Your Last Name Different than Your Child's

I wasn't married to my youngest daughters father. When she was born I gave her her fathers name even though we weren't together any more. I want her to have her heritage. No one has ever thought that she isn't my daughter. I remarried and my sons name is different than mine and there was never a problem. I hope this helps.

M.

My last name is different than the kids . . . and really it's not that big of a deal. Most often I am call __________'s mom. Not by my name at all. Sometimes I am called Mrs. _____, when I am not a Mrs. and that's not my last name. I don't make a deal about it at all. I respond as if that's my name. I know what they mean. Nobody at the school has asked me to prove they are mine. We live in a world where kids are being raised by relatives, single parents, adoptive parents, all kinds of situations. I wouldn't sweat the small stuff.

We did a real twist-- I kept my maiden name (went back to that after 1st marriage ended), then we gave our son my last name. My husband doesn't mind (he actually considered changing to my last name too, but it's too complicated with the paperwork).
No one really questions either of us.

When I got married I liked my last name better than hubbies, plus I had it for a long time. So in the end I hyphenated. But my son has his last name only. I didn't want to complicate it for my son and I don't need a name to define that this is my child. I never needed proof of me being his mother only when we went ot get his passprt and both of us had to go to the Passport office with him. Bottom line you'll never really have an issue. The only thing is people will assume you have your hubby's last name and call you Mrs. Smith instaed of Ms. Jones. Just go with the flow unless you feel strongly to correct them. As a PS even though my name is hyphenated and people knw it and read it they will just call me the last name listed.

Hi M.,
I got married to my husband in Finland (we were leaving there at the time). I'm French and he is Spanish. I kept my maiden name hyphenated with that of my husband. Rules are different in each country.
Our children were both born here. In their birth certificate and US passports, they have my husband name only. In their Spanish papers, they have my husband name hyphenated with my name (so, I am XX-ZZ and they are ZZ-XX) and no middle names.
No-one ever asked me any question, neither regarding if we were married or not or regarding the fact that I am their mom.

I guess years ago, people might have questionned it because the norm was to have the husband/father's name. But now, many women choose to keep their maiden name for business reasons or have different names because of divorce... It's not uncommon anymore, either hyphenated or not. So, people are getting used to it and don't ask.

I kept my name when I got married and our kids have my husband's last name. My last name is WAY too complicated to hyphenate with my husband's, and I honestly didn't want my kids to have to deal with that. No one has ever questioned me about it at the doctor's office or day care. My oldest will be in Kindergarten next year and there have been no questions with the paperwork registering her, my name versus hers, etc. I did worry about people not thinking I'm the mother, but I am way past that... I made the decision to keep my name because it felt like the right thing to do for me, and I have never regretted it, though my husband's last name is MUCH easier to say and spell than mine!! It's such a personal decision, I always felt like I had my own name before I met my husband, why change it because we're married? I hope this helps!

i see this happen in school a lot. i see paperwork with the parents name and then the child.. and wonder is that the mother. or someome asks me to call say like sara smith.. i call them and they say they are wondering about alan their son... and i am like who.. well because the son has a different name.. i think the child should have the fathers last name ... the mother should have her name hypenated. like sara smith-parsons and the kid should be james parsons its easier that way...

I wasn't married to my son's father, but he has his last name (then I mixed it up more by getting married...LOL). Throughout school I never really had any problems...in this day and age alot of kids have different names than their parents. I was called by my son's last name often, but I knew who they meant, it bugged my son some and he would correct them.

To me a name is a name, it doesn't define who I am, so it wasn't that important to me to keep my maiden name.

D.

I have my name, my husband has his, and our daughter's is unfortunately hyphenated. It should be my last name. Iit is certain who the mother is the father is in reality w/o a DNA test unknown to the world. Yes, it is her father and we know this but the logic to have his last name is missing. The father is a mystery the mother is a known entity. I was promised the kids would have my last name when we married then he got cold feet and we have this hideous hyphenated child name. I will not trade my name for his nor have a child with his alone. No one has ever questioned the three different names. I do think the hyphenated for the child makes far greater sense than taking the father's name, with that system there is no connection to the mother at all. With two different parent names and a hyphenated child name there is equal connection to both parents.

