Should I Get My Own Room?

I have my own room, I go to bed with DH and if I can tell its going to be a struggle to sleep, I just go lay down in my room and sleelp there. At first, my DH would ask "Why do you sleep in the other room" and I explained the reason, its not that big a deal to me, and after I explained it to him, he feels its not that big a deal either, we still go to bed together, we cuddle, he falls asleep, and (like with the child) I slip out of the room and go get my beauty sleep :)

I really like the days where couples had separate beds in the same room, lol, what a Great Idea!!

Maybe trying a bigger bed would help some of the problems. I used to end up in the guest room but it was never comfortable like my own room was.

your not alone....... Almost the same on my end -3 children. I am all for separate sleeping quarters!!! I'm not a snuggler anyway and I don't wake up frustrated and resenting him for things he can't help. It works great for him too.... in his case he has trouble falling asleep and I can't try to sleep as he watches the tube until he gets tired. I think it makes for a long happy relationship. One thing we haven't got figured out is the merital relations thing. I find he gets less loven because we just don't work on the same schedules. I stay up late on occasion so he knows he is loved. It has to be a mutual agreement though...... They used to do this back in the old days.

Hi! If you want to stay in the same bed as your husband I think there might be alternatives... if you are willing to give them a shot. If you think you'd be most comfortable sleeping in a bed by yourself then why not? I would think it would be best to talk to your husband about all of these and you 2 come up with a solution that you are both comfortable with. You don't want your husband to get the wrong idea and think things that aren't true if you start sleeping in a different room.

You could try:
- sleeping with ear plugs
- 2 twin or full size beds (either separated in the same room or pushed together)
- 1 King/Cal king bed
- 2 separtate flat sheets on bed with 2 separate blankets. That way if he pushes his off then he can push it onto the floor and not onto you.
- Breath Right strips work well for people who snore

Hi,
I don't have a full solution for you -- although maybe your husband should check out a sleep clinic to see if there is anything else going on that can be remedied (like sleep apnea). As for covers, I have a king size bed and I buy (always have with my husband) 2 twin size comforters. Although we do tend to share sheets and blankets (I suppose you could do the same thing with those if those became an issue) but then it allows you to have your own covers and still be in the same bed. If you want to united the bed in covers then you might try a quilt to cover the comforters during the day or something. Keep the comforters the same color.

I've never tried this but I've heard the sleep number beds are great because they are whatever firmness/softness you want. It would also seem that then when he is moving about maybe you wouldn't feel it so much because it's on his inner mattress? I know my mother got one and they LOVE It. I want to get one for our next matress purchase.

I guess I'd want to try to exhaust all options before I went to my own room but perhaps for a little while so you can catch up on sleep you should do this so you can better determine what you wish to do.

Best of luck
L.

Hi, I have been married for 17 years and I snore. My husband has been going to bed an hour earlier so that he is fast asleep when I go to bed. He will pull the sheets out from the end of the bed, no matter how far I tuck them under, so I have a seperate comforter for my side of the bed.
I know what sends me off to a fast sleep is to talk to the Lord about my day. By the time I get half way through my prayers, I start to drowse off...The old saying is "Don't count the sheep-just talk to the Savior.

Hope this helps...

Blessings,
C.

My husband and I have the same problem except that he usually wakes up at about 2 or 3 am and needs to turn the tv on to get back to sleep. Our solution is that I get the bedroom and he gets the other spare bedroom. It was hard at first but it came down to me getting sleep or not. The biggest problem we had was his snoring. I am also pregnant expecting our first child, so I am cherishing all the sleep I can get until the baby comes.

As long as his feelings aren't hurt, get your own room. Your marriage is more important than whether you are really lying next to him when he's asleep and won't even know you're there! Since you really enjoy getting ready for bed and sharing a bed, continue your going to bed process, but ones he's asleep, go to another room. You still share that time together, but you'll be a more loving and rested wife in the meantime. You CANNOT take care of your family or be a happy wife if you are sleep deprived. Do it for the sake of your family and DON'T feel guilty at all. Hopefully he'll understand.

My parents have been happily married for 30 years or so and they sleep in separate rooms. My mom snores and my dad has insomnia and is constantly up and down. They are honestly so much happier this way and they probably get along better! They both get better sleep. They still spend time together at night.
My suggestion would be to try it for a bit, but make sure to set aside some snuggle time and talk time and you can still get ready for bed together, etc. Just make the sleeping part be somewhere else. See how you feel after you try it and make whatever changes you feel work for you.

Getting your own room is not a bad idea. More couples, especially where both work in high stress jobs or with different schedules, are switching to separate bedrooms. It is not a comment on the condition of your relationship nor is it a sign that you and your husband are no longer close to each other. If you have been happily married for the past 10 years it is obvious that sleeping in another room will not damage your relationship. Just talk to your husband about the situation and stress that you love him but that you need to sleep in a quieter room. Trust in your relationship and your husband’s concern for you.

