H.W.
I really liked-- and highly recommend-- JoAnne Nordling's "Taking Charge: Caring Discipline That Works at Home and at School". This book discusses the reasons behind misbehavior and the discipline end of things is steeped in observation. Then, you can find out which *sort* of misbehavior you are dealing with and employ one of a few suggested corrections to find a solution which works for you.
What I love about this book is that Nordling (who started our local Parent Support Center and who worked with troubled families for years) focuses equally on the needs of both parent and child, as well as provides a context of a 'long line, generation after generation' of parents before us who have had to work through the same problems. She has a lot of visual imagery which one can use when feeling frustrated, when the kids won't let things go, when things become tense or challenging. She reminds us how we can be strong without being mean or hurtful toward our kids. She reminds us that we can have equal endurance to our children's efforts, and plenty of patience when we are teaching new ways of doing things.
She also has a very clear, authoritative approach and encourages parents to strive for that 'type B' sort of authoritative style. (type A being strict authoritarian/type C- permissive). Reasonable rules, reasonable expectations, consistency and empathy are what she asks of parents. She understands that many of us come to parenting as people who might not have been well-parented ourselves, and how that might play out and undermine our own sense of authority or security in how we parent our own kids. Overall, highly recommended and a very good read.
