Co-sleeping and It's Natural - or Unnatural - Conclusion

Each Mom "stops" or continues it as they feel to.
But for us, me and Hubby, we are on the same page about it all... so co-sleeping was never a thing where we had to "stop" or "continue" as a point of contention between us as a couple.

I have co-slept with both my kids since birth... and now, they have their own beds which they sleep in too. But, we also have a floor futon in our room... whereby the kids can sleep if they want, in our room. A sort of variation of co-sleeping. But prior, they were in our bed, or on the floor futon in which I slept with them, when they were younger. Thus, now at their present ages... they are not IN "our" bed per say... but in the same room, if they need be. It works out well for us.

And for naps, my kids sleep in their own beds. But at night... this is when they either sleep on the floor futon in our room, or in their own room. We really don't mind and its a nice thing when the kids are in our room... like camping out. One day they will not even want to be near their parents. For now, it provides closeness and bonding and comforting for them. Both my kids are VERY independent kids and very self-confident and secure. I think it provides the kids with a nice sort of "being."

We got our kids their own room/beds when we felt THEY were ready for it. Each child being different. It was at about 2.5 years old. But we let them know that they are not a prisoner of their rooms, but it is THEIR room/bed & special. At certain age junctures, a child also goes through night-time 'fears' and what not, and us "allowing" them to come into our room (on the floor futon) if they want... has REALLY made the transition to THEIR own room/beds, more accepted. We did not make their rooms/their own bed be like a place to be "separate" or "alone."

For my son, he more often sleeps "with us" on the floor futon in our room... he being younger. We don't mind. I will lie with him reading and talking story (which is a good routine for us) and he falls asleep. Then I just get up and do what I want and go back to my/Hubby's bed. So, my son is used to sleeping "by himself" on the floor futon. I do NOT have to STAY there with him. Now. He is used to that. Or he sleeps by himself in his room, or with his sister. It really does not matter to us... the MAIN THING being that the kids sleep. And sleep well. Which they do.

So, we are "flexible" about it all and sleeping.
I remember as a child... sleeping with my parents too. They NEVER minded. I would fall asleep in my own room... and in the middle of the night would creep down the hallway in the dark and crawl into bed with my parents. I did so because I simply missed them and/or was afraid of sleeping in the dark in my room, alone. Gradually, me or any kid, grows out of it and the "need" to sleep with their parents.

Some nights, my kids just say they want to be by themselves and sleep in their own bed. Fine. Some nights they want to be with us in our room on the floor futon. Fine.
NO BIGGIE for them, or us.

There are many "variations" of co-sleeping.... AND it will gradually transition itself to more "separate" ways of sleeping.

We NEVER FORCED the situation with our kids, that they sleep ALL night by themselves in their room/beds, nor punished them if they did not or did. We believe, that sleep should be a good nice thing to do... without struggle or conflict or angst or fighting. Thus, our kids sleep very well and totally cooperate when we say "bedtime soon..." and they go willingly. They feel secure and safe and "happy" in doing so. We never made it a "negative" experience for them.

And yes, we as Parents get a good sleep. Even through the normal sleep wakings as is normal per the development of a child.

All the best,
Susan

I have 3 kids and we have co-slept with all 3. After they started sleeping through the night as infants (all ~8-12 weeks), they would start in their own bed, and if they woke up during the night they came into bed with us. My one piece of advice is, if you think you want to try the cry it out method, do it now. It is a lot easier to do this with an 8 month old. I tried when my oldest was 18 months and it did not work with him. I always rocked him to sleep when he was a baby. I know partly that it was his personality, so he stayed co-sleeping with us on and off until he was ~4. For my other 2, they both learned to fall asleep on their own, and if they woke up I would give them a few minutes to cry it out, usually it lasted less than a minute. If it was longer, I would bring them in bed with me. I guess you just have to figure out what works best for your family. If you don't mind him in bed with you, keep him there. They do eventually sleep in their own bed.

