I Am Fed Up!!!!

Ok I had a similar problem with my daughter. She was potty trained as far as number one, but would never use the number two.. I finally realized she was scared of pooping in the toilet. What I had to do was sit her on the toilet and hold her hand while she took her first poo poo.. lol.. Well it's worth a shot and it worked for us..

Good Luck,
M. K.

Try letting him run around naked..maybe without something to catch it he wont do it. Thats the only thing i can think of other than putting him back in a pull up but that might make him regress with the peeing too.

A.

I'm working through the same problem with my 3 yr old. I think we've just about got it under control. I was giving treats (skittles or m&ms) for tee-tee & poo-poo. Once he mastered tee-tee & I saw he was still struggling with poop, I quit giving treats for tee-tee.I told him he had proven to be a big boy now and would no longer receive treats unless he pooped in the potty. We haven't had an accident in about a month. Now if we can only master dry nights!!! Good luck.

Hi R.,
I have p/t one girl, and we already know that p/t girls is different than boys. Since both my girls (I have a 2 y.o.) have been old enough to walk to the potty, I have plopped their poop from the diaper into the toilet (when possible) w/ her watching. Then we say "bye bye poo poo" and flush it. I'm doing this right now w/ my 2 y.o. I do think that it helped w/ my now 5 1/2 y.o. as we never had any problem w/ her not wanting to poop in the toilet. I don't know how you can apply this, as you are already mostly p/t but I hope it helps in some way. Good luck!

When my two girls were little I ran a daycare in my home. I had a licensed daycare for six years and potty trained dozens of kids.
I would always tell parents don't fight potty training. They will go if you keep it a positive experience.
Here's what I did. I would suggest going to the store and letting him pick out his underwear. Get the coolest ones they have. I have all girls so I don't know what that would be for little boys but something like spongebob or something! Then go get crappy ole' diapers. Ugly Ugly diapers. Talk like the big boy underwear are the neatest things you've ever seen. Then go get a treat that can be dispensed in small amounts...such as skittles, m&m's or reeses'.
Then let the games begin. When he uses the potty he gets a reward, even if it's to go pee pee and he's been doing it since birth! Act like the world knows he's gone to the potty and he is the king! (I know it gets cheesy after awhile but we even had a potty dance!)
Then when he goes poop in his pants it's really sad. He pooped on his NEW spongebob pants...we are all really sad and no praise or treats. He has to wear a baby diaper because spongebob doesn't like poop! This should be heartshattering. This should be the end of the world to him. He has to wear baby pants usually until he has to go pee again and then I would take them off and ask if he's ready to try and be a big boy again. They will always say yes and the game starts over!
It takes awhile but the key I think is not to respond to the poop. I know you've heard negative attention is better than no attention at all...so just take the poopy pants off and act like spongebob is sad and give no emotion to the fact that he's running around in poopy pants. You just don't care...so what if you want to wear poop in your pants. The key is to make it look like it doesn't bother you at all...so what if you want to be a baby. I would even say those words as I was putting the diaper on...so you don't want to be a big boy anymore? that's too bad. I really thought you were a good big boy, but you can be a baby if you like.
It's all crazy and mindless but it seemed to work for me. Usually it would last about a day and I think it was all about the negative attention they were getting from mom or dad and they knew they would get no attention from me. In fact if the child was mature enough to clean himself up I would give him the wipes and tell him to wipe himself and I would help put the pull up or diaper on.

R.,

I need help on this too. My daughter refuses and I feel like I have tried everything.

I hope we get responders with suggestions.

Ah, I feel your pain. Unfortunately, I have not found that magic solution yet...but we're still looking. My daughter always tells me that she has to pee/poop after the fact. And sometimes she will go to the potty and remove her poopy pants before I can get there. This results in fingerpainting, etc...you get the idea. I have tried enticing her with her favorite candy, cinderella undies, etc. Still no success. Her doc tells me that she will do it when she is ready. I just hope it is before our next baby is born in January. =) Good luck and if you get any really good suggestions, please pass them on!

