My son is starting kindergarten next week. I am sick with worry about every aspect of it, but acting so excited for my son. The neighbor told me her son had problems on the bus with another neighbor last year. Her son was in kindergarten last year, and they do sit in front. But, the older boy would push him out of line in the morning, and push him back down into his seat on the bus (not letting him stand up). He also called him fatty and other taunts. The bad kids get moved to the front and are right next to the kindergarteners. There were other occurences. Her son survived, and they did switch to a different bus stop in the morning.
This whole thing has me so upset! I could just drive him and pick him up everyday. There is nothing in my schedule to stop me. But, it would be hard, especially throught the winter months. My son wants to ride the bus, but I'm so worried about him being picked on! What would you do?
Thank you for all the insight, ladies! It really helped me. I did let him ride the bus to school the first day. I don't want to deprive him of the opportunity, and I do want him to be independant. However, the bus driver did not direct him to sit in the front. He was on his own to find a seat and was somewhere near the back. It took 35 minutes for the bus to get to school, where as it's an 8 minute drive. To top it off, he didn't like it. He said it was uncomfortable, hot, and too long. So, we are both happy to sleep an extra half hour and enjoy a short ride together in the morning. Honestly, we do live in a nice community, but there a lot of trouble makers on the bus. I don't think 5 year olds benefit from exposure to emotionally disturbed 4th and 5th graders. The world isn't what it was in the olden days...
I would let him try it. My kids rode the bus all last year and they loved it. This year they don't love the driver so much. The bad news is that I could drive them last year and did most mornings once January hit. This year they have to take the bus, unless they get the nanny to drive them. So we'll see! Each bus, kid, driver, etc is different. Don't go on what one mom says...that's why we have this site :).
Let him ride the bus and see what happens. The bully kid could be different this year.
My son had a kid in his class that bullied him for 2 years. It was bad. Then last year after I had asked that they not be in the same class, they were. What's it going to take?!? I let it be, unhappily, and waited for the first instance. That instance never came, and my son and the bully actually became friends.
I drive instead of bus. I'm not so much worried about bullies. Right now I'm worried that he doesn't know his way around just yet. I can park the car and walk him to his class and hand him off to his teacher. If he's on the bus, I'm concered he will get disoriented and not be able to find his way to his class. There are teachers there to help, but for now, until everyone is settled in and comfortable, I'll keep driving him.
Why don't you just give him a chance? My kids never had any problems on the bus. You can't base decisions for your child and your family based on one person's bad experience :(
Don't let the war stories from others change what you do for your child. Just because her son had issues does not mean your son will. We can't let our children live under a rock because we want to keep them protected all their lives.
He wants to ride the bus, let him. See how it goes. I sub in the elementary level a LOT and the K students do sit in the front with the driver. In the afternoons, the K students are dismissed a few minutes before the rest of the school to be properly loaded onto the buses before other children start running to the bus.
Go to the bus stop with him in the morning and be there to greet him in the afternoon. Let him enjoy this rite of passage.
Why don't you let your son give it a try and see if he actually enjoys it before worrying about things that may never happen.
Don't put the cart in front of the horse just yet. Let him try it and see how it goes. You said it yourself "he wants to ride the bus"...so let him give it a try! Talk with your son about how to respond IF someone is mean. Do you know another (older) kid at his stop? Sometimes it helps to have a pair of eyes on him. Good luck!
Why not wait and see what happens? If your son gets bullied, pull him off the bus. If he doesn't, then there was nothing to worry about in the first place.
Ok just cause it happened to your neighbors son doesn't mean that it will happen to yours. I am a school bus driver and I do not tolerate bullying. IF it does happen (and not saying it will) contact the school and the bus garage. We just recieved a card about bullying and what to do.
I had a situation on my bus last year where a parent came to me about it. They both sat in the back and I never knew that things were being said. I took care of the situation and he never did it again. I do not tolerate name calling and pushing. If a student pushes then they are to remain in their seat till all children are off the bus and then they can get off. I also have them get off by seat 1 -2 -3. Younger children first, then the older.
