Help!!! 23 Mo old...will Not Stop Screaming!

My daughter is doing this, too. She does it when she is tired and overly excited, or when I am talking to my husband and not paying attention to her. I just consistantly (like the other person said) whisper to her "that's too loud, it hurts my ears." and continue to talk to my husband. Explain to me, please, exactly what you think these "pow pows" accomplish. I mean, I believe that you aren't hitting him hard enough to hurt him, but you are conveying to your son that it is okay to hit someone if they're doing something you don't like, and I guarantee that he's not learning anything from them. I'm just saying... This is a hard age, and nothing will work the first time. Be consistant, make sure he gets enough attention otherwise, and don't give him any reaction or attention when he does it other than telling him it's not okay. I guarantee he is doing it to get a reaction out of you, because often to children they don't care what kind of attention they get as long as they get it.

I just got my son out of this phase...he is 30 months old. I run a daycare out my home and my son went through major screaming (loud) if something upset him, he didn't get what he wanted. I CONSISTANTLY would calmly walk over and say "You are hurting my ears...please try and use your words" He now uses words like "NO" or STOP because I coached him what to say. There were times that his screaming led to crying because I coudn't figure out what he was screaming about...instead of getting frustrurated, I would lay him in his crib and say when he calms down, maybe he could tell mommy what was bothering him and he needed a regroup time for 5 minutes. He would eventually calm down and show me what happened. I would tell him everytime he screams...OH NO, you need to use your words, you are hurting my ears. If you are consistant, he'll come around. It took me 2 months. I now praise my son when he uses his words. Good luck. Let us all know hat happens.

My first thought was that perhaps he feels that he is not getting enough attention? He has to compete with your 5 month old for Dad's time, so maybe this is his way of ensuring he gets noticed? He also may be frustrated because he wants to communicate but is limited for now with how he can express himself. Have you tried bending down to his level, looking him directly in the eyes, and focusing directly on him and asking him in a calm, firm voice to "use your words" and then patiently listen to what he is trying to tell you. If he cannot at least use a few words, maybe you could ask him questions and he could point or nod yes or no to get his thought across. My son used to let out this ear-piercing scream when he was upset and we tried to keep our cool and bend down to address his needs and it seemed to work. Also, with regards to the 5 month old, try to get your son to "help" you with attending to the baby. Like ask him if he can bring you the baby lotion, etc. He may be acting out due to jealousy, which is totally normal, so perhaps including him in the care for the new baby may make him less anxious. Or, he may be missing YOU, even though he has an awesome Dad to care for him. Either way, hey....it's tough to be 2! Just keeping loving him! He is lucky to have two parents that love each other and him! Best wishes!

Hi J.,
I really like Tausha's advice. I would say you need to get to the root cause so that it doesn't develop into even more difficult behavior. If it is sibling related you wouldn't want him to take it out on your little one. Ever since my son was 9mos old we started teaching him sign language. I had heard it was an alternative way for kids to express themselves when they just couldn't say the words. While my son was very good about learning how to talk early on, he still used his sign language every once in a while and still does. You might try that approach and see if it helps. I wouldnt discipline so much because usually acting out is a sign that there is a deeper issue. It is your job as parents to draw that out of your children.. I realize it will be difficult at 23mos.

Best wishes,
C.

http://www.ToxicFreeFamily.net
http://www.HelpUStayHome.com

Hi J., By sending him to his room, i think you are doing the right thing, pow's pow's where the child doesn
t feel any discomfort are worthless, at almost 2 don't be affrid to tan his behind, but if that doesn't set well with you then send hime to his room, tell him this is the scream room, out there is the family room, so you cant scream out there and make it clear when you are done screaming you may come back out with the family. When kids are small, they are very trainable, but you can't be affraid to disciplin them, when are kids were small it was two swats on the butt, that was it, and it was a rear thing in our home if my husband had to discipline our kids for the same thing more than twice, he made the 2 swats count, and we were able to enjoy their childhoods more because they learned what was appropreate and was not by the time they were 2. mother for 24 years, J.

J.,

My son did this and still does once in awhile. Put him in his room and/or crib and let him calm down. I used to have to give my son a time out in his room for 15 mins until he could forget whatever was upsetting him. I think the timeout is better than trying to reason with an upset child that can't think straight. It also used to give me a few minutes to relax and destress from the situation.

L.