Son Just Turned 4 -- STILL Not Potty-training -- Can Do "Everything Else."

My son is not in daycare and does not get a chance to react with other kids much (I wish he did). He had some problems with his pottytraining. What I did was put him in big boy underwear..he hated the feeling of being wet. Also, I put up a sticker chart. Each time he used the potty I let him put a sticker on his chart. He loves Thoams so that is what we used. It took a while but he is now using the potty and no longer wants the stickers.

I know it is sounds gross, but the pull ups are a crutch. Make him start wearing underwear. The realization of something that isn't disposable may give him a little push. To me, pull up are no different than diapers and your son may feel the same way.

My son just turned 3 in December, and he just became fully potty trained at the beginning of this month. He wore pull-ups for a while. I think they are the worst. We got him some "big boy underwear". The first few times I tried them he used the bathroom in them. So I went back to pull-ups because I am not a stay at home mom , so I couldnt have him using the bathroom in his underwear at daycare. Well we went on vacation for two weeks, and he wanted to wear the underwear. So I tried again. He did good with pee-peeing, but for about 3 days straight he poo-pooed in them, but I did not give up. Kept putting only the underwear on him and encouraged him by giving him change for his piggy bank every time he poo-pooed on the potty, however when he slipped up and poo-pooed in his underwear, we took his change away. Well he wanted to keep getting money for his bank, so he started going to the potty all the time. We gave him money for his piggy bank for about 3 weeks till we knew he had gotten the hang of it, and now he's fully potty trained and only thinks about the money every now and then. Dont know if my story helped, but that's what happened with my son. Maybe try only the underwear. Sure its a mess and disgusting to have to clean, but it worked.

Well, I know how you feel. I have a 3 year old turning 4 on March 31st and he is still not potty trained like he should be. Oh, my birthday is also January 28th. Thats cool.
Anyway, its been about 2 weeks that we have been trying. He does great at daycare, but the problem is that he only goes twice a week. He will tell me when he goes in his "big boy underwear" but won't tell me when he needs to go to the potty. I have to constantly ask him and even when he tells me he doesn't need to go, I still bring him and he usually needs to go potty. Also, I have been told that boys take longer than girls. Also, I know in my situation, he is my baby and I tend to be more easy going with him than I was with my 11 year old son. Keep trying cause I know for me its getting a little better everyday. I used my last diaper on sunday and I have refused to buy another pack. I don't know if its harder for me not to use them or for him. Set your mind that you won't buy anymore diapers, then he has no choice but to use the "big boy underwear". And also, making him go right before he goes to bed, will help from him going in his sleep. Thats the one thing I can say, that in 2 weeks he has never gone in the bed. Also, as soon as he opens his eyes in the morning bring him to the potty. Hope this helps and hopefully we both can achieve this goal. GOOD LUCK!

he has to have rewards as well as consequences. my 6 year old was potty trained by the time he was two. i believe it is easier for stay at home moms. what i did: i would take him to the bathroom every two hours, sit him on his chair and wait a little bit. even if he did not go, i would clean him up, he would flush the toilet and wash his hands all by himself, which he loved to do. when he would go, i would give him a piece of gum (he would do anything for gum!!) after a couple of weeks, i explained to him that if he needs to go that he has to go in the toilet and mommy would be happy. but if he went in his pants, i would have to take away his gum and also his dessert. sometimes he would go and sometimes he wouldn't want to go and wet his pants. at that time i would leave him wet for a couple of minutes to show him what he did. he did not like that feeling and would start to tell me moe often when he had to go. little by little, he went from diapers to underwear-no pullups. but every child is different, my 3 year old barely got potty trained. you have to remember not to get angry at them or punish them in a bad way. they have to learn how to respond to their body's urges of having to go potty. if you get angry or yell then they will get scared to tell you either way. i taught at a christian daycare and potty trained 9- 2 year olds in 3 months.! so it is possible with patience and understanding... good luck!!

My daughter turned 4 on Nov 21. She is still not potty-trained. She will wear panties at daycare and go potty for them all day long. But, when she gets home and has to go potty she will ask for a pull-up and then go. I've talked to her pediatrician and he told me that potty-training does not happen in a weekend, week, month etc...It happens when they are ready.

I've had to "battle" my MIL because her idea to get her to go on the potty is to punish her. I will not do that. It's not something to punish a child for.

