19 Month Screaming

Keep the fingers out of his mouth. You could accidentally scratch or choke him if he jerks his head. Look him eye-to-eye and tell him that he's not coming out of time out until he stops screeming. Screeming is NOT ACCEPTABLE! Be strong and keep him there. You already have half the problem solved because he doesn't come out of time out until you go get him. Don't use the loving, caring voice you usually use. Time out is necessary to be firm...don't waiver mom and dad.

Timeouts are really counterproductive and even when they work in the short term, they put distance between you and your child. they were originally designed as a pigeon training technique "time out from positive reinforcement". They are never recommended for children under age 3 and in fact are not a great idea for any age. Letting a child have a quiet time/space is okay provided you are with them and it does not feel like an isolation method. For the screaming, the best approach is to ignore it and to model a quiet voice and after the episode is ended to discuss with the child why you don't want that noise. He will grow out of it. I went to this great parenting class at musikgarten and the teacher who is a clinical pyschologist reminded us that all these phases will pass. tthe most important thing is that we don't allow them to scar our child with unnecessarily harsh discipline techniques and we come through with full attachment. The books "unconditional parenting" by alfie cohen or "positive discipline" by jane nielsen are good. Good luck.

K.:

It sounds like your child has found out that screaming to the top of his lungs is the best way to "Get his way." Unfortunately, putting the finger in his mouth by either parent is torturous (in my opinion). Here's what I suggest:

Put up a chart of his favorite things such as toys, books, movie, blanket, pillow etc:

Explain to him when he is rude, loud or misbehaving that one item at a time will be taken from him. When you explain it, demonstrate it explicitly with one of his items. Also explain that if his behavior improves, then the item will be returned to him.

More importantly, in the beginning he will scream, but you and the husband must stay strong and firm and IGNORE him when he screams. Eventually, when he sees this does not affect you nor him or the sibling, he will stop.

In sum, make sure that no one in the house screams for any reason and he will model that attitude as well. If you and or the sibling scream at each other on occasion, then he will scream for he has had training from the two of you and if it is the father, he must be told the same thing as well. As a further incentive, print a few signs over the house that reads "NO SCREAMING PERMITTED in the HOME" just to remind everyone. It works in mine.

I don't know if this will help, but sometimes when my kids will scream for fun, I say, "Oh - Are you singing a song?". And then I start to sing the ABC's to them or something. Also if they blow raspberries, I change it to blowing kisses.

I would agree to try to ignore the behavior as much as possible, and/or try to redirect the behavior into something more appropriate.

Actually, it was my husband has taught me how to redirect actions. My son would be screaming for more juice (when he just had breakfast + a whole sippy cup of juice/water). He would just say to him, "Hey, where's your dump truck (or whatever toy)? I can't find it." And a lot of the time our son will go off looking for the toy, forgetting what he was begging for in the first place.

Good luck!

Good luck!! I think a lot of us have been where you are at :) Just figure out a way to tune it out, along with all the stares from people who do not have kids :) This phase will pass...and then it will be something else. My son is 22 months and it seems to be easing up. Hang in there.

My son is also 19 months old and has the same high pitched scream..It is a tantrum. Don't be physical in making him stop other than placing him in his room or somewhere safe for him to work out the tantrum. My daughter is almost 4 too and we did not have the same issue...Must be a gender thing maybe...LOL. Anyway, as he gets older he'll realize you won't give into it as long as you are consistant. They really don't know time-out at this age but placing them in a quiet area or walking away should help reduce the length of time it lasts. Best wishes

Ignore him and do not let it show that it bothers you. He knows he is getting a rise out of you and your attention when he does this. Completely ignore him until he stops screaming, then give him your attention. He will learn quickly!

My daughter did the same thing! I thought she was testing her lungs and seeing how her vocal chords work. In fact, she seemed to be pretty proud of herself.

Because you are right on the cusp of the mimicking stage, maybe this will work: I told my daughter that when she did this that she was being "loud" in a loud and happy voice. And then I would whisper and say, "this is quiet." And then I would say "loud!" and "quiet" or "whisper." And I would praise her when she whispered. This is great now because she knows the difference and I can ask her to be quiet or louder depending on the situation.

I really hope this helps!

After trying dozens of methods, the one that worked for me was saying "I can't understand you when you scream". I say it twice, and then just walk away. My daughter will usually tone it down and then come & tell me what she wants in a fairly normal tone. Ignoring it is another good method, though after a while, I learned to say "screaming will not make me do what you want" and then ignore him--no question, so debate--just flat out ignore him until his tone changes. Good luck, it does get better. It gets worse first, but then it gets alot better. :)

Ear plugs?

I can imagine how aggravating that is, but it seems like a strong reaction is what he's after. Have you tried putting him in another room for a time out (or you leave the room?) Say something like, "your screaming hurts my ears, so you will have to do it in your room for now."

I think for all tantrumming-type behaviors, the thing to remember is to be calm and to be consistent, and consequences should be logical. (like being left alone if you are screaming.)

I wouldn't think of the screaming as defiance or something that has to be punished - he's really young and barely verbal, so this is his coping mechanism for now. I think it's fine if he shrieks in time out as long as he stays in it (just close a door!)

has he got any shots or has anything changed in the house .. or has the screams been on going for a while..
My son does this.. but his is sensory issues...
Maybe you have some floressent lights ya know the ones we are all to be using now.. Some kids cant handle that..
Try to dim the lights when he is having a hard time and even try some Big Duplo blocks or a wooden puzzle.. calm things... That helps my son... WE do this before bed too.. IT helps calm the mind.. and gets him ready for bed time...
Quiet voices.. and no tv....
A book I love is the out of sync child has fun.. Has great activitys for kids with Sensory probs.. but good for all kids!!
Good luck. and keep your cool..
Another good tip.. My Son's Therapy girls told me.. WHEN Josh is out of sorts.. KEEP my face in a happy place.. Think of a quiet calm place.. And dont show reaction.. some kids are looking to push that button.. even at this young age!!!

think of all the germs you're putting in his mouth. i would stop that right away. sounds too scary and you could really hurt him. i would just ignore him or whisper when he does that screaming but i find that w/my 18 month old, a change of scenery or toy works wonders. or sometimes if just pounce on her with tons of loud kisses and tickles. good luck.