attitude. No more sleep deprivation! :)

I think a separate bedroom would be the greatest thing ever. As soon as one of my kids clears out, I'm sending hubby in there. I'm tired of being snored to death. (And I literally mean death. I'm sure he's taken years off my life due to all the sleep he's deprived me of.)

Separate bedrooms would be awesome in my house, but my husband doesn't like the idea. I have horrible trouble sleeping and find myself reading a lot in the middle of the night with just my little book light. Also, I love going to sleep with the TV on, my husband wakes up really early, he likes to have lights on until we go to sleep and I like it dark with just the TV. We are talking about getting a new bed and have actually discussed separate beds. We love each other, have a good sex life, but when the time comes for sleeping, we have completely different habits. There are reports out there (I know you can find a report to support anything these days) that say separate beds and separate rooms may make a marriage stronger. If couples are getting enough sleep or good sleep, they are angrier and tend to take it out on each other.

I think it puts a dent in the marriage. It makes them grow apart. Thus, affecting the romance and bond they have together.

No I don't think its sad. To each their own. We sleep in the same bed probably about 5 out of 7 nights a week. The other couple nights I usually crash on the couch, which I sleep great on =) My hubby and I have very different sleep habits. I love to fall asleep to the tv and read in bed. He needs it pitch black and silent. I also am not a cuddler and so even in the same bed we will sleep with different comforters. We just sleep better when we have our own space. And it doesn't affect our intimacy or sex life---there are other places besides the bed at night where we can get together, kwim =)

I think Separate bedrooms is the most brilliant idea ever invented! Why didnt they think of this sooner??

Anyways, If and when I get married, im definately going to do the separate bedroom "thing" as well. Actually, the "separate bedroom thing" has been around for decades--it began with the "grandma's and grandpa's" of our country sleeping separately when they hit their 70's and 80's. It was almost an automatic thing, and still is. Now, however, we're simply moving it down a couple decades....:):) Mac.

My next home will have this feature if we can afford it.
He has medical equipment that goes all night long> Plus he comes to bed two to six hours after I do, then sleeps much later.
I would LOVE this feature as well as seperate bathrooms.
We have a wheelchair floor plan and there is no door in the bathroom. It just opens up to the bedroom. He spends 2-6 hours on the toilet so he is in there all morning. I really hate this lack of privacy, though I use the guest bath.

Hi M.,

My husband and I occasionally sleep in separate beds. I have a sleep disorder and sometimes I don't sleep at all. I toss and turn and finally get up and go in another room to read or watch tv or do some yoga. When I don't sleep I have a hard time focusing, producing and being pleasant. When I do sleep well I am a highly effective member of society. When I am in a good sleeping pattern I need to complete my sleep cycle. My husband gets up at 4:30 to go to work which wakes me up and then I don't get a full nights sleep.

I am a much better person when I sleep. It isn't sad that we sleep in separate bedrooms. It's sad that I have such a hard time sleeping.

Honestly, I don't understand why this is a topic that anyone should be concerned about. We all do things differently. It doesn't make it wrong or sad.

I don't like the separated rooms, I can't stand not being able to hear the kids in their rooms if we are in ours so I sleep in another room sometimes just to keep our 4 year old from creating havoc.

My dad snored but my mom sleeping in another room had little to do with her being able to rest because when he snored the windows rattled, you could hear him outside. I think it was the restless legs with her.

It's funny but I think the Jonas brother who got married has a separate bedroom from his new wife due to snoring.

http://www.celebuzz.com/kevin-jonas-wife-sleep-separate-s...

I like my own room! Why cant I be married and still have my own space? For those who say its for snoring....well let me tell ya that snoring is peaceful when you worry about the one you love! Like a baby crying

I can understand it for short term problems, but I would never want separate bedrooms forever.
For the first year my SO slept on the couch 5/7 days of the week because the baby slept in bed with me (well when I was home with her...I did a lot of traveling). I thought it was great sleeping next to him when we put her in her own big girl bed. I missed his snoring (and he snores LOUD), his tossing and turning, his kicking legs, his taking all the covers, etc.
I guess to each their own, but it's just not for us =)

Well I have heard & read articles about this online... it not necessarily being all negative or that the marriage is bad....

Me, my Husband is so picky when he sleeps and he's so tall/big that he takes up the entire bed. And then I am on the edge of the other side. He can't sleep if any movement/noise/blankets are not to his liking. SO irritating. I basically have to sleep like a statue... so that HE can sleep well. Then I can't. So many times, I just go to the sofa and sleep. I tell him, he is just to picky... and he doesn't think so.
SO irritating.

My hubbs snores, and is a restless sleeper. Nothing makes me crankier than when I am kept awake, and I take a Tylenol pm almost every night to help me sleep through it. There is a story that circulates among my friends that when I was pregnant, I kinda maybe tried to smother him with a pillow to stop him from breathing too loud. About a month ago, he hurt his back and ended up spending like 4 nights sleeping downstairs in the recliner. I thought I would *looooove* it! Funny thing though, I really missed him at night! It was so weird to kiss him goodnight, and say bye to him. Never thought I would miss him so much!

I think its very sad. Part of being married is learning to deal with the snoring, rolling over eachother in bed kind of issues etc. I guess for some people it would be beneficial to have 2 separate bedrooms to get sleep, but to me I think your marriage would suffer immensely and wouldn't be that great. What about intimacy and bonding, sleeping and cuddling together at night---would be wierd to be married and sleeping in a different bedroom then my hubby. I wouldn't like it. You may as well be single!

