Teenage Boy

C., I would look into the big brother big sister program. Finding a male role model for him could do some good. It could give him someone to talk to. Good Luck!

Hi C. -
I would have to say that there are 2 things going on here. ONe is definetly the age/hormone issue. Teens in general (especially boys) seem to have a bad attitude at this age. On this level you just have to be there for them, let them know you are still interested in what they do and say etc. The other issue is not having his Dad around. I have the same problem although I am remarried now and have a great husband/"stepdad" in the picture. However, my son (who is 15)didn't have his real dad around much while he was growing up and has some anger issues towards him. I think counseling is a great avenue for you to explore - even if your son doesn't agree at first. I think it will be good for him to talk about his feelings and get them out in the open. He may not even realize what he is angry about until he starts taking a look at his life w/ the help of a nonbiased person.....
Good luck!!
M.

I think that it is normal for any boy who is dealing with a "missing" father and a mom who is working hard to make a family with out a father present. He is probably hurting a lot inside, bitter towards his father (mayble you too) because dads not there to support him with things that boys need support from a father to do. Think of how it would feel to maybe see your friends dads participating in events, sports, etc. but your dads not there.
Great move on getting him counseling. Probably a thing that you should do together, eventually when he's had time to sort his own little head out.
If you are not part of a church with a youth program it would be a good idea to seek one out. Kids need other youth to relate too in a positive way, an adult that really cares about someone elses children enough to reach out and take the time to instruct them and a little of God never hurt anyone.
Good luck and keep your chin up. God is there waiting for you to call on Him for help.
T. www.partylite.biz/trinascandles

Celenisa,

Oh yeah it is normal our sweet and lovable children all of a sudden turn into aliens.. lol. They have raging hormones and peer pressure, it is tough for all involved. Set strict rules and consequences for when they are not followed. The mouthing part is teens. They want to be independent and not be told what to do. But sadly they are still under age and have rules to follow.. I have a almost 13 and 15 yr old boys.. If you ever want to chat I would love to share some technics I have used. You are not alone in this hormone war.. =)

I believe you are doing the right thing! My teenage daughter whom is now 14 was doing the same exact thing. i sent her to counseling also, but it didnt seem help. In my daughters case she didnt seem to think she had an attitude problem or didnt think she was angry. Im hoping it will help for your son. All you can do is stick it out let him know you are there for him to talk.

I know exactly what your going through. My oldest son is now 19, but during his growing up process. He took me through hell. I feel this is normal for women in our situations that are raising boy's alone with know help from the father and even though my son is now 19. He's still the same. I thought that he would grow out of it and that haven't happened yet. I pray that your son grows out of it.

I think counseling is a good option. He may not like this idea at first, but counseling is a confidential thing with a stranger, this helps a lot. Being a teen creates lots of pressure. Teens are alway worried about what people say and think. It's also hard to find someone to talk to because there's fear of possible embarassment, retribution or bias from the listener. It's probable that he's going through something normal/hormonal that he does't feel comfortable talking with anyone he knows about.

Very normal! I'm going through the same thing with my 16 year old son. I know it's tough. The counseling may help. Keep in mind that from the ages of 12 - 21, people are not normal! My thoughts are with you

Yes totally normal. I am about in the same situation as you. Not a single mom (Thank God) but I have a 15 yr old daughter and 4 yr old triplets. BOY does my 15 yr old have an attitude and she fights me on EVERYTHING even taking showers.

M.

I would totally try "Love and Logic" with him. It couldn't hurt and it will probably help in the long run with the other two as well. Check with your local RESD or school district and see if they have any upcoming classes locally. I was really impressed with it. While no one training method is 100% sure, this one is very positive and keeps you grounded (not flying off the handle-which gives them the control of the situation)
www.loveandlogic.com
You can find a lot of their used products for sale on ebay as well.
Good luck,
C. L.

I feel for you. Does your son see his father? He must be angry and scared. I think counseling is the best thing you could do as his mom. It might be individual or family but he needs help now immediately. If you need any help in finding the right therapist let me know. He must connect well with the person and he should know in about 2-3 visits. Maybe he needs a male role model also. Look for a program in your community. Here there are programs through Youth Assistance in each city. Good luck.
T.

Hi C.,
Believe me, I know how you feel. I have a 13yr old and a 11 yr old. I am also a single mom, and get no help from their father. but, I was in the same problem when my son was 12, everyone kept telling me that its the teenage years. but, i kept after my son. i even went to school and had a talk with the counseler their and the teachers. but, couseling will help if he doesnt snowball them. this year my son is not as bad as he was. and my kids dont even see their dad at all. some days i would just like to send my kids off somewhere for a few hours but, i dont have a place. their is a boot camp in brighton area that will take the child for a weekend its 385$. but, if you cant afford it, they will help you out. i was gonna send my child their, but his friend decied to tell him so that blew that idea. but, one night he got out of control and i called the cops and they told him that i could have him sent to childrens village if i wanted too. but, i didnt, adam has comm down some and not in tamtum modes...beleive me i do know what your going thru, been their..and it sucks sometimes.
if i can help any or want to chat some let me know.
T. j

It sounds like he is trying to get all the attention he can from you. More negative then positive. Maybe you can spend some time alone with him. A small trip or maybe get in a group activity together. Something where it will just be you and him, and get a sitter for your 2yr old.

C.
I don't think this is normal for a teenager, but I can relate to what you are going through and my heart goes out to you. I called Connecting Point and told them what issues I was having with my then teenage daughter and got an appointment for assessment to see exactly what group she needed to be in. She was placed with a counsler with a session every week, but to make a long story short, it was discovered that she was so angry with her dad, because he wasn't involved in her life. It was suggested that she write a letter and get out everything she was feeling as if she was talking to him. Apparently it worked, because after she wrote this letter within 2 months she did a 360 degree turn. Her father still isn't in her life, but she now knows that he is the one missing out on the love she has to share. Hopefully this will give you some insight on what is going on with you and your son.
I pray that your family be blessed and just know it gets greater later.
J.

My older sister is having the same issues with her 13yr old daughtor,Until recently when the whole family started getting interested in the things she wanted to do. Now on sundays we all do something togethor it has brought her out of that terrible mood and the family closer. Also remembor that most pre-teens & teenagers go through this stage just let him know you are not going anywhere.

Hi there C.,
I too have a teenage son, he is 16. I recently moved here to Holt from Utah to reunite with my husband who moved here a year ago. I have been a single mom on off with him and he has the anger and crappy attitude too. I dont have the school problem fortunately but I have to always be on top of him about school, homework, and grades. I have leverage with had leverage with him in that area because I provide his car, insurance, and phone so I would tell him I will take these privledges away. My husband tells me that the crappy "I don't care" attitude is normal and I have to say my daughter when she awas a teenager had a attitude too. Girls are just more vocal and ruthless in it. As for the anger, I think you are totally right about the counseling because they can tell you if its "normal" or not. I have considered counseling for my son but haven't had the courage to do it because he might get angry with me and I don't want to push him away since we just moved. I would love to know what advice you get or if counseling helps. N.