Setting Chrismas Budget

My parents used to give $100 dollars a piece, then they went to $50. They are now concerned that they need to cut back, due to retirement next year. The monetary amount has never been an issue for us, it is a gift.We are grateful just to be together as a family and we understand their need. I hope that this helps.

My family decided to stop all of the hectic gift giving. We now only buy gifts for the kids. It actually started when my mom died (who did all the shopping and dad just paid the bills). My father came to the much needed realization that he doesn't know how to shop, especially for that many people. He made the rule that we only shop for the kids (my daughter and my nieces and nephews.) So now instead of shopping for 16 people he shops for 6 grandkids. It completely cut not only the costs by a mile but also the stress level. I cheat though. I give cash. Good luck.

Hi K.,
Well what we did with my Husbands family. We drew names on Thanksgiving. And spent no more then 20.00 on the gift. That was for the grown ups.
There were only 2 little kids so everyone just got for them.

There was 4 kids with spouses so there were 8 of us drawing names.
My Husbands Mom and Dad didn’t get in on the name drawing just there Kids and wives. They always got us a little something and then give each family Money.
Then all the girls got a home made gift from me.
Good Luck and have fun with it.

These are all great ideas. You can also make your money go a lot further by checking out websites like DealsofAmerica.com and slickdeals.net. All the retailers are cutting prices, and many items are marked way down. I found these websites from a story MSN.com did on saving money.

I just bought my son a wireless weather forecaster that is normally 34.99 for 12.99 and I found the deal there. If you don't like buying online from the links, they also let you know when stores like Macy's, Kohls, Toys R Us and Sears have great sales.

As I get older, I am becoming more and more appreciative of personal gifts from my grandparents and the time I get to spend with them. I would love to receive copies of their favorite books, pictures of them as children and with their parents, a letter with special memories you have of time spent with them and your hopes for their futures, the baskets or boxes someone mentioned with homemade bread and jam or cookies (my grandma gave my husband and I a box of breads that we could freeze and jams for our wedding, it was wonderful while it lasted!), which I think would also be especially appreciated by college students. My grandparents recently have started giving us about $100 each Christmas, which is greatly appreciated and was completely unexpected when it started happening, but as a busy mom (and even before kids as a busy worker)I would be VERY happy to receive a frozen turkey or ham or some frozen casseroles instead that I could prepare myself when I need and want a good meal! I think anything thoughtfully and lovingly prepared from you would be appreciated and I bet they won't even notice the difference in price (unless of course you've been giving cash/check, but even then I think they will still not notice the difference in cost, but appreciate the love). It sounds as if your grandkids are really reaching that age when they become more and more appreciative of their family and roots and anything from your heart will touch theirs!

My parents started a present for the grandkids (9 of them) when the oldest was about 14 and was getting a fridge in his room for Christmas. We now lovingly call it the "Survivor Box". My parents get a box for each grandkid and fill it with soda, water, juice and snacks including chips, candy, and fresh fruit. The kids usually give a list of their favorite snacks and drinks at Thanksgiving and look forward to it by Christmas. They always got the grandkids the Survivor box and a present.
My mom passed away 3 years ago, so Dad wanted to trim down Christmas last year. He gave all the grandkids a choice between a present or the survivor box. Every single kid picked the survivor box. My oldest nephew is now 22 and engaged and was upset last year that he had to share his survivor box with his fiancee. Even my daughter, who was 3 weeks old last Christmas, got a survivor box with formula and diapers.
For the adults in the family, we always draw names so we only have to buy for 1 person and can splurge a little more on the kids. For extended family (aunts, uncles, adult cousins) we usually exchange baked goods such as cookies, bread, or desserts.

Hi K.,
As a grandkid about to have a great grandkid I know that as i've gotten older I appreciate something given to me by my grandma. She has started to give me things she wants to pass down to me. Probably 2 of my most favorite things are 2 magnets that she has given me. One is a mouse that was at my great grannies house that i used to play with on the stove and fridge. The other is a homemade snoopy. Both mean the world to me and I would rather have something like that any day. If I have a girl then i'm sure that soon I will be getting dolls that I used to play with at her house. If you feel that money is an easy way to go trust me.....all grandkids still appreciate $20-$25. I always tell my grandma what I bought with the money. Even if it is new hardwood floors for the kitchen. :) As for my parents.....we started drawing names and put a $75 limit on the gift giving. Then everyone has to submit a list of items they want. We also do a white elephant gift exchange which always ends up in roars of laughter. My parents still do stockings for all people in the immediate family (15 of us) and all of us grown kids get a "Santa Clause" present. Even if we cut out the "Santa" present it would be plenty and we always have such a good time. Hope this helps!

