Sleeping... - Janesville,WI

I've never made it a habit to co-sleep with my 2-year-old but I don't think that there is anything wrong with that. I remember when I was a kid, my dad worked third shift and I slept in my mom's bed. I loved feeling safe by her and it was a great time to cuddle and talk. I wouldn't trade those memories for anything. I think you're doing a great thing and don't let anyone make you feel bad about it.

As long as they are sleeping in there own beds when the hubby is home and at naps there is no harm in having them in the same room. If people are giving you a hard time Just tell them thats the way you like it and its what works best they can go on there merry little nosy way. My hubby also works third shift so I understand where you are coming from. My kids are older so they are in there own rooms but I had a baby in July and she is in with me.

I dont think there is anyhting wrong with what you are doing---as long as you know you might have a hard time getting them to leave your bedroom--I did the same thing & I am having a hard time with my two daughters 4 & 5 sleeping in their bedroom now--I hope with them starting school I can get them to make the "switch" as I am telling htem big girls sleep in their room in order to go to school. But if your comfortable with the kids by you while your alone at night its your choice. Good luck..I did the same thing & we r just fine-- for now =)

I don't think that you are being paraniod. My one year old daughter sleeps in the same room as my husband and I. I think that you feel safer with them near you. Then they are your children and your there mother. It is your choise were they sleep. I agree in having children close. I waited six long years for my daughter. And i need her close. But i believe it is up to the parents and no one else. I hope i helped you a little. S. mother of one 17 month old girl.

I'm with the other ladies, S.. Do what is right for you and your family. We co-slept with our little boy until he was causing too much disruption (not enough room in the bed for a tumbler) and then transitioned him to his own bed in our room. Now we're working on getting him to his own room, but taking it at his pace. He's slept in his own room a couple of times and ended up being pretty anxious about going in there alone. If he falls asleep before being put to bed, he doesn't care that he sleeps in that room.

We have friends that co-slept with their boys and eventually transitioned to having the boys sleep together... and now the boys have their own beds. It all works out and they are not emotionally stunted, etc. because of it. Personally, I think you're doing the right thing! ;o)

If it works for you and your family, then nevermind what others say. :)

I think it is totally fine. Whatever works best for you and your family is the right thing to do. Don't let people give you a hard time about it. There are some things that our family does that other people think negatively against or don't understand, but it works for us. I agree that having your children near you when you are home alone gives everyone a little extra piece of mind. When my husband is away on business trips etc I have my kids sleep with me too.

Good Luck and don't feel like you are all alone in this one.

Here's my 2 cents. I too received a lot of grief, especially from my own family when I was sleeping with my first son when he was a new born. He is now almost 5 and has 2 little brothers who have each slept with us and still join us when they can =) People are starting to lay off and not press the point.

I teach natural childbirth classes and I talk to my students about co-sleeping. It's not for everyone, but there is nothing wrong with it (in a "healthy" family...obviously). I tell them, not to worry, their child won't want to sleep with them when they are 16 and by then you may wish they were, just to know where they are =)

If I were you, I would do what you are feeling most comfortable with and it that means having your children near you, go for it! You are their mom and you were chosen for that job because you are the best one for the job. Trust yourself!

Hi S., I understand completely on how you feel about having your children in the same room with you. I was a single mom with my first son, Simon for 6 years and he slept with me from day one. The only thing I will warn you about is when YOU and not anyone else is ready to move the children into there own room it will be hard not only on them but you also. When my now husband moved in with us Simon did better than I did with the transition to his own bed. I got up and checked on him at least 5 times a night the first few weeks. Now my husband works third shift and our 14 month old is in his own crib but still in our room. Simon will some times crawl in to bed with me at night and it makes it all the more special since it's not an every night thing. Anyways they are your children and you do what you feel is best for you and your children. And if you hubby is fine with it than you keep doing it for as long as you want.

If you feel comfortable doing this then so be it. It doesn't matter what everyone else thinks. Those are your children and when they get older or if the situation changes (husband hours change) then you can work on getting them to sleep in their rooms.

I personally would not/do not care what anyone else thinks. What works for some one else may not work for you. EVERY child is different.

Take care!