Today she stayed home with dad...he himself is disabled...he has a condition called optic atrophy and his eyesight is very, very bad. He is blind enough he can no longer drive. I had to go into work early so I left her here. She went potty all day long. I was so happy to hear that. I've been telling her dad to be patient with her and she will go when she is ready. He is like most men and believe any and everything his mom says and that she is right no matter what. But, I will not waiver in my own belief. I know she will do it when she is ready. Just reward and praise your little one. Try some sort of reward and just have patience. It will happen. I know it can be frustrating cause I've had my share of frustration. And having an MIL that makes snide remarks doesn't help but I have no problem coming up with a response to her.

It maybe because everyone around is grown. I've saw where kids regress because they want to have control and not to feel forced to grow up. It sounds like you need to make some play dates with kids his age and then he'll feel the need to potty train.

take away the pull ups, buy big boy underwear, the uncomfortable messiness will deter him from not using the potty

don't let others make you feel guilty for not having him in daycare. What did parents do to teach their kids to go potty before the readily available daycares of today's culture? they showed them how to go. Get your husband or older son to take him when they go. Have them talk it up like he will belong to a special club, buy him a kid's wallet or something else that he would like(should be "man" related) and let that be his "initiation gift" when he masters this part of becoming a man. you can also throw cheerios in the toilet and teach him to "sink the cheerio" or use froot loops and get him to aim at specific colors (bet big brother would love to help with that a few times)

Good luck,
C.

I have two sons aged 5 1/2 and 4 (turns 4 on Friday). Both of mine held out on potty training until they were almost 4. They were both in daycare from infancy, so I'm not sure that it really makes a difference. I stressed about my oldest, but my pediatrician assured me that boys just take longer. The benefit of waiting until they are ready is that they usually potty train in a matter of days. The best suggestions I have are either going without anything on (pull-up or diaper) or wearing big boy underwear. You might even try putting a little potty in front of the TV (it worked with my oldest). Treats and/or consequences did not help with either of mine - in fact, with the little one actually created more of a control battle than anything else. What finally worked for him in December was telling him that Santa wanted him to use the big boy potty. Just hang in there and don't let other people bring you down. He is still in the normal range for boys. Good luck!

Why don't you take the pull ups away? Put him in underwear. If he has an accident, make him clean it up. Stop giving him the option of diapers.

Hi M.,

I also have two boys, ages 11 and 15. When my oldest didn't want to be potty trained, I made a game of it. If he had to "pee", I would make him stand up, not sit down. I would put about 10 Cherrios in the toliet bowl and tell him to pee on them. My son loved trying to "shoot" and dunk each Cheerio. With my youngest son, it was kind of an unplanned thing. We were camping and I designated a "pee tree" away from our camp, so the boys could have a place to go pee. Well, my youngest son saw his older brother peeing on the tree and thought it was a game. He pulled his pants all the way to his ankles and peed on the tree trying to "get the ants". It was so funny! Then after that, some how, he got it, and had no problem with him peeing in the toliet at home.

P.

Just let me say, you have come to the right place. I have a 4 1/2 year old son, that I was having similar problems with. I came to mamasource and got the best advice. he now does it all. We were peeing just fine, with an occasional accident, but he would not poop on the potty at all. We would sit and wait, but nothing. We tried rewards, reading, sitting several times during the day, but nothing, and school was just weeks away. He also did not go to day care, and everyone said that would have helped. Read all the advice you can on this website, but the best advice that I got was to find out what time(s) he was going and try to sit him there at that time. He was very irregular. So, I was noticing he finally started going in the am, before we woke up. Well we would set the alarm clock, and get up an hour before usual, and sit then. He finally started going. We just had to go on his schedule, or before it. He only had one accident, and he was sick then. I hope this helps. I was at my wits end and the mothers here were so helpful. Best of luck. T.
P.S. Try putting him in underwear. When he was out of the pull ups it was a whole different story.

You may laugh, but if you start an active potty training session on a new moon, paying attention to his signals, then by the full moon he should be potty trained. This worked with myself, all my siblings, and countless nieces and nephews. Also, after sitting on the potty and not doing anything, allow him to stand up for a moment, pull up the pull up, and then have him pull it back down and sit on the potty again. After enough of this, eventually his little bladder will get the idea.
Hope this helps,
K.

First of all, let me say just because you are a stay at home mom doesn't mean that you son is going to be harder to train. I don't know if this will work for you but I had to let my daughter not wear anything but a long shirt around the house... no pull up, diaper, or underwear and let her go on herself once or twice. I had her help me clean it up and after that, she went on the toilet. She didn't want to go on herself any more. I hope this helps.