On my Dad's side, only the great grandkids draw each other names, the rest of the familes just buy stocking gifts for each person, around a $1 or so(there are easily 40 of us?. On my Mom's side, my parents, myself and 2 kids, my brother and his wife are the only ones who show up. (My Uncle, Aunt, Cousin her hubby and kiddo live out of state) So my Grandparents buy my kiddos a couple nice medium-big gifts, buy them $50 saving bonds, and then they give my brother, his wife, me, and my parents usually around $50 each to buy our own gifts. We of course buy each of my Grandparents a gift as well on both sides. Hope that helps!

My mom and my step dad usually give the couples a gift and the grandkids maybe one or two gifts each. We only have three grandkids in our family so it's pretty easy.

When I was growing up, my extended family (aunts, uncles, grandparents) gave gifts up to a certain age. On my mom's side it was through age 16, on my dad's it was through age 21. This included both Christmas and birthdays. Now that we're adults, we draw names for an optional gift exchange (I do have a brother who opts out) with a $25 limit. We're actually considering opting out next year, not for budget reasons but because it's difficult buying for that one uncle, or your cousin-in-law, whose name you drew for the third year in a row! But that's a whole different gift-giving issue now, isn't it? Good luck!

I know this won't help much this Christmas, but my mother and father-in-law just had their 35th grandchild! So last year my sister-in-law and I took my mother-in-law after Christmas shopping. We were able to get almost everyone's Christmas presents for under $5 or $10 each...and they were nice gifts too. i.e. Old Navy: those poofy vests for her teenage grandsons (in black, camo, brown, etc.); cute dresses for some younger granddaughters, etc. We got lots of those packets that are sold at places like Wal-Mart and Target that have lotion and lip balm and other body care products for her 9 daughters and daughter-in-laws....It turned out really great and we found some really nice stuff for not very much. We just figured out how old everyone would be by this Christmas and thought what they might like by then. Hope this helps for another Christmas.
Have a good one!

Hi K.,
Looks like you got alot of great responses but I thought I would tell you what our family does. We draw names grandparents included, for adults and for kids (high school and younger). $25.00 for adults and $15.00 for kids and my Dad gives all his grandchildren $50.00 cash which they all love but my favorite was giving the younger kids a special day with grandpa and grandma to there favorite spot like the zoo, magic house, etc. Just remember its not about the amount its about something special for each child.

Good Luck

my parents have 9 grandkids and spend $25-30.00 each for the grandkids and the adult kids and their spouses which totals 15 people.
We (the siblings) just buy for the kids and have a 15.00 limit and buy gifts for Mom and Dad. We don't buy the adults gifts except on their birthdays and then is a 20.00 limit. My parents have never made a lot of money but have managed to spend that much for each person for Christmas and the family is happy to spend time together and truthfully with everyone giving them gifts or money they end up with a lot of stuff and can be overwhelming for little kids to the point that they won't play with half of the stuff they get and because of getting so much at once, my husband and I spend more on our kids for their birthdays (100.00 each) to make their day special and spend about 50.00 each for Christmas and they seem happy and content with the gifts they receive and they are teenagers now.

Hi K. - well, I'm not a grandma, but can pretty well speak for my mom. We draw names (Dad/Mom/sisters) and set a dollar amount (usually like $30 to see how good we can bargain shop). Then with the money we would have spent by buying everyone gifts, we buy toys for toys for tots, or some other charity. My mom has 4 grandchildren, all under 5. I'd say she spends probably $50-75 on them, but she starts buying things in September...she already has my boys done. Another thing that she enjoys is going to thrift shops and second hand stores (oh, and craigslist)...you can get some great deals on gently used things and I'd rather be able to 'recycle' some toys. Hope that helps!
R.