I had the same problems with my DD. The pediatrician said it was related to her constipation issues, so I tried very hard to be patient, but when she wasn't potty trained after she turned 3, I thought she never would be! What worked for me was reminding my DD that she needed to be potty trained in order to go to school (her new daycare). I also told her that if she pooped on the potty, mommy and daddy would go buy her a cake and have a party. She pooped on the potty that night, and we took her to a special dinner out and ordered a big piece of cake for dessert. Except for a couple of accidents, she's pooped on the potty exclusively since then.
Maybe you can use your DS's birthday as his incentive. Try talking to him about practicing to be 3. Remind him that his birthday is coming up and tell him that big boys who are 3 go poo-poo in the potty. Explain how much fun he'll have at his party and talk about all the cool things that 3-yr-olds get to do (just make stuff up).
If that doesn't work, try a different kind of party. That's one of Dr. Phil's recommendations for potty training, and it definitely worked for my DD.
Good luck!

Hi R., I want to let you know you are not alone, I have a 3 1/2 year old that did the same thing....I felt the same way.
I had this brilliant idea, so I tried it.....Everytime my son pooped in his underwear, I made him take the underwear with the poop in it and told him to dump the poop in the toilet....It took 3-4 times until he finally got the idea that the poop belongs in the toilet,and every time he did it he was absolutely grossed-out!It's a little extreme, but they have to know you won't be cleaning after him.Don't be afraid "to pull the rug out" from under him, they will get back up and learn.
Also, I think he also matured a little more as time went by... give your son some time, and have some patience, he'll get it eventually. I'm sure you've heard, that all kids learn at their own time. We're still training him not to pee at night, how did you do that with yours? God Bless, K., pearland,tx.

I have a child with traumatic brain injury. We are trying the same things at home. We were almost trained at 2 1/2 yrs. before his accident. I am trying not to make a big deal of it. As soon as he tells me I take him - if he tells me (communication is a big problem for him now). When my older son would get that look, I would take him and put him on the potty. He liked the plop sound. We would giggle and talk about how much better it was to make it go down the toliet and that the smell was gone. He liked to spay the air freshener. If he went to the bathroom in the potty, I let him give it a supervised spray.

Part of the discipline program called Love and Logic is having logical consequences for inappropriate actions. Cleaning his underwear and shorts himself just might be the push over the edge he needs to do it in the potty so he doesnt' have to clean the yucky pants.

Good luck.

My Daughter would do that also. The thing that helped was making her clean her own panties. I would have her (with me holding her arm) twirl her panties in the toilet to clean them out. It didn't take long for her to realise that she didn't enjoy doing pooping in her pants. Hope that helps and good luck.

By the way, I also had an infant that got to get his diaper changed...I think that was a large part of it...but not giving him the (negative) attention he is seeking is still working now with other behavior issues.

I feel for you, I kind of went through the same thing with my son when he was 3...he's now 4. I thought he was NEVER going to poop in the potty. I even made up a 'poop in the potty' song. It took FOREVER!!

Try not making a big deal of it anymore when he poops in his pants. Don't show anger, frustration, any reaction at all. Maybe he'll stop finding it fun.

Good luck!

for some kids (mostly boys) one hard poop gets them afraid it will hurt if they go on the potty and they may even try to hold it in as long as they can to avoid going.. then it is too late and they go in thier pants. I know this from my pedi, because my littlest one is 2y and 3 months and holds his poop. we give hime fiber tablet every day and MOM if 24 hours go by with no poop. he still will not go on potty but MD says in time he will.

fo my ondest we offered jelly belly beans 2 for tee tee 3 for poop and 6 for both done on the potty.

good luck

OMG! That is my/our exact problem, except that our boy is 3 1/2, he'll be 4 in December. He proudly wears his Spiderman and King Kong underwear, and will sit on the potty to pee. But, he absolutely refuses to poop in the potty. He'll change into a pullup to poop and then hide from us. He'll actually hold a poop all day long (he's in a mother's day out program) until he gets home, then will go and change to a diaper and hide for what he calls his "5 minutes". It's so crazy, it's funny. Maybe he's afraid of pooping in the potty? Let me know what you find out. Good luck!

