Dealing with Evil Catty Girls

just keep encouraging your daughter to be the bigger person. if she thinks she should confront them... then do it! (if the relationship is worth it.) you really would be surprised how quicky bad behavior stops when you've been called out on it! my biggest thought is DON'T GET INVOLVED! we have this mom we're dealing with, over my way... it's terrible. just keep reassuring her that she is o.k. you're o.k and remember, she's learning from you how to deal with these type of people. so let it roll off your back. even if you have to fake it!

Girls will be girls. Dont be too upset with this girl. She is very young and she doesnt know how to act. When she grows up she will look back at it and be very embarrased about the way she acted. That sweet girl you used to know is still in there somewhere but is probably taken over by some crazy hormones and some influence of others. I wouldnt tell your daughter to ignore her because that may just fuel the fire, and make her a target to get picked on. I would just tell your daughter to be the sweet kid she is and try to not let it bother her or show the mean girl she cares. This will make your daughter stronger and learn how to deal with things, unfortunately it is a fact of life. And under no circumstances should your daughter quit anything because of this girl, that would mean she won and got what she wanted. There may be a little jealousy too. Maybe your daughter could take it as a compliment? Easy said then done I know. Are you close with this girls mother? Maybe you could have a secret little talk with her mom? I know if my child was acting like that I would want to know asap, but thats just me. Like I said dont get too mad at her, she is just a kid. I am really not looking forward to my daughters mean girl days. I hope it gets better!

Your daughter is learning early, that there will always be witches in this world. They are what they are, and will more than likely not change. Your daughter however can change the way she reacts(or doesn't) to their negative behavior, and more than likely they won't mess with her. I wouldn't speak to them unless she has to. I don't mean for her to be rude to them, or ignore them, but just speak to them only when she has to. Be polite when she has to talk to them. She needs to be firm with them, and as long as she knows to always be nice(that doesn't mean to get walked on)she will have the upper hand. She will be more respected than those other girls. Good luck!! Aren't you glad you're not a teenager anymore?!! :)

I went to a Catholic High School and boy did this bring back A LOT of memories...I know from experience, YOU as a mother, need to appear to stay out of this. You however, could strategically speak to a teacher, principal or vice principal...these teachers HAVE to monitor the halls during class exchanges...catty girls don't always look over their shoulders to see WHO is listening to their cat calls...perhaps, if the staff was aware of what was going on, they could be called out. Surely, this is not the kind of SCHOOL SPIRIT they would like to protray from their spirit squad??? Under any administration, this sounds like bullying and I know even my Kindergarteners school has a zero tolerance level...I think it's time others are brought into this...even if it is just a well placed call. That way, no one has seen you talking to any of these individuals. Just a thought.

i agree with everything that molly said, and i also wanted to add that you sound like a great mom. thank goodness she feels she can talk to you about this kind of stuff. just reinforce that she is the same beautiful sweet girl she's always been, that there's nothing wrong with her just because these girls are acting nasty. don't turn it into drama, any more than it already is at least. just remember you're the adult here. good luck. (this is why i'm SO glad i have a boy!! lol)

Man do I hate this kind of stuff.

This will actually be up to your daughter to stop listening to the catty b.s. that the other cheer squad members are perpetuating. If they start talking about others when she is present, she needs to firmly excuse herself and go find something else to do.
She can cheer with her, but limit her interaction with her as long as she is being ugly and vindictive toward others. She has to know that she is doing this to her behind her back as well, so allowing it to go on in her presence isn't a good idea. She may not even have to confront her, just remove herself from the girls vicinity. Eventually this girl will ask why she doesn't want to hang out, sit with her, stay in the same room. Your daughter can then tell her, I don't like the way you act toward other people, I don't like how you treat them/me. I don't want to be around it. If you want to hang out with me, you cant say things like that. Period.
Then stick to it.
It will be hard, but your daughter has other friends.
I did this my Junior year when my best friend started hanging out with a girl that just thought it was funny to degrade and humiliate people in public(for laughs). I told her, "I don't like the way she treats people, I won't be around her and if you want to hang out with me, she will not be with you." I then proceeded to spend the entire summer with other friends. That next school year, my best friend told me that it really hurt her feelings when I wouldn't hang out with her. I said I was sorry, and I missed her. But I didn't want to be around the other girl. She admitted I was right and she gradually stopped hanging out the the catty girl.
do you want to hear the hysterical part of all this?
The catty girl caught up with me YEARS later when we were out of school. She told me she had spent most of that year being afraid of me, because I had told her at one point when she was being mean to someone that if she didn't stop it I was going to jerk her arm off and beat her with it. I told her I meant it at the time and I thought she had acted like a jerk. She didn't know why she ever behaved like that and was really embarrassed at her behavior. Do you know she's one of the nicest people I know now?
People who have to run others down to make themselves feel better are really scared, and don't like themselves. That doesn't make them any less awful, nonetheless.