K.,
I think setting a Christmas budget is a must for everyone.
It is really sad that Christmas has been blown so far out of proportion, no one is supposed to sink themselves into debt or should have to feel guilty about cutting back. Christmas isn't supposed to be "what do we get?" Last Christmas I started a new tradition of reading the story of Jesus's birth so that my children could maybe start remembering why we had Christmas to begin with. You can still give really nice thoughtful gifts without going over board. I think it is nice to receive a gift from someone that you know has really put a lot of thought into it. One of my favorite gifts I have received from my mom is a basket full of different bottles of bubble bath and body wash. It is just one of the things I love but just don't usually buy for myself and she knows that.
Gift certificates for a family to go out to eat together or even gift certificates to a movie theatre are nice. My family gives some of the more difficult men in the family a small box of candy ( store bought or sometimes home made ) and gift certificates to Best Buy, and I have even bought my daughter who only just turned 8 a gift certificate to the book store...she had a lot of fun choosing her very own books.
When I was younger I made some personalized gift certificates...to babysit for family members, to prepare a meal and even to do some different cleaning chores that I knew my mom didn't like doing. I really think it is the thought that counts. Some of the things that have become most dear to me were not store bought but family heirlooms that were passed down to me when they thought I was old enough to appreciate them, and also family pictures. Don't discount the worth of your family history, you could buy some nice bound journals and put your family tree on the first page and then on the following pages compose a brief family history then leave the rest of the journal blank to be chronicled by the family member you have given it to.

Just some ideas. I hope they help.
Merry Christmas!
B.

In my husband's family, we buy for those children that are still children - we buy for our nieces and nephews (only have 2, tho) and for our 7 grandkids. My mother-in-law, my sister-in-law, my daughter and I all fix up Christmas baskets with hand soaps, dish towels and other inexpensive but neat items and then we exchange the baskets. We leave it up to the guys as to what they do. 5 of our grandkids live in another state, so we usually just send each of them a $25.00 gift card. I know what you mean about going overboard - nowdays you can't afford everything like you used to! Good luck!

I would think that whatever you spend would, and should, be appreciated by all your grandkids. Just the fact that you are thinking of them should be enough. We are all feeling the crunch this year. My kids have never expected a lot from their grandparents. They know that they have others to buy for. I wouldn't spend more than $20 on each. They don't need to know how much you did or didn't spend on them. Hope that helps some. Good luck and God Bless.
P.S. My grandma, God rest her soul, quit buying for me when I turned 21. You know, I was okay with that. I knew she didn't have enough money to buy me things. A card was great!

Hi, We have never given that much to anyone. We couldn't afford it. What really matters is that it is given from the heart. I feel that if we were to over do it. it would take away from the true meaning of Christmas. We are grandparents to 4 girls and 4 boys and another boy due in Feb. If you would like a place that is having awesome sales at this time, go to Brookstone.com. You can pick up your purchases at their distrubution center located in Mexico, MO.
Good Luck and have a MERRY AND BLESSED CHRISTMAS!!

My husband's grandmother is 93. Although I have no idea how much she gives her 2 remaining kids and their spouses, I do know that she gives her grandkids $100 (that is for both the grandchild and their spouse combined), then she writes checks to all of the grandkids for the amount of $15 per great grandchild so that the parents can buy them a present that the child will actually like/want and we wrap it for her and bring it to the party. Of course, most of the older greatgrandchildren are more interested in either the $15 cash or a gift certificate. There are now great great grandchildren in the mix as well and my guess is they are getting the $15 as well.

My father used to give me (as an only child) $200 cash for X-mas and some kind of gift, my husband $100 and a small gift and my kids $50 each (as a limit for presents).

My grandmother when she was alive used to give each of her children $200, their spouse $100, and each grandchild $25 but then she passed on before there were any great grandchildren.

I think it is also important that you let your family know that this is going to occur ahead of time. Even though this is a gift (and not a god-given right they will be receiving the money) many will already have it spent or budgeted for when you give it to them. They should know ahead of time that there will be a change (they don't need to know what it is until they get it) but it gives them time to readjust their thinking. Perhaps now is the time to look at how the entire family also does presents...I know our families have gone completely over the top and we've had to bow out due to finanical strain ($25/per person + a second $25/person exchange for a present stealing game) and that was for BOTH families!!! I've always thought it better to give than to receive, why not adopt a family for X-mas and everyone contribute to that? You could not only buy them presents and clothes but food, gas, oil change or help with utilities...just a thought. Good luck!

I am not a Grandma yet, but what would be wrong about name drawing or maybe a gift card of $20. I use to be in a family of 12 kids and the mother in law would exchange gifts by having each one draw names. I hope this might help.
A mother of 2, but daughter wanted to live with her dad at the age of 15.

Our family has done different things over time. One of my favorite strategies was that we did a secret Santa for those over the age of 18, anyone could buy for kids under 18.