If you have a problem then contact the school. Don't let him loose out on the experience. Stop worrying and see what happens. If the school or bus driver won't do anything then drive him. But by all means let him ride the bus if he wants too. Best of Luck!
Oh my word!! Calm down!!! You are panicking over something that happened to someone else...NOT YOUR SON!!!
Take a DEEEEEEEPPPP BREATH!!!! Let it out slowly....
Just because it happened to someone else doesn't mean it will happen to you....so instead of panicking about it - teach your son how to handle bullies and to talk with about it...don't freak on him and say "if johnny pushes you down..." tell him that it is OKAY to speak his mind and if someone says something that hurts him - it's OKAY to tell the bus driver, teacher or mommy...but don't get him afraid to go on the bus.....
I can't believe I'm gonna say it - but I agree with Denise P - you are putting the cart before the horse...
If there are problems - ask to be the chaperone on the bus...ask for a chaperone on the bus...there are many things you can do!! just not stress and panic over it until it happens....you are going to drive yourself insane
If you can drive him, I would. When my older 2 rode the bus, they told me that a lot of the littler kids were given a hard time. Also, the high school kids use a lot of bad language inappropriate for a kindergartner. I know a lot of people don't have the luxury of being able to drive their kids because of schedules, but if I had the choice, I would definitely drive them until at least 4th grade.
My boys have ridden the bus, have been driven by me, and this year they are walking.
They never had problems on the bus. If they did, those problems would have been immediately reported to the school and the bus company so action could be taken. Just complaining about the bullies does not make them go away. In our district, if a child misbehaves on the bus, they lose the privilege of riding the bus. Good kids should not be punished because some parents do not teach their kids how to behave in public.
drive him. i would NEVER let a little kid ride a bus (under 4th grade) personally i plan on driving my daughter until she can drive herself in 11th grade
Lots of kids have no choice but to ride the bus. It can be done with the help of the bus driver and a parent telling them if there is an issue. Let him ride the bus until there is a problem then address it.
Absolutely. I drive mine everyday.
I hear incredible, AWFUL things from my friends in my neighborhood whose children ride the bus.
Plus, they seem to keep losing kindergartners around here. (Be glad you don't live HERE!) The poor moms are freaking out at the bus stops, waiting for their little one, and find out that he's on a different bus!! One of my neighbors had this happen to her daughter a couple years ago, on her first day of Kindergarten, and then to her little boy last week!! And I thought, 'seriously, if they'd lost my daughter, I sure wouldn't be putting my little boy on there!'
Blessings!
Don't worry in advance it's wasted energy. If this does happen the bus driver and the school has a responsibility and it's not moving your child's stop. If your child or other children ate being bullied the school district needs to know about it. If they moved your neighbor's stop then they probably never confronted that bully. Students do lose bus priveleges for bullying. Please stop worrying.
If you do not let him in the beginning of the year it will be very difficult to do it later because now the bus driver and school personnel will help the kindergartners find their bus (leaving school) and making sure he knows what stop to get off.
I have to say that the highlight of both of my girls days is the bus ride to and from school.
We had a bad experience with the bus too, and neither my son nor myself will ever choose for him to ride the bus again.
He was in preschool, but because it was through the public school system he was eligible for the bus. They paired the preschoolers with a bigger kid so they would have a responsible buddy. His "responsible buddy" told him a scary story that had him freaked out for weeks!
Then the bus driver (who was the mayor of the small town) yelled at the kids to "shut up" at a railroad crossing.
Then they had a fire drill where they preschoolers had to get out of the bus at a middle school but didn't inform me of it ahead of time (I just would have liked to know if he was getting off the bus anywhere but his own school).
He also didn't like how noisy and bumpy the ride was on all those dirt roads, and it took over 30 minutes to get there, whereas when we drove him it was only a 15 minute ride.
Just drive him and reassure him that he will get to ride the bus with his friends when there is a class trip!
