Do I Have My Son Repeat First Grade Again or Move on to Second Grade

I am no professional but in my personal opinion I say NO.Do not hold him back.I think you could work extra with him through the summer.Some schools even a teacher is willing to work one on one with them.Also enroll him in the summer school program if they offer one.My Brother's son was held back and he knew the stuff just would not do the work.It was really hard on him and made him feel down graded.Also it was hard for him to understand why his friends were moving up and not him.Especially if you say he has a younger brother and that would make them in the same grade.I think that would make him feel less smart.

I read what other posters have said and there is good information there.

I don't know what school district you are in, but in many districts they can't hold a child back unless the parents agree to it.
I would most strongly advise against starting him in the second grade and then putting him back---I know of a couple of kids with this experience---and the peer response to it is HORRIBLE.
If you have the resouces to look privately into any learning disabilities or vision issues I would suggest starting there. I would keep the school out of it until you have decided what you want to do.

With the new NCLB stuff the schools aren't as interested in special needs 'labels' b/c those kids still have to perform at grade level when the testing begins. (And rumor has it some districts in the metro are terrible in meeting the needs of kids with special needs.) Every school and group of kids are different about how they handle the LD students. At my dd's school kids are in and out of the classroom so much ---with EL and LD --it is hard for them to know what a kid is pulled for. (But they are smart - they know who struggles and who speeds through stuff)

From the research I have seen 'retention' is rarely helpful in the long run.

My oldest struggled with school and got extra reading help ...went to summer school etc. AND at the time was reading above grade level. Her class is very advanced - the entire grade- I told me dh we just need to find her a 'dumber' school. (She has been shifted to a class with less advanced kids and is doing better--and she was never doing poorly-- just her peers are straight A students and she isn't at that level)

I had a similar situation in my family. When my sister was in kindergarten, she could either move on to pre-1st or 1st grade. My sister's birthday was right at the cut off, so she was the youngest in her class, started when she was 4 and will graduate when she is 17. Due to her age mostly, she was given the option of going to pre-1st to give her time to develop both in maturity and academics. My parents decided to go ahead and send her on to 1st grade and she has done well ever since.

Your son has a lot of things going for him. Since he has a sibling around the same age, that might help motivate him to learn and to stay a grade level ahead. You're a stay at home mom, so that might give you some more time to focus on helping your son stay on course and to help him work on his reading and math during the summer. Your husband will be coming home soon (I'll be praying for him until he returns) and you mentioned that the teacher said she saw progress after he came back in February. You also said his grades have only started falling since the beginning of this month, so it does sound like you were right in that he's getting tired and ready for the summer.

All that being said, I think your son will do better in the long run to go ahead and go to 2nd grade. Because this school is more advanced, it stands to reason that each of the grades will be more advanced, so getting behind early might hurt him more than help. Also if he stays behind, if you transfer to another school that is not so advanced, your son may be so far ahead that he is bored and his grades may slip. You have the whole summer to work with him and if it doesn't help, you do have the option of sending him back to 1st grade later on in the school year. I'd try to avoid testing for a learning disability unless it is absolutely necessary. It sounds like there are a lot of personal things (dad gone, moving to new school, sibling at same level) that are contributing to grades and learning more so than actual learning ability, but you know your son, so do what you feel is right.

Everyone's opinion is just that, an opinion. We can only see what you have written, so really listen to your family members and your heart. I'd also talk to your son and let him know his options and let him weigh in. Let him know if he goes on to 2nd grade, it's going to be hard work, even during the summer, and let him think about that. His attitude will make a big difference, so if he's on board, it'll be much easier for you and your family regardless of which decision you make. I know you will make the best decision for your son that you can, so good luck with whatever you choose!

My son went to Kindergarten this year and was the youngest in his class. All year we have been struggling with reading, they had him in a one on one reading program too. Last Friday, his teacher stopped me and said he is reading on grade level now. I still wonder if I should hold him back because of his maturity level. I mean when he's older, being one of the oldest could be a good thing. Right now he would graduate at 17. We are going to send him on to first grade because academically he has succeeded this year.

In your case I would do whatever it takes to keep him out of the L.D. system. I was tested for a learning disability and it has haunted me ever since. The school district receives grants to teach L.D. students, the more L.D. students, the more money...get my point? The problem with the Oklahoma special education system and the learning disability lab classes is they are taught subject material at a much slower pace, thus, new material is introduced much later than peers. What happens is by the time the student reaches middle school in the 6th grade they may have only been introduced reading material up to 4th grade. Contrary to popular belief these classes do not allow a student to work at their own pace. The L.D. teacher uses different material from a lower grade level. Ultimately, what happens is the student is never able to be mainstreamed because the L.D. classes focus on getting these students to pass the subject instead of striving to get the student back on grade level. Grades are what make a school and its teachers look good. Not only was I an L.D. student I also have a family full of teachers.

