Silly Vent - Who Should Sleep on the Couch?

When one of us is sick, coughing and keeping the other one up at night the one who is sick gets to stay in the bed. 1. b/c they need a good nights sleep 2. the bedroom door will close so the coughing, etc. doesn't wake up the kids 3. it's easier to wash the germy sheets than the couch cushions.

Sick person gets the bed, cause the more sleep they get, the faster they recover and stop coughing. :)

Have him put a THICK layer of Vicks all over the bottom of his feet and cover with cotton socks when he goes to bed...no more coughing and no one is on the couch! Good luck!!!

I would be on the couch.
Personally, when I'm sick, all I want is my bed. I'd give my DH the same courtesy.

I think the sick person should be in bed, being taken care of by thier loving spouse.

I second Mzkitty's recommendation...it really works!

I respectfully disagree with all those who say you should have taken the couch. I see it from your perspective..you were in bed first! You couldn't sleep on the couch at 9:30 cause coughing hubby was still awake and coughing. I think he should have taken the couch if he's going to be staying awake so late at night and disturb you when he finally decides to come to bed.

everybody works it out according to individual needs and preferences. in our case it's the cougher who gets up for the most part and heads to the couch. because my husband has to get up so early, sometimes i'll get up even if he's the sick one and let him have the bed so he can get a better rest, but generally whoever's coughing is already resigned to crappy sleep so takes the couch.
it requires a degree of consideration on both sides, though.
khairete
S.

My thought - He's the sick one - his butt should be in bed trying to recoup where he would be the most comfortable.
I would have been pissed too, but would have quickly made my way to the couch so I could get back to sleep.
L.

if you have a comfy couch - go to the couch yourself. If you don't? Give him some Nyquil to get rid of his cough. It's rude to not try and control your cough - married or no.

I was sick the week between Christmas and New Years - I slept on the guest bed some nights when I couldn't sleep or my coughing was bad.

In my opinion? the listener should be on the couch. the bed should comfortable and help him get he rest he needs. I would hope he would be that respectful to you when you are sick.

Whoever goes to bed first should get to stay in the bed.

I don't have to tell you to get a divorce. With an attitude like yours, the divorce will likely come in time.

My husband and I have a pretty crappy marriage over all. But even I would see to it that he has the bed when he's sick. It's a small price to pay to help him get well.

I understand your pain.... but he is the one who is sick. So he gets the bed and you get the couch. Or buy earplugs for yourself.

If you're not getting the help you need when you're sick, perhaps you need to ask for it, instead of assume that others know you need it. Instead of taking your anger & frustration out on a sick person.

There is so much condescension and hostility in your question and SWH. I don't think he is the one who needs an attitude adjustment.

The sick person gets the bed. PERIOD. It doesn't matter who does what, or who treats who like what. We should have empathy and care for people we LOVE. Perhaps, if there was more GIVE, he wouldn't just want to take. BOTH people have to give something. You can't be mad at him, for the very thing YOU do, as well.

this is why i have a guest room / sick room. The person that is sick should get the bed.

When hubby is sick, I sleep in the guest room until he's better and has washed all the bedding.

How about you go buy him some Delsym cough syrup to give him and you can both get some sleep in the same bed?

How would you feel if the roles were reversed?

My husband and I are both pretty respectful. Usually, who ever has the cold trudges downstairs to the couch to not wake the rest of the family. I don't expect him to, though. For us, it's more "let's not wake the kids" frame of mind.

Family Politics! As in... different with every family!!!

For myself...

- We have 1 bathroom and the bathroom is downstairs and bedrooms are upstairs: Stomach Flu gets the couch

- Coughing, etc.? I take the couch. I'm up late, and don't want to have to be quiet / not be able to come and go as I please (my "office" is the front porch), so I send sick folk upstairs to bed, and crash out downstairs.

In my mum's family the sick person takes the master (because the room is already infected) and the well person takes the guest room (they usually manage to avoid both people getting sick this way, about 4:5).

In my best friend's house, sick person takes the guest room.

In my brother's house, sick person takes the couch.

Totally depends on whatever "deal" is worked out under that roof. I know of no norm!