For a long time, I only bought for kids under 18, but as time went on we didn't have any under 18s so I bought for the college kids.
Now, I have a commemmorative Christmas decoration that I buy the "older" ladies. We have under 18s now, so I buy for them, but I don't think I spend $20 per kid.

Bottom line though is that you need to do what you are financially comfortable doing. Figure out how much you are COMFORTABLE spending. You always have the option of not spending ANYTHING! One of my family told me already not to buy her anything because she wasn't getting me anything. That's fine with me. I did tell her if I saw something that just screamed that it was for her, I was going to get it for her, but I don't EVER buy gifts just for the fact that I have to give gifts.

If you don't exchange on your husband's side, tell your side you are not going to exchange with them. You don't need to explain yourself.

Hi K.! I am a grandma and I was reflecting back on how my husband's and my parents have handled gift giving to their grandkids. As the all of the kids in the family have gotten older, the emphasis on the gifts at Christmas has lessened and more emphasis has been placed on just spending time together and celebrating the true meaning of Christmas. We are finding this true as our own sons grown into adulthood and now we have little grandkids of our own. It's not about the gifts. Do what you can comfortably do for your grandkids and spend time enjoying each other as family during this season.

i know you are kind of looking for fellow grandmas, but i just have to say that i SO WISH my grandparents had ever spent $100 on us! lol. i am the oldest of 11 grandkids and i don't remember them ever spending more than maybe $20 on each of us grandkids. now it's more like five or ten. we never EVER felt unloved. but they are probably older than you, so maybe it's a generational thing. just be honest with people. why on earth would your loved ones begrudge you at christmas? they should understand - the family is just getting too big. that's not what it's about at all. i hope they wouldn't give you a hard time about it, it wouldn't be very much in the holiday spirit. good luck!

I have a 16 month old son and we actually didn't buy him a gift for his first birthday, instead we started a savings account for him. To me, $100 seems excessive. We want him to grow up knowing he is loved and have him become a good citizen, husband and father some day. That's more important to us than having him place value on material items. My favorite holiday memories, as I look back now, are of the times my family was together. Perhaps your family could start drawing numbers? Or one of my good friends has a family that plays musical presents and they have a blast...the key is that each person brings one gift and they spend no more than $20. The memories will be just as grand even if it doesn't cost $1000. We also like to donate to a foodbank each year and give goods to ship to soldiers.

Hi K.- My family had decided instead of doing gifts for each other we would adopt a family. It is alot of fun. This year the budget is $40 for child. So the family we adopted has two kids and a mom so we just spend $120. (my family is really big so this year we adopted 3 families) My sister is 13 and she loves to go shopping for the other family. After we get all the gifts we meet at my grandma's house for a Christmas dinner and wrap all the presents. It is so nice to know we are helping someone in need. My mom still does stockings for us and just adds things like fun socks, gum, candy etc. Good luck!

Okay, one more response to you, K..

Keep the spending limit within your budget. I know some people just like to give gifts, but they don't have to be expensive ones. Simple, heartfelt ones work the best. There is too much emphasis on the gift giving. It would be fun to go and serve the less fortunate as a big family group around Christmas to help put that in perspective. Go help at a homeless shelter, gather toys and clothing for kids in need, etc. I need to start doing this w/ my 4 yr old this year.

My grandma is 92 and she always used to buy all her kids, their spouses and the grandkids a gift every Christmas besides have a name exchange. It became to much and everyone agreed to stop the name exchange....but to my dismay Grandma still buys gifts for everyone and everyone buys gifts for Grandma. That's when she decided to just send $20 per person home with them at Thanksgiving and have them (or their parent) choose their gift, wrap it and bring it to Christmas at Grandma's house. A friend of mine liked the idea and decide to just take her grandkids (they are mostly teens) shopping for their Christmas gifts. That way she can still approve of the gift chosen but doesn't have to guess at what they will want or like.

Have a blessed, less expensive, less stressful Christmas!
J.

My Father-in-Law has a very fair way of doing the gift thing in our family. Without fail, he sends $100.00 to his children on birthdays and $50.00 to his childrens spouses and to the grandkids. He sends $200.00 to each family at Christmas. He usually asks us to buy gifts from him at Christmas. Last year we split the cash between the kids and let them buy what they did not get for Christmas that they wanted. He lives out of town so it works out great for us.