Hey there. I have been there myself. Home alone with the kids all night, while my husband worked 3rd shift. I did the same thing. I had both my kids in my room for the same reasons that you do. There is nothing wrong with it. If you can sleep better and its not upsetting your kids sleeping then what is the harm? I dont think you are paranoid, sometimes I get up in the middle of the night to double check the doors to make sure they are locked even though I checked them twice before going to sleep. Anyways If it makes you feel safer to have your kids in your room, then I say good for you. There is no harm. I also think you would be surprised at how many people do the same thing. Not to mention all those people that have there children sleeping in there room even though both parents are home. Remember there are alot of people that think things should be done the way they do it,but thats not the case. As long as you feel safe and your kids are fine do what you are doing. Everyone is intitled to their oppinion. But that doesnt mean that we have to go with it.

I too used to double check doors, windows every night. We got a home security system and now I sleep soundly every night knowing the kids are safe. My daughter (who is 11) even sleeps on the first floor and baby and I are upstairs. It will be difficult to get your kids out of your room unless you start now.

I wonder if my husband and your husband work for the same company LOL!! Both my children co slept with me. Now my 8 year old has her own room and has for years but my baby still sleeps with me. Do what you feel is comfortable for you and forget what everyone else says.

S.-

I don't think you should let anyone influence what you do in this situation. You are the mother of those children and your instinct is better than anyone's opinion in this matter. Do what feels best for you and your family. If your husband is onboard with your decision, then I wouldn't worry about it. Your family choices are to be made by your family. You're not doing anything to harm your children. You shouldn't have to defend your choices to anyone.

Good Luck!

-L. R.

First, don't let anyone give you a hard time about it. Plenty of people around the world co-sleep for many reasons. I will say though, that when you do choose to break the habit, it will probably be VERY difficult for the little ones to sleep in their own beds. Good luck!

Don't ever let someone tell you you're "doing things wrong" with your own children. When I was living alone before I met my husband, I did the same thing. Even though my son was only on the other side of the wall, I still felt like that was too far away. (I, too, check the locks twice at night) :) Do what is right for you and your family, and never let anyone make you feel like a "bad mom".

The only problem I could see with this arrangement is eventually getting the 4 year old to sleep in his own bed/room. I am assuming you don't plan to continue co-sleeping with the kids when they become teenagers, so eventually you are going to have to make the transition. The longer you continue this way, the harder it is going to be. Kids often have trouble learning to soothe themselves and fall asleep, and a kid who is used to being next to mom is going to have an even rougher time. You really should ask, is this something you are doing for the kids, or for yourself? Could your kids be filling a void created by your husband's schedule? If it is more for your own comfort, then you are doing the kids a disservice by not helping them learn to sleep independently. And nobody will ever convince me that it is right for a parent to allow a child to meet their needs for closeness or comfort. I actually have no problem with co-sleeping, but the 4 year old is getting close to the age when he needs to develop more independence because soon he will be away during the day for school. If it were me, I'd gently start transitioning him to a "big-boy" bed of "his very own" with lots of excitement and fanfare BEFORE he has to start dealing with the stress of going to school. It isn't too early to start working with the 8 month old either so that sleeping alone won't seem so out of the ordinary, but the first priority should be transitioning the 4 year old. I have worked with families who got caught in the co-sleeping trap and who had their 8 and 10 year olds still in the bed with them at night, every night... which just seemed well, wrong, and unhealthy for the kids. If you don't already have one, get a monitor for the 4 year old's room if you need to be connected with what is happening in there. Good luck.

i love having my son in bed with me. he is 5 now and i know it won't be much longer and he won't want to be my "baby" anymore. so enjoy it while you can. and i love woking up with him and our morning talks!!!

HI S.-
When my husband is traveling for work, my kids sleep with me as well. Right or wrong, I feel the same way as you - I'm more comfortable knowing they are really close if something happens. Like you, my kids sleep in their own beds just fine when Dad is home. I view this as a nice treat for them and me to compensate for Dad being gone.
L.

I am not a practicing co-sleeper, but I am definate that THERE IS NO PROBLEM with letting your kids sleep in your bed or your room!!! Most of the world lives that way. We westerners think that our kids are supposed to sleep in separate rooms, but it is a cultural thing. My kids do not sleep in my room. Once in awhile my sons will come in our room and sleep on the floor, but it is not a usual occurance. I hope that gives you some encouragement. Lastly, DO NOT LET OTHER PEOPLE DICTATE HOW YOU RAISE YOUR KIDS!!!!