I think it depends. I have been the one coughing but was already in bed trying to sleep (miserable). If I woke up in a coughing fit, I have gotten up and went to the couch. On the other hand, if the sick one is already sleeping they should stay put and get better. In your case though it seems like he comes to bed after you are already sleeping and he is actively coughing. I would say that unless he wants to go to bed when you do (so you can sleep on the couch while he coughs in the bedroom) then he should stay on the couch.

My hubby is a super big baby when he is sick too. He's worse than the kids.

H&HMomma, I'm with you! Take your coughing sniveling self to the couch! I do! When do I get to be sick? Both of us work full time but when I'm sick I still have to cook dinner and taxi the kids around. When hubby is sick, stop the world! It's couch time for him all day and night. I'm really not a whiner and my hubby is the best but when grown men get sick it's like they revert back to childhood. Paleeze!!!

I would say the sick person should get pampered. I don't see hw you can be mad when he doesnt and then you don't. Mayeb you should care for him and he'll repay you next time. I think the logic of he doesn't so I won't is kind of childih in itself a tad...although I'm childish all of the time, so I'm not saying you're bad for it, J. human, but still treat him how you'd want to be treated. If you're a sahm and he works, he needs to be well to provide for you as well...but I guess that depends on how much work you have to do at home too. I'd still say the sick person gets the bed

I would see. He needs his rest to get well. The sleeping body has the resources to fight infection and do other things it is can't keep up with while we are awake and going 90 to nothing. So, he needs to get well. Deep sleep will help with that.

On the other hand, you also need your rest of you will end up getting what he has and it be much worse due to your body being long term run down.

So, one of you has to bite the bullet. I think who ever goes to bed last should take the couch. Or you could go to the doc and get some Tessalon pearls. they make the cough reflex relax and that stops the coughing. Pretty expensive but so worth the sleep. BUT, if there is congestion that needs to be coughed up so pneumonia or something can't happen coughing is needed.

http://www.webmd.com/drugs/drug-10992-Tessalon+Perles+Ora...

Re your SWH - Next time you get the flu, check into a hotel and sleep for a few days and make HIM stay home with the kids. This soldiering on thing of yours is just dumb (sorry)!

Original:
The one who can actually SLEEP laying on the couch...

My husband can sleep anywhere. He thinks he can't, but the man is snoring, for heaven's sake! I KNOW he's sleeping! On the other hand, I lay there and WISH I could sleep.

So if he can still sleep while he hacks away, he should be on the couch. If you cannot sleep on that couch no matter how tired you are, send HIM to the couch. The one who actually cannot sleep on the couch should stay in the bed...

So sorry for both of you, and hope he gets better soon for both of your sakes!

Dawn

First off, Live Bold, why are you so unkind and judgemental? It's totally un called for!

H., is your bedroom near the kids rooms? If so, then he should be on the couch. In our household we really work to be respectful of everyone. If my husband or I happens to be sick, the sick person often takes the couch because the well one HAS to be well rested to take care of the family.

And remember, just because one person says that you are headed for divorce for asking an honest question does NOT mean that it's true. Hang in there! I am currently running on almost ZERO sleep for the last few weeks so my heart goes out to you, and to your husband for being so sick.
It's always so frustrating for everyone when sleeplessness is involved!
Hugs!

Depends on the couch! Just kidding, I had the constant cough over the holidays, so I slept on the couch. It sort've depends though..my husband has to have everything PERFECT to be able to sleep at all, fan on, room cold and blackout dark, and me snoring beside him. I can sleep anywhere, anytime under just about any circumstances, so for us it works out for me to move so he can be rested. In return, he treated me like a princess and I hardly lifted a finger until I felt better. Good luck!

This kind of thing is so frustrating. My husband does things like this. He is currently going through a lot of pain due to arthritis. So he is up and down all night long. each time he gets up he turns on his nightlight, turns on the bathroom light and then makes noise in the bathroom (connected to our bedroom) then when comging back to bed always misjudges the stepstool to get in bed (we have a paul bunyon bed) he wakes me up at least 4 or 5 times a night. always says sorry in a sheepish voice. didn't mean to wake you up. I finally flipped out on saturday night. told him if he couldn't sleep to go not sleep in the guest room or on the couch in the family room. That I was trying to sleep and it was childish to keep waking me up. He slept in the other room last night. I had a full nights sleep. it was good. and yes if he is not able to sleep he should be on the couch.