First nothing has happened to your son, so stressing out a little about something that may not even be an issue. You can also teach your son to be a strong person and how to deal with the situtations
My daughter, in kindergarten as well, is not taking the bus I am driving her. Main reason pick up time is 7:30 am, they do not arrive at school till 8:30am (so an HOUR on the bus) and we live only 5 mins from the school so I drive :)
If we lived further I would try the bus, my daughter loves riding on them, then if it works out great, if it is not going well drive and try again next year.
If you can drive him, I would...the majority of bullying happens on buses.
My daughter started kindergarten this year. I am fortunate enough that my work allows me to drive her to school & also pick her up. I refuse to let her ride the bus as long as I can help it. My daughter hasn't had a problem with it. She will have plenty of opportunities to ride the big school bus on field trips and things. Actually we got to ride a couple times this last weekend because a local museum was having a big event & they used local county school buses to bus people to & from the museum & some extra parking areas.
If my daughter asks why she doesn't ride the bus, I tell her that I am able to drive her & I prefer that. I also tell her that those school buses do not have seatbelts, and certainly don't have car seats with 5-point harnesses like we have in the truck, and therefore she is safer in the truck. This is part of my reason for not wanting her on the bus. She accepts it and is fine!
Hi, J.:
I would suggest that you get the names, addresses, and telephone numbers of the mom's on the bus that your son catches.
Suggest to the moms to have a plan of action when difficulties happen to initiate a circle dialogue with the kid's mom and the other mom's and the children who are affected.
the website of:
www.iirp.org
It is the place to learn about how to conduct a circle dialogue.
Hold the kid/s accountable for his/her behavior right from the start.
Just a thought.
D.
D.
I drive school bus, we don't transport kindergarten, but if I did i would have the kinder kids sit up towards the front and a special reserved seat for the ones being punished, and believe me (most) of the women drivers are better at discipline than the men. They are moms. what more can I say, I tried to stop taunting and name calling, I had an especially bad bus when i started 23 years ago but I told them (high school age) everyone deserves a safe and peaceful ride to and from school and it was not acceptable to pick on someone. They knew I meant business. The elementary is much easier to control, they are more respectful and fearful of what the driver might do as far as reporting them to the principal, I would let him ride the bus, see what happens. Have a good rapport with the driver, get to know your driver be friendly, let them know you have their support. Try not to worry.
My son started kindergarten this week and has rode the bus to and from everyday but the first day and has loved it! I don't just send him to the bus stop by himself either I'm up there until he is on the bus and it's driving off. The bus driver has all the kindergarten kids get on first and they all sit in the front so the bigger kids aren't around them. I would ask about the policy on the bus before you decide on if it's a good fit for your child but personally i don't see anything wrong with kindergarteners riding the bus.
The more you drive the more likely you are to get into an accident...Most accidents happen just 5 miles from home...Food for thought! Less likely to get injured riding the bus! And it's better for the economy ;)
Let him try!
Last year, little one rode the bus to school and did after-school til I got there from work. (work allowed me to adjust hrs for this) She had been all up and wanting to ride the big yellow bus since being in daycare and those kids riding the bus. This year, tho, she decided she'd rather do before and after-school, so that's what we are doing! Got me back to my regular hours and she gets playtime in the morning before school (not to mention the second breakfast!)
If he rides the bus, would you wait with him at the stop? This would prevent any bullying before the bus arrives (or at least keep you in the loop so you can help him to learn the behaviors he will need to handle these situations). It would also make for a more seamless transition when he's ready to go it alone.
You could also see if it's possible to speak to the bus driver - not to accuse him or her of anything from the past but simply to to share that you're worried about older children, to ask about their procedures, and to begin to build a relationship with the adult who will take care of your precious angel every day.
As you can probably tell, I am very big into teaching our little ones the skills they need to stand on their own two feet. I believe that driving him to and from school every day only delays the inevitable... but you're the one who knows him, and it's your call if you think that he's ready or if a delay of a year or two is what he needs...
I thought about this too when my first was starting school. However, as far as safety goes, your child is exponentially safer on a bus than in your car. Car accidents are the leading cause of death for children & they happen around the country, countless times per year. Bus accidents virtually never happen & even when they do, since school buses are designed to be incredibly safe during a crash, the rate of injuries & fatalities is incredibly small!
