Teaching My Daughter About Her African American Heritage

Maybe a positive place to start is Kwanza. Kwanza was established in 1966 to provide an opportunity for the African American community to celebrate their heritage and reinforce positive community values. It's a hard thing to teach, but while ignorance, bigotry and trash comes in all colors, there are good people of all colors too. The Civil Rights Movement is not about people being nice to each other. Another good place, especially for a 6 yr old, is The Sneeches and Other Stories by Dr Seuss.

I don't have any experience with this topic, but I will tell you what I read in a book several years ago on the topic of cross-racial adoption, specifically white families adopting kids of a different race - I think they were talking about white American parents adopting from China. They said that many families join playgroups with others like them (white adopting Chinese). The authors, child psychologists, made an interesting point, that this is not the same as interacting with Chinese families and cultures. They said that this is fine for exposing your child to kids like themselves, but that it is not a replacement for seeing "whole" Chinese families because kids crave information about who they look like, and what their hertiage is that can't be experienced by only seeing multi-ethnic families. I don't know if that helps or is relevent, but I found it interesting.

C.,

Does your daughter have a diverse group of peers who share her heritage?

While I applaud your effort to enlighten her through books, if she's surrounded by a group of happy, diverse peers, she's more likely to learn about herself and to appreciate her mixed heritage through observation and interaction.

If her school isn't diverse (and I'm assuming it isn't), have you looked into activities for her?

Get her children's books that deal with her heritage and self esteem. Visit www.thevineyard-books for two books for girls (Everything About Me is Beautiful and Locs Like Mine).

There is so much more about African Americans than the civil rights movement. You could learn about where we come from, the Kings and Queens of Africa, do a search on African-American inventions, put positive images of her heritage in her bedroom, have her read beautiful poetry written by us. Have her meet African American women doctors, lawyers, biologists,teachers, and business owners. Drive through the Gold Coast (NW area of Washington DC) to show her that we do live in good homes, there are plenty in Prince George's County too.

Yes America has a terrible history of it's treatment of African Americans, and it's great for her to know it and all it's truths, albiet age appropriately. Yes there are bad people in each group, and not all Caucasians treated people badly, but too many accepted the bad behavior as the norm because they benefitted from it, and that has to be told. I wish you well in your quest to educate her and build up her love of self. When she gets older, please do not allow her to watch programs that always focus on negative images of us and understand we are NOT monolithic. Do the same for her Asian heritage too so that she has a full understanding of her greatness.

Greetings,
I think exposing her to real people is even better than books or t.v. Also are there festivals or regular cultural activities where you are? For example, we do/attend African dance concerts, Black History Month celebrations, African American Heritage Festival, cultural stores, and more. Leave the world of Disney and maybe check out movies like Kirikou. It is admirable that you are consciously taking this step.

Ironically the concept of color blind has traditionally been on the verge of racism because it usually means the dominant culture is the order of the day without seeing others. There are cultural differences and unique contributions that make the world beautiful and it is understanding them that helps people not fear those around them and eradicates racism not ignoring differences (hence ignorance). How many studies have to be done before people know how self affirming and important to their self esteem and preparedness to interact with the world to know about their culture. Sorry to use your post as a platform as you are already committed to cultural exposure, but I was disturbed that people would suggest that learning about your heritage and certain realities, even the ugliness, is somehow racist. Pride and diversity are so wonderful and are in no way a threat.

At 6yo I agree that the history of civil rights is premature.

A lighter route might be to explore the folklore/stories/movies/songs/dance/shows. For example, the African legend "Why Mosquitoes Buzz In People's Ears" http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Why_Mosquitoes_Buzz_in_Peopl...

Libraries have it in books/DVD, etc. In general...exploring the children's section of the library and any age-appropriate programs/classes they may have.

In my own multi-cultural family I've been trying the following: library resources; going to family functions of all sides to experience the unique food, language, humor, culture, etc; asking family members traveling "home" overseas to find children's DVDs, books & CDs.

It's ongoing... I hope this helps... Good Luck!