Dear R.,
I was in your shoes in Febuary 2006. I swore my son was going to be 5 by the time he was fully potty trained. I cried often because I could not understand why he would not go. My son turned 4yrs Nov 2005 and still would not go #2 in the potty. He was going pee in the potty for about 1 year, but refused to go #2 in the potty. I did everything under the sun also, bribery, yelling, talking having him watch his older brothers 13 & 8 to show it was ok, NOTHING worked. I even made him go around the house naked so that he would have no choice but to go in the potty, this of coarse did not work he went and put on his own underwear when he had to go. You have to let it go and he will do it on his own, keep encouraging him, but don't let it be that he is being punished for not going in the potty. The more you make of it the worse it gets, then all you are doing is yelling, talking, bribing etc all the time. My son finally did it on his own and come to find out he had been doing it for two days before we realized he was going on his own. I wish you luck and sanity, as this is one of the many things toddlers do try our patience.
Good Luck,
K. R

PRAISE IS IS A BIG THING TO YOUNG CHILDREN. PUT SOME CLAPPING YOUR HANDS AND MAKING SOME GOOD SOUNDS AND SMILE AND LAUGH A LITTLE TO TAKE AWAY THE FRUSTRATION YOU FEEL WHEN YOU SEE HE IS MAKING THAT SAME OLD MISTAKES. BUT, YOU KNOW WE ALL HAD TO COME THEY WAY IN LIFE. TRYING AND MAKE IS A FUNFUL EVENT AND DANCE AND SING ALITTLE SONG OR TWO TO MAKE HIM KNOW YOU ARE PROUD OF HIM FOR EVEN TRYING TO USE IT. IT IS A NATURAL THING FOR US TO EXPECT PRAISE WHEN WE DO SOMETHING RIGHT. And we are well reserved when we don't get it sometime even when we do not deserve it. So, just try it and keep on trying eventually it will happen for your child. It want last too much long before it old hat for him or her. And if you are disappointed at times, please allow him to reach that mature to understand it is alot of work for you. But, this is all you can do for now along with books that sometime we do not absolute get a chance to read. So, God will lead you as a mother in what is good for your child. No, we did not get a manual alone with birth, We all improvise and do what we feel is good. It's okay that he or she doesn't get it right away. But, patience God gave us all, he has more if you need it okay!!!

S.

You sound exactly like my husband and I about 6 months ago. My son did the EXACT same thing. We finally put him in pull-ups(which he did not like) and explained that until he went poop in the potty, he would have to wear them. I have to admit, this was for us, mostly, to avoid to the mess, smell and frustration. But, Lo and Behold it worked! He is now a champ at going poop in the potty. I really don't know if it was him hanging on to some control over himself, or if we were ready before he was or what, all I know is that I don't have to clean up that nasty stuff anymore and I am a HAPPY mom again!

my suggestion is to put him back in training pants until he stops going in his underwear. the underwear should be a priveledge at this point. if he wants to poop like he did when he was in diapers then he will have to wear a diaper, so to speak. at this point it is the only real option you have. do not belittle him or make him feel that he is a "baby" for it. it may just be that he is not totally ready to be potty trained, and may have some fear issues. kids are really imaginative and sometimes things that may seem silly to us are scary to them. your child may feel too pressured to use the potty or it may feel weird having his bottom hanging in the toilet when he needs to use it. from your description, your child sounds very intelligent and capable of understanding the process, so it is possible he will understand what you are doing and your explanation about why he has to wear the pull ups until he can go poop in the potty. also sticker charts, and calanders and things where you can make a habit of marking off each time they successfully used the potty, are supposed to be helpful. just like when you initially train them. just gradually increase your expectations of the number of successful "deposits". in time you won't need a reward. on a side note don't get so frustrated. this is not a race. i am still having trouble with potty training my son, but i seem to get better results when he doesn't feel pressured. my son just turned three and still isn't completely potty trained yet. nothing is wrong with your son, and nothing is wrong with you or with what you are doing. try just taking the pressure off, while still remaining consistent, put him back in pull-ups so that you can get a break from cleaning poopy underwear, and in time it will happen on it's own.

Hey R.,

Count to 10....and breathe deeply!

I TOTALLY understand your frustration because I went through the SAME thing with my oldest son. I spoke to my pediatrician about it and she explained that some children see stool (poop) as an extension of themselves and kind of freak out at the thought it of going down the toilet. I'm serious! It's a normal thing.