When we get together with both of my sets of grandparents, we don't give gifts to everyone. My mom and my aunt (the grandmas to the little ones) go in together and get the kids a bag each with a bunch of little things in it. Last year they had coloring books and crayons with a little toy (about 5 to 10 bucks each) in their bags. There are 6 great grandbabies and the grandmas combine to get those gifts. Not sure why they do it instead of us parents, but that is what they told us was how it was going to be once we added babies 3, 4, 5 and 6 in one year! Then, for the adults we all go out and buy one gift. Each woman buys a gift and each man buys a gift. The cap on those is $25. Then, we play a game. I am sure you have heard of it. The women play and the men play their own. The rules are simple. Everyone gets a number drawn from a hat. Number 1 goes first. She picks a gift and unwraps it. Number 2 can steal hers or pick a new one to unwrap. If she steals, Number 1 can go get another one. If there are others unwrapped, she may steal one of those, but there are no steal backs. i.e. she cannot take back what was just stolen from her. It is fun and we all get something but we all only spend $25/person. We don't all like the same things, so we do our best to buy generic (there are 3 generations playing this game). I LOVE it this way. It is cheaper for us and we get to play and have fun.

With my other family, we just draw names. Not that much fun, but we spend the same money and we try to find out what the person actually wants :) plusses and minuses to everything.

Dear K.,

My husband's family is very large and their solution was to draw names at Thanksgiving. That way everyone got at least one present at Christmas. We have also done a White Elephant gift exchange for the adults only. The kids always get gifts from everyone until they are 18 and then they join the adult gift exchange.

On my side of things our extended family has agreed to only give gifts to the children. We still exchange gifts in the immediate family. A couple of years back my brother did ask that we give gifts only to the kids and not to him and his wife. He was in nursing school and money was tight, so they stopped giving birthday and Christmas presents to the adults in the family. Once he got a job and money was not an issue they started giving presents to everyone again.

I think the trick is really knowing your own family and what would seem reasonable to them. Then just tell them what your thoughts and feelings on the subject are and see what they say. When my Cousin brought up giving gifts to only the kids it was a big relief to everyone. She had just become a Grandmother and her budget was getting really tight trying to buy everyone a present. She brought the subject up on Christmas Eve after the presents for that year had been opened.

Hope this helped,

J. N.

I have a HUGE extended family. What we do is name draw for a 20-25 dollar "Secret Santa" gift for the adults (anyone out of highschool) and buy small gifts for kids only.

It sounds like you have a lot of older grandkids, which they would understand more of today's economy. I personaly would let everyone know that budget this year is $50 or even $25 a person this year. I would also suggest as a family to buy for a child in need. I also suggest maybe doing some sort of craft project to help bring everyone together instead of opening gifts time. My husband's side of the family is doing NO gifts this year, and making a game night instead & everyone is actually excited. & Then, I personally have asked my family not to buy us adults anything this year and to not spend more than $10.00 each on my kids (3, 14 & 18). They were all actually very open to this and were GLAD that I brought it up. We are then going to make holiday ornaments and exchange them.

Hello...I am another Grandma on here...a first time grandma here...getting ready to celebrate our grandsons first birthday soon!!!
I think that in today's financial times that all of us are cutting back and really THINKING before we spend money!!! I have always been the same way you have...going WAY overboard at Christmas...really piling the gifts HIGH under the tree!! The mother of my grandson is really the one who has told me that she wants to "simplify" holidays...she doesnt want her son to think that Christmas and other times is just all about gifts. So this year I am really putting a lot of thought into each gift that I get...I am limiting myself to 4 gifts per person...and trying to make each one really meaningful. Our family has always emphasized the true meaning of Christmas...Christ's birth...the ultimate gift to mankind...but this year...I am going to DE-EMPHASIZE the earthly giving part of it too!!! I think if you continue the traditions that are a part of your family celebration...the cookie baking...carol singing, tree trimming... and emphasize that then Christmas will be much more meaningful to you, your husband and your entire family!!!
God Bless You

We are changing things this year as grandparents too. We decided to go with $25 per person & are giving the $ to the moms to purchase the gifts from us. My husbands parents did that years ago. Most of the years they would send us a check for $20 per person, but on lean years they sent $10 per person. My children never cared how much. They just knew that 1 of the gifts under the tree was from Grandma & Grandpa. It's so hard to know what to buy for each of them anymore, that we figure the parents know what they have, what they need & what they want. It's up to them to decide if it's clothes or toys. I'm sure the amount will change thru the years too. When we retire we will likely have to drop that amount too. But I agree with what everyone else says. I know that all my grandchildren (7 1/2) know that I love them & that has nothing to do with the gifts received but the love. Hopefully they will understand the same thing about Christmas. It really isn't about the gifts, but about the Savior.

