Recommendations for Books on Discipline? - Corte Madera,CA

Hi G.,
You have gotten a great deal of advice. I am actually going through the same thing so the advice has really helped me in the right direction. Thanks ALL!

I was wondering for those of you who attend seminars, how do you find those? I'd love information on those! Thanks again,

C.
Helping moms work from home
www.AtHome4MyGirls.com

The Supernanny book is good and you can watch a re-run of the show for a little visual demonstration. ALL the books and my mom will tell you that you have to be consistent with whatever you implement - especially with a 2 year old!

Focus on the family has some wonderful books.I know there was one coming out called Bringing Up Girls that Dr Dobson wrote.

You have gotten lots of advice on what books to read, but here is some on how to read them: use the books not as recipes for "what to do," but as ammunition for your own thinking about effective discipline. Some you will agree with more than others, and some you may reject altogether, but they will all give you "food for thought."

Greetings G.: As the mother of 5, a grandmother, and as a foster mother I just want to give you some wonderful news---- this to will pass!!
In the great adventure of parenthood I have found that I tossed the books into the fire and went with my heart. I have some very adventerous children really can say that with 2 of my sons I think between them they broke every bone possible from all kinds of things, they thought up. Now I have the next generation to watch be high energy and maintance.
Please know that 2 year olds are not trying to be a problem but need to test boundries and they need to know that those boundries are firm, filled with your love and that you are the parent and not the friend. I have never tried to be my childrens friend but I am their mother 100%.
we have set rules of moral conduct, family rules of what is acceptable and was is not. We try to whisper in their ears how much they mean to us and how very blessed we are that they are part of our family. WE have a set pattern for everyday and as a grandparent I have to honor that. Since you are both working full time make sure that you have her in the same rules that she has to live by at the day care. Since she is there for many hours a day this is important. My daughter in law does something special since there is a long drive between home and day care-- she has her 2 year old call grandparents or her uncles or aunts to talk about her day- this way she learns things that she might not!! She is also very aware not to be on the phone to anyone but my son when it is her little ones time. She keeps her business calls to after her child goes to bed at night. My other children are doing the same. When they are off work it is parenthood that matters so then the child feels secure and loved. When the child knows that you are set in a routine and vary only rarely gives them security. If they know that you are in charge and not them that is important as well.
Since I have also run a day care I know that little ones are constantly making growth changes and again I have learned from that they just want to know who is in charge and what the boundries are. I have one grandchild that has at 2 decided that she doesn't have enough of her daddy- so she won't go to bed without him - so mom reads to her and gives her a bath and then he rocks her and holds her hand til she falls asleep But when it can't happen he just calls her and says goodnight and she will have to accept it. Good Luck, in your adventure of parenthood. It is the most rewarding thing that I have ever done and my greatest achievement in life. There is nothing like it. Nana G

well..."terrible-twos" toddles are getting a bad rap.
toddles don't know what we know, so we need to be patient,
hi G.
I know the feeling, my grandchild is a busy busy child so i have to explain just about everything, and its not easy trying to do just that.
so i try to always remember that he/she is only a little Angel.
they need logic...yes logic.
think of this way: if you start a new job something you know nothing about and coworkers start telling you,
"we have told you that procedure many times, you should know by now how to do your work"
would that make you/me "as an adult" make you/us a terrible adult"?.
so, i try to use a phrase like (if she/he is jumping on the sofa) "the sofa is for sitting, you may jump on the floor"
i have many things to say but got to go.
will email you, best wishes with this adventure.

Jane Healys positive discipline books! I like positive discipline A-Z, so I can do a quick topic search... good luck

I'm another fan of 1-2-3 Magic by Thomas Phelan. I see he has a bunch of other books on amazon.com

I read it when my daughter was 5, but should have read it when she was 18 months, becasue you can use his methods on very young children. Good luck!

As an ex-preschool and kindergarten teacher and now a mom myself, I LOVE the "Love and Logic" series of books! I've seen it work year after year in my classroom and now with my 13 month old! The basic idea is that you are giving them choices so they feel in control and empowered but you get to decide what her choices are. Example: baby is throwing her shoes against the wall... "Do you want to wear your shoes or do you want to throw the ball?" Problem solved... :) Hope it works for you as well as it has for me!

John Rosemond is my common-sense parenting hero! I love his book "Parent Power!" for parenting advice on any age child. I also have "Making The 'Terrible' Twos Terrific" in which he gives tons of great advice specific to the toddler ages.

I know you've already received several responses, but I just wanted to recommend a website for great parenting resources. The link below takes you directly to the family related stuff, but there is a lot more if you are interested. Everything is available as free mp3 downloads, but you can also purchase CDs, DVDs, and books if you prefer. The costs are minimal for hardcopies, so it is still affordable that way.

http://ctw.coastlands.org/store/home.php?cat=252

Have fun in your parenting adventure!

