how do you keep them in their own bed? the 6.5 year old will go to sleep in his bed, but when he wakes up alone he comes wandering in.....and he kicks like crazy! We just put the 3 year old in her toddler bed and now she wakes up screaming when she is alone,.....now they both are in there. I have tried taking them back to bed only to end up sleeping on their floors.....I have tried shutting their doors, then they scream and bang on the door. that wouldnt be so bad if their rooms werent next to each other and they didnt wake each other up. I have also tried shutting and locking our door,,,,they just stand out there banging and screaming and cryin......so then you get no sleep and everyone is awake.....any help....PLEASE!!!!
I would try having them share a room. Maybe having each other there will be comforting enough for everyone to get a good night's sleep. I don't think it matters that you have a boy and a girl. They are still young enough not to really have that be an issue. Good luck.
I'd set up a chart. Every night he stays in his own bed, he gets a sticker, after so many he gets something, a toy, dinner out, whatever you know he'll work for.
this question comes up quite frequently on this forum and someone always says that you should not start this "bad" habit in the first place. I say there is a time and place for everything--would anyone say, wow I should not have started my baby on the bad habit of wearing diapers because now I have to get her/him used to going on the potty? (and believe it or not there are people who train themselves to get their babies to not wear diapers!). Sleeping with parents is perfectly ok for when they are infants and when they are sick--you just need to teach them a different way when they are older--just like with potty training--and every child is an individual as to when they are ready. For my girls we had a transition time of sleeping on a sleeping bag on the floor--they started out in their own bed then they could get in the sleeping bag on their own during the night. AS long as they did not wake me up they would get a reward--if they woke me up they had to go to their own bed. They learned to be very quiet when they came in--and guess what they eventually learned to sleep in their own beds all night on their own time! Kids are little for so long enjoy them! Forcing your kids to sleep alone is not the answer--also have you considered having the kids sleep together. We humans are like all mammals and we need the closeness of another person--though pets can do also. Your son is still young enough that it is okay for them to sleep in the same bed or at least the same room. My girls all liked sleeping in the same room-- even after I bought a house and my younger girls could each have their own room they still liked to share sometimes when they were lonely or scared.
It's probably best to never start the habit in the first place, but it's a little too late for that advice. :)
As painful as it will be, I really think you need to walk them back to their rooms, shut their door (or yours), and walk away. They will probably throw a fit (as you described) and nobody will get any sleep that night. They'll be good and tired the next night, though! Be consistent. It will get better and better each night, until they finally realize they need to stay in their own beds. As I said, those first few nights are going to be rough, but it doesn't sound like anyone is getting a great night of sleep as it is. A few rough nights in the short term will be worth it in the long term.
When our daughter was little she always wanted to sleep with us. It was hard to keep her in her own room because she would say she was scared too. When the kicking started we told her the only way she cold sleep in our room was to use her sleeping bag I got a sponge pad for under it and she was happy and we got a good nights sleep.
Good luck
M.
We've co-slept with most of our kids & it can be a bit tough to transition them.
With our oldest, she was three when it was time to move her out of our bed. I took her to the store & let her pick out new sheets & a comforter for her "big girl bed." Then we made a chart to hang next to her bed. For sleeping in her new bed all by herself, all night long for one week, she got the sheets. When she'd stayed in bed for a month, she got the comforter. It worked like a charm.
Every morning she'd wake up & run into our room & shout, "I get a sticker for my chart! I'm almost there!" She was so proud of her Dora bed that we never had a bit of trouble keeping her in it after that.
Good luck!!
