Trouble at the Bus Stop

Most of the time I try and stay out of my kids business because I find it just makes it worse. The kids start to tease my kid about how mommy has to be with them all the time and how he can't feind for himself. If this kid is only 7 and you know the parents though I would probably tell the kids mom so she could keep an eye on him and perhaps she should walk her son to the bus stop. A lot of times it's good to stop something before it gets a lot worse. Every neighborhood has bullies, but a neighborhood should be full of people watching out for each other. Good luck

My mom is a bus driver, this is what she said to do, first call the school. If possible get the kids names, so they can be met when they get off the bus, second call the bus barn(school transportation)they will tell the bus driver unless you want to do that yourself, the bus driver has the right to remove the kids from the route. They can also give them "tickets" and they will send a needs signed note home to the parents. The parents are finacially responsible for "any" damage their kids do, including stealing.

You did the right thing, and I would talk to the friend's mother about it as well. The older kids may shun your son and his friend, but they also will know that he's not a kid to be messed with. I'd tell the friend's mom that you just wanted her to be aware of what was going on. As an adult, it's my job to look out for those younger and weaker. As a parent, it's my job to look out for my son. In both roles, the bullies need to be stopped and the younger kids need to be protected, and the social side will work it's way out. The friend may be embarrassed about it happening. And if the "sharing" is truly an agreement between them, the kids will know to handle it better.

I personally would just tell the boys mom and let her handle what is goin on at the bus stop. I am sure she would like to be informed of what is happening to her son.

gotta echo, I would tell the mom of the boy your son is friends with at the very least. even if he calls it sharing, odds are his mom has no idea she is packing for the neighborhood and not her child. the social stuff will work its way out, use this as a chance to let your son know that standing up for himself and for others who are being taken advantage of is the right thing to do that he is so important to you that you would fight off anyone doing harm to him in any way. ask him to tell you how he feels about what is going on and it can be a great growing experience for him and a great way for the 2 of you to connect more. In no way do I think you overstepped. I say bravo! and I sure hope when my dd is at school age if she has to ride the bus that her friends have moms as aware and caring as you are, and I hope I am that mom like you have been, keep up the good work

I realize you feel like overstepped, but I think you should talk to the mom. If that child is being a bully maybe alert the school to his bus stop behavior, because he is a bully and it will continue if it is not stopped. We as parents needt to step up and stop the bully behavior. What about letting the other parents at the bus stop form a stop bully team and talk to the other kids. Those kids are afraid to stand up to the bully. They need to let the bully know it is not ok to be acting this way. There is power in numbers. Maybe you get other kids to agree not to play with him until he stops. But I think you should definitely let the parents know. I have a 8 and 5 yr old and I would want to know. Good Luck!
I also meant to say that by contacting the school you are lettting them know about this bully with a heads up. If he is a bully at home, he is a bully at school. Then the teachers can keep a eye out for bully behavior and work with the parents to stop it. Bully Behavior has to stop!!!!

YOu did the right thing. Bystanders of bullying (people who witness but do nothing) are right up there with the bullies themselves. Trust your instinct to be the resident mom when needed--just do it kindly.

These older kids are bullying the younger ones. You were right to step in, especially since the younger kids (your son and his friend) were intimidated into giving up their lunch (face it, what kid willingly gives up the best parts of his food without intimidation).
I would talk to the other mom. She likely has no idea what is going on and thinks her son is geting all the food she sends. She may even by wondering why he comes home hungry (ok I'm assuming that he is, but it makes sense). If it were me and my son, I'd want someone to let me know. That's the only way I could take steps to solve the problem.

Next, talk to the bus driver and the school. They also need to know what's going on, since it's on their "watch". And the school can take steps to deal with these older kids and inform their parents of what is going on so that it can be corrected. If I recall (from when I was a teacher) there are rules about taking the bus and waiting at the stop. If these kids are bullying younger kids in any way (including taking lunches), they can loose bus privelidges, and face other disciplinary action.

No one will know what is going on until someone speaks up. It sounds obvious that that don't know whats going on. And, if it is just a misunderstanding, talking to the other kid's mom can easily clear it up.

This just happened today? The boys all might talk to him tomorrow. You stopped a bully game, and they could well have been embarrassed. If you have kids like that at the bus stop, your boy will need to learn (eventually) how to speak up for himself, too. But if it had been my son, I would have done the same thing. You might want to ask your son how he felt about the incident.

YOU DID THE RIGHT THING :D I wish more parents would step in when they see things that shouldn't happen. I always appreciate it when moms say things to my kids, because it usually reinforces what I've been trying to teach them!

The picked-on boy probably didn't talk to him because he didn't know if the bullies were going to retaliate against him. They will be friends again, I'm pretty sure.

Keep going to the bus stop, and if you see it happen again, for SURE talk to the kids mothers (but be careful, Mom's usually stick up for their own kids and don't want to believe that they did anything inappropriate). I WOULD DEFINATELY WANT TO KNOW IF MY SON WAS BEHAVING THAT WAY A.S.A.P!!!!

On the rare occasion when other parents tell my kids not to do something that I feel is fine, I tell my kids they should wait and do it later when other people aren't uncomfortable with it. They should respect the grownups where every they are. (Of course I also teach them about things that are appropriate when it comes to their own body). When it comes to socially accepted behavior, KEEP ON TEACHING WHOEVER IS AROUND YOU!!!

Yes, you did the right thing.

Yes, tell the boy's mom. (If you have a lengthy conversation with the Mom, suggest karate, which builds tons of self-confidence, and the kid will learn to stand up to the difficult children.)

Sometimes kids are just brats because their parents fail to teach them compassion, self-control, and kindness. Recently, a 13-yr-old girl here was making fun of a kid whose parents had separated, like this "Ha Ha, your Dad doesn't even live in your house anymore!" I was stunned. I pulled her aside, told her as calmly as I could (I was outraged!) how incredibly WRONG it was to EVER speak to a person like that; how difficult it was to be a child of divorce; how she broke that little girl's heart with her cruelty.

The teen called up my daughter and bitched about me. (When I grew up, no one would ever have had the balls to talk back to an adult, or call the daughter and complain about the parent. What has happened to our families?!) Then the teen harassed my kids for several months.

I would do it again tomorrow. Next time, I'll tell the teen's parents the vile thing she said to the little girl.

Yes, talk to the friends mother and the mother's of the boys who took the lunch items. Bullying is not okay in any form and that is what these boys are being is bullies. If all the mom's step in maybe it will stop.

Good Luck

Hi S. - I cant believe the kids were so brazen as to do it in front of an adult! I think you were right to say something and it didnt sound like you said anything terrible. Keep tabs with your son about the older boys and their behavior. Maybe having the other boy over for a playdate after school will encourage their friendship.

I would first talk to the friends mother, and then maybe both of you could talk to the bullies mother(s). If they aren't going to talk to your son now, it won't make it worse. I like what everyone else said too. If it doesn't seem to help, then I would do what the lady recommended about getting the school and bus people involved. Best wishes!