Dear C.,
So many different things change in high school and not all of them are bad. My son is 14 and a freshman this year and he's like your daughter, he doesn't hang out with kids that do things he's uncomfortable with or knows could lead to trouble. And it's paid off for him. One day last summer, he and I went on a nice walk and came back to find the police and a whole group of kids from his 8th grade class in front of our house. I was like, "What the HECK is going on?" The whole group of them, girls included, had been going around messing with people's cars and hung bras and panties on police cars then headed to my house to see if my son wanted to "hang out" with them. Thankfully we weren't home, but this is where the cops caught up with them. He's still friendly with these kids at school, he's known them since kindergarten, but he declines invitations to "hang out" with them.
Being part of that crowd can result in the police calling your parents and he wants no part of that.
One good thing about high school is that there are people of all ages to get to know. My son has made many friends with kids that came from other schools and kids in upper grades. I think part of being a freshman is just getting acclimated to how things are different than middle school in the first place. I really think your daughter will hit her stride as she becomes more accustomed to things. I would just reassure her that the great thing about life is that friends come in many forms and varying degrees, and you can never have too many of them. Just because someone has "friends already", doesn't mean there is no room for one more. Some girls can be very clique-ish, but they aren't all that way. And there is nothing at all wrong with having boys who are friends. I wouldn't try to push her about it but be sure to talk to her about who she has in her classes, who she sits by, things like that.
My parents moved me away from all my friends the summer before my freshman year in high school. We moved to a completely unfamiliar place and I didn't know a single person. I was gangly and awkward, the "new girl" with a weird name, none of the "styles" were what I was used to. In some of my classes, we were seated alphabetically so there I was, shaking like a leaf, sitting next to the most popular seniors in high school. You know what? They were really nice to me, which almost made it worse. The first few weeks were a complete blur. I just remember thinking over and over to myself, "Whatever you do, don't get nervous and throw up".
I eventually settled in and ended up being friendly with everyone. I made some very long, lasting and enduring friendships, but even the kids I wouldn't have "hung out" with were part of my experience. Some of them I wasn't going to sneak cigarettes with and things like that, but if we had projects together in class, I accepted them and they accepted me. I didn't have my "best" high school girlfriend until my sophomore year and we were inseparable after that. We both had other friends, got boyfriends, but we really were like sisters.
Your daughter will find her way. Sometimes you just have to jump in and swim. I think she will initiate friendships and relationships as she gets a little more comfortable with high school.
I wish her the best!