Speak up Please...

Sounds like jealousy. I would say maybe he needs more mommy time with you?? Maybe a special day with just you and him. Sometimes when a new baby comes along the attention shifts and it is hard for them to cope. Good luck to you.

I am sorry to say this BUT it sounds like he fights with his brother because he is Jealous of him and he does not want him getting attention.
He is talking super low because he thinks that it will get him the attention he wants.

Please take a step back and see if you are giving extra attention to your little one and not enough to your oldest one.

You might need to spend some extra time with him without your little one.
For example: (leaving the little on with daddy or a family member or a siter) go for a walk with your oldest, take only him to the store with you, take him out for ice cream, play with him at the park, or lay down with him in his bed at bedtime and spend some time reading with him.

It sounds like he needs more mommy time. I am sure that he is a good boy but he can't help how he feels, he just really loves mommy and daddy and needs to be reasured that he is still really special.

Pray for him so that he can get through this.
I wish you the best with this.
God Bless.

My first reaction to this is that it may be an attention getting mechanism for him. You say that it started after you had your 2nd child...so it just seems logical to me. I would start by NOT reacting to his shyness, don't try to push him, and whatever you do...do NOT use the word "shy" to describe him!!! It sort of makes for a self fulfilling prophecy. Then I would NOT react to his talking in whispers, if you can't hear him, ask him to repeat himself but don't make a big deal out of him talking so softly. The more you react, the more it is going to be reinforced in his mind as a good way to get attention.
I would also start carving out time every day for him to have with just Mom and/or just Dad. Let him know that he is still special, still loved and valued. I always make it a point, when I am "oohing and aahing" over a new baby, to also address the older siblings that are normally standing there, being ignored as everyone makes over the infant. I ask them if they are the big brother or big sister and tell them what an important job that is!!!

My acting coach used to say that "shy is hostile" maybe you should seek some help? or get him involved in something he feels excited about..to take his mind off the fact that he's not your only child anymore?? sounds like he's jealous and a bit bitter about having to share u..maybe tell him that you still love him just as much as before and how special he is..and that u miss him..the real him.

I wouldn't worry about this either. Remember that when we try to change something in our kids, we create an anxiety over it with them. My son used to be a major soft speaker and all I'd say is "what honey? I can't hear you". It took a while, but he talks just fine now. Still not loud like his sister, but he's a little more reserved than she is. Remember also, that kids at 5 years age have developed their personality, so he just may simply be a shy kid, which there's nothing wrong with. My son is a little shy

It sounds like it is jealousy to me. ?Jealousy of a sibling is normal and each child can present it in different ways. Just a suggestion, have you tried ignoring it when he does not speak loudly. Maybe he is speaking low because he knows he will get more attention that why by not being heard. I wouldn't answer him when he does not speak loud enough. Simply pretend you do not hear him and go about your business. Or you can say something like "I am sorry but I can not hear you, if you want me to answer you you have to speak up. " and then continue about your business. He will probably be taken back at first but he will realize that you will not feed into this. If this is something selective then he will realize he needs to speak appropriately so he can be heard. It is obvious he has a voice if he can scream and yell at his brother so it does sound like an attention getter to me. Is there anyway you can spend some extra mommy time with just him. I am not sure how old your younger child is but maybe when he is napping have some mommy and me time with him. It could be reading books together, watching his favorite show together, doing a coloring project together, whatever he enjoys and see if the extra attention you give him helps. Sometimes when we ignore negative behavior it can go away as quickly as it came. If this behavior is working for him then he will continue it. Once you do not respond to it I think he will get the message. As far as around family and friends my daughter was shy as a child and is very outgoing as an adult. If it doesn't help then I would talk to your doctor about the behavior and get his or her input. Good luck!!

Kids will do anything to get attention, especially if they feel they're competing with others (classmates, siblings) for it. Your son was always talkative because it got him attention. Now he's discovered that if he whispers and mumbles, he can get more attention, and stretch that attention out longer, because people encourage him to repeat.

If you want to discourage it, you'll have to start just disengaging and walking away. Terminate the conversation by saying, "I can't hear you," or, "I can't understand you," and walk away. If you keep asking him to speak up, he has your full attention. If you walk away, chances are he'll follow you to keep the conversation going.

If you ask, for instance, what he wants for lunch and he mumbles, don't ask again. Just walk away, make something, and hand it to him saying, "I couldn't understand what you said, so I figured you didn't care." Chances are, he'll start to complain - "But I wanted tuna fish!" - giving you a chance to say, "Well, next time, make sure I can hear what you want."

And yes, just when you conquer any behavior, another will appear or get worse. Most kids will do ANYTHING they think makes them the center of attention. It's normal and natural, but that doesn't mean that we as parents should put up with rudeness.

My older son now 6 went thru a phase where he wasn't sociable And shy all the time but luckily it was just a phase. My daughter whim I always considered independent and strong willed is now going thru this but her preschool teacher of 2 yrs suggested I contact the school district and have her tested. After meeting with a speech therapist, special Ed teacher and psycologist and they also have been in contact with her current teacher she's been diagnosed with selective mutuism I was totally shocked but they said it could be a phase of maybe something more. Every school district should offer testing and they work in small groups for therapy and if they feel it's no longer needed can be discontined. Please check with his teachers to see if it's more than "jealousy or attention craving". Hopefully it's just a phase but if something else early diagnosis would be helpful.
Good luck

It sounds like your son needs to seea professional to help him adjust to a new brother please do it you will be amaised at the results good luck A. no hills

Does he get any alone time with you or your husband? Perhaps take one day a week and have a mommy/son date, and same with your husband and your son.
Good luck, momma. :)

I am a Kindergartner teacher and I see this all the time. I agree with all of the responses that you have received, however each child is different. Most of us will agree that his shyness and lowering the sound of his voice is probably due to attention-seeking. You need to figure-out what works for you and your family.

I am required to assess my students each trimester to make sure that no-one is falling through the cracks, etc. and I have some students being sluggish, slowly responding to my requests. So I reevaluate how I am instructing, adjust and modify directions, have additional small groups, etc. Sometimes this works, but then sometimes a parent can very strongly address their child telling them to listen to their teacher, follow directions, etc. and like magic their scores can double and even triple.

My point is, that if you try one way...like ignoring him when he's speaking softly...and it doesn't work then switch what you're doing until you find a strategy that gets him to react in the manner you're comfortable with.

Someone stated here.."Please take a step back and see if you are giving extra attention to your little one and not enough to your oldest one."

i also suggest to see if the opposite is happening too. Is most of the attention going to your older/shy son (i.e. leaning in, listening closely to him because he's whispering, having spent more time him regarding his previous issue about whining/crying)..maybe all this is giving him the kind of attention that he craves for, but could be backfiring on you.

I also wonder too if whispering is like a bit of a special thing/secret that he thinks he has with you.....a tool that prevents his little brother from hearing about your conversations.

But other moms here have great ideas on the shy issue, i'm sure they're worth a try.

Good luck

I would say that the best thing for him is to spend regular alone time with him. Once a week, twice a week do something special with just him--it doesn't have to be expensive (even a trip and time at the park), just make sure that he knows that he is the only that "gets" to do this special thing. After some time, and it will take regular investment of time, he will start to open up, because he knows he has no competition. You may enjoy this time and make a tradition for years! It will be worth it in the end.