"Mean" Kid on Dd's Bus...what Do I Do?

report report report. the bus driver cannot drive the bus as well as monitor the situation so the school has to step in. talk to the principal today.
khairete
S.

I would privately ask the bus driver to ask that kid to sit toward the front of the bus (i.e.. first seat) so he can keep an eye on him.

Put a note in writing and keep a copy of it. Be nice, but say:

"Due to continued problems on the bus, I would like to request that _______be assigned a seat at the front of the bus where he will not bother other kids."

Report it to the school. We had a similar issue with my youngest son of a boy spitting on him on the bus. I have to say it only happened ONCE cause I called the school as soon as he got off the bus and told me. I also fired off an email to his teacher since low and behold the boy was in my son's class. The principal was great and said she would meet the bus first thing in the morning and have both boys in her office as soon as they stepped off the bus. The teacher replied to my email that she was already having issues with that boy and was due to have a conference with his parents soon.
From then on the boy was held back til all the other kids were on the bus. He was then escorted by either the teacher or principal to and from the bus. He was made to sit right behind the bus driver. My son never had another problem with that boy.

At our elementary school (I've subbed over 10 yrs), the K students sit in the front of the bus closest to the driver.

If there is an issue, it is addressed by the driver. My suggestion would be to communicate with the driver and make sure he knows what is going on. Your daughter might believe he knows but he is driving the bus, therefore he can't catch everything. Communicate!!

If children regularly disregard the bus rules, they lose the privilege to ride the bus in our district.

Don't be confrontational.... just chat a little at the bus stop OR go to the school while the buses are lined up and ready to go before children get on the bus. Sometimes when a child who is misbehaving sees parental involvement, they shape up because they don't know if you are talking about them or not. If you know the boy, make eye contact with him... don't call him out, let your eyes do the talking.

You should be doing more here. Forget talking to the bus driver. You need to call your principal immediately and tell him about the unnacceptable behavior going on. Make a huge deal about this because it really is serious IMO. Make sure that your principal disciplines this child to the full extent. Pull up your disctrict's policy on bullying and also bus behavior. Obviously this kid is in violation of both. Furthermore-the fact that he is using body fluids makes it a H health concern for the district. If it were me I would drill this point in and mention you may have to call the health department if it doesn't stop.

Call the principal, and the bus company. You have to go over the driver's head on this one because unless there is an adult chaperone riding on the bus, that punky kid knows there's not a damn thing the driver can do but yell at him.

Around here, our bus company has cameras on the busses to document behavior issues. Then it can be shown to the offender's parents. For a first time offense it is usually a warning, the second offense they get kicked off and cannot ride the bus anymore.

This kid is a bully, and knows he has power. Take that away by reporting him now!

The bus driver is responsible for the lives of an entire busload of kids. The behaviors you describe are annoying and must be dealt with but not by the driver, who must keep eyes on the road, hands on the wheel and mind on the job. Please do not heap this on the driver!

Go directly to the principal's office on this one. Say that you know it's not possible for a driver to handle this because he has a bigger job but you do expect the school to handle it. The school should talk to the boy and/or his parents. If the behavior continues, return to the school and say it has not intervened enough and you expect feedback, by that day's end, telling you what the school did, who was called, etc. Be businesslike and efficient, not emotional, and don't lay blame or complain about the kid's parents whom you don't know, or blame the driver. Principals respond better to brisk, businesslike, direct approaches rather than emotion, much of the time. Especially as you have a K student, the office may think she's overreacting or you are overreacting. I would go see the principal or designated person in the office but take the 3rd grade friend's mom along with you so they know it is not just a case of "a new-to-school mom who's overly nervous and overly protective."

Absolutely contact the school! Talk to the principal or vice about what is happening. They will be able to either handle it or tell you who you need to contact.

What this boy is doing is physical and would be considered bullying. The spit and boogers is serious business in itself.

Advocate for you daughter. Don't leave it to a 3rd grader to do. But, at least there is an older witness to this. Ugh. Your poor daughter. What an introduction to school. (My daughter just started K this year, too. I feel your pain!)

The little twerp needs some discipline and/or a new way to get to school. It should become his parents' problem, and not your daughter's. Best of luck!

Bus drivers generally have too much going on and too many kids to deal with. I would contact the school or school district and ask them who you should contact about this. Our district employs someone full time to work solely on bus disciplinary and behavorial issues. When my son had an issue in 6th grade this person had a handle on it the same day or the day after I called. Also, when my son was actually injured on the bus as a kindergartner by another kindgartner the kindergarten teacher wanted to know about it. Your daughter's teacher may be another resource. Unfortunately, I have found most bus drivers aren't in a position to handle the variety of behavorial and disciplinary issues that can take place on the bus so I do recommend you go beyond the driver. I can't blame them though--they have a very difficult job for low pay and a huge responsibility. Good luck.

talk to the bus driver yourself. He really can't do much but talk to the parents and school. If the parents are involved and good that should stop it. if not I'd suggest them sitting in the 1st asile behind the driver. I would assume most kids are good when that close to the driver

Here, the K kids sit in the front of the bus.
Tell your daughter to change seats, if they are assigned, request a change.
Then let her 3rd grade friend deal however SHE chooses.
Let the principal know your daughter requested a seat change due to spit/snot shenanigans on Bus XYZ.
Betcha the principal boards the bus, revues the rules, and it will be better for all involved.
IMO, a K shouldn't be sitting with 3rd graders.
Good luck!

omg that's disgusting!!

You need to call the school and speak to someone about that. That sort of behavior towards a new kindergartner is just unacceptable.

Speak with the bus driver and the Principal.
I also would include a dated letter to the bus driver to keep for his records.. Cc'd to the principal.