What we did was actually cheat a little by helping him stimulate his bowels. Under our doctor's supervision, we purchased Fleishman's Childrens Stool Softner/Laxative and give it to him in the evening after supper. In the morning, we would HAVE to go. We started by sitting him on a "training potty" and letting him help flush it in the big potty and tell it bye bye. After a week, we got the hang of it and it's been smooth sailing ever since.

The worst thing you can do is shame him or punish him over it because it can really mess him up later in life.

Another thought, is that his sphincter muscle isn't quite developed yet. I'm a pediatric nurse and I've seen this as well. They get the urge to go, but lack the muscle control to push it out or hold it in.

You might want to run this past your pediatrician and see what he/she thinks.

Hang in there. It DOES get better!

E.

I would aslo suggest a reward. my friends son used to do that and he would hold it until she let him get up. If it was my child I would punish him for doing that knowing that he thinks its funny. Good luck. Check out my potty Training pages at my website and you might find some sites and products that might help. And if by any chance you figure it out PLEASE email me with your story. I would love to publish it for other moms! Thanks:)

N. B.
Mom Advice Central-http://www.mymommycentral.com
Potty Training Advice-http://www.mymommycentral.com/pottytaining.html

Hi Rachael. Just let it go. He won't go to kindergarten still pooping in his pants! I suggest doing and saying nothing. Just get his mind off it and let nature take it's course. Making a big deal about it is causing further anxiety -- for both of you. Just relax and be patient.

Hi. You know, boys are almost always harder to completely train. Commonly the pooping is the hardest part of the training for them. If he is still going in his pants, I would definitely put pull ups on him until he is trained. When you take him to the potty to sit when he has to go, do you stay in there with him? I would just sit in there with him (even if it is on the floor) and read something. Give him a book to look at too. Maybe that will help him enjoy it a little more anyway.

M.

I have a three year old boy and I had the same problem with him. He did exactly what yours does, and yes it is frustrating. My son decided on his own when he wanted to start using the toilet to poop. I'm not sure why they do it, maybe it has something to do with sitting on the toilet, or maybe it takes to long, who knows? I think my son did that for a few months. I could kindof tell when he had to go because he would go hide I would run and get him to put him on the toilet and then NOTHING, ten minutes later it was in his underwear. VERY FRUSTRATING!!! Now that he finally uses the toilet he has a hard time using it anywhere else but home. My only hopeful advise is to be patient, try to pay attention to when he has to go and take him to the potty and make him sit on it for a little bit without getting up. Good Luck!!!

Try putting a stack of books in the bathroom next to the toilet, put him on the potty tell him to read the books and let you know when he is done, walk away, periodically checking with him that everything is still Ok

I understand completely how you feel...it's not just boys. I have a 8 year old daughter who absolutely refused, at 4! to potty in the toilet!it wasn't until i ignored her, and turned to potty traing her sister, who is 2 years younger, that she decided it was time. put him in pull ups and ignore it...he'll realize that he's not getting a response from you and he'll allow himself to feel uncomfortable in those pull-ups. Keep giving good responses to the peepee in the toilet. praise him! but when he poops in his pull up scold him once, then leave it alone...don't keep going on about it, it's what he wants, because he knows he's getitng your attention when your mad. find a way for him to get more positive attention, make him want the positive attention. Good Luck!

My daughter was like that too, I found a book that helped ease my fears. It explained that sometimes kids get scared to poop in the potty because they look at it like its part of thier body breaking off, and it's hard to understand how it is happening. My daughter did that for a while, but it said not to force it, to just simply put a diaper on them when they tell you they have to go. So I followed the directions, and soon enough, she became comfortable with it withing 2 months. Now she is working on staying dry through the night, but again, don't force them or make them feel badly for it, they will get the hang of it on their own time. I didn't pressure my daughter at all, I would just say "maybe next time you can poop on the potty" without using a harsh tone. Kinda like giving her that option. I think it takes the fear out of doing it right.And if you think about it, who can poop when their under stress? Lol...hope this helps, patience is key.

