The Older Kids

Friendships come and go at that age, especially with girls. It's hard to accept, but jus the way it is. However if the bullying is severe you should contact the school.

Hi, T.:

Look on the web for bullies2buddies.com

Go to the principle office and inquire how to get these two in a meeting and use the restorative practices approach.

Ask the offending child these questions?

What happened?
What were you thinking of at the time?
What have you thought about since?
Who has been affected by what you have done? In what
way?
What do you think you need to do to make things right?

Ask your daughter these questions.
What did you think when you realized what had happened?
What impact has this incident had on you and others?
What has been the hardest thing for you?
What do you think needs to happen to make things right?

Get to talk to the principle and state that you want a mediation with these two girls with the above questions. Tell him to contact the International Institute of Restorative Practices to get help in his school
Hope this helps.
Good luck. D.

I have a 10 year old daughter and am finding that friendships at this age are up and down. One minute she is friends with a someone, the next minute she's not. I think it's good to talk to the school but keep one thing in mind. The guidance counselor will probably make the 2 girls sit down together with them and discuss the problem. Would your daughter be able to do that? Most kids do not want to do that. My daughter had an issue with a kid and we decided not to talk to the school. She just learned to ignore the kid and it stopped. Good luck!

There a a lot of good books for this age, like the "American Girl" series. Written in a way appropriate for this age, and to share with Mom... and topics about friends too.

You can find it on www.amazon.com and read the reviews on it too.

As for bullying, if it is a problem, you should report it to the teacher. MANY schools have a zero-tolerance policy on bullying.

Make sure she has a good self-esteem... that she loves herself, that she is her OWN person... not having to be a follower or to please everyone, that some people are mean... but she can navigate herself and find friends with good qualities and find other interests. That it is not a "fault" of hers... some people are just not nice. So why be friends with them anyway.

All the best, just encourage her to talk with you about anything... and comfort her, making sure she is a confident girl,

good luck,
Susan

talk to the teacher and see if she can help

tell her if she is scared of the girl it gives her a way to bully her if she doesn't act scared and stands up to her for the most part they will back down and leave her alone. Have daddy teach her ways of defending herself just in case this theory doesn't work. My kid learned in high school most of them are just talk and just as scared of her. She has to out intimidate the other girl most of the time if you call the bluff they go away.
Just so you know using this theory my son only got in 2 fights in school the first was defending a girl which is acceptable to me because it was a boy bullying her and the other he started over a debatable issue I think it was the only way he was going to get the kid to back off him.

This happens all too frequently. Although you can call or write a note to her teacher and principal, I would also include the guidance counselor - have her sit down with just your daughter - not only will she talk to someone who can help this problem, but she can prepare her for future ones as well.

Hi T.. Call the school. You need to talk to the teacher, the Princapal, and if your school has one the councilor. You need to get this under control quickly. Best wishes.