I've never had my children in my bed, ages 11, 8 and 2.5. But my suggestion would be to be firm, sit them down and explain to them that you all have your own beds and that is where they sleep at night. Talk to them and try to find out why they dont like to be alone at night, what are they afraid of? Do they need to sleep with the light on maybe? I had to do that with my 11 year old when she was 3 so she would let me leave her room, then later I would come turn it off. Maybe let them sleep in the same room for a while, until they get used to not being with you, they could feel comforted by being together, then transition into being alone again. Make sure they arent watching things on tv that could scare them or give them night mares like evil cartoons with bad guys...etc
Keep at it and be consistant. If you believe in prayer, try praying with your children before they go to sleep. reminding them that God is watching over them and keeping them safe. If they wake up in the night, put them back to bed again and again pray with them. This always calmed my children and helped them get back to sleep after nightmares, etc. Sometimes I sang a soothing lulaby to them if they were more aggitated also. (No, I don't have a beautiful singing voice.) That doesn't matter to little ones, though. Best wishes for success!
Could the two children sleep in a room together? Maybe this would be less lonely and they wouldn't get so scared. Maybe bunkbeds would be fun. I only have one child who is 4, and she sleeps in her bed right next to ours. She often crawls in without my even knowing. Sure beats a night of screaming, pounding and tears! I don't know your family situation, but it sounds like they need comfort and security right now, so maybe give up the battle of wills right now and try a co-sleeping situation. Read Nigttime Parenting and other books by William Sears. Good luck!
Why not see if they will sleep together or in the same room. If you are up anyway at least you could be in one room. Maybe they will find comfort not being alone. The six year old could loose privlages during the day if he doesn't stay in his own bed too. No TV, computer ect. I would sit him down and tell him what is going to happen. He needs to stay in his own bed, if he comes in to see you in the middle of the night you will give him a kiss and hug but then he needs to return to his be with no complaint or he will loose whatever privilage you decide upon. You could do a similar punishment for your three year old as well, but that will definitely be harder for her to get the idea. Try your best I know it is frustrating when you are tired I go through some nights too. Good luck I hope whatever you decide upon will work. Look at the bright side by the time they are in high school they probably won't do it anymore :)
hi C.,
first i will tell you that from a child's perspective it can be scary having your parents lock you out of their bedroom. my mom started doing it to me and i would cry endlessly outside her room. i still rememmber it because it was traumatizing for me. they could be having nightmares like i was. i would try a sleeping bag on the floor. tell them to be quite when they come in. reward them in the morning. eventually they will stop coming into your room. good luck! i know it's difficult functioning without any sleep.
we put our two kids otgether yes boy and girl and hte facthat they had someone else in teh room made all the difference adn they stayed in bed and in their rooms sometimes they sleep togehter but so what every one is getting rtest!
Good Luck
Why does everyone wnat to push the kids out of the bed anymore. Our oldest slept with us when he was scared or ill and needed mama close till he decided he was a big boy now About 7 or 8. It was never a problem with my husband and I with our togetherness. Our youngest did the same thing. The grand kids when they stayed over for years wanted to sleep with us. A queen size bed offers allot more room than a standard full size. My sister and I at times had to sleep with our parents. It was that or the floor. My sister for years slept on a baby mattress in their room in the floor for about 3 years till she out grew it.
My kids have always been allowed to sleep in my bed whenever they wanted to. My kids are 16 (girl) and 14 (boy). When they were 3 and 5, we bought them bunk beds and decorated their room. After that, neither of them came into our room unless they were sick. I think just knowing someone else was in the room with them helped very much.
It seems to me that not wanting to sleep alone is human nature. We don't sleep alone as adults so why should we force our children to? Childhood can be a scarey time. Kids have incredibly intence imaginations and even the littlest thing can be turned into a huge fear. Perhapse you could try moving your two children into the same room together for a little while. Maybe just knowing that the other is there would be enough to help them get back to sleep on their own.
C.,
Everyone is different. Parents AND children. I would totally support the co-sleeping arrangement, except that I am a terribly light sleeper and wake up at every sigh and snort. To top it off, my daughter is a kicker and a wiggler when she's sleeping. She does this 'tent' thing with her legs ... well, you understand. What I'm saying is, don't let anyone make you feel bad for wanting to sleep alone in your own bed. Co-sleeping isn't for everyone.