I would recommend '1-2-3- Magic' (don't know the author, sorry) as a terrific, detailed explanation of how to use time-outs effectively.

The Key to your childs Heart by Dr Smalley.

It is great and not contradicting. We have seen a lot less tears and I have used the principles with adults to and it works.

I found "1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12" by Thomas Phelan to be very good at helping to set limits.

Any parenting book by Dr. James Dobson works well! I believe the title of the two that were recommended to me were Strong Willed Child & Breaking the Will but Not the Spirit. To be honest, I haven't used them, but one was recommended by our day care lady & the other was recommended by a mother at church whose feisty son is in the same class as my feisty daughter. :)

Here are the books that I have found to be the best among all the other so popular books. These books stress on respectfull approach as opposed to dominating and authoritative approach.

1)Raising your spirited child by Mary Sheedy Kircinka
2)How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish (the best of best, it has real life examples of right and wrong ways in easy to read cartoon form)
3) Punished by Rewards by ?
4)Between Parent and child by Haim Ginot
5) How to negotiate with kids by Scott?

-Rachna

1-2-3 Magic!

I've read it, plus Positive Discipline and taken seminars in Love & Logic.

You need to find what works for you and your child, but for me 1-2-3 Magic works best.

How to Talk so Kids will Listen. How to Listen so Kids will Talk. by Faber and Mazlish

We have liked Love & Logic. this program gives kids the chance to learn from their choices and to learn to make choices, by letting her choose at times that it doesn't matter to you or to choose between two things you are ok with. By giving her some control, you can then take control of things that really matter.

Hi G., my heart goes out to any parent who is actually humbling themselves in search of parenting books. I have read and still consult with a few good ones I like. They are: Jane Nelson's Positive Discipline. She has a series of them, pick which ever strikes your fancy. I liked the A-Z one. She also has a helpful website with lots of Q&A from parents and free downloadable podcasts (You don't have to have an Ipod), so I've burned Cd's of them and listened to them while commuting to work. Any workshops that you can go to, I recommend!

Another author I respect is William Sears, MD and his wife Martha Sears in the Disicpline Book. All of my suggestions come from veteran parents who have around 8 children each. They both suggest that understanding the reasons for misbehavior and recommend techniques you can feel good about using, they don't recommend shaming or corporal punishment, which only build resentment and don't teach the child anything about how to solve their problems in the future.

I wish you the best, as parenting is a time of growth not only for child but another phase of maturity for adult as well. I know it certainly has stretched me!

"Dare to Discipline" by Dr. James Dobson. It is so simple but so effective!

I can't say enough about Setting Limits with your Strong-Willed Child by Robert MacKenzie. You'll love it. Wish I had purchased it when my kids were 2! It talks about setting clear boundaries with your children..... You just have to read it.

http://www.keepkidshealthy.com/reviews/parenting_books/se...

Order it on Amazon:
http://www.amazon.com/Setting-Limits-Your-Strong-Willed-C...

Hands down, the best book out there is The Discipline Book by Dr. William Sears. His entire line of books is amazing. You will not be disappointed. He's VERY practical in his approach. Several of my friends of used his advice and it has been really working for them. Good Luck!

Looks like you got some great suggestions. One piece of advice- go on to the Amazon.com reviews and look at the percentage of 1 star ratings. Now, all books are going to have some bad reviews, but when you see a book (like Dr. Dobson's for example) that have A LOT of 1 star reviews as well as some 5 star reviews- it tells you something about the controversial nature of the book. Dobson for example is very old school, and while he has a following, many people do not think his approach is based on current research findings. Just a word of warning. :)
So, just as before they are all contradictory. So I find its better to find one that has generally good reviews by most people and not a ton of very ANTI reviews, that way at least I am not stepping into a highly controversial approach-- but that is based on my opinion that any child raising approach worth its salt isn't going to incur the wrath of most sensible people.

Have heard really fgood things about Have a New Kid By Friday, but have not read yet. Have read and really like his advice and approaches- The happiest Toddler on the Block by Dr Karpp. HIs infant book saved my sanity and so far his advice for toddlers is working for us!

M.

I think the positive discipline books are great. Also keep tabs on your own anger level and how you approach or enter into disciplinary situations.

Years ago when my kids were small, I had the same complaint about books on discipline. I discovered Dare to Discipline by Dr. James Dobson. He said basically the same things the others had said, but his presentation was so much easier to read and understand. He approaches discipline, not from a standpoint of the 'expert' giving advice, but from the standpoint of a fellow parent who has experienced the same things we all do, and has learned how to deal with the problems. Dr. Dobson was for many years the clinical child psychologist at UCLA med center, so is an 'expert' but does not present his information with a detached air as so many do. This makes his advice easier to follow.

I went on Amazon and bought "Have A New Kid by Friday." Good book; give practical, realistic advice.
Sorry to say this but......wait until she is 3!!! It gets worse!