I wish back when I was in first grade and not reading as well as they thought I should that my mom would have just held me back instead of having me tested for a learning disability. It took me a long time to overcome the "retard" label that follows any student that goes to "lab" for any subject. The school will tell you otherwise but kids are mean and we all know that. Don't believe the school if they push L.D. testing. I have since graduated college but there were courses in high school I really wanted to take and was not allowed because of my L.D. label. I hated the L.D. thing so much when I was 16 and my mom gave me the option of a car or a years tutoring at Sylvan Learning Center...I chose Sylvan. I never regreted it. In 10th grade I was on a 7th grade math level and a 8th grade reading level... 10 months at Sylvan and I was on grade level in both subjects and it only took them 1 hour a week for each subject with just a few problems during that hour and no home work. It is expensive but if there is any way you can make it happen I would send him on to first grade and let Sylvan catch him up.

My kids are younger but I was wondering if the school has any summer program that he could take to help him prepare for the second grade, or find something in town like sylvan if you can afford it. The other option is if you have time to get work books together and try to get him ready yourself or find someone in town who might want to help. When I was in second grade I couldn't read and all of there programs didn't work so we found a lady that homeschooled her kids at my grandmothers church and she taught me over the summer. There also should be a way for hime to get tested for alearning disibilty right away you M. have to cause a fuse and go over the teacher and principals heads but the sooner you know the better since this will effect how he will be taught to get him caught up. Hope this helps. K.

T.,
I was a second grade teacher in Norman for 16 years.
It is hard to see kids struggle who should have been held back. Do you live in a small town where all the second gradres are in the same class? If they can each be in a separate class, that may not be an issue.
Your younger child may be exceptionally bright, but try not to compare the two, even though it is tempting. I suggest you have someone outside the picture assess your first grader's abilities, since it sounds like he hasn't had any type of testing yet. It is common not to do learning disability testing until 3rd grade, although he should have already had extensive reading testing. Do you know any first or second grader teachers through your church, friends, or such? Someone with a lot of experience might be able to tell you where they think your son stands.
I would also be curious as to what math program he is in. If you are in Norman and he is in Everyday Math, that would explain confusion in that area.
I know this is a tough decision. It sounds like the teacher isn't sure either. Also, you don't have to decide right now. You should have the whole summer before school starts again, although you may be pressured to decide now just so they can prepare their class lists for August. You might consider an experienced tutor for the summer to get additional help and have more time.
I had a boy in this same situation in my 2nd grade class about four years ago. His kindergarten brother could read better than he could and just had better cognitive skills all around. They were from a professional, intelligent family. The 2nd grader was eventually tested and was placed in a learning disabilities lab at school.
Write back to me if you have more questions. Good luck in this hard situation.
D.

I traveled and moved alot as a child, and some schools were easier and some were harder, alot of times I was half thru the year before I adjusted. But, I think, leave him in and let him redo the harder grade, he would benefit more. When I moved from Phoenix to Kansas City, school was so easy, I regressed horribly, I was so bored. I think the challenge is the way everytime, that way if he rises to the occasion you will know, then you wont feel you jumped the gun.
Just my advice.

Meet with the teacher and principal and really listen to what they have to say. Even though his grades may be falling now that the end of school is near, that doesn't necessarily mean he isn't CAPABLE of doing the work, he just may be getting Spring Fever. The teacher and principal won't tell you to move him on if they feel he needs to be held back. Good luck to you, and I hope your husbands returns safely home soon~tell him we're proud of him! :o)

Statistics show that when a child fails a grade and is held back they end up doing worse than a child who fails and is allowed to move on to the next grade. I strongly suggest passing him on for this reason, but helping him and stressing to him how important doing well in school is. Make sure he knows you are there to help him whenever he needs it and that should give him the confidence he needs to excel!!
--Hope this helps
--S.

I would def go ahead and send him on to 2nd grade, and also have him tested for any LD. I agree that it could be due to changes going on in life etc.. With your husband coming back around next school year, I'm sure that'll help, especially if he was doing much better when he was back for a few weeks as you had said. It wouldn't hurt to maybe find a place like Sullivan Learning Center etc to get him some more help over the summer with reading. My friend's daughter did reading recovery for 1st & 2nd grade, and now she's doing great. I think it's the whole one on one thing, and there isn't the distraction of all the other classmates maybe. I think if you did hold him back and he was in the same grade as his sibling, he might take that more personally and it could hurt him more in the long run.. Give the 2nd grade a try, see what the teachers and tests say in the end. He can always go back if it doesn't work. I'm sure you know this all ready, but don't let him know that you have some doubt to his abilities, the more you back him up and show extra support, the more it boosts his confidence etc! Good Luck and I hope it all works out!

