My daughter is 2. She is pretty outgoing and happy at her day care, but as soon as I pick her up she acts like no one else is there. She does not say bye-bye to her teachers, or good morning to her class when I'm dropping her off. Is this too much to expect of her at this age? I know some of the other children have no problem with it.
I believe the more I try to encourage her/tell her to greet people, the more she thinks it's a good idea not to. At home, however, she says goodbye to me and her dad. When we leave her at day care, she does not. It's mainly an issue at day care, even though I know she's very happy and interacts fine when I'm gone or she doesn't see me watching.
Any ideas?
Thanks everyone for your advice! You know, at home she says Thank You and even Bless You! But we never really asked her to do these things. So I will definitely show her by example how nice it is to greet and say goodbye to people you know! I'm sure she'll pick up on it, especially if the battle of me urging her is taken out of the equation;-)
I agree with Brenda and Maggie!
Even as she gets older, the best way I find to teach my daughter is by example. No, it's not small stuff teaching manners. They are a fundamental behavior that sticks with a person, and bad manners are very hard to change. So I wouldn't be hard on her about it, just provide the example and she will follow.
Please don't expect too much from your child not responding extacly how you would like her to. My mother would rehearse to me exactly what to say in every situation and it made me just have high anxiety. She'll come around... especially if she hears you say it and other kids.
A. Lynn
Maggie F's advice is right on target. It is a *power* struggle. You'd be surprised at what all your daughter is taking in, though. One day she will surprise you and do exactly what she needs to do. It's all part of being a parent. Just accentuate the positive at this age and set the example. Pick your battles carefully or there will be bigger ones in your future.
Ditto to all the ladies, teach her by example. I've read on more than one occasion that the values we have by our third birthday make up most of the values we will have the rest of our lives. As a former teacher and a current SS teacher, I can't not believe how much of our society is neglecting to teach our children basic niceities - ok I know that's probably not a real word - LOL. So many children have an attitude today of entitlement instead of gratitude and it is RUDE RUDE RUDE. So you keep encouraging her and showing her. Politeness is never out of style. I love it when people comment on my 8 year old about how polite she is and what good manners she has. At least I know I've done a few things right in raising her (to make up for all the mistakes I've made) :-) Have a blessed day!
Don't worry about it. It's not important that she says hello or good bye at 2 years old. You could have a lot of other behaviors to worry about at this age. Don't sweat the small stuff.
Totally normal. I'd quit asking her to do it. Don't say anything more about it, but you keep setting the example. Pick her up and say "bye bye teacher! bye-bye friends!" and just head out the door. 2-year-olds are the most difficult and defiant people in the world (second only to nazi dictators...). If you say to do something, she will expressly try NOT to do it. However, she still wants to copy and emulate you. So keep your words brief, but your actions consistent. It doesn't mean you won't have battles, it means (hopefully) that you'll have fewer.
Good luck!
Hi E.,
She may be finding a button to push with you. I would relax on it awhile, maybe find some books on manners to read at her discretion, and put together a "manner" chart---it could have
**says hello to one friend
**says goodbye to teacher
**whatever else you want although I would not go overboard--maybe just 3-4 at the most.
Let her earn a sticker or something to put on her chart if she remembers to do what is listed. You could review the chart on your way out the door (or it could travel in the car with you). See if she does it on her own and as soon as she gets in the car to come home...hand out the stickers. I agree with not sweating over the small stuff, and at this point, I would consider this very small. As she gets older, it would not be, but right now some much development is occuring neurologically and emotionally (especially if she senses a new baby coming) that I would put the power in her court on this issue, however try to influence the progress with something motivating (i.e. the sticker chart).
Hope this helps....
K.
That's normal behavior. All children are very egocentric...it's all about ME, ME, ME!!! That's what our job is as parents to steer them in the right direction and model the appropriate behavior.
And by the way, I don't think worrying over manners is "sweating the small stuff". Manners are some of the basic rules of society, and her use of/lack of manners will affect her in her daily life. Manners are how we show that we care about other people, and sympathy for others will help her greatly in her life.