I would completely back off. It's obviously become a control issue, and this is one of the few things a kid his age has control over. Maybe he feels he's being pushed, or he feels your irritation, or he's just not ready. Maybe he feels like now you have a new baby at home and you don't want HIM to be your baby anymore and he's doing something that makes you do something for him like you do for the baby. I'm not saying you ignore him or anything like that. I'm just thinking what it might feel like as a two year old who suddenly lost part of his mom's attention to someone else. If it were me, I would just put him in a pull-up and change him without saying anything negative about it. Lot's of kids, even older than him, have a hard time pooping in the potty. They're not doing something WRONG. They're just not ready. If he's not even three yet and is already dry day and night, you're already ahead of the game. Just let him do it in his own time without any pressure and he'll get tired of having poopy pants sooner than you think.

I would first of all consult the pediatrician to make sure there is no medical reason for this. My friend's son was constipated and become so impacted that it stretched the muscles down there that lets you know when you have to go. It took them quite a while to fix the problem because once they cleaned him out, they had to wait for the muscles to go back to normal. I have a 7 year old boy who was exactly as you described. He would go pee easily, but would not poop. He even had his nursery school people thinking he was completely trained because he would actually hold it until he got home and then went in his underwear for me. I know most people wouldn't approve of my method, but once I realized there was no medical reason for the problem and he had the control where he could decide when to go, I started spanking him for accidents and he quit going in his pants. He was nearly 4 before he potty trained.

The only thing I can think of is to either threaten to put him back in diapers or actually put one one him. I guarantee he will not like wearing a diaper again especially if it is for a "baby". I had to threaten that a few times with my son and he did not want to be considered a baby. My sons are 4 and 2.

Good luck!

M.

i hope you have 2 bathrooms. Make him spend all day on the toilet, for a couple of days untill he goes, dont wait untill he says he has to go. When he finally goes make a big deal out of it.As long as he has underwear on he knows there is something to catch it.After he went the first time and he sees how excited you are, dont wait for him to tell you that he has to go. if you know around what time a day his sessions are take him to the bathroom and let him spend some good time there, and if something happens throw a party or something.
After he gets to go usually you can slowly go down on your Excitement.NO UNDERWEAR( I MEAN NO CLOTH WHEN HE"S AT HOME)

R.,

Whatever you do DON'T make him hold his poopy underwear in his lap. That can cause staph infections, e coli, and other nasty contagous diseases. Going poop in the toilet is hard for little kids because they feel they are literally letting a part of themselves go. The Treat suggestion is a good idea. Also make up a funny little song for him. Something like (to the tune of, Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star)

Tinkle, Tinkle, little pee, in the potty you will be.
Poopy, Poopy stinky-O, in the Potty you will go.

Or
This song is sung to the tune of "This is the way we brush our teeth" etc.

Where do we make our poops and peep
Our poops and peeps, Our poops and peeps
Where do we make our poops and peeps
We make them in the potty!

And give it time. I know that it is frustrating and disgusting to have to clean the underwear. But I promise you, he will eventually do it. Hang in there.

L.

Having raised three and cared for children in my home for 11 years, I feel as if I am an expert at potty training. I have trained many. What always works for me is if when your son soils his underwear you very calmly tell him that he must clean himself and his mess up. You will no longer do it because it is "yucky". I assure you that after he spends time dealing with his own mess (and of course you will have to be there for suggestions of how to deal with it) he will think twice before doing it again. It may seem harsh to some, but it works! Good luck!

Hi,
I am a mom of 2 boys and all I can say is relax,sit back and be reassured he won't be going to college with poop in his pants.I would say that if he poops his pants,time for pull ups and keep him in them until HE decides underware.My soon to be 3 isn't even interested in the potty and he tells me he poo pooed after the fact.All I kknow is not to compare him to others and just take it easy,He'll let me know.His teacher says the same.Good luck and go treat yourself to a pedicure without the kids.
K.

Do you think hes doing it b/c your baby does it? Also, I know this seems weird, but have you thought about leaving him in his poopy diaper for a while? Maybe if he knows he has to live with it, he'll think twice?? I hope it all works out soon!!

My son did the exact same thing. I was mean, let him be in that poopy underwear for a few minutes instead of change it instantly, he hated it. Took just a few days to cure him of this. He was a very stubborn child. It wasn't a fear of the potty in my case. I wouldn't know what to tell you if he feared the toilet.

I was exactly where you are a year ago! I have 1 boy and 2 girls...7, 5 & 3 (almost 4).

Bailee would poop and basically "mock" me. My MIL ( a very wise woman...) told me to "quit reacting" to her.

So this is what I did...

