Screaming 1 Year Old

when my son screams (he is 14 months) I cover his mouth and tell him no in a stern voice so he gets the message.

Hi M.,
With both of my boys whenever they went throught that phase or whining or anything I always would tell them that I don't understand them when they are whining, screaming, crying, ect. Don't get mad just looked confused and asked him to try again in their regular voice. This might work better when he is a little older but you could try it again. Good luck.
Chris

Hello M., I believe you are mistaken when you say he doesn't do this for attention. He has found a way to embarrase you in public. This makes him feel powerful. All kids love attention, positive or negative, it doesn't matter to them. They are very self focused at this stage in their lives. Yelling or getting mad gives him more power over you. Turn your back on him until he stops, this will teach him that his method isn't working for him. Don't give him any attention while he is doing the bad behavior. Remember, there are no bad kids, just kids who do bad things. Good luck.

Well.....he had discovered that he can be vocal. My son went through the same thing. I used to scream also and he would look at me like I was crazy. It will stop soon. It's just a phase.

I wish I had some great piece of advice... but I don't. I just wanted to offer some moral support. My 14 month old boy does the same thing, and it just started hs ago! He never does it at home - only in public. I get several dirty looks and I think these people must have forgotten what it is like to have a little one. I am always trying things like pulling out graham crackers and puffs for him. Occasionally it looks but not always and certainly not for long periods of time. Just hang in there and remember you are not the only mom embarrassed, sweating, and frantically trying to control your new toddler! Hopefully they will outgrow it quickly.

Hello M.,

Our little guy turned 3 in September and he also would scream very loud at inappropriate times and at home too. I just shhhhhhhhhhh and patted lightly on his lips, told him other people didn't like to hear him scream. The really funny time was when he asked the lady in the store if she liked it and she said "yes, I love to hear you scream"! Unfortunately this lasted for quite a while and I just did what I could to limit it.

Good luck to you, L. S.

It might just be a stage, that will seem to last forever, but will pass. My kids all went through similar stages including finding their really high pitched scream that made my ears feel like they were going to bleed. Try not to make too big of a deal out of it. Keep with the gentle reminders of when the behavior is acceptable or not and leave it at that. Hopefully it won't last too much longer.

Good Luck!

He is finding his voice and experimenting with it. I had the same issues with my boys, too. I used to look at them and laugh telling them they were being silly. Eventually they outgrew it. There were also the times when they would scream because I wouldn't give them something they wanted. I just calmly kept telling them that it is unacceptable, yelling and screaming won't get them what they want. There were the few instances where I had to remove them from the situation immediately but those were few and far between. If anyone looks at you funny just tell them he's finding his voice.

You aren't alone - it'll get better. :o)

Your guy is just over 1 yr old so there really isn't much use "punishing" him. He will not understand most punishments that you would use on an older child... Even one a few months older...
He's figuring out what his voice can do and probibly enjoys the feeling of vibration he gets from the scream... Is it a continuous scream or just a burst of scream then stopping for a second or so? The continuous scream does need to be addressed... For your sanity's sake...

Is he empathetic? If so you can point out a baby and tell him its scaring the baby/ doggy/ kitty/ mommy/ flowers etc... If he does not know about empathy yet... He won't care.

I usually whisper to my kids when they are loud... Why? they have to be quiet to hear what I'm saying... Start out the sentance with some random word like Ice cream.... lol Ears perk up then...

If he's screaming you can do 2 things... Ignore it or cover your ears and say ouch. Let him know it hurts your ears... He will grow out of it eventually unless you encourage it that is.

Play the listen game... Get real quiet and whisper What do you hear while looking around... Ask them questions like do you hear a mouse? A bird? a caterpillar? music? etc... Variety is the spice of distraction... And consistency is a necessity of discipline. Find what works for your child and what the motivation is BEFORE you decide on distraction or discipline.

Good luck...

I have the best luck when I find a punishment and stay with it. It may not work right away and then people give up and say that it does not work. Twelve months is tough though. They are so much smarter then we give them credit for. I would try the whisper thing that another had suggested, but I would let him know you will not play or continue with the activity until he stops and walk away. Then when he wants your attention I would let him know that you will not play if he screams. Some days I laugh to myself because any disipline can go on all day and be very tiring. It is their way of trying to control their enviroment and we have the joy of being part of it. I am always amazed at their determination, if I had that energy I would be supermom. Having five children I have learned that all of them are different and I am having to find different ways to disipline each of them. So all I can offer is my experience, enjoy them when they are good and love them when they are not. And do not feel guilty for taking a nap with your little one. It will help you deal better later with him. Good luck and God Bless, this to will pass and then you will be giving some else advice on the same topic.

I just wanted to thank you for asking this question. My son just started doing this a week or two ago and he is 11 months. He screams in the car and in restaurants and sometimes the high chair (all for no apparent reason). All I have learned thus far is don't get mad and make a big deal or they keep doing it for attention. What has worked for me is to ignore him. Sometimes he keeps on, but eventually he stops. I hope ignoring it will help it end quicker and it seems to be working. But I look forward to all the answers here about it, so thanks! And good luck!

Can you come up with other consequences for his action? IE taking away a priviledge - tv show, toy, etc. when he behaves that way? There must be a consequence for all bad behavior or we will do whatever we want to in life and people won't like us very much. Then there is the whole eternity issue to deal with. :) Good luck!

S.

