Sometimes I wish I had the emotional capabilities of a 2 (almost 3) year old. Sometimes I wish I could just scream and cry because I am so overtired and emotionally spent. But being an adult, being a mom, sometimes I just can't.
My grandma died this weekend. She was 93. We knew it was coming, and I was able to be there to help a lot. We had a beautiful connection and I am handling it well, but still extremely sad. Since last Sunday when death became imminent, I have been in and out, going to visit when I could. This last weekend was busy, no nap on Saturday, and then after she passed away on Sunday, I went to go see her, be with family, and help my mom/aunts plan. Another "no nap day" on Sunday. Wake was yesterday, Funeral today, nap was limited to car ride. He did so awesome at the funeral home and during church today. So awesome.
Tonight, he required a little more extra effort. Understandable!!!! But I watched him, crying because he was just so overtired and spent and I just wished I could do the same.
So, I know this is supposed to have a question...but I really don't have anything to ask. I wanted to write the top line/paragraph/statement on FB, but didn't really want to get all of the concern/pity or have people I know see it that maybe don't need to see (i.e. the moms of the two kids I am babysitting tomorrow).
I will be fine, I am ready to get back to "normal", but just wanted to get out that sometimes I wish I could scream and cry like a 2 year old :-) Thanks for listening :-)
Thanks all! I did do some crying in front of him, no worries, I am not the stone faced momma who won't cry in front of her kids. But when I say "scream and cry" I mean a FULL BLOWN OUT TWO YEAR OLD TANTRUM is what I felt like I needed last night! I just wanted to throw down the tantrum right there with him! :-) Just one of those moments I guess when everything comes to a head and you have just had it :-) Thanks again for all of the encouragement :-)
You can. I usually go into my bedroom into the closet to do that. Doesn't happen very often. But every once in a great while..... it helps.
I am very sorry for your loss.
Last week, on March 20th, I got the news that my brother (not blood related, but my brother all the same) took his own life. I cried for two days straight. My kids saw me cry, they cried with me - he was their uncle. My husband held me and the kids while we were in intense emotional pain. I tried to not cry in front of them, but I wanted them to know it is okay to cry and it is okay to be sad. We are still SO sad and probably will be for some time to come. He was only 25, just turned 25, and will be missed forever. We are sad that his almost 2 year old daughter will never really know him, and my kids who had formed a strong bond with him will always miss their Uncle Joey. My brothers were extremely close with him and they are taking it hard too. We have all cried in front of the kids and with them.
So basically, I'm saying to let it out. Cry in front of them. Let them see you sad, let them learn a possible way to handle this loss. Crying helps you feel better.
You can scream and cry. When I'm having a hard time, feeling the need to cry, I watch a really sad movie. Crying is so helpful. It releases chemicals into your system that helps you feel better.
I've also sat in my car and screamed, not very loudly. but loud enough to get the energy out. I'd use words and more yelled than screamed.
Speed walking or jogging will also help get rid of that extra energy. It's the feelings confined inside that causes the need to cry, scream, run. They are wanting to get out.
So sorry to hear about your grandma. It sounds like she was wonderful. When my dad died, I would lock the doors in my dorm room, turn off the lights and think of whatever I could to bring the tears. Then I just cried and cried hard. Then after a few minutes, I had gotten it out of my system. I turned on the lights, opened the curtains and washed my face.
Years later, I heard that it was very cleansing to set a timer and let yourself cry. It is cleansing and healing. So that's why it felt like a relief. Maybe you could have a daily cry in the shower. Hopefully you will soon have more happy feelings than sad ones when you remember your dear grandma.
What a tiring time for you. The stress on you and your little one is too much.
Try to be good to yourself tomorrow. A lot of time when you are very stressed and then things turn down the heat, you get careless and accidents happen. So think carefully tomorrow. Your mission for the next week is to repair your stressed system. Do quiet activities when you can. Don't "make" yourself do things. Let things slide. Take a vitamin, even if it's a children's one! Make yourself hot chocolate or tea. Pray. Do things that build you up. Say No more often. Cry when you feel like it. Watch funny shows. Be gentle with yourself. So sorry for your loss.
I am so sorry about the loss of your Grandma.
And why can't you scream or cry? Or at least yell and sob. I don't get that. Like MomtoOne, I sing in car when I'm alone. I've also cried and sobbed and screamed when I'm super frustrated and super tired. No one ever accused me of having a tantrum or behaving like a toddler (because no one hears me do it). You do it, it's over in a few minutes and then you move on.
You're human. It's okay to have emotions and express them.
It's OK to cry and scream! Do it and you'll feel better. So sorry about the loss of your grandmother. Your relationship sounds like it was an awesome one.
Hugs!
You scream your head off and hold your head high!
It'll be better tomorrow. :)
You can, mom. It's okay to have a hard cry. When my dad died, the next night I laid down and cried and ended up with a fever. It was gone the next morning.
I'm so sorry about your grandmother. Take some time to grieve. You need to do it.
Dawn
Sorry about the loss of your Grandmother. When we lose someone cherished, it is a long process to get to a place of acceptance and normalcy. Nobody expects you to be back to normal in a couple of days.
Life stresses me out every day. What helps? When I'm alone in my car I put the music on very loudly and sing at the top of my lungs. I'm sure people think I'm certifiable, but I don't care. It helps and I always feel better after. Try it!
It's been a rough week. Scream a little if you want (although I'd suggest into a pillow). Try to nap when your little guy naps. Death is a hard thing to overcome. Give yourself permission to grieve. Sorry for the loss.
Aaaaw, I lost my dear grandmother at 93 as well, when I had a two-month old. Sending you comforting hugs. Have a good cry (or a few) late at night, or early in the morning. It's so theraputic. Best wishes to you. SO sorry for your loss. :'(
Go sit in the car with music on very loud and scream to your hearts content!! Sending you a hug!!
I scream and cry as needed. There's nothing wrong with that at all. We moms are humans too and it's perfectly acceptable to release our emotions in those ways too. My condolences on your loss. Allow yourself the freedom to feel and express what it is that you are going through.
Big huge hugs and when appropriate, have that big ol' tantrum. That's what I do when I'm alone: )
You go ahead and have that good cry that you need! I find that the shower is a great place to let it all out and not freak out the family. Sending you a big hug. My nana, 91, died in January. It was expected as she was briefly ill and we all got to say good-bye, but the whole process of planning a funeral, attending the wake, and attending the funeral is physically and emotionally draining. After your little one is asleep, have a good cry, take some advil and go to bed. Sometimes you have to be good to yourself for a half hour. This is one of those times.
So very sorry for your loss...cherish her memory!
go for it. let it all out. i sometimes escape to our master bathroom and have a good 20 min cry. its not often but it HELPS. cleans your emotions out. its sad to loose a loved one...expected or not. my grandmother is 84 just had a tumor removed...she is in there but its hard to understand what she wants....but she has comunicated enough with the same personality she always had...she is here...sort of. its heart breaking to find something that needs minding and know she cant and soon wont be here any longer. HAVE yourself a good cry and call it a cleans.
I wish I could cry. But I can't. I can't make myself cry. I can cry while reading a good book or watching a good movie or even watching a stupid commercial... But sometimes when I'm upset, and I really want to cry because I know that it will help me feel better, I can't. It sucks
i know.
me too.
{{{{{}}}}}
khairete
S.