The next day, she pooped in her pants in her "hiding place", then came and told me she did it and began making a joke out of it...you know the routine...

EXCEPT this time, I didn't get upset! I just looked at her and said, "How sad! You must feel really nasty in those dirty pants. Now go to the bathroom and clean your self up and put on clean panties." She was stunned. I refused to clean her up. I made her wipe her bottom and wash out the dirty underwear. She wanted to throw them in the trash like I had done on several occassions, but I wouldn't let her. I gave her the wipes and toilet paper and told her to get with it. I even had her clean the bathroom floor when she was done. I didn't help her at all accept to direct when needed. (I did go back and reclean the bathroom after she was down for her nap, I just didn't let her see me do it.)

Needless to say, she did this twice and has never done it since.

Just wanted to add my two cents to one of the comments about praising when they are dry, etc. You also want to praise him when he lets you know that he has to go. I had a really hard time training my daughter to go #2 in the potty too. I finally fully trained her about 5 months ago. She hated going poop and would actually hold it in for days. It was a huge struggle and I'm so glad its finally behind us.

Not that I am an expert at all, but I just potty trained my 21 month old daughter and she has been going for about 2 months and is wearing panties now. I bought all the books and what I was doing wrong at first is rewarding her for going to the potty only. The book says to reward them for staying dry and not messing in there underwear. You check them or when you know there schedule is and ask them if they are dry. Then if they are, you give them a reward. Whether it is a treat, sticker on a chart. Find what they love to have and give it to them each time they are dry when you ask them. Then when they actually go on the potty, they get and extra(double)reward. Stick with it and it does work, because you are rewarding them for staying dry and clean. Then they will want to. After they get it down consistently after a couple of months or so, you can taper of the rewards. I can give you them name of the book if needed.

R.

I agree with the other mom's advice about the reward...also, be as consistent as you can with whatever process you use. He has found something that HE can control so he's holding onto it. If he sees that it bothers/frustrates you, he'll keep on doing it. You may have to clean a lot of dirty pants, but don't let him see it get to you. I have a friend who's son won't poop in the toilet because he urinates standing up and is scared that when he sits on the pot that he'll go down with the poop so they taught him to urinate sitting on the stool and that is helping. Good luck and hang in there, lady!

I also understand the frustration. My 3 year old daughter was doing the same. She went fine when she tinkled but I would find her hiding in a corner when it was poopy time. When I sat her on the potty, she was actually scared to let it just fall. I imagine it is a strange sensation when you are not used to it doing that! Anyway, one day it finally happened and it got better from there. I bet using a fleets suppository (for kids) would help because it may make him get the "feeling" right away....then just sit him on the potty till it happens! Good Luck!

Yeah I am having the same problem with my daughter who is almost three. She is really good abut going tee tee on the potty, I can even send her to daycare in panties, but when it comes to pooping, she only will go in her pants.

I have no idea what to do.

A little about me:

2 kids. Daughter almost 3 son 5 months. Full time working mother out of the home, also running a home based business.

I agree that rewards are great and so are praise. Your son knows that he is upsetting you and he is getting a lot of attention for pooping in his undies. Stop giving him that attention and he will stop finding it so funny. You may also want to give him a stool to rest his feet on while on the potty. My son could not get comfortable enough at first until he had his stool now he is a champ. Some kids take longer and pressure can make the training process backfire. Good luck!

Hi R.,
You've rec'd some great advice. I've had the same problem over a year ago with my daughter who is almost 4. She wouldn't poop in the toilet for ANYTHING. No prize, no candy, no nothing. I went to Waldenbooks and bought the book called... and don't laugh "EVERYBODY POOPS". It's a story about all animals and people with the moral of the story being, every living thing eats, so every living thing poops. Plain and simple and with pictures of everything pooping. Cracked my husband up when he saw it (typical boy) but it did the trick. It was enough positive reinforcement to make her feel comfortable with doing it in the toilet. Good luck!

Our daughter did the same thing.
Some advice I received that seemed to work:
Have no response. He's used to you making a big deal about the mess, freaking out, etc. Next time you know he needs to go, just ask him "Would you like to poop in the potty or poop in your pants?" Let him choose. If he says in his pants, let him. THen say "Ok, let's clean up the mess, do you want to clean your underwear or your shorts?" let him help. It's a control issue and with potty he has ultimate control. He also knows that he has control over your reaction. If you are calm and even and non-chalant, he won't have any fun with it.