Scream back. Seriously - scream BACK! This worked with both of my kids who are almost 5 (boy) and 2 1/2 (girl). When they screamed at the top of their lungs - generally for attention - I immediately stopped what I was doing and just stood in the middle of the room and screamed at the top of MY lungs. With both of them, they immediately stopped screaming and just stared at me like I was crazy (which, I probably was...LOL!) At first, as soon as I finished screaming and they were finished being startled, they both giggled and started screaming again. Of course, I overpowered their screams with my own and again, they stopped and were startled. After the second time, I got down to their level and said something to the effect of, "did that scare/upset you?" (something like that - I can't remember exactly what it was at the moment) to which they both, of course, replied "yes." Then I explained to them that it "scared/upset" mom too, when they screamed and that it's not a "good feeling." They both seemed to understand this, and neither of them ever did it again. Now, whenever they start getting rambunctious (as all kids will do), I use the "inside/outside voice" talk and they understand perfectly well. If that doesn't work, I resort to the "ignore" method and tell them that until they can communicate to me what they want, the way they should, then I won't listen and I WALK AWAY. My kids seem to understand this...although some of my friends consider me very fortunate that this works, as it obviously won't work with all children. You'll need to figure out what works best for you and what your son responds to best. Obviously, I wouldn't/didn't use the "scream back" method in public (unless you have an incredible sense of humor and very thick skin...LOL!) In those VERY few instances, I always did the "run" method, in which I would RUN for cover from public scrutiny and embarrassment. HA HA! I would just "leave" the public place and take them to the parking lot or car and just tell them that until they could use their "inside voice" and behave like a "good little boy (or girl)" that we wouldn't be able to go back "inside" and would have to go home instead of "finishing our meal," "shopping," etc. - whatever it was we were doing. This generally worked for me too, and I've never really had any huge problems with this. My biggest problem now is, my 4 1/2 year old likes to "hide" on me in the 2 seconds I turn my back to grab something off the rack or shelf of the store. He loves sitting in the middle of clothes racks, giggling, and saying "Mom, I'm hiding. Can you see me?" (which I always can, of course - but I don't let him know that!) We're working on battling this right now, and I'm trying various methods to curb this new-found behavior which he finds soooo amusing! Good luck, and let us know what works for you and your son. If nothing else, take solace in knowing that he will, indeed, outgrow it as soon as he become bored with it, or/and realizes he gets no reaction from you. Take care!

I curbed this by calling it an "inside voice" and an "outside voice". I would say use your inside voice and when outside we would chime in and all use our outside voices outside and that was when it was funny and when we would encourage it. I never did a time out for this but I would take you outside and use my outside voice as an example and then inside for w/ an inside voice if I could not make it stop- even if that was during a restaruant experience. As my kids got bigger I threatened to use my "outside voice" or my "mad voice" I would say I have already asked you now you need to get that done so I don't have to use my mad voice.....yeah no one ever wants to hear my "mad voice"!

Welcome to one of the stages kids go through. He has just found his voice/hearing and is going to experiment at all sorts of times. I found when my daughter could hear an echo she would do it more often. If you are in a restaurant, you could tell him it isn't acceptable. If he keeps it up, then take him to the restroom. He will quickly learn that he can't do it there. Also is he screaming non-stop for five minutes or is it just on and off. Most people in family restaurants know what it is like to go through this stage, and they just smile remembering their times.

Enjoy every stage as they grow up too quickly. I often wish that my 5 year old was back there at times.

K.

LOL...sorry but I remember my son doing this. He is now 17 months and still occasionally does it to make people look at him. He outgrew it after awhile. I just ignored it, really you can't get mad at a little baby. They don't understand using an "inside voice". He will get over it, he is just learning what he can do! :)

YOUR NOT ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's the stage. Yours is starting earlier than others. When anyone would tell me this about my almost two year old I wouldn't want to believe it but after talking to so many mommies its so true. Unfortunely, there's not much you can do . My husband and I avoided restaurants for about a month and we got take out b\c of this. I do use the naughty spot, whatever it may be in your house. Mine is the naughty hallway. In the meantime try to......DISTRACT, DISTRACT, DISTRACT@!!!!!!!!!

Hope he gets sick and loses his voice? LOL. Sorry, this made be think of when my daughter did this. The thing that solved it for me was that she got sick and had a sore throat and she couldn't shriek. Fortunately, after she got better, she did not resume this annoying habit. Good luck..

My daughter used to do this - I've found that the best reaction is no reaction at all. If you ignore this behavior, he'll likely stop doing it (this worked for me, at least). I think he's probably just testing out the waters and finding his voice and wants to see how you'll react to it. When you get upset and make a big deal out of it, he probably enjoys the attention it causes. You may have to suffer through an embarassing meal or two until he's through this phase but I've found that not reacting to things like this works best to get them past the phase :)

Walk away. Put him in a time out designated area. Let him know that if he wants something he'll have to ask in a normal voice.
Put him in his room and close the door when he starts. If you're out at the store or a restaurant, stop, take your cart to customer service and explain you'll continue when he stops, but that you're taking him outside. Same with at a restaurant. Take him outside. But sometimes a quick and light swat will take him by surprise and interrupt his repertoire. And it might not feel very good to him either.

Just whisper to your child 'we use quiet voices' and laugh quietly. Don't get mad or go the 'no' route- they will know that is a button to push to get your attention!

What about teaching your son to use a gentle, quiet voice...

Like for example.. teaching them to say SHHH instead. I don't know how it would work but if you're consistent it might work..

We've tried this with our son who is 18 months and from when he was young we taught him gentle touch with the dogs.. so instead of no hitting.. we'd say... gentle touch and gently touch the dog and show him how to do that. Yesterday in excitement he slapped my husband in the face during play and we again showed him gentle touch and showed him how to touch my husband in that way.

It's a phase that a lot of babies/toddlers go through. They're just realizing the potential of their vocal cords. So yes it is a phase that will pass. As hard as it is, the less of a big deal you make of it, the quicker he'll get over it. You could try whispering to him when he's doing it to see if he'll quiet his voice to listen to you speaking in a soft tone.