I agree that it is sad. I have sever sleep apnea and I use a bi pap machine.

My moms and step dad do not share a room due to his snoring. I would never want to be separate, I hate sleeping alone! I love lying next to my hubby and hearing him breath, even if he does snore a little :)

Hi M.~

I do agree that on some level, it is sad that married couples are choosing to sleep in seperate rooms. But to be honest, and I'm not even married yet, I am starting to think more and more that it's not that bad of an idea.

And my issues are not that my fiance snores, or has restless leg syndrome, but that *I* have sleeping issues. I have a host of pain-type problems (my shoulders, knees, neck, back - yes, I'm a wreck!) and if I can't spread out, I get terrible stabbing pains that most definitely wake me up, multiple times a night. We share a normal full size bed now, and I've already made it clear that when we move into our home in the spring, I *NEED* a king size bed (can't fit it now.) I think I'll try that route before I move into my own room. I do like snuggling and feeling him next to me, and I don't want intimacy interfered with by us simply retreating to our own rooms. But I DO NEED better sleep. I often wake up feeling like I hadn't slept at all. And on the rare occasions where fiance is either out of town or sleeps on the couch (he had to for a short while due to an injury - slept on the recliner), I got much better sleep because I could spread out and not have to stay in limited positions in my tiny little spot.

So, all that said, I can't wait for my king sized bed.

Reading some of the posts and thinking about some discussions I have had with other couples, I have come to this conclusion:

When couples who love each other and enjoy sleeping in the same bed, their love and enjoyment of each other continues and it enhances their daily life when they are together and apart.

When couples who love each other, but do not enjoy sleeping in the same bed ( either health or snoring or restling leg or light sleeper, etc), their love and enjoyment of each other takes a hit and it negatively affects their daily life when they are together and apart.

So, as strange as it seems and while couples may not have started out their marriage ever thinking they would sleep apart, it seems that couples in love can still have a great marriage and sleep in separate beds.

I sleep in the same bed with my husband of 30 years. Having a Queen size bed and being able to fall asleep within 5 minutes of laying my head down, has enabled me to deal with the one thing that would separate us.... his snoring. I do have off nights, as does he, but nothing that would keep us apart at night. However, I have been married long enough and am happy and secure enough, that if things ever changed, unbearable snoring or other health issues, I would have absolutely no qualms about splitting up during sleep time.

I sometimes feel like i sleep alone, I go to bed early and usually get up for work while he is still sleeping. so we aren't having a lot of cuddle time and don't discuss our day togetherin bed before saying good night. so i'm because of that i guess you could make separate bedrooms work, but it does seem to me that there would be ways around the snoring or what ever, and I really like knowing that my LO is right there beside me while i'm sleeping.

Wealthy people have almost always had separate bedrooms in nearly every culture throughout history.

When my second was born, I stayed with her in our first floor bedroom while recovering from my csection. It has a full bath, and I was able to avoid the steps for weeks. When I moved back into the master, hubby moved downstairs. DD was a terrible sleeper, and she screamed all night for a year. My husband got used to having his own room and bath, but then my son began to call it daddys bedroom. I put my foot down and he came back. I don't judge couples with separate rooms, there are MANY benefits. But, for my marriage, we're sucking it up and sharing a room. Even if he is a light statuesqe sleeper, and I am a snoring, log rolling cover thief. Even if he is a total slob that trashes our shared bathroom and bedroom space every moring and night - not even able to close drawers - walking out of his clothes in a path across the entire floor in the morning and again at night - leaving open toiletries and coffee cups all over the bathroom. I still love that guy, and I feel closer to him by being closer to him. Plus, I feel safer at night. Plus, I couldn't have that big mess downstairs anymore;)

my mom and dad always slept in separate rooms. my mom and step dad slept in separate rooms too.

personally, i enjoy sleeping with my husband and i would hate not to be able to. However, when he is sick and snoring up a storm i take the couch. there is no point in me lying next to him and not sleeping because his snoring is so loud.

Consistant sleeping apart leads to separation of the relationship ... end of story. My honey sleeps better on a couch many nights so we put a couch right up to the bed if he feels he wants to move to the couch he can and we are still sleeping together ... there are fixes for many of these issues that cause sleeping apart and really, I get it for work nights if it really is a major issue, but the other nights you better be in the same bed.

For my marriage, it would be sad. We sleep in the same bed and when I am sick or can't sleep in bed because I'm healing from a c-section, my husband will move his stuff out to the couch to be by me! I love it.
On the other hand, his parents haven't slept in the same room for years because his dad snores so much. She's in a room down the hall with both doors closed and she still has to wear earplugs! Luckily my husband did not inherit his dad's snoring(he snores, but not that bad!)
I sleep horribly when my husband is out of town and not in my bed with me. Interesting to see all the answers though. I thought more people would share rooms/beds then have answered so far.
~C.

Last year on Oprah, there was a couple who sleep in separate bedrooms and love it. Dr. Phil was on and told them that it is a mistake to take separate rooms because you miss out on the cuddle time and closeness of having your spouse's body next to you in bed all night. I agree with Dr. Phil. I think it is a bad idea. Separate bedrooms means that the couple will never fall asleep in each other's arms ever again. I feel like there are underlying issues when a married couple take separate rooms - there must be more going on than they are saying. I cannot imagine anything good coming out of separate bedrooms. Just get divorced then.

I did not read the other posts yet (over 45!), however, I want to say this, I used to have an aunt and uncle who slept separately, and they were married many, many years very happily. I prefer listening to my husband snore, but some don't.