Also, you might add some kind of reward. Get an awesome new toy. Maybe after you get his mess cleaned up, start playing with the new toy. Act like you're having the time of your life. When he asks to play with it, calmly say "Oh, I'm sorry, this is a toy for boys who can poop in the potty. You can't have it right now, but I'm saving it for you! Maybe you can try again tomorrow and get to play with this toy for 3 minutes." Every time he poops in the potty, extend his time with the toy. Set a timer. Be exact and stick to your guns.

My son took a long time to go on the potty too, I just put him in pull ups until he would go on the toilet on his own. It also helped when he saw everyone else on the potty.

However, I thing your biggest problem is he wants your attention and is will ing to act like a baby to get it. We went through the same thing here when my son was 2 1/2 and my daughter was 4 mos. When we reached the climax of fustration I asked my son if he wanted to be the baby and when he answered yes I let him be the baby-but that ment no big boy stuff. It didn't take long before he changed his mind.

I would address this problem, then act like pooping in pants is gross but no big deal. Then he wont have the power to aggravate you, these spells arise from time to time just manifests in differeent ways. I know Its fustrating there are times I feel the same way about my kids. And with a young one is completely and totaly understandable.

I'd give this a try. He has wonderful books if and very down to earth common sense advice. I used his potty training method and my daughter was fully trained in 1 week.

http://www.rosemond.com/

I would suggest a small reward. It will be easy since he tells you when he has to poop. So put him on the potty and tell him that if he goes, you will give him a surprise. Buy some little candies or treats - it doesn't have to be expensive. The little rolled up candies "Smarties" does well with kids and they love them... Then he'll always want to poop so he can have some. Once, he's trained, phase them out... and he won't care anymore and keep pooping in the toilet!

Good luck!

have you talked to your pedi about it? the only thing I can think to suggest is that if he really likes the big boy pants, let him know that if he continues to poop in them he'll have to go back to wearing diapers....might work might not....

Well I feel your being fed up reason being is I have been there with both my boys but my youngest is 6 and I just have him starting to go. But he is also delayed in comprehension skills communcation and learning ( he is autistic). My suggestion would be to not let him up so soon. Maybe let him know its faster to do the toliet to poopy instead of the pants. I know some of my boys problems was they did not want to stop to do this task. They soon found out it was faster to do it on the toliet and cleaner and less stinky too. Anyways good luck.

Hi there,
Wow I thought I was the only one!!! My son will be 4 next month and we are still working on this issue. We tried the whole character underwear thing, didn't work. The only thing that has worked is, you know when he has to go, at least I know when mine has to go because he gets "the look" and will start bending over. Whether he wants to sit on the potty or not, I take off his shorts and underwear, at first he threw a fit and kept saying he wanted his underwear back on, but he didn't want to poop on the floor, that was his only other option if he didn't sit on the potty. So he started sitting on the potty to poop. Now he'll go sit on the potty without much trouble, we'll give him a little hand held Wheel of Fortune game to play while he sits and poops, and things have gotten a lot better. Hope this helps.

I know every kid is different, what really worked for us was buying new books and giving him one every time she wanted to go potty, I think that help her to relax and forget about the issue. The ones with flaps or buttons were her favorites.
Good luck
L.

R.,

I was in your boat several mths ago with my daughter. I tried EVERYTHING! Praise and treats did absolutely no good at all. Then I did the one thing that every expert and politically correct parent said not to do, I punished. After I'd had enough of my daughter pooping in her pants, I told her that she was a big girl and that tomorrow we were going to go poop in the potty and not in her pants. I hit her where it hurt and told her that there would be no more Dora until she pooped in the potty. All the next day there were no Dora videos and no Dora books. The following day she pooped on the potty and we had a big party and she got to watch Dora on TV and go to the store to get a new Dora book (the new Dora book was a total surprise to her and not promised beforehand). The day after that, she thought she'd test me and pooped in her pants again. Dora was promptly taken away. Lucky for my daughter that she had two BM's that day and got her Dora privledges back by story time that night. Since then there has not been one single accident, which has been about 7 months.

T.