Hi L. -
I would stress that your husband get checked out at a sleep center. My brother and sister in law were having the same problem. She was kept awake by his snoring and tossing, finally would go to another room. My brother was just as sleep deprived by all his tossing and sleep apnia. They found he was having a record number of stop breathing moments. Since sleeping with a CPAP machine they both get more restful sleep in the same bed. His health is nothing to take for granted, push him to see a doctor. Let us know how things turn out!

R. CD(DONA)
from heaven to earth

You Sound just like my echo about 6 months ago. I love my husband but sleeping in the same bed as him was pure torture. This is what we did (because I ws sleeping on the couch everynight or making him when my back got sore).

To help the snoring and constant noises eminating from his body. we make sure that his neck is supported. He like to sleep scrunched down and it crushes the windpipe. Mega snores I tell you!!!

However the biggest thing we did is buy a new mattress. Actually two twins XL and put them togather. We bought the temperpedic and it is on a solid base so he can't jiggle the whole bed when he moves. The temperpedics do work like the commercial. I don't feel a thing and he gets a better sleep and less snoring.

Let me tell you I had about had it!! I was either a zombie or very irritated all day, cause I wasen't getting any sleep. I was actually in the process of turning my office into a spare room so that I could get a decent nights sleep every once in a while. My husband just didn't want that so he was willing to try anything. Hence the new matresses. I have heard that the queens and king sizes are great too but I wasen't taking any chances. I wanted to feel NO movement. Oh, before I forget, the other thing we did we invest in one of those foam pillows for him from the sleep store. It was like $100 and well worth it. It cut his snorrein down to the bare min. (plus we struck a deal. If he snores I can kick him. :-) ) Good luck!! I so feel your pain on this one.

I feel it is perfectly fine to have your own place to sleep, it sounds as if everything else in your marrage is working ok so to want a little sleep is O.K.

Before you do anything you should have your husband checked for sleep apnea. Have you tryed that yet. I had to say this but my husband can't sleep with me because I snore and he jerks so at times we do and times we don't. But defnitly get your husband checked as that can be dangerous. Let me know what happens? ____@____.com I'll be praying for you.

Recently the Today show did a story on this very issue. They said that it is the current trend for husband and wife to have separate bedrooms. Houses are now being built with two master bedrooms and a common room in the middle.

I don't think there's anything wrong with sleeping in a different room if it means you'll be able to sleep better. If you have the extra room in your house, maybe you can set it up as a guest bedroom and on nights that are difficult, you can go sleep in there. That way you and your husband still share a room, but you have somewhere to go when the snoring and tossing are keeping you from sleeping.

Or you can sleep in twin beds like Lucy and Ricky and wear ear plugs :)

My brother and his wife have this same issue. She says that as long as she is asleep before he comes to bed, she'll sleep just fine. But if my brother falls asleep before her, she's in for a rough night. So she now just goes to bed about 15 minutes before him.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

Hi.
Today is my parents' 30 year anniversary. For the past ten years or so, my mom has slept in a different room than my dad. He snores as loud as an elephant! This hasn't seemed to cause any problems. In fact, my mom seems to be much happier now that she can actually get some sleep at night.
If you can't bring yourself to do it, maybe you could try ear plugs?

Hi,

We used to have a somewhat similar problem, except split. I was the snorer and my husband was the flopper. We did a couple of things, we did get XL twin beds and sometimes they were together on the same frame and sometimes they were apart. After about 2 years my husband stopped twitching and flopping and now our beds are together.

I finally went to a sleep clinic after being told by many family members that I snored really loud and it sounded like I was choking. I do indeed have sleep apnea, and I now use a sleep machine (CPAP) and this has taken care of it. Now if only I could get my husband to turn off the light when he falls asleep.

Perhaps start with the size of your bed.
If it is a double, consider a different size.
Remember, when we sleep with someone we sleep in each others energetic field.
Sometimes we need to learn simple energetic practices
AND TECHNIQUES that can help us.
I teach these to clients on an individual basis.
If you are interested in scheduling an appt.
E-mail ____@____.com
###-###-####

I am located in Centennial co.

Hi L.,
Absolutley get yourown room. You have to think about your own health. I have beensleeping in a seperate room for 5 years nowandlove it.At first I thought it was not healthy for our relationship, but i'ts worth having some restful sleep.You owe it to yourself and your children. Why should you suffer and he's sleeping anyway so who cares? Your health should be #1.The #1 trend in new homes is 2 master bedrooms just for that reason.Most men snore and now it is acceptable to sleep separately. The older generations had it right with 2 beds. Although I still don't sleep because Ihave to get up all the time with the triplets to feed them. They are 5 months and still not sleeping thru the night.
Good luck