In my house the couch isn't an option. We don't own one. We each figure out a way to make staying in the same bed for better or worse work for each of us. My husband is a house shaking snorer so I know your pain with the coughing. He is trying to recover from a cold he caught over the holiday and has a cough too. He takes his meds 1/2 hour before he lays down and gives me time to fall asleep first and it is all good. At least until he gets up to pee for the twentieth time LOL. We just make it work. He was traumatized from his first marriage so I am super sensative about this matter.

please girlfriend. pamper?
of course they get soup and some sympathy nods. what more should we give?
i know i am late but this is what we do. if he is sick (and usually it's him picking up germs) he sleeps on the couch for as long as he is sick. i sleep in my bed. if i am sick, i sleep in my own bed because i am afraid to sleep downstairs by myself, and even then he sleeps on the couch. btw, we think this is a great way to keep the germs and viruses contained and no one has hurt feelings.

If it's *just* a cough, he's not sick enough to be pampered. I've had a cough for a while, too, but it doesn't stop me from doing anything. Luckily for me, my husband can sleep through anything (because I, too, have coughed through the night - woken myself up, in fact, while he sleeps soundly).

Can you get some 33decibel rated earplugs? I know they help me when my husband snores like a locomotive (every night for 16 years until he started using a CPAP machine).

Give him some cough medicine, slather Vicks Vaporub on his feet and cover them with socks (an urban legend, supposedly, but my parents do this and SWEAR it works), and stick in those earplugs. If this fails and he still keeps you up, kick him to the couch. It won't end in divorce.

Why don't you just alternate? Seems like you are making this more of an issue than it needs to be.

He can ask his dr to give him cough med with codiene. It helps calm the cough while you are sleeping. I dont think anyone should sleep on the couch. Maybe earplugs?

I always end up on the couch. Does not bother me because I absolutely
love my couch. Very comfy so really not an imposition.

My husband gripes at me about this. I don't typically snore, I "click." For some reason, he'll randomly wake up in the night and then not be able to go back to sleep because of my clicking or (if I'm sick) snoring and whatever other noises I make.

However, when my daughter was a newborn and screaming at all hours of the night as I was trying to get the hang of breastfeeding and recover from a c-section, I slept on the couch or in the twin bed in her room or in the guest bed to avoid disturbing him.

When I can help it, when I can do something about it, I don't sleep in the bed. However, if I'm sick and he can't stay asleep because of it, he can go somewhere else and not disturb me while I'm getting my rest to get better.

Depends.

Many times if one of us is sick, the sick one gets the bed to sleep better and the other one goes to the couch. If the sick one can't sleep but wants to watch TV, then the sick one leaves.

It depends on who is going to have the tougher day the next day. I mean, he IS sick, and sick people need to recuperate. If he is just going to lay in bed today while you go to work and/or take care of the kids, then I think he should have been the one on the couch, since he would be in bed today.

But if he is going to have the harder day today, then you should be on the couch.

I agree w/ Stephanie H. If hubby is sick he'll get the bed. Easier to confine it to our room than the whole house. However if I go to bed before him, unless I tell him otherwise - like wake me up to move to the couch - i'd be aggravated too if he came to bed coughing and woke me. In this case he needs to go to bed before me. Then we won't have a problem. But he's usually pretty good at taking medicine he knows will help him, to nip it before it gets too bad. Sorry to say they all are babies when they get sick. And we are suppose to be super moms when we are sick. I have no sympathy if he doesn't try to get better on his own.

LOL sounds like my house. It's always me sleeping on the couch when he's keeping me up when he's sick. I somewhat feel he's the one that should be sleeping on the couch but on the other hand he's the sick one and he should be comfortable. The couch isn't too bad and I'm short enough to fit in it and he's too tall for it. So I feel like it's not big deal.

Sick person gets the bed (Unless they'll sleep better and cough less in the recliner!)

Make him take some meds and put Vicks and warm socks on his feet before he sleeps, no matter where he decides to sleep!)

I can totally relate. I had bronchitis before Christmas--and moved to the couch so I wouldn't wake hubby with my coughing. He now has a terrible cold with a cough--and I'm the one on the couch again. Just doesn't seem fair....

Hang in there--this, too, shall pass (that is, until the next time)! :)