Seeking Mothers Out There Who's Child Say's Their Bi or Gay (BlackMale)

I'm a mother, but not a mother in this situation. However, I STRONGLY urge you to contact PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays). They have an entire division devoted to adolescents, coming out, parents dealing with that, etc. It sounds like you are doing all the right things and are supportive. I'm so happy you told him you love him no matter what. That's SO important for him to know. Of course depending on how he deals with it in his life at this age, he could be in for some rough times at school. It will all depend on where he goes to school. That's where PFLAG might REALLY be of help.

I used to teach at an all-Black high school, and I was shocked to find (and still to know)that the HIGHEST suicide rate, period, is among teenage black males, and even higher in the sub-group of gay/bi black males. I'm not saying that to scare you or suggest that your son is suicidal or anything, but just to make sure you realize that the next few years are going to really be serious for him -especially if he totally comes out as bisexual or gay. Like I said, I'm so happy that you're being supportive -that will help him so much! Just keep those communication lines open, and keep him in therapy as long as he wants and as long as the therapist feels it's warranted.

http://community.pflag.org/Page.aspx?pid=194&srcid=-2

Hi C.. The issue here is that your son was molested and needs to go through counseling for this. My friend just informed his family that he was molested and that he is gay. His family showered support on him but they are NOT dealing with the most important issue here. People who are molested have been violated and if that issue is not dealt with there is a LIFELONG impact. I think you should get a counselor for your son.

My heart goes out to you. Your mama heart must hurt to know that someone violated your son's boundaries and body. Your son is lucky to have such a loving Mom!

What does his race have to do with your expected responses?

Sounds to me like you are dealing with this in the exact right way! Good for you for keeping your mind open and seeking counseling. Your son is lucky to have a mother like you who loves him unconditionally. I don't really have any advice, I just wanted to say that I think you are doing the right thing already! Good luck to you and your son.

My child being molested would be extremely hard to deal with. I can't imagine what you must be going through. Sounds like you are both on the right track with counseling though. It'll take a lot of work and possibly different counselors until you find the right one for you both but you can overcome this horrible situation. As far as bisexual (or even gay), the most important things in this world to me are that my children are healthy, happy and loved and it doesn't matter to me who they love as long as it's a good person. Good luck and just remember and remind your son that there is light at the end of this tunnel.

Focus on the Family has a wonderful website and seminar called Love Won Out. Below is the link:

http://www.lovewonout.com