Help in Retaining My 6Th Grader.

Can you change schools somehow? Home school? Anything you try will be a challenge, but do research. Talk to friends and neighbors about how they school their children and why. Pick their brains. That's what friends are for!

Hi boy mom-

There is a group called PEATC (parent education advocacy training center) here in virginia...not sure if there is a 'sister' group in CA, but you can google it. They may be able to point you in a direction for your state and school system.

The 'no child left behind' legislation was to be a 'work in progress' when first introduced several (10 years???) ago. It has become somewhat 'bastardized' over time, instead of the useful tool it started out to be...

I wish you luck...

It is hard enough to navigate education for our 'typical' kiddos...Throw in some 'special' concerns on 'either side' of the spectrum...and wow!~!

***I speak as a mom with a 'normal distribution' of kiddos of my own!! ***

Best Luck!
michele/cat

Is your son an older 6th grader? If he is, will holding him back make him 20 years old when he graduates?

THAT could be why they are saying no. Grandma T makes the case here when she says that they turned down her friend's second request for her child to be held back. I have to say that I totally agree with that. 20 year olds don't need to be in school with our younger kids - they aren't kids anymore and need to move on.

What you should do is get your son remedial help. I know that's expensive and hard, but you need to do it if they will not let him move. And he needs to have some consequences rather than coddling if the issue is that he isn't trying. If he IS trying, and the IEP isn't helping, get another evaluation and re-work the IEP.

Do you have help lined up for this summer? Find a teacher who has two hours a day to spend, preferably a 6th grade or 7th grade teacher. Have her work with him in math and reading. She would know what math he should be able to do and what is coming up in 7th grade. And she can assess his reading and comprehension skills. Also have her work with him on how to organize his work. So many kids struggle with that.

Unlike Grandma T, I don't think schools will be extinct any time soon (apologies Terri - ya know I love ya!) They DO try to accommodate all kinds of differences, but there are some things they have accommodated in the past and no longer will, including having a much older kid going through the grades. Most of us "old timers" remember the ONE kid during our school tenure who was older and bigger and struggled in school. They had held the kid back and everyone knew it and treated him differently. Sometimes that makes things worse on a kid and marginalizes him. I certainly remember that. Perhaps THIS is why the school board is saying no, because they have made a conscious decision not to do this now.

Good luck,
Dawn

I used to teach middle school math - 6th and 7th grade. Was there an IEP meeting regarding his placement next year? Was it decided by the IEP team that retention is the best choice? Since your child is in special education it is illegal to retain him unless it is decided by the IEP team that it's best.

Often this won't happen. Recently, studies have shown that retention often does not work, because students rarely make significant progress is the academic year they were retained. And emotionally it can be tough on a child, especially an older child. With a special education student it calls into question the school and IEP. If a child was not meeting IEP goals, why wasn't the IEP evaluated earlier. If the child is meeting goals, why the need for retention? So many schools are discouraging the idea of retention. This is also wrapped up a bit in the No Child Left Behind Act.

I am not certain the action you can take. I would start with the IEP team and then revisit it with the school board. Document everything. Get statements from doctors and teachers. Old teachers are helpful, but current teachers will speak more for your cause. If you feel strongly, meet with everyone -principal, counselor, superintendent,etc.. And be the squeaky wheel. Be firm, but not aggressive or accusatory. Also have a back up plan. They may still refuse you despite your efforts. Good luck.

If you live in the (greater) Bay Area, I can recommend Renee Lamborn, MA.
She is based in Palo Alto, but travels throughout the Bay Area.
She has many years in the public schools before going into private practice.
She helps with IEPs and certainly can help you. ###-###-####, www.lambornadvocacy.com, email ____@____.com

Also, Jean Marie Buckley M.Ed, in Burlingame, ###-###-####,
www.buckleyedgroup.com, ____@____.com can also help; I'm not sure how much of the Bay Area she covers.

Good Luck

I would start exploring all my options: remedial stuff like sylvan or whatever, or private tutors (my friend found one off craigslist one year, off this site another year for her daughter), or even just summer school. OR if you're not working, I'd say spend some nice time together bonding, but throwing "school" into the mix for a kind of homeschooling thing. Or, check and see if there is a charter or private school that would work with you! Sometimes, that's just the way to go when the public system is too "cookie cutter" for what you desire for your children's education! Figure out what you can do....I don't see, if he's young by age as you said, that they wouldn't let him repeat, personally. I could have pushed for Joseph to start kindergarten last year since his birthday was pretty close to the cut off, but I decided I'd rather him be a little older than a little younger (thinking possibilities of bullies...I'd like him to have a fighting chance....or maturity levels change so dramatically in certain grades, I just didn't want him behind)....I feel for you and your son. Hope you find something that works for him.

I'm sorry you're having these issues!

You say you "have the support of his doctor, old teachers" and others. But does that support mean you have written recommendations from them that he repeat 6th grade? I would ask them all to write letters to that effect so you can present those in making your case. The teachers might be somewhat reluctant to do this if it's outside the usual way they participate in these decisions but you might have to convince them.

Has he worked with the school counselor? That would be someone else to get on your side. So is the person who created and oversees his IEP, who should be aware of his struggles. Is the school prinicipal siding with you or not? Why is it at the school board level and not a decision made by the principal, or has the principal denied your request already?

You might even have him evaluated by an independent outside specialist (maybe a child psychologist? Ask the doctor and counselor) who can write a report on the issues you see -- the age, maturity, academic struggles.

In other words, if you don't already have all these things highly documented, try to get them documented as much as you can. Be willing to meet them halfway and maybe allow him to move on with a guarantee of tutoring or other accommodations.

You son is apparently passing 6th grade. Is he passing with D-'s or with B's/C's? To me it would make a difference in my decision. ANyway, I don't know if it's best or not to retain your son-everything varies by individual situation. However, IEP's were created as a result of the Americans for Disabilities Act. In California, by law, the school district has to honor your request on this retention issue even if they disagree. The Disability Act trumps any decision made by the schoolboard, no matter their policy. First, go to you county office of education with your sons IEP and proof he's your son and explain your situation to the special education dept. Under normal circumstances, if there is any problem at an IEP you have the right to have an advocate attend the IEP meetings (the county office can advise you on how to get an advocate).The advocate will know all of your legal rights regarding this matter and make them clear to everyone. They will help avoid any conflicts or miscommunications. Districts don't want to be sued on an ADA issue in which they will not prevail. If the county office of education isn't cooperating (which I'm sure they will), then hire a lawyer.

I think that going from 6th grade to 7th grade is a big deal. He would be going from elementary school up to Jr High in my area.

This may be the only time he could pull this off. If he is doing okay in school that may be where the school board is basing their decision on. If he were flunking or had missed too many days they would have no choice. Since he is passing they really can't just decide to let parents decide what criteria can flunk a student.

I think you may need to talk to an attorney who specializes in civil suits and find out if you can file any paper work on them to force them to rethink the issue. Sometimes even the threat of a lawsuit is enough to get the thinking about avoiding a mess.

On the other hand, if they still say no then he has to go. He may surprise you by maturing. When my kids are around younger kids they act like younger kids. When they are with older kids they act calmer and seem to act much older. It's peer pressure and kids are not immune to it. Being the youngest kids at school really makes them stand up and notice then start emulating.

I'm not sure where you live but in the state of California, parents have the final say in their child's rentention. Good luck!