For sure report it to the principal. The bus driver can't do much as s/he needs to keep his/her eyes on the road, and there are usually no other adults on the bus.
That boy will knock it off once he starts suffering the consequences for his behavior. At our school it was spending recess in the office, and that was almost always VERY effective!
ETA: contrary to the answer below our school ABSOLUTELY dealt with behavior/discipline issues on the bus, even though the bus company was a private party (not part of the school district) It was not uncommon to see our principal show up randomly on different buses just to check in on things, especially on buses that had more reported problems than others.

I would speak to the driver. If the situation doesn't resolve (the driver could move the problem child to the front seat, away from other kids) then you can contact the depot. Enough reports can get the kid removed from the bus, but I will say that it's hard to do. There were some really nasty girls on my bus in high school that never did get kicked off but were so bad people got off and walked the half mile home to not have to ride the circle around with them (long country road). I say contact the depot because often the school considers busing issues the depot's problem, although you could also get the name of this child and contact the school. Likely wouldn't hurt.

Gross.
I'm not sure what the protocols are with the bus driver's disciplining kids or contacting the parents. Do you know who the child's parents are? If not, a friendly (nice, sympathetic, just trying to help and avoid anything mean/nasty) conversation with the director of the transportation department might be helpful...
"Mr. X, I really am not trying to stir anything up, and I don't want to get him in trouble, but I don't have any way to contact his parents directly. Is there a chance you could mention to them that he is trying to spit on and is wiping spit on the girls on the bus? I don't want him in trouble, we just want him to stop doing that. It's gross."

I'd bet the kid does similar behavior in the classroom and on the playground when he thinks no one is watching. And a nice word or two reinforcing it is rude/inappropriate from the teacher can't hurt. A concerned conversation with his teacher at school (if you know who she is) might be a way to reinforce without making your girls out to be "tattle tales".

I don't know. It would be simple if you could just talk to the parents yourself...but with so many "middlemen" in between, it just makes it more complicated than it seems it ought to be. :(

Ok, I will edit this to add at the school I work at.

When there are problems on the bus, usually the only way the principal here will do anything about them (discipline-wise) is if the bus driver brings them in to the office with a referral... that said. I would talk to the bus driver about switching seats, if that doesn't work, then go above the driver to his supervisor. Unfortunately, this is a transportation issue, and transportation has to handle it.

In my controversial opinion, I absolutely do not believe that ignoring bullies works.

I think you should

a) tell her to tell the boy to leave her alone in a very firm voice.
b) tell her to sit in the front (where we live kindergarteners have to)
c) tell the bus driver what's going on
d) find out the name of this kid and speak to his parents
e) tell the principal of your school.

Don't take this s*** lightly. How dare he. Also where we are bullies are dealt with strictly and will lose bus riding privileges.

Same kind of thing happened with my daughter last year when she was in Kindergarten....we went straight to the principal...the children were addressed...the issues still didnt stop....the children's parents were called...that was the end of the school year last year....Im hoping this year things will be different...I would definitely take it to the principal...my daughters principal said she would ride the bus with my daughter if she needed to...kids can be so cruel...especially to the younger ones....

I always direct bus issues to the principal of our school. Our buses have continuous video monitoring - pictures AND sound! The principal or assistant principal can call up the video and look at it themselves. Very handy in he said/she said situations.

I also might talk to the teacher and let her know what's going on. You can talk to the bus driver too, but he/she can't do anything discipline-wise to the child that's bothering your kid. Leave that to the school.

Good luck!

Call the school and talk to the bus monitor.

For now, I would instruct my DD to sit at the very front of the bus, near the other kindergarten kids. Right now, if she is sitting with her 3rd grade friend, she's probably in an area of the bus with a bunch of older kids. The bus driver isn't nearly as likely to notice behaviors in the middle to back of the bus, and some kids are really brazen about rotten behavior when they know no adult is there to witness it. It's nice that she has a 3rd grade friend at her bus stop, but I would gently tell her she can be "bus stop and neighbor friends" with her 3rd grade friend, but to try to avoid sitting in the area the older kids are clustered around. Make the bus ride time a time to sit with and chat with the kids in her own grade. Sadly, it is too tempting for some older kids with bullying tendencies to pick on younger kids. You may succeed in getting the spitting and nose wipe smearing to stop by talking to the school authorities, but sadly, you can't stop all mean and rude behaviors. Last year on my DD's bus, the 4th and 5th grade boys were swearing at and teaching the K students to swear. My DD stuck up for the younger kids and became picked on herself, so she quit the bus and now happily walks or bikes to school with me. I thought about reporting the behaviors, but based on what my DD told me, her bus driver frequently just got after all of the older kids if any trouble happened, and she got so annoyed with it, it wasn't worth it. If sitting up front by the other K students doesn't work, or your school doesn't care to or can't effectively put a little space between the younger and older kids, I would consider other options for getting her to school.

There ususally is a video. I told on a kid for spitting and it turns out she was hitting my dd and another girl the entire way home!

Tell the school, and if that child cannot stop harrassing your daughter and her friend then he needs to be removed. Plain and simple. If he still doesn't stop, get a protection order from a judge. Kid can't come within 100 feet of your child or something like that. Yep. I have heard of parents doing that. The school whips into shape when that comes into play. All of a sudden it will be a priority for the parent of the child that is doing the harrassing.

Ride the bus with her one day just to get a feel for things. I am sure the kid won't do anything but your presence can maybe get him thinking. I always thought a guardian should be on all busses with children. The bus driver isn't equiped to do that. They just drive the bus. The kids have no one looking over them.

Let us know how it goes.