I had the same thing happen with our son. We moved to Texas while my husband was in Iraq. Our son was in transitional first grade here in Oklahoma but in Texas they didn't offer it and put him into an actual first grade. He was only in first grade the last few months of school. He was a little behind when we got there and we put him into a reading program and even went to summer school and he even went to summer school. The reading instructor and the teacher said that they thought he adjusted really well and that he was more then ready to go to second grade. So he started the second grade in Texas and he was doing really well. Well, then my husband was due to come home in a few days in October and so we moved back to Oklahoma. Well, when I wanted to put him into second here they didn't want to. They said since he didn't complete a whole year of first grade that he would have to go back to first grade. They said there was no way that he would be at second grade level. They said all this without testing him or anything. They said they would test him and if he was at second grade level they would move him up. I was furious. My son was devastated because he was already in the second and was passed according to him he didn't understand why he would have to do first all over. Well, he didn't even want to try in first grade at first and what made me mad was that they never even tested him like they said they would. They tested him at the end of the year. My husband felt he wasn't ready and I felt he was. Now that our son did an extra year of first grade he is now the number one reader in his class and he enjoys reading and he enjoyes math. He isnt struggling and he feels confidant in himself now because he is doing really well. We aren't taking two to three hours a night to do homework anymore like we had to do when he was in second. He makes a 100 on all of his spelling tests and we don't really study for them at all. I think the extra year of first grade made him grow.

My sister in law is having the same issues with her 1st grade son and was told by the 2nd grade teachers to go ahead and send him that many teachers call 2nd grade the "catch up year". They don't know why but many children seem to "catch up" to their peers in 2nd grade. I know that has been the case in my daughters 2nd grade class. They also told her that if he was still behind at the end of 2nd grade then they could re-evaluate as to if he needed held back. Hope this helps a little.

When we moved our dauter from Private schools to public ( we moved to get into this public school district) she was behind in reading. They hinted at holding her back - we siad no - that was the changed from first to seconf - now she is going from 4th -5th - she is a little above level. I would suggest reading programs this summer - that seemed to really help.
I would not hold him back.

I ditto everyone who applauds the job you are doing on your own, with FOUR little BOYS! What a tired mama you must be by the end of the day.

For all the reasons you stated, I'd move him up, and do what you have to do to get your son a tutor - Sylvan or someone good recommended by the school district - get him up to level that way. I'd find someone to work with him over the summer to give him a leg up in the fall. We have an 11 year old who has struggled with school all along, but year by year we see progress as he matures, and as he begins to care what his peers are doing (most are still doing their school work at this age, thankfully). It's taken a LOT of individual attention, cajoling, consequences, sometimes a bribe! And it can be a thing that doesn't go away. Our other two do their homework, no prodding, little help required, but this child needs to be settled down and often redirected back to his work every, single day.

Good luck to you, and your husband will be in my prayers for a safe and speedy return to your family.

Hi T.,
Well in my opinion I would send him on to the the 2nd grade. You have to also look at what is going on in your home right now ie your husband is deployed, you just moved, they're going to a new school, school is almost out, making new friends anything else that I forgot to mention. This is alot of change right now.
I think giving the summer to adjust maybe doing some reading over the summer and starting the school year or close to there of with dad home will make alot of differences. I don't think there is a learning disability here I think it's alot of things changing.
And you are doing an awesome job for being the mommy to 4 boys and while you husband is gone. Hang in there, W. mom of 4

I would consider sending him on, only if you get him some professional tutorial services this summer. You can talk with his teachers at school - they can recommend a service, or in many cases, the teachers do paid tutoring during the summer when school is out.

Good luck!!!

Wow! You have a lot on your plate! It sounds like you are a great and supportive parent. That is what your little guy needs.
Please send him on to 2nd grade. Retention is rarely in the best interest of the child. Especially with a sibling coming right up. The Light's Retention Scale is a good survey to see if retention would be appropriate in your case. You can get it at your school and probably online? It does not sound like a case that you would want to retain. Retention is so hard on kids it separates them from their friends and makes them feel dumb. They will always be the oldest. It is hard on them!
In the days of differentiated instruction teachers work to meet the children where they are and build from there. Continue to advocate for him if you feel that he needs special services. I hope things work out well for you!

Hello,
I would hold him back for a year. That way you can't say latter I should of. But if you are going to I would do it now. It will be a fresh start and that way you know he will not fall behind, he wiil catch up to all the others. well Good luck and god bless! Tell your husband Thank you I know it has to be hard on you and your family. I have a lot of respect for you and your husband. You guys are why we are free!!! Thanks again!