Hi K.! Well I know exactly where you are comming from. We have way overspent on the kids and grandkids for years and this year we have explained to everyone we are cutting way back. For different reasons, My husband and I are very blessed to have good jobs but he would like to retire in about 3 years and I am 10 years younger so needless to say I won't have that luxury quite in 3 but we know we need to cut back now! 4 kids with significant others and 10 grandkids ranging from 16 to 3....well do the math. New rule this year for us is if you are over the age of 9 you are getting a gift card to your favorite store. I always request a wish list from them and keep in mind they all know the true meaning of Christmas we have just always enjoyed giving along with adopting a family at Christmas and donating to Harvestors. But this year where ever their requsts are from they will get a $50 gift card or 2 $25 gift cards from 2 places, and we are not doing stockings this year. My gosh those things add up!! I have already bought little baskets at Hobby Lobby and for the grown kids I am putting in them a couple of gift cards, a couple of candles, some body lotion or scented soaps and some choclates. Each Couple gets a basket and each kiddo gets a basket, we have 4 grandaughters alone that are 16,15,13, and 12, they will probably get gift cards to Old Navy or Gap and nail polish, perfume or earings. You save time not going from store to store, they get to pick exactly what they want, it will be cheaper at an after Christmas sale, a bunch less wrapping and less stress for you!! On the little ones, We have 2 that are 3, 1 that is 4, they will be getting a couple of books, a stuffed animal and one toy wrapped, and the one 8 and two 9 year olds will be a toss up between gift cards or games. But we will be spending much less. Good luck to you!!

I am trying to implement gifts only for children unless it is something you have made or pictures. That should cut down a lot. How often do you struggle with what to buy each person and how "they can buy anything they want so they don't need anything". Just give to the kids. And I buy most everything off craigslist. 1/4 of the price and most is practically new anyway. If anyone is picky about getting a "used" present then they shouldn't get any.

My parents have 6 kids, 5 kid-in-laws and as of right now 9 grand kids. A few years back they decided to get each person (sometimes couple if they had a good idea for the couple) one present, and not worry so much that they spent the same on each person, just that they got something they liked for each person. Everyone who spends the night there on Christmas eve does stockings for each other. The rest of us do different things depending on who gets and idea and tells us what to do. Last year we drew names, kids and adults alike. This year we're doing some crazy concoction that my sister came up with. Also, for years we did white elephant, but it got out of hand and my mom got sick of people leaving their stuff at her house. Now whoever wants to does a book exchange. Anyway, presents are still overwhelming for the kids, there is still a ton of stuff, but they mostly want to play with each other, they don't need so many toys!

K.

Hi K.
I come from a family of 7 kids, and now that we are all married and most of us have kids, there is no way we expect each other (or our parents) to give gifts to everyone! What we do is this: All adults draw the name of another adult, and each child draws the name of another child. My parents are included in on this, so they are not expected to to buy for EVERYONE. However, they do give each couple a small amount of money, but the amount is up to you. And we each pitch in on bringing something to contribute to the Christmas meal. Makes it more affordable for everyone. Good luck & Happy Holidays!

My parents have given a magazine subscription for years. My husband's parents have varied from nothing, to homemade goodies, to presents for the grandkids only, to presents for their child only. (Go figure!) The grandkids on my side (more than 40!) got money--most years between $3 and $15.

In our immediate family of 10, we have had the kids and spouses draw names ($20 limit for the gifts,) and my husband and I have given gift cards or presents to the adult kids ranging from $30 -$50.

This year we are not exchanging names as our adult children are feeling strapped and my husband and I are needing to cut back as well. Our children under 18 years old will still get presents, but we are cutting our spending about in half.

Hi K., I am a granny! Actually Nana. My mom is in your exact situation and we discussed drawing names for the adults (18 and over)she always goes overboard to. We will of course just buy a few things for the kids because Christmas is for the kids. Right?? I have been begging my mom to cut back. This is the year to start that is for sure! We draw at Thanksgiving and figure out your limit! Good luck,
Nana J.