So far you have co-sleeping moms and am I not so... really I think you should do what works for you. Sounds like your baby is a huge sleeper already. I'm surprised an 8 month old is still taking 3 naps! When I was reading your post I keep looking for you to say that you don't want to use cry it out because every time you pacify your child to sleep with a swing or yourself (you must go through a lot of batteries!). Letting them learn to fall asleep on their own is not a bad thing, crying is just their only way to communicate. My children didn't learn to sleep through the night until I could let them cry it out.
He probably will eventually ween himself from you but you really need to decide if you want to be his crutch where you are always the one to put him to sleep for the next two years. I just put my baby (16 months now) in her crib for nap and bedtime fully awake and she goes to sleep without crying. I'm just not going to get into a habit of having children rely on me to get to sleep.

If you're wanting to change, I'd suggest you start having him sleep alone in his crib for nap(s). (I want to note here that he probably won't sleep as long since hes not being lulled into a sleepy trance). Have him start sleep at night in his own bed and then if he wakes you can bring him in bed with you and when you're ready let him cry it out.

Good luck!

Why change something that is working so well?

I co-slept with both. Hubby and I were never sleep deprived. Neither child slept through the night until the age of 2 (when they were night weaned) but since we co-slept we all still got our sleep.

Now move forward a few years, my daughter is 7 and my son will soon be 5. They are incredible sleepers. They are both very independent, both enjoy going to bed and both sleep all night (again, they have since they were night weaned). Both slept with us on/off until 2.5.3 years of age. Sometimes one or the other winds up in our bed and when hubby is out of town, sometimes the three of us fall asleep together in my bed. But they have no trouble going to bed in their bed and they sleep great.

When we transitioned out of our bed, we started with a mattress on the floor of our room and then eventually in to their own room. We took it slow.

You'll hear both sides, do what works for YOUR family! If you are all happy and sleeping well, then you are doing something right! And YOU'VE done it both ways! The only advice I'd give is to steer clear of well meaning folks that tell you he'll never be able to sleep on his own. He will.

Best wishes,
M.

My reluctant husband and I co-slept with both our sons. Our first (now 6) was in his own bed by age 3 and our second (2 yrs old) is in his own bed. I do not regret the time we spent co-sleeping and I find my sons to be comfortable and bonded to us.

Still, I would have appreciated more cuddle time with my husband and the weaning was a bit difficult with our first son.

NOW, however, my husband and I sleep soundly, cuddle and other things and the boys are fine "on their own."

I have co-slept with every child and have not done anything @ all to move them from our bed. They wean themselves naturally over time. When I want time alone with my husband we get them to sleep in their own beds by laying down with them or we get them to sleep in ours and leave the room and go some where else in the house.

I get more sleep with this method, I also get more time with my kids and everyone gets their need to be held and touched taken care of. I still remember the empty scared lonely feeling of sleeping alone as a child and I do not want my kids to do it until they are ready. The oldest 2 mostly always do now on their own, the 3 year old does some times and some time not, but will always go to sleep in her own room shortly after I lay down and read to her. The 3 month old nurses alot of the night so I would miss all my sleep if I did otherwise.

To find out more about what science has discovered about co-sleeping I would visit Mothering.com and search co-sleeping, you will find alot of factual data to help you decide.

If everything is going well, why would you want to change it? My daughter co-slept with me until she was 3, and then, on her own, she chose to go into her own bed. And we had no fighting and no tears and no nothing - just a very peaceful transition that occurred when she was ready.

Good luck!

I also have a twin bed next to our bed and our son can come in and sleep anytime he wants sometimes he does sometimes he doesn't. He has bunkbeds he shares with his big brother and usually starts off sleeping in his room but will come in our room about 4am and goes right to sleep I never have to get up in the middle of the night. And just in case your worried my older two are now 18 & 15 they always sleep in their own rooms they will out grow it!!! Enjoy this time while you can its one of the best gifts you can give your child.