There are some really nice books in the library in the children's nonfiction section that discuss our human differences and similarities. Ask the librarian for books that are appropriate for kindergarteners and be sure to flip through them before reading aloud. See if that helps her understand the beauty of humanity. Will see if I can find my list of books for my 5-year-old and send offline if you need that.

As for her African American heritage, you might want to read African Beginnings (for yourself), also in the library, which gives information about various kingdoms prior to and through slavery. I would take this as an opportunity to show her Africa and Asia on the globe and how far it is from America. Teach her that people from all over the world came to America and brought with it their good and bad ways of doing things. Slavery was a worldwide system. And, once slavery ended in America, attitudes about each didn't change and laws were created that were not fair. Tell her that as she gets older, she will learn more about all of these things in history (which, sadly, you might have to teach at home). Anyway, teach her that there are many people who were many heroes because they fought against that unfairness, some Black like Rosa Parks, and some White like John Brown, and you will be more than happy to introduce her to biographies.

I think this is a wonderful opportunity to teach her about choices people make and how they hurt so many other people and hinder us from really loving one another. Teach her that from these negative incidents in history, many people have risen above their situation. Introduce (or re-introduce) to her those who have fought those injustices so that she will be proud of her heritage. It is not a shameful past that she has inherited, but one that she can embrace with pride, dignity and courage.

Dear C.,
Wow. thats an overload of info some mamas gave you. LoL. It's funny you should mention the Cosby show. The mom in that show Felicia Rashaad actually hosts a great series on learning about your heritage. They have a lot of different series including Korean American and mexican American and Irish American etc. I think it's called the heritage series and its in the children's section of our local library.
Good Luck with the teaching,
pammy

I am white and was born in the United States. I grew up mainly in Texas near Houston but spent a couple of my childhood years in New Mexico. Growing up near such a big city I was exposed to many different kinds of people. From an early age though, I was given the "golden rule" of "do unto others as you would have them do unto you" and was also raised to look at the inside of people and not the outside. I had friends of all races-white, asian, hispanic, african american...etc. Some were rich, some quite poor and some just in the middle. I was drawn to different people for various reasons but did not exclude people due to something as trivial as the way they looked. I actually found myself more often approaching those who everyone else shunned for such immature and ignorant reasons, and some of those people became my best friends. Just try to raise your children to appreciate some of the more important qualities in those around them. There are going to be some negative qualities in everyone as you said, but some of those are a red flag that you should run from and others can be overlooked and sometimes just a heart to heart can overcome some of those things. I never tried to follow society in the way that they told me my ancestors were or how I should act as a "white girl". I have always embraced many things and tried to look outside the box and not just stuck to one thing or another. Good luck!

"I had to tell her that the white people who are alive today are mostly not the same as the ones who were mean to Rosa Parks and that even back then there were some "good" white people"

I really dislike the way you stated this. 1.) the white people that were mean to Rosa Parks? You're blaming all white people back then for something a handful of them did. That's racist. By teaching your daughter "your people" "my people" you're perpetuating the problem. You should be raising your daughter as a decent human being and American. We all need to let go of divisive ideologies. 2.) You've got it backwards. Back then there were some "bad" white people that were making everyone else miserable. There have also been "bad" Asians and African Americans. You're making it sound like most white people are "bad" but there were a few good ones. You're wrong. Most PEOPLE (notice no distinction of race here) are good. There are always going to be a few rotten apples that cause problems for everyone else. I think you'd be doing your daughter a disservice if you didn't express this to her.

Please take stock of yourself and your own attitudes before passing them along to the next generation. You may find that you are in fact aiding and abetting the "race wars".

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I think Olu is wrong, she used the words "their culture". Isn't "their culture" that of the United States? Again we see that old pattern of people attaching "culture" to "race" which I feel is very wrong. Culture is something you can choose. I believe very strongly that if you choose to live in the US, then that should be the culture you have chosen to live in. What Olu was saying suggests a divide, an "us vs. them" segregational mentality that I think our country would be better off without. Too many people adjust themselves and their views to the culture they were told they belonged to instead of making their own informed decisions. Don't claim that America is a melting pot and then refuse to allow the ingredients to mix together.