In our large family,for the adults, we buy a general gift if you are a female then you buy a female gift and the same goes for the men, and make sure the gifts are labeled.
Then we put all the gifts in the middle of the floor and draw numbers. We play "rob your neighbor" #1 picks a gift, # 2 can steal or pick from the pile,# 3 can choose from either 1 or 2 or the pile. This goes on til the last number is done(usually around 12 for us).
It is so fun and everybody tries to make their bag/present the most enticing( an ornament,lottery tickets,..on the outside).
To make this fair, we have made a rule that no one can open their gift till the very end and limited the amount of steals per person because else you could be trading gifts all night.
That way there is no pressure to buy for everyone and everyone gets to open something.
I usually buy something I would like to recieve and we do put a $20 limit.

Everybody also helps bring an appetizer/dessert and we play card games throughout the afternoon. A great way to see and catch up with all the aunts, cousins .... that you don't get to see often.

As for the immediate family there is only 3 kids so we being adults buy each other gifts every other year. So one year I will buy for my older brother and the next year the younger
brother.( Kind of like oldest to youngest or youngest to oldest, #1 buys for #2 ,#2 buys for #3 and #3 buys for #1.)
Hope this isn't to confusing.
My Mom buys all the kids a pair of pj's and another gift. She also fills a stocking for all of us, even the adults look forward to seeing what is in our stockings.

If you are Christian, you could reading the Christmas story before gifts are opened and baking a special cake and singing "Happy Birthday to Jesus". Try to refect on the true meaning of Christmas.

I'll bet you get a lot of responses to this. I've also always done more for my side of the family than my husband's. I am a fairly new grandma of one 19-month old boy. I have two sons-one married and one getting married next summer to his long-time girlfriend. I am cutting back this year and I just told all of them to give me ideas and that I was spending about $50 each on them. They are all adults and know how tough things are today. I do plan to continue my annual tradition of giving each couple a Hallmark ornament. I have three siblings and we've always given our parents gifts, and the kids when they were young (all are grown now). I'm planning to let my siblings know that this year I don't plan to give to adults other than my dad and my own kids. I will probably give boxes of home made cookies and candies to each family. My parents have never had a lot of money to spend on Christmas so several years ago they started giving each family a set of towels. It's kind of a family joke now, "Gee, I wonder what we got from Dad this year??" A Christmas movie is a fairly inexpensive gift that a family can enjoy together, perhaps with a popcorn treat. If your family members are in tune with current financial times, surely they will understand if you just let them know you plan to spend less this year. Best of luck and Merry Christmas!

Hi,

I just wanted to suggest that if you are going to scale back this year to explain this to the family early like now instead of closer to Christmas.

My parents buy us gift cards to QT and Schnucks..This is a great thing since we have a tight budget currently.

Was not sure from your post if you give each member $100.00 check/cash or buy presents that total that amount. You should decide what you can give comfortably.

My grandma sends a unique card (shows we're still special) and it says that she has made a donation to a charity instead of giving gifts. I thinks its great. Ultimately kids have plenty of people to get presents from and if your getting into great grandkids or anything like that there are way too many people to be "obligated" to. Its great to donate to a children's charity, plus its tax deductible so you can still give generously, feel good about being of the giving season, and let your family know that its given on their behalf as well. Good luck with what you decide.

I have three sets of grandparents
My moms parents died when I was a teeneager... I don't remember what they did, they never had a lot of money for gifts, Im thinking they got a gift for each person (my mom was an only child with 3 kids, so it wasn't to bad)

My dads mom died last year, but she used to give each person $25.00

My stepdads parents give their kids & spouse $1000.00 together(they gave them a raise about 10 years ago, used to be $100.00 for kid and $100.00 for spouse), grand kids $50.00 and great grand kids $25.00

My real dad gives us kids (there are two of us) plus spouse $100.00 each, Grandkids $50.00 (or a gift up to $100)

and my stepdad last year (first year since mom died) gave each family $250.00 for my family that broke down to $50.00 each. For my older sister (no kids) was $125.00 each and my little sister (4 kids) $41.66 each

As for myself...I am not a grandma yet...but each family unit does what works for them. Little sis does a lot of homemade gifts and my older sis spends about $20.00 to $25.00 on each person.
I have 2 sisters, (the older one has no kids, and the younger one has 4)
For my family...hubby and I don't really exchange gifts, when he gets his bonus we both have an idea of what we want and a price range and we get that ourselves...
I spend $100.00 on each of the 4 kids.
I spend $25.00-30.00 on each parent (I'm down to two dads)
and $20.00-$25.00 on each sister, $10.00-$15.00 on their spouses and usually get each nephew an outfit (that's what my sister requests) so like $10.00 each.

