When Is Enough, Enough - Brooklyn,NY

Hi K.,

This sounds really frustrating. I know it must be so stressful to not have control over the things your son is being exposed to. Does your husband seem to love your son? Is he trying to get back at you with these things, or is he just truly irresponsible? If he cares for your son maybe he would be willing to meet with a mediator of some sort, a psychologist would be ideal. Maybe he would be willing if you didn't choose the person, but gave him a list of some people and let him make the first contact and then go in together. It sounds like conversations between you and your husband won't work very well, but maybe it would help to have an impartial person mediating the discussion and helping your husband to keep your son's best interests in mind.

Good luck,

K.

I believe the only people who can view pictures of your son are ONLY friends that your x is friends with. So unless one of those people are a threat you should be fine.

There was just an article in the NY Times about children's pics on Facebook this past weekend. Did you see it? I think it said that predators do not find children on Facebook, but you should read it for yourself.

The only solution to this common problem: Don't have kids with a degenerate. Once you do, you are stuck with him for life.

Hi K.,

This is so hard! If you really don't think your ex husband would react well to your attempts to seriously discuss, and he would not agree to see some sort of specialist who deals with co-parenting afer divorce, I would suggest you talk to a therapist on your own, perhaps a psychiatric social worker. Such a person could help you decide when some sort of intervention is required. That person could also give you a clearer picture of what to expect if you get the courts involved.

It's hard to take the step of getting the courts involved, but if your child is in emotional danger and your ex husband is unwilling to discuss or compromise.. well, keep the phrase "in the best interest of the child" as your guiding principle. I would also suggest that you think about ways to build trust and to create open lines of communication with your son, so that he will come to you if/when something is really off (a therapist could guide you with this too). This does not mean grilling him, and it does not mean talking negatively about the dad, that will backfire, your son is likely afraid to betray his father as it is.

I wish you the best!

C.

Wow i so know how you feel. i have no advice really! just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. i feel like this all the time with my ex because his dumb mother is a wacko and he is a mamas suck a** so he doesnt see how insane she is at times. I am so sorry you are going through all this. as far as the facebook stuff, do a google search for one of the horrible online incidents that have happened to young children on facebook or myspace and open his eyes with it. Get the real details of it and let him read it all and maybe he will smarten up but i doubt it. some men are just plain ignorant. Sorry. But like i said i just wanted you to know you werent alone.