My children always fight with one another. They push, kick and pulling hair all the time when they fight over a toy or a things that they own. How can I stop them from fighting?
Take away the toy continue to this till there are no more toys.. Hee, hee..
Tell them they are not allowed to play with each other. That will make them want to play with each other. Reverse psychology.
You didn't mention how old they are, but my kids are 2, 4, &5, when they are nasty to eachother I make them hug & say sorry or i love you.
I had 2 toddlers once who loved each other as they grew up they fought a lot.Boy and a Girl although they were not physically violent, I always separated them..Immediately! De Fuse the whole Situation.. And let them cool off..and isolate them as well..Go to your Bedrooms until Dinner is ready.. Even if it's 3 hours away! Consequences for Bad behavior....Rewards for Good..
I always rolled over when my brother and I were very small - we're 2 years apart. And my younger brother and I never argued - we're 4 years apart. So, I'm no help for the younger ages. But, as we got older and argued, one thing my father always told us, and I am thankful for this advice today, is the following: Stop arguing because the time will come when all you have is each other. We still have both of our parents, and this year we'll be 42, 40 and 36. I do think that we have healthy adult relationships, at least in part due to this advice.
Here's my advice on it from another post..it's solid advice that has worked for me. And i'm starting my kids VERY YOUNG. There is little to no problems with my kids on a daily basis now. i say 98% of the time, they are good as gold with each other. And i continue to emphasize patience and kindness...these two main words every chance i get - to teach my oldest about how to be with others in this world. i'm very grateful that it has worked, and i hope it will for you. but know that you have to continually keep it up......and keep your kids accountable/follow through...and you will see the changes. And constant reminder of good virtues they should hold in their hearts like patience and kindness. i remind my daughter daily. and I thank her for her patience and kindness...
I don't know, when you figure it out let me know!
Your children need to learn to love others. You are the best person to start that ball rolling. Make sure you demonstrate openly a healthy loving parental relationship. Your children will take their cue from you. Give you children lots of hugs, kisses and verbally say, "I love you." to each one individually. Do it daily and often. Encourage your children to touch each other in loving ways. Hugging, snuggling during a movie, etc. Reward them verbally for being loving. Say, "I am SO proud of you for being so kind!" "Good job, so and so, that was very nice of you." Make sure there are CLEAR and SWIFT consequences for being mean. Be absolute in your discipline. If you say, "NO TV" then that means "NO TV!!!!" etc, etc.
When they are not fighting, come up with problem solving strategies on what to do and this may have to happen individually. Our family shares toys and doesn't really "own" anything. If a child is too rough with it, they will not get to play with it for a given time period. If they can not come up with a way to share, they need to come to the parent for help. Rock, paper, scissors or flip a coin, to see who plays first and each can play for a set amount of time. Maybe they will be able to figure it out on their own after you give them the tools.
just take everything off them until they can behave and share there toys with each other
I only have 1 toddler so I couldn't tell you how to survive that situation, but what's done in daycare- usually each child gets 15-20 minutes to play with a toy, computer, puzles whatever and then they rotate.
You can teach them to take turns and use a kitchen timer in the begining while teaching them to take turns. If someone is not sharing or trying to take a toy away then time out is appropriate.
My son lately will just get aggresive and start to throw toys at me so I send him to time out (3 minutes for 3 yr old and so forth) I tell him what he did wrong and to apologize. In one day I think he had close to 10 time outs. It works slowly just stick to it.
I hope this helps you. My sister and I fought a lot when growing up. Then we grew closer and fought less as we got older so not to worry.
When we were little & would fight the first thing my mom would do (once we were past the point of working it out on our own) was take the toy away. If we couldn't play with it nice we didn't play with it. Second was a time-out. We had to sit & think about what we did wrong. Then third and the killer for the kids was that we had to say we were sorry, tell the other we loved them and give eachother a big hug & kiss. LOL! Of course we still fought and I think all kids do but having concrete consequences in place helped. Good luck!
Try the book, Siblings without Rivalry...
Put them on a behavior chart - incentive to earn something for positive behavior
How old are they??
Mine fight alot. But it has now progressed to not exactly fighting together as it is telling on each other for every teensy tiny offense. "Mom, she did this to me!" "Mom, he did this to something or another" all day. I have now resolved to if they are going to tattle (unless something that is going to hurt someone or something) they are to only tattle on THEMSELVES. Now when theys start the "Mom he did..." I ask them "are you telling on yourself?" they say "NO" then I say, "well then, I don't want to hear it."
I do not make the child feel unimportant. I also tell them to work it out between each other. The past few days since I have started that, ah. A lot better. (by the way, most of the tattlings are things that they wouldn't get in trouble for anyway, but the tattler wants sibling to be in trouble) Sibling rivalry. Great isn't it?
We don't allow our children to fight with one another. I don't like strife to destroy our home. Try this book: Making Brothers and Sisters Best Friends: How to Fight the Good Fight at Home
By: Grace Mally, Stephen Mally, Sarah Mally
read "Siblings without Rivalry" author Adele Faber
Rent a DVD from the library called "1, 2, 3 magic".