A few years ago, we decided to draw names (for those that wanted to) and the item had to be handmade, it could be anything for the person whose name you drew but it had to be handmade. My older kids participate, my stepdad and hubby did not. You can still get a bought gift for the person you drew or just do the homemade gift...

Hi K., In our family we only buy for kids under 16. Once you are 16 you don't get gifts. And my Grandma keeps to a $50 budget on the little ones. My kids are 5 & 7 and they do not expect a "big" gift from anyone. We stress what Christmas is about and in our family it's about the birth of Jesus and being with our family. So yes they have a ball getting their gifts, but they don't get any really big things. The aunts and uncles keep to a $30 budget. You'd be surprised what you can get for that. I get all our neices and nephew (only 1 so far!) 2 things each. Usually some type of clothes and then a toy or movie. But the adults in our family have stopped trading gifts, and this is for both sides of my family. Good luck!

I honestly have no idea what my parents spend on gifts, or whether they even spend the same amount on each of us (4 grown children, 2 of us are married, and I'm the only one with kids). I will say, though, that my mom is great at picking out gifts we LOVE... so I really don't care if they spent $15 or $100 on it... or whether they spent more or less on my family and me than on my siblings! lol

Personally, each year I write up a sort of "budget guideline" as I do my Christmas list, so I can see approximately what I have to spend on each person (and it may not be the same amount for each of them).
If I find a great bargain and only spend $20 on a gift for my brother instead of the planned $40, then I might have a little more to put toward my parents' gift, or I might put the leftover money into our savings account (depending on how tight our budget is that year).

Usually, we buy one gift per couple rather than separate gifts, and if their kids are older, we might spend a little more and get one gift for their whole family (so we're still spending less than individual gifts would cost).

We also hand-make a lot of our gifts; we both craft items and make food baskets and mixes. Often, a small basket of homemade food items make a nice, inexpensive gift, especially for all those "little" gifts that add up, such as neighbors, our postal carrier, the kids' friends, and relatives we rarely see.

Great gifts don't have to cost a lot. I remember my Grandmother making up a special box for each of her children's families every year--1 box per family. :-) Each box had a loaf of homemade bread, a large jar of homemade jam or jelly, a home-canned fruit or veggie (this varied), and a dessert (maybe a pie, a cake, a dozen muffins, a plate of cookies, or a couple loaves of pumpkin bread). Everyone looked forward to those boxes!

HTH! Have a wonderful Christmas!

From one Grandma to another .......... I think most reasonable people would understand if you tell them gently and in love that with the economy the way it is, you are just not able to do what you are used to doing this year. Most adults would be happy to just know that you remember them on that day with a card or note, but would feel terrible if they knew you had to sacrifice in order to give them an expensive treat.
Maybe you could give a nice note and in it place an invitation for a special dinner at your house later in the new year.
Ask the recipient if they prefer dinner alone with you, or would like to mix it up with other family members, and ask them what special food they would like for dinner.
Ask them to call you to set up a time and day that will work for you all.
People who are not happy with that ......... well, maybe it is time this happens so they can get a lesson in selflessness and the REAL treasures in life.

Hi K. -

My parents have 15 grandchildren, and now do $20 gifts. My inlaws have 8 grandchildren, and do $25 gifts. We generally pick the gifts that our children want the most (in the given price range) and have their grandparents get them those gifts. The kids are so excited, they don't know the difference in cost! In my honest opinion, $5 from a grandparent is sufficient!

Last year my mom made fleece blankets for each of us and the grandkids. Mine is scalloped edged with a Victorian scene, my husband's is MU, my son's was dolphins and my daughters was bright flowers. We all use them and love them even more because my mom made them for us. She did the easy edging such as tying, fringe, etc. She's on a limited budget and we splurge on her but don't want her going overboard on us. These were the year round gift that we will all use and treasure forever.

Also, one year she gave me a homemade gift certificate to help me clean my house. She'd come over and do the woodwork or hand scrub my hardwork floors. It was such a thoughtful gift. And then in the spring planted my flowers.

Hope you find something like this for your family that they will love and appreciate.

My grandparents & parents have ALWAYS toggled between how much cash they gave us for Christmas. Some years $50, some $100. It just all depended on their budgets.