I think the idea of making a little 'nest' for your kids in your room is a good idea. If they both wake up in the middle of the night, they have to share it. Blankets, sleeping bags, etc. Tell them to haul their own pillows into the room and they'll be fine.
I hope you get some sleep soon!
J.
Hello. I have a few completly different suggestions. You could...A) let them sleep with you for convience and sleep (which I am guilty of). B) Do the Nanny 911 routine and just keep walking them back to bed and on the third trip don't say anything, just walk them back to their room and put them in bed (this takes alot of time and patience). C) (I did this with my now 5 yo) make them a 'school bed' on your floor next to your bed. They are at the age where night tremors/terrors start (which my 5yo goes through) and I found with her sleeping on the floor next to our bed we all get sleep and aren't kicked to death. It also made a smoother transition to get her to stay in her own bed (and in all honesty she does occasionally wake up and crawl into our room). Also, it shows them that you are always available to them, even though you aren't right next to them. Hope that helps...Best of Luck!
We never let my oldest, who is now 4 1/2, sleep in our bed when she was a baby and to this day she stays in her bed all night unless something is wrong. Now my younger daughter, who is 3, that is a different story. We would let her sleep with us here and there, just to get her to sleep. Since we put her in a regular bed earlier this year, she wanders into our room most every night. We would let her fall back asleep in our bed, then carry her back to her room. Then a couple hours of later she would be back. It was getting to the point where no one was getting a good night's sleep. I was talking to a co-worker about it and he said then when his daughter did that, they spoke to the pediatrician about it. The Dr. told them to tell their child if they woke up and wanted to come into the parents bedroom to bring a sleeping bag with them and lay it on the floor next to the parents bed and go back to sleep there, without waking the parents up. My co-worker tried it and it worked. My husband and I have recently been doing this with our 3 year old, except I set up the sleeping bag next to our bed and had it ready for her. I explained to her before she went to bed what it was for. That she couldn't sleep with Mommy and Daddy anymore. Well, that night she came in and was crying. I explained to her that she had to sleep in the sleeping bag. She climbed in and was in there for about a minute and started to cry. I explained to her that she could sleep in the sleeping bag or in her our bed. She chose her own bed. She came back later that night and I explained to her the options again and she chose her bed again. Then that was it for that night. The next night she came in only once and I gave her the options. The next night she didn't come in at all. Now I don't get out the sleeping bag, but I have it waiting in the closet just in case. I honestly didn't think it would work, but I was pleasantly surprised. Another thing that has also helped her is having music playing when she goes to sleep. I have a CD of children's music and I turn the CD player on a let it run. I turn it off before I go to bed, but sometimes I will turn it back on if she gets up. Good luck. I know it is hard.
The older they are, the harder the transition will be. You must be consistent. You slip up one time and it's worse than starting from scratch because they'll test even more. After all, you caved in one time so if they keep at it you'll cave again.
It's simple in theory, but exhausting for you and your husband. And you both must be on the same page. So the simple answer is this - just walk them back to their rooms everytime they come out before a certain time in the morning. Put a clock in their room. Even a 3 year old can "tell time" if you draw a picture of "7 o'clock" and tape it to the wall next to the clock. (my kids learned within weeks of their 3rd birthday). They come to your room, you say "it's not time to get up yet" and walk them to their room. When they leave (which will probably be on your heels), take their hand, walk back to their room and DO NOT TALK. Do not engage them. Remain calm. And yes, you'll probably have to do it 50+ times the first night. Start on a Friday night so you and your husband can take turns napping during the day. The first few nights will be rough but you may be surprised how easy the 2nd or 3rd night will be. Consistency is key.
It also helps to sit down with the kids before bedtime the first night and explain "this is the new house rule - everyone in their own bed".