I chose to keep my maiden name. The children have my husband's last name. No one ever assumed I was not their mother, but people often assume that I am not married to their father because I don't share their last name, which can get kind of annoying, especially when they can see my wedding ring on my finger. There is nothing wrong with wanting to keep your maiden name, and when your kids ask you why your last name is different you can say what I said to my kids "You have your dad's last name, and I have MY dad's ."

we made the decision that if it was a girl, it would have my last name (because it was bound to change anyway in light of marriage in the future) but if it was a boy it would have his last name...to be traditional and carry on the name.

Naw... No one's going to question you. When you enroll your child in school there might be curiosity, but no one will ask you or ask for proof. Being a teacher, I think nothing of it when a parent has a different last name than their child. It's completely unimportant to me unless there is an issue besides the name. My name is slightly different than my daughter's. I'm hyphenated - my maiden name first, then my husband's name. Our daughter only has my husband's name.

I kept my maiden name. For my son, there was a very real possibility that he would be the only grandson on his dad's side, so we gave him my husband's last name. I am now pregnant with a daughter, and there was a part of me that was semi-interested in having her have my last name. But it doesn't really flow with the other names we picked out for her, so she will also have my husband's last name. Plus, we figured that it might end up being too confusing if the kids had different names.

My son and I are now just starting a Mommy & Me preschool, and I can tell that there is a little bit of confusion on the teacher's part. I assume, however, that she's probably mostly curious what the reason is. He looks so much like me that no one would question that I was his mother. :) But I figure that, with blended families plus more and more women keeping their maiden names, children with different last names than their mothers are becoming more common. I'm not worried about it.

Juat last week my neighbor had her little guy and since she hyphenates her name then the hopsital hyphenated the babies name.
Schools will ask for the birth cert when they start. Tha will have both your and your hubby's name on it and they should have you fll out paperwork that states your name is different.

one thing to think about is will it be confusing as the kid gets older. i know a few people that HATE that they have hyphenated names. They wish they only has the one name, but the mom kept the maiden name and hypenated the kids names. So you have to think ahead some as well.

More people think I am my stepson's mom because we have the same last name, and because of how we are together. But even as the stepmom, I have NEVER shown anything ANYWHERE. I can get info from the doctor's no problem, take him for shots call the school whatever. Because, if they see you with the child at these places, they will assume you are the mom, and you have a right.

I know my stepson has asked why he is the only one of his mom's kids with a different last name. And my husband made sure that his ex wife DIDN"T change the last name to hers at all. So you could end up with the child questioning their name instead of others questioning you about the name.

I have 5 kids and one on the way I have been married for 7 years and still carry only my maiden name and all my kids have my husbands last name. I have never been questioned or asked for proof by school, day care, doctors office. Think about there are a lo of single mom's who the babies have the fathers name and I am sure it the same situation they don't ask for proof. It's so common these days for kids to have different last names from the parents. People have asked if I was married because we do have last names but never asked for proof not even when we adopted our 2 kids from CPS foster care system did they asked us for a marriage licenses. So you will be perfectly fine if that floats your boat don't worry about others just be happy with your name. Hope this helps you a little with your question.

I have a little bit of a different situation - when my ex and I divorced I went back to my maiden name and my daughter kept his name. That was 5 years ago (she's 7 now). I have never had ANYONE question me being her mother. Ever. I was a little worried about that, I guess at first. But honestly it has never ever came up. Not at school, Dr's appts, nothing. Sometimes I have thought about putting my last name before her dads last name (like her having 2 middle names) - but, then I think eventually I will probably (hopefully, lol) get married again. And then what. She would have my maiden name and then I'd have a different name. So, I don't know. But nope, I have not ever had any